Okay, so this is an idea I got from My Darkest Days' song. My friend recently showed it to me, and the stupid bastard, he got it stuck in my head! My very sensitive, prone- to- distraction head. So now, what do you think I sing during tests? Well anyway, I got the idea for this in Chemistry one day, taking a test and singing "She wraps those hands around that pole" in my head and thinking "I need to write a Lucius and Narcissa fic... what if they went clubbing." Then, after some thought, I remembered the one scene in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban where Harry Ron and Hermione went into the three broomsticks, only to get thrown out by the amazing talking heads... And Alas, it is all Kevin's fault.

Lucius crumpled the note from his wife tighter, thinking up a spell to burn it with. He'd gotten to the Three Broomsticks early, early, and she still hadn't met him. Standing outside was cold, too! And to think that all the Hogwarts students would be arriving soon, with their idle chatter and their good tidings of joy. He hated joy, one of many things. And to be surrounded by it, during Christmas, to say the least. She'd told him they had reservations, reservations! In the Three Broomsticks, for Merlin's sake! With a huff, he rose from his bench, and opened the door.

"Malfoy." He grumbled, to the first waitress to come near him. She was quiet, nodding her head and leading him to a table right near the bar. He ordered a drink, leaning forward as other guests filed in slowly, some of the talking heads situated nearby the door jeering at them. Every time the door swung upon, there was a draft that made Lucius's mood even colder, which was saying alot. Narcissa, she was still late. If it was one thing about his wife, she was almost never late. The next time he saw her... One of the barmaids flicked her wand, and whatever illusion that had stayed over the bar evaporated, showing a dark, sadistic back, silvered looking poles connected high to the ceiling, and then down to the counter.

"No minors aloud!"

"Get out!"

"Close the damn door!" Three of the heads screeched, followed by some teenage mumbled apology. Lucius was curious at this point, though still pissed off at Narcissa, she still hadn't showed, and he had a feeling she wasn't outside. Instruments behind the bar, that had previously gone unnoticed, struck up a chord he didn't notice, and one of the others, probably a head, wolf whistled. Yes, he was curious.

P-p-porn star dancin'!

Muggle music? They were playing muggle music? He slammed his drink into the table, rising abruptly, when he spotted women coming from the back. He blanked out, Narcissa had asked him to come for this? They were scantily clad, not that he minded, but they still weren't Narcissa. And she still wasn't-

Kelly won't kiss my friend, Cassandra
Jessica won't play ball
Mandy won't share her friend, Miranda
Doesn't anybody live at all?

Amanda won't leave me empty handed
Got her number from a bathroom stall

Brandy just got way too much baggage
And tonight shit just gets old

But I got a girl who can put on a show
The dollar decides how far you can go with her

He knew that hair. She was there, walking towards him. He didn't know she had those stillettos, if he had, hell, she'd have been using them by now. And 'Little black dress' just took on a whole new meaning. She floated, and he was stuck spelbound for more than a few seconds, because she was suddenly close enough to have her hands on him, pushing him down with enough force to knock most people over. He reached for her, and she stepped back qquickly, stepping up onto one of the bar stools with unnatural, unhuman grace.

She wraps those hands around that pole

She stepped back again, up onto the counter, and he still sat, taken, as she wrapped fingers he was very well associated with around one of the glimmering silver poles, sliding her body against it.

She licks her lips and off we go

Her tongue slid out, against bright red lipstick, and he felt that suddenly his pants were way too tight.

She takes it off nice and slow
Cause that's porn star dancing

She'd gone back a step, sliding the straps of her dress down slowly, flicking her eyes at him as she did so, and he knew right then he would so get back at this woman. First chance he got.

She don't play nice, she makes me beg
She drops that dress around her legs
And I'm sittin' right by the stage
With this porn star dancing

She stepped out, grasping the pole again, and he reached forward to touch her, touch some part of her, to be denied with only a smirk and another graceful, sexy twist on that pole. He was damned jealous of that pole actually, it was getting more of his wife right now than he was.

Your body's lighting up the room
Now want a naughty girl like you
There's nothing hotter than...

She grasped the pole tighter, riding it roughly, and he felt himself get harder. His sadistic, bitch of a wife... This pole was going to die. And when he got his hands on her. Well. She was going to beg. If he'd known she moved this well on a pole, there would definitely have been one installed in their house by now.

Stacy's gonna save her self for marriage
But that's just not my style

She got pair that's nice to stare at
But I want girls gone wild

But I know a place where there's always a show
The dollar decides how far you can go with her

Lucius remembered when they had first gotten married. He'd been so afraid he'd get some gentle maid, and now, looking back, maybe, just maybe, that would have been better. Narcissa looked all chaste and proper pureblood to the general public, but now... Oh yes, he knew her very well. She ran a hand up her side, sliding down the pole again, smirking at him.

She wraps those hands around that pole
She licks those lips and off we go
She takes it off nice and slow
Cause that's porn star dancing

As slow as she'd slid down, she was up again, wrapping her legs up around the pole, moving her hips in such a way to make him slide over to the bar stool closest her. Very talented, of a pole dancer, a wife he had. As soon as he moved, she spun, back to him, sliding down the pole rapidly.

She don't play nice, she makes me beg
She drops that dress around her legs
And I'm sittin' right by the stage
with this porn star dancing

Your body's lighting up the room
Now i want naughty girl like you
Let's throw a party just for two
you know those normal girls won't do

She knocked her head back, and he kissed her, digging his teeth into her lip almost immediately. He slid his hand against her bare ribs, running his palm roughly down her thigh. That damn pole again, it was in the way, always in the way. Lucius slid his hand into her thong, eliciting a moan from her as he rubbed her wetness. Narcissa's hips bucked, slamming his hand into the pole, not that he minded much, as long as Draco didn't turn around and start asking "Father, why are your fingers black and blue?" and he didn't have to explain he had a very sexy bitch for a mother. He slid a finger inside her, and she pulled away, smirking again. He groaned, frustrated. This woman was going to drive him mad!

She wraps those hands around that pole
She licks those lips and off we go
She takes it off nice and slow
Cause that's porn star dancing

The door opened, while the rest of the wizards were cheering loudly, except one of the heads just happened to notice.

"No minors aloud!" It screeched ridiculously, pitched high enough to shatter a window with its voice alone. "Shut the damn door!" Narcissa slid a leg up over his shoulder, knocking her head back again as his teeth dug into her thigh. There was a surprised gasp from the door though, that none of them happened to notice.

"Bloody hell! Thats my mother!"

She don't play nice, she makes me beg
She drops that dress around her legs
And I'm sittin' right by the stage
With this porn star dancing

Porn Star Dancing

Well thanks guys. Thats my first attempt at a song fic, and anything with poles. anyway! I love the end. R&R&L