Sonic Schoolhouse - Chapter One: First Day

"SUGARY VAULT! IT'S MINE! MINE I TELL YOU!" Bean hollered as he ran around the room flailing his bomb armed hands around. Starr chased after her younger cousin angrily.

"Bean! Get back here! You're gonna get the whole house blown to smithereens!" she warned him, pinching her fingers at the fuse of Bean's explosive in feeble attempt to extinguish the flame.

"I'm telling you, I had nothing to do with this," Charmy claimed, holding a half-eaten Hershey's chocolate bar. Chris threw the front door open and rushed in excitedly.

"Hey, guys! Guess what! I've got great news!" he exclaimed. Starr paid no attention.

"BEAN! PUT THAT DOWN! IT'S SO INHUMANE!" she shrieked. Amy, being the kind person she is, gave Chris her full, undivided attention.

"What's the news, Chris?" she asked. Chris threw his book bag in the corner and hung his coat up before answering her.

"My school figured since you guys are here, you'd might as well have a fun, safe place to go to. This way, you don't have to worry about being mobbed by rabid fans. So they finally put the building next to our school in good use! They're holding a school for you!" he cheered. Amy, Tails, Wave, and Cream cheered with him.

"Woo Hoo! We get a school just for us!" they whooped happily. Starr said nothing as she was trying to pry the now defused bomb from Bean's fingers as he began singing something about happy nachos. Sonic, Jet, and Shadow walked into the room laughing.

"And-And then-," Sonic laughed, trying to finish his joke, "The guy said 'What can I say? My shoes talk to each other at night!" The three fell over and rolled on the floor laughing. (ROFL…)

"OH MY GOSH!" Jet hooted (Jet the owl!!) "I NEVER HEARD A JOKE THAT FUNNY IN MY LIFE!"

"Lucky you, I heard them all the time to the point where they weren't… funny anymore," Starr struggled, still in attempt to get Bean's bomb away, also having endure Bean's horrible sugar-crazed singing.

"Who asked you?" Shadow spat.

"Shut up! Just help me get the TNT away from this evil 15-year old Jelly Bean!" Starr snapped back.

"OHHHH WHEN YOU'RE DOWN AND LOOKING FOR SOME CHEERING UP, THEN JUST HEAD RIGHT ON UP TO THE CANDY MOUNTAIN CAVE! WHEN YOU GET INSIDE YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF A CHEERY LAND! SUCH A HAPPY AND JOY-FILLED AND PERKY MERRY LAND! THEY'VE GOT LOLLIPOPS AND GUMMIDROPS AND CANDY THINGS! OH SO MANY THINGS THAT'LL BRIGHTEN UP YOU'RE DAY! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO WEAR A FROWN IN CANDY TOWN-" Bean sang loudly. Jet groaned and held a ring of keys in front of Bean. (copyright Charlie the Unicorn)

"Hey, Bean? See the shinies? You want the shiny keys?" he grinned.

"SHINY?" Bean perked up. Jet threw the keys out a random window.

"Go get 'em!" he commanded.

"SHINIES!" Bean screamed, hurling himself out the window after them. (copyright Archie Comics)

"Oh yeah…" Starr said, "I forgot about his shiny weakness. Thanks, Jet."

"No problem. Uh… hey, Wave, why the big grin?" Jet asked, perceiving the three girls (and Tails) jumping around happily.

"You'll never guess!" Wave giggled happily. Jet sat thinking for a minute.

"They've discovered Candy Mountain?" he guessed. (Again, copyright Charlie the Unicorn)

"No, dimwit, that was last week!" Wave hissed.

"They've found a way for us to physically lick our elbows?" Sonic grinned.

"…no, not for twelve more years," Wave said.

"Chris' school put that old building to use and made us Mobians and Babylonians a school so we can stay safe from all the fangirls?" Shadow asked. Wave blinked.

"You read the script didn't you?" she asked.

"No! … … …yes…" Shadow muttered.

"Ew. School?" Sonic asked.

"Yeah! Isn't it great?" Amy cheered, clapping her hands.

"Yeah… …I'm gonna go gag myself," Shadow grimaced.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad," Amy said.

"Yes it is!" Starr said, finally including herself in the conversation, "You have no idea how bad this is! Jet, Vector, Storm, Rouge, Big, Wave, and I are adults, and we're enduring school again?"

"That's my point exactly," Jet agreed.

"I don't do school," Sonic hissed, "It's so… educational."

"Well, sure school isn't in our regular routine, but maybe we'll meet others like us!" Tails said.

"Boring…" Shadow whined rudely.

"I think it sounds like fun. We might get to do arts and crafts!" Cream smiled.

"Boring…" Shadow whined again.

"You'll learn fighting techniques!" Tails said.

"Boring…"

"I hear they have shooting range classes," Chris grinned. Shadow's ears perked up.

"I'm listening," he said at full attention.

"TRAITOR!" Sonic and Jet yelled.

"I hear they also have jewel mining classes," Chris grinned. Rouge and Knuckles counted themselves in. Jet, Storm, Windy, and Starr were still not interested.

"You won't get in trouble for stealing other people's gems either," Chris told them.

"WOOT!" Jet and Storm grinned. Starr and Windy still weren't interested.

"They have boomerang throwing competitions," Chris said. Starr smiled. "And they have Extreme Gear tracks." Windy seemed to be happy.

"Still not interested," Sonic moaned.

"They have race tracks and free period," Chris told him.

"Okay, I am now," Sonic shrugged.

"Great! You guys start school on Monday!" Chris smiled.

"Okay then! This'll be fun!" Sonic grinned.

That Monday…

"Is school over yet?" Sonic moaned.

"Sonic, you just walked through the school doors," Amy said angrily.

"…so is it over?"

"No!"

"Dang it."

"Why thank you, Miss Shiny Keys, I think your accent is adorable! I have to go to school now. Of course you can have my number!" Bean said to his ring of keys. (Again, copyright Archie Comics)

"Why is he talking to those keys?" Starr asked. Jet shrugged.

"Like I know or care…" he muttered. Tails emerged from the school office with several slips of paper.

"Okay, I've got our schedules. Luckily, I think we've got classes of our interest," he told everyone, assigning each of them a paper.

"Yay! I have shooting range classes!" Shadow grinned, "…wait… I have sewing classes too?"

"Aw, you get a girly class!" Jet grinned. Shadow nudged him.

"Speak for yourself, bird-boy, you got choir," he spat.

"So? There are a few boys in chorus. How else would you get Baritone?" Starr pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah…" Shadow muttered.

"Ooh, I have chemistry classes, I CAN BLOW THINGS UP!" Bean grinned.

"The principal obviously doesn't know you," Wave snarled through gritted teeth.

"Or you," Storm said, "He gave you cheerleading classes."

"So? I can put up with that!" Wave said.

"You can't if Starr and Windy are in the same cheerleading class…" he snickered.

"AUGH! NO WAY!" Wave screamed, grabbing at Starr and Windy's schedules. Sure enough, they all had cheerleading for third period.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" the three screamed.

"Hey! No screaming in the halls!" a teacher barked. The school was run by humans, much to the Sonic Team's discomfort. There were few Mobians at the school. As far as the Sonic Team could tell, they were the only creatures in the school besides the teachers. Though as they separated to go to their classes, they found that they were wrong…

TO BE CONTINUED…