Kunais and Paintbrushes
Author's Note: This is a Yaoi story. That means there will be at least one male x male romantic pairing. In this case, that will be Sasuke x Sai. If any of that bothers you, you might want to turn back now. For those of you still here, I hope you enjoy this story and reviews are always appreciated.
Story Notation: Let's see if this "crackship" has any shippers.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no profit off of this story.
Chapter 1
"You're joking." Sasuke stares at Kakashi in disbelief.
The silver haired Hokage had said a lot of crazy things before, but this was just ridiculous. Though the last Uchiha supposed that he should count his blessings that Kakashi had managed to get him pardoned in the first place. Let alone that his request was as mild as this. It was just such a pointless one.
The CopyCat Ninja shakes his head. "No, I'm not joking." He smiles at Sasuke from behind his mask. "I really do feel that you could benefit from a hobby and it would probably go a long way towards humanizing you again with some of the other villagers." Uh huh.
Sasuke had been gone for a couple years. At nineteen, he felt like he was a completely different person than when he had first joined Team Seven. Probably because he was a different person, but he wasn't completely naïve.
It'd be stupid of him to assume that everyone else would be able to see that. Most people weren't Naruto or even Kakashi. Sasuke Ucihha had done a lot of horrible things on his quest for vengeance and frankly, he was lucky that their roles hadn't been reversed. Because if he was in the silver haired ninja's sandals, Sasuke would never have let himself back into the village after everything that he had done.
"And you really think my taking up painting is going to do that?" Sasuke shakes his head.
It wasn't that he was adverse to anything artistic in nature. He just had never really bothered with it. He had fingerpainted back at the Academy like everyone else and done a few drawings here and there. Most kids did. It was never as if he had displayed any real talent or deficiency in the area.
That meant that he had never given the matter any serious thought before. Why would he? It wasn't necessary for his revenge and it didn't have anything to do with redemption. Well at least that had been the case until about five minutes ago when Kakashi proposed his ridiculous idea.
Kakashi shrugs. "It might. If they see you creating something instead of destroying things." He smiles. "Besides, what's the worst that could happen? You find out that you have absolutely no artistic ability and waste some time?"
Well that was true. There really wasn't any "risk" involved in trying it and sadly, it wasn't as if the last Uchiha had anything else to do. He was tired of wandering and knew that Kakashi couldn't assign him missions that were at his skill level at the moment.
"I suppose that's true." Sasuke shrugs. "I'll just pick up a few art supplies and draw…something."
Kakashi chuckles. "Actually, I thought would be best…for you to engage in this activity with someone who has already mastered it." Damn it.
His former Sensei was meddling. Kakashi probably had some ridiculous idea that he was going to make friends with whoever this artist was. The CopyCat Ninja had clearly lost his mind.
"And I take it, this isn't optional?" Sasuke sighs.
The Hokage shakes his head enthusiastically. "That's right." He winks at Sasuke. "I knew there was a reason why you were considered a genius at the Academy."
Sasuke raises an eyebrow. He hadn't been aware that his genius status had been revoked. Why was Kakashi using past tense?
"Were considered a genius?" His eyebrow climbs higher as he tries not to let himself be distracted by the scent of Kakashi's coffee. "Is that no longer the case?"
It was a nice office, the ninja thinks to himself. Kakashi's desk was piled high with paperwork, but there were quite a few flowers on his desk. Likely Ino's and Sakura's influence.
Other than the ungodly amount of clutter on said desk, it was neat. Clean and organized. Very much not like Kakashi, Sasuke observes wryly as he glances out the window a the sunny blue sky as a messenger hawk passes by on its way to deliver a scroll to someone.
Kakashi chuckles as if Sasuke's question amused him. "Well you're highly intelligent, but you're also extremely reckless at times." He shrugs good naturedly-naturedly. "So I wasn't really sure if that label was still accurate."
Sasuke rolls his eyes. Kakashi was always on the playful side. The Leaf did seem to breed a different kind of ninja. Intentionally or unintentionally, Sasuke had noticed Leaf Ninjas were in general significantly more perky than the average ninja from other regions.
"Whatever. So who are you assigning to babysit me?" For instance, Sasuke highly doubted that anyone in the Sand would have taken on the Sixth's Hokage's playful persona. "And don't bother sugarcoating it." The very idea of Gaara doing such a thing was laughable.
Kakashi couldn't seem to stop laughing. "Well Sai." That was never a good sign and that was just reaffirmed when the other ninja answered him.
Sai?! His fucking replacement?! Sasuke stares at Kakashi incredulously. He couldn't be serious!
"My replacement?!" The Sixth Hokage seriously didn't see how that was going to be an issue? "He actually agreed to this?" Sasuke couldn't fathom how such a thing was possible.
He had tried to have a go at Naruto right in front of Sai. Sai had blocked him. Which honestly, had surprised Sasuke at the time, but that was a matter for another day.
What mattered was that Sai had every reason to hate him. He was Sasuke's replacement on Team Seven and still kinda was. The last Uchiha had been wondering for a couple years and Sai had naturally stepped up to fill the gap caused by his absence. He was now closely bonded with Naruto and Sakura.
The two people who he had hurt the most. "Yes, he agreed." The last Uchiha was sure that he was utterly gaping at Kakashi, but he couldn't help it. "He was a bit surprised by the request at first naturally, but Naruto encouraged him a bit." Kakashi pauses and then smiles cheerfully. "That and I think he's eager to share his hobby with someone else and this will be an excellent team building exercise for the two of you."
Team building. God, Sasuke hated that phrase. The two words were completely innocent by themselves, but when you put them together…well you had a recipe for one cranky Uchiha!
"Right." Sasuke sighs because he knew that he wasn't getting out of this one. "Where can I find him?"
Kakashi smiles cheerfully again and the last Uchiha's blood ran cold at the sight. "Oh I told him just to head to the Uchiha District and that you would be joining him shortly." HE WHAT?!
"You can't just send people into my home without my consent!" Sasuke glares at his former instructor.
The CopyCat Ninja just smiles. "Sasuke, I'm Hokage now. You're one of my ninjas." Damn it. "I have some authority over you and I did get you a pardon. Just humor me on this." He smiles again. "I think that it will be good for you."
Sasuke was really, really beginning to hate that smile. It was worse than Sai's creepy one and Kakashi didn't have the excuse that the artist did. Kakashi hadn't had his emotions beaten out of him by ROOT. He could smile normally, if he wanted to. It was just obvious that the silver haired ninja preferred messing with people!
"And I'm thinking that a Chidori below the belt might be good for you." Sasuke glares at him.
Kakashi just chuckles. "Threatening me with my own attack." He shakes his head. "Such cruelty. Best be off. You don't want to keep him waiting too long."
Sasuke sighs and Flickers back to the Uchiha District. It had been rebuilt. Most likely that had been courtesy of Naruto's Shadow Clones because Sasuke hadn't authorized any reconstruction efforts. Well at least not after his original house was put back up.
After all, he did prefer four walls around him when given a choice. Like most ninjas, Sasuke was used to sleeping outdoors when the occasion demanded it. That didn't mean that he was going to do so by choice though.
"Ah there you are!" He hears a vaguely familiar voice call out to him.
Sasuke heads towards it and blinks at the strange sight that was Sai in the Uchiha District with his creepy smile. It probably would have been a nice smile, if it wasn't so forced.
Whatever. Sai's smile wasn't something that should matter to him. What mattered was convincing him to get Kakashi to back off.
"Hard to believe Kakashi actually managed to talk you into this." Sasuke glances at him up and down in what he hoped was a casual manner. "Then again, you've always been rather good at following orders."
His replacement certainly looked the part. Sai had grown out his hair to a degree. Well at least the bangs. Those pitch black locks were now hanging everywhere over his face, except for those dark eyes of his. Eyes darker than coal. Made even more vivid by the fact that Sai was actually fairer skinned than him and that was certainly saying something.
His facial features were delicate and elegant. Somehow the fact that his black jacket only came to below his ribcage and show chased his lithe torso only made them seem even more so. Sai was definitely skinny, but thankfully it appeared that he had actually eaten a few decent meals since they last met. (The last time that that he had briefly encountered Sai, he had been almost alarmingly skinny).
Sai smiles cheerfully at him. "Sasuke, the Hokage wants us to become friends." That large scroll on his back probably explained why Sai's shoulders were a lot more broad than Sasuke remembered them being. "Please don't make me kill you because you were being a bastard." He smiles pleasantly. "That is what Naruto calls you. Isn't it?" Too pleasantly.
Sasuke knew when he was being threatened and Sai actually thought he could threaten him. The very thought made him laugh. The only way he could see that happening was if Sai managed to trap him inside one of his paintings.
That seemed highly unlikely though. As skilled as Sai was, it took some time to draw that big a tiger. The tiger that was necessary for that technique to work and he didn't have any backup…unless you counted clones potentially. (Which Sasuke would slice through like butter).
"Kakashi wants a lot of things." Sasuke smirks. "Doesn't mean that he's going to get them, but yes." The last Uchiha didn't see a reason to lie about Naruto's stupid nickname for him. "The idiot does call me that, but you don't get to. You're a stranger."
Sai shoots him another cheerful smile. "Idiot. Yes, I have read that some friends give each other unflattering nicknames as a way of showing affectionate." Oh boy.
It wasn't the guy's fault, but he was clearly lagging behind when it came to social cues. Just another reason, why Sasuke was glad that he had killed Danzo. How many "Sais" were out there?
How many children and young ninjas had he beaten the emotions out of? It was clear that at least in Sai's case though, the elderly ninja hadn't been entirely successful. There was still a flicker of light in those eyes. A spark of a personality and that seemed to be growing by the day.
Ironic. That's what it was. "That's accurate enough." While his replacement was slowly finding himself and gaining more approval from their fellow Leaf Villagers, Sasuke was on the opposite end of the spectrum.
How had it come to this? He was once a happy child and a prodigy in his own right. He had been well liked, even when he didn't give a damn about the other villagers and now, he was essentially a bomb that everyone was waiting to go off.
"You look troubled." Sai gestures for Sasuke to follow him. "I find that art is very relaxing for me." He glances back at him. "Perhaps, it will be the same for you."
He had just been given a rather clumsy peptalk by a former member of ROOT. Sasuke really had fallen off the wagon, it seemed. Oh well. He'd just have to find a way to get back on it.
Sasuke shrugs and follows Sai outback. "I doubt it." It didn't escape Sasuke's notice that Sai had chosen to set up a few canvases by the Clan Hotsprings. "I'm better at destroying things than creating them."
That was the truth. When had been the last time that he had actually made something that wasn't a plan? Purely because he could or wanted to? For the life of him, the Uchiha man couldn't remember and that disturbed him for some reason.
"Well sometimes destruction results in creation." Sai smiles. "Nature is funny that way. A wildfire clears the way for a new generation of the forest to grow."
That was very poetic and everything, but Sasuke doubted that would be case for him. Still, he could tell Sai was trying and well it was a beautiful day. Even Sasuke had a hard time being too angry on a day like this.
It was too beautiful to be angry. The Sun was shining. The birds were chirping. The grass around the hot springs was green and lush and the wildflowers that dotted said grass were beautiful in their coloration and unassuming nature.
They were natural flowers. "I guess we'll see." The kind just that just grew naturally. Not the kind that had to be planted there and tended to by human hands in order to flourish. "What am I supposed to paint, anyway?"
Kakashi had never really said. Maybe, Sai knew. That would be like the Sixth Hokage to tell Sai what Sasuke's "mission" was, but not him.
Sai grins at him as he hands Sasuke a rather large paintbrush. Thankfully, it hadn't been dipped in paint yet or else it probably would have gotten all over his traveling cloak and that would have taken forever to clean! (Hell, it probably would be easier just to get a new one…if that did happen).
"Kakashi didn't give specific instructions." Sai smiles at him again. "So paint whatever you like."
Uh huh. That wasn't helpful. What the Hell was he supposed to paint?
Sasuke shakes his head as he looks at the blank canvas. Was Kakashi trying to do some sort of strange psych evaluation on him or something? There was probably a lot you could tell about someone by what they'd choose to put on a blank canvas.
The last Uchiha had never been as gifted as his brother at reading people outside of battle, but the symbolism was just too stark for him not to notice. A blank canvas. He had been that once.
A long time ago. "Well…what do you usually paint?" He had been an innocent child and so had Itachi. It was largely his fault, but Sasuke realized that his canvas hadn't really been painted by him.
It had been painted by almost everyone else. His father, definitely. Perhaps to some subtle degree, even his mother. Itachi had manipulated him out of love, but he had still manipulated him. Team Seven had tried to determine what went on his canvas. Orochimaru definitely had. Surely, Obito had wanted use him. Hell, even Naruto had never truly let Sasuke decide what he wanted to do. It was a bitter realization, but a profound one.
"Me?" Sai seemed disturbingly delighted by Sasuke's question. "People mostly." He smiles widely. "I find them fascinating."
Well that seemed as good an answer as any. "Alright then." He could paint people that he knew.
Now, that he was actually presented with a choice…he hadn't known what to do. Someone had always told him what to do or manipulated him into choosing to do whatever they wanted him to do. It was sad.
He couldn't even decide what to fucking paint without some sort of instruction. Sasuke sighs and grabs some black paint first. Well, at least he had an immediate goal.
"Black an interesting choice." Sai muses cheerfully. "Are you feeling depressed? That's a feeling that is often associated with black."
Sasuke resists the urge to punch Sai. It wasn't his fault that he lacked any sense of tact. Besides, he had just gotten back. Punching a fellow Leaf Ninja probably wouldn't look good.
"My feelings are of no consequence to you." He normally would have been far harsher. "So do us both a favor and don't try to analyze me." For some reason though, he couldn't.
It was probably those eyes. He'd never seen eyes that dark before. They were strangely beautiful and that wasn't a word that he often associated with men (or really anyone).
Sai smiles pleasantly. "I'm not trying to analyze you. For that to be possible, I would have to understand myself first." Too pleasantly.
Sasuke feels his hands twitch as he grips the brush a bit too tightly. He was lucky that he didn't get splinters. Uchiha Prodigy or not, splinters were not an enjoyable experience.
"Uh huh." Sasuke shakes his head and starts painting.
He couldn't remember the last time he'd done this in any serious way. Had he ever? Probably not. Childish attempts at the Academy were all that were springing to mind, when he tried to recall painting.
Well no time like the present, he supposed. Sasuke had nothing better to do at the moment and his pride wouldn't allow him to suck at anything. Not even something as "trivial" in his mind as painting.
With a few rare exceptions, it wasn't a ninja skill. It wasn't a survival skill. Art was quite frankly not something that he thought about much, if ever.
Sai was watching him. "You seem to be drawing someone with dark hair." Which only made his competitive streak worse.
Of course, Sasuke was confident he could defeat Sai in a fight. Not in this though. He'd never be Sai's equal when it came artistic ability and he knew that and yet, well he wasn't going to disgrace himself by painting stick figures.
"Yes, I am." Obviously. "That would be why I reached for the black paint." And as if to prove his point, Sasuke dips his brush into the black paint again and glides it over the canvas.
He adds a dash of white to the black to lighten it up just a little bit. He might never be a great painter, but Itachi did deserve his best attempt anyway. He owed him at least that much.
Sai actually laughs. "You use sarcasm as a defense mechanism." So much for not being analyzed. Whatever.
"Think what you want." He'd finish this picture of Itachi and present it to Kakashi. "I'm only doing this to get the Hokage off my back." And maybe, that would satisfy the other ninja.
He could at least say that he tried. That was something, right? Well he had to say this much for painting, at least it allowed him to focus on something other than his screw ups for a few minutes.
Sasuke smiles slightly as about ten minutes later, he looks at his finished Itachi. It was far from a masterpiece, but at least it wasn't a stick figure. It should be good enough to get him out of this unusual situation.
"Well you have good instincts. You know how to manipulate paints at least on a basic level." Sasuke rolls his eyes at that. "And you do pay rather good attention to expressions. You did an excellent job on his eyes." Basic, his ass!
Sai sounded like a parent who was trying to give his child a review on their drawing. It shouldn't have mattered to Sasuke, but on some level he cared. He actually cared about what Sai thought of his painting and that was unsettling.
That meant this twisted little experiment had come to an end. "Thanks. Well let's take it back to Kakashi." Sasuke turns to head off.
"I wasn't done. Though your brushstrokes are too aggressive. Too broad." Sai pauses as if he wasn't sure how to say the next part nicely. "You were rushing."
Not really. That was more time than he had ever spent on painting before. "I was not." Sasuke rolls his eyes once more as he begins putting away his paint supplies.
Sai actually had the gall to stop him. The artist covers Sasuke's hand with his own and brings the brush back to the canvas with Sasuke's hand still firmly underneath his.
It was shocking really. Both that the artist was apparently suicidal enough to attempt this and how soft the other man's hands were. Like silk. Probably because his specialty wasn't as rough and tumble as most Taijutsu and Ninjutsu Users.
"I suppose it would be helpful to put it in terms you'd understand better." Sai smiles as he forces Sasuke to make a few more intricate strokes. "Art is a lot like fighting or sex in a way."
Why Sasuke hadn't burned Sai's hand off for his offensive, he wasn't sure. Still, he allows the artist to guide his hand. He wasn't actually hurting him and he supposed he could tolerate the presumptuousness for the sake of hearing Sai's reasoning.
He watches as the black paint slides onto the canvas. "How do you figure?" Effortlessly. Somehow Sai's motions were effortless. In comparison, Sasuke felt like his own had been ridiculously awkward and crude.
"Well a paintbrush is a lot like a kunai really. You have to grip it the right way and know where you want it to go." He smiles happily. "And you have to know exactly how much pressure to apply and when to release it."
Sasuke supposed that was an accurate analogy. He'd never really thought about it that way before.
He nods his head. "Makes sense." Sasuke knew that he was likely going to regret asking, but curiosity was a powerful force. "I'm almost afraid to ask, but how is art like sex?"
Surprisingly, that wasn't a topic he discussed much. While Sasuke had walked in on far more than one lewd conversation or even coupling in the Sound Village, he had never participated or stuck around long enough to investigate the matter further.
He knew the basics. Sasuke knew what was required to restore his Clan and well, that was enough for him. He saw no reason to become a pervert like Kakashi, Jirayia, or God forbid…Orochimaru. (That man's obsession with snakes was frankly rather unhealthy)!
"Oh well the same things that I just said can be applied to sex." The artist continues smiling as if discussing this was the most natural thing in the world. "One should take their time during sex. You get better with practice and eventually, you figure out how to grasp, hold, and when to release your partner's dick. And of course, some paintbrushes and kunais are bigger than others. They also have different thickness levels."
Sasuke blinks and smacks Sai. "You're a god damn pervert!" It wasn't a hard smack. Sasuke was capable of breaking every bone in Sai's face if he wanted to.
The last Uchiha felt pathetic. Like he was some blushing Academy Girl or something. He couldn't believe he had actually smacked Sai for being a pervert, but he had.
"That hurt!" Sai rubs his cheek. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were that shy about such matters." A bruise was rapidly forming on it. "I presumed someone who was as well traveled as you would be familiar with such things."
Sasuke was suddenly tempted to smack Sai again. "I'm perfectly familiar with the topic!" That didn't meant that he discussed kunai sizes with other people on a regular basis though!
"Oh then is it the fact that I was speaking about an erotic encounter between two men?" He tilts his head thoughtfully. "Perhaps, I presumed too much. I just figured since you had kissed Naruto twice, that you were fine with such relationships."
How Sai had found out about those accidents, Sasuke wasn't sure. He did know one thing though. The artist was treading on very thin ice!
Sasuke glares at him. "I don't care, if two men are together. I don't care, if two women are together." That was so not the point! "The point is that you're a pervert!"
Sai seemed genuinely confused by his reaction. "You had Kakashi and Orochimaru as your instructors. One would think that you would be used to hearing about such things by now." Alright, that was a good point. "And besides, I'm sure you have a very large paintbrush!"
Sasuke twitches. He really needed to show Kakashi his stupid painting and get Sai out of his District. Preferably before he strangled the idiot for thinking about his paintbrush far too much for it to be normal!
"You're right." The Uchiha twitches again. "I should be used to it, but that doesn't make me like them." Another twitch. "And stop referring to that as a paintbrush!"
Sai smiles. "I never realized you where this shy. Interesting. I'll have to tell Naruto about this." He nods somberly.
That as it! Sasuke couldn't take it anymore! "You're so dead!" And with that, he lunges at Sai just as he sees a familiar head of silver hair Flicker into the District.
"Well you two are getting along about as well I expected." Kakashi smiles as he turns another page in his book.