Title: The Third Option
Author: Dorri
Summary: ["Alternate Puss Series"] A look into how Puss crossed paths with the Ogre Resistance and how he came to be Fiona's loving companion.
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Rumpel, Fiona, Puss, and Brogan
Disclaimer: The characters of Shrek belong to Dreamworks Animation. I do not make any profit from these writings.
The Third Option
Business hadn't exactly been booming over the last couple of months. Ever since Rumpel had taken over the kingdom and sent his witches to scour the land for ogres, Puss's services were hardly ever needed. Rumpel's witches seemed to do a well enough job of capturing and imprisoning ogres, especially considering they had a bird's eye view of the land. Puss was certain that his ogre hunting days were drawing to a close, which wasn't good news for him. After all, he needed money to survive.
The tabby glanced out the window from his 'office', longing to feel the sunlight on his fur. With a sigh, he hopped down from his chair and exited the room, making his way for the front door of the pub, while being careful not to let himself be stepped on by the scoundrels swaying about amongst the place. He noticed the Cyclops who typically stood guard by the door was absent, but he didn't let his thoughts linger on his whereabouts.
Pushing the door open, Puss winced as the sunlight bathed his face. He held a paw up to shield his view as his eyes adjusted. It was then that he noticed that the Cyclops had stepped outside as well, and at the moment, he appeared to be arguing with a witch.
"You're not using this property for your advertising purposes," he growled, pulling a wanted poster off the wall.
"What is the big deal?" the witch screeched. "It ain't hurting anything! Besides, this seems like the best place to put up these wanted posters."
The Cyclops groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine, but just one! Don't slap about a hundred of those things all over the pub!" he snapped as he turned and marched back into the pub.
Puss glanced at the wanted poster, not surprised to see the artist's depiction of an ogre. "A reward, hmm?" he said.
"Yeah, what's it to you?" the witch snapped. Puss narrowed his eyes.
"Well, I might be interested, but if you don't lose that snippy attitude of yours, I may lose interest very quickly." Clearly, even with dozens of witches scouting the kingdom, ogres still managed to slip through the cracks. Perhaps he wouldn't have to retire early, after all. "How much is the reward?" he asked.
"A hundred gold pieces."
Puss's eyes flashed with interest. A hundred gold pieces was certainly a handsome price. Ordinarily, he accepted no less than fifty gold pieces for his services, but one hundred was certainly a rare deal.
"And who do I talk to about providing my services?"
"You? What are you going to do with that wimpy skewer of yours?"
Puss's tail began to swish in agitation. This witch's foul attitude was gradually picking away at the last ounce of patience he had.
"Clearly, you don't know who I am. I am Puss In Boots, renown ogre assassin. People have traveled for miles to seek my help in ogre slaying."
The witch still didn't look so impressed, but she decided not to argue with the feline. "All right, then," she said as she extended her arm out. Her broom flew to meet her open palm and she hopped aboard. "Hop on."
Puss looked at the floating broom apprehensively. He approached it slowly and hoisted himself up, holding onto the handle with one paw and his hat with the other.
0ooooooo0
Riding on the broom hadn't exactly been a pleasant experience for Puss. Normally, he liked heights, but he didn't like being suspended a hundred feet in the air with the only thing keeping him from falling being a broom stick. By the time they finally landed in front of the palace, Puss's claws had embedded themselves into the wood of the broom.
"Let's go," the witch snapped, sliding off her broomstick. Puss simply growled in response, yanking his claws free from the broom. The two walked inside the large palace, the witch walking several feet ahead of the feline. Puss had become so transfixed by the exquisite palace that he jumped when he heard the witch call out, "Rumpelstiltskin!" before bowing slightly.
"Yes, yes, what is it?" the little man asked from his thrown, drumming his fingers against the arm of the chair. Puss peered around the witch to get a look at the man, seeing that he had several witches standing on either side of his thrown.
"This cat here says he's interested in the reward for the ogres."
After this was said, the witch quickly stepped aside, revealing the little boot-clad cat.
"HA!" one of the witches shouted, pointing a finger at the cat. "Seriously? What's he going to do? He's just a little cat!"
Puss bared his teeth, his paw finding the handle of his sword. Rumpelstiltskin shook his head, waving the witch's taunt off.
"Don't mind her, she's just cranky because someone dropped a house on her sister," he said. "So…who might you be?" the little elf-like man asked.
"Puss In Boots, sir," Puss replied, removing his hat and bowing his head. Rumpel leaned back in his chair, his eyes flashing with familiarity as he studied the cat carefully, becoming skeptical. Puss caught his eye, brows furrowing as he noticed the little man staring at him rather oddly. "Umm…señor? Is there a problem?"
"H-Huh?" Rumpel stuttered, straightening up.
"You were staring."
"Oh, no, no, it's nothing," he said. "So…down to business…oh wait! Wolfie!" Rumpel called, clapping his hands together. Seconds later, a wolf dressed in what looked to be a maid's uniform emerged, scowling as he carried a powdered wig in his paws. He placed the wig atop the dictator's head and was promptly shooed away after the task was finished. "All right, now off with you!"
Wolfie turned and started to leave the room, catching Puss's eye as he walked by, muttering, "Kill me," to him as he went.
"Okay, so you say you're interested in providing your services?" Rumpel asked.
"Si, sir."
Rumpel nodded, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a rolled up piece of paper. He gestured for Puss to approach him. "Typically, when ogres are captured, they are brought to me alive and forced into slavery…but this ogre," he growled as he unrolled the paper and turned it around for Puss to see, "...I want dead," he finished. "She is the leader of the Resistance and a real thorn in my side."
"So this one you want dead?" Puss asked as he took the wanted poster from the king's hands, studying the picture of the redheaded ogress.
"Yes," Rumpel replied slyly, drumming his fingertips against each other.
"Well, then, it shall be done," Puss replied confidently, rolling up the poster. He then extended his paw out, palm facing upward. Rumpel stared at the paw momentarily before shaking it.
"All right, then," he said, pulling his hand back and leaning back against his chair. Puss stared down at his empty paw still hanging in the air, not having expected to get a handshake from the dictator.
"Umm…no," he chuckled. He opened and closed his paw in a wanting gesture. "The money, por favor?"
Rumpel simply chuckled. "I don't think so, kitty. You bring me Fiona's head first, and then you'll see your money."
Puss narrowed his eyes, taking a step forward. "That is not how I do business, señor."
The king suddenly got to his feet, leaning forward a bit to glare threateningly at the feline. "Well that's how I do business! Take it or leave it! You seem pretty confident in your abilities, so I would think that it wouldn't matter."
"I do not trust you," Puss growled in response.
"What a coinky-dink! I don't trust you! Either you agree to do the job, or we can just get someone else to do it. You really think I'd care if you walked away now?"
Growling, the cat's paw found the handle of his rapier.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the dictator advised as he clapped his hands together twice. The witches suddenly moved forward, surrounding the assassin and showing their weapons as a warning. "Unless you want to lose the rest of your nine lives, I'd advise you to put away your weapon."
Biting back a snarl, the tabby let his sword fall back in place, dropping his arm to his side. "Very well, then," he said begrudgingly. "It is a deal."
"Good! Now, on your way!" the king said, taking on a perkier tone. He made a shooing gesture with his hand, urging the cat out of the room. "Go on. The sooner you get going, the sooner the money will be yours."
The assassin, while still glaring, gave a tip of his hat, and then turned abruptly, his black cape billowing gracefully behind him. He pushed open the double doors and went on his way.
0ooooooo0
Finding out where these ogres were located wasn't exactly the hardest task. After all, he had a very sensitive sense of smell, and ogres typically had a very strong scent, enabling the feline to smell them from a mile away. It wasn't until nightfall that the feline actually managed to locate the campsite of the group. They were nestled deep in the heart of a forest on the edge of the kingdom, or what used to be a forest, as most of the trees were just large, rotted out tree trunks. He crept as close as he could without the risk of being seen, keeping low to the ground.
The camp was alive with the hustle and bustle of the ogres running about, sharpening their axes and testing out their skills on a bunch of witch dummies. However, he didn't see any sign of the female ogre he was looking for, but he knew she had to be walking around here somewhere. The feline crept just a bit closer, taking a spot behind a tree trunk for cover. He spent a few minutes studying each ogre he saw amongst the camp, but saw not a single one that resembled the female leader. He came to the conclusion that she was probably away from the heart of the camp somewhere, and so the assassin quietly slipped away to continue his search.
Puss located the ogress not terribly far away, in an area which housed the group's weapons. The ogress was busy chucking her axe at a very poorly constructed dummy of Rumpelstiltskin, and it was clear from the loud grunts she emitted every time she chucked the axe that she hated the little dictator with a burning passion. Taking a deep breath, the feline started to move in. The ogress had already turned around at that point, her back to the approaching assassin.
"Halt, ogre!"
The ogress stopped abruptly and turned at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. She looked down in confusion, not expecting to see a feline clad in boots, a cape and a hat standing before her. She actually grinned at the creature. "Hey, there, little guy," she said, crouching down to where she was eye level with the cat. "Are you lost?"
The cat rolled his eyes, unhooking his cape. He drew his sword, pointing it at his enemy. "Pray for mercy from Puss…In Boots!"
The ogress straightened up, now regarding the cat with a look of confusion. "What?" she asked, smiling crookedly.
Puss's eyes narrowed, becoming frustrated that this ogre was not seeing him as a threat. It was rather insulting, but he figured if she didn't see him as a threat, then it would make the kill all the more easier. "Prepare to breathe your last breath, beast!" he shouted. With a loud battle cry, he charged forward. As he came in for the kill, he saw something large rush towards him from his right side. He didn't even have time to react before being roughly kicked. He sailed through the air several feet before slamming into the trunk of the tree. He hit the ground with a thud, unmoving.
"Brogan, why did you do that?"
The ogre who had launched the attack looked to the ogress with shock. "He was about to attack you!"
The ogress rolled her eyes, going over to check on the fallen cat. "He's a cat, Brogan!"
"But he's got a weapon, Fiona!"
Fiona shook her head, scooping the unconscious cat into her arms and cradling him against her chest. "You didn't have to kick him halfway across the country! I'm taking him back to my tent."
"But what if he tries to attack you again?"
"I think I can handle myself," the ogress snapped as she made her way out of the weapons area and to the tent she had set up not far away. She made her way inside and momentarily placed the unconscious cat down on her makeshift bed, which was really just a collection of blankets. She knelt down on one knee and looked the boot-clad cat over, noticing that his left arm had sustained a cut and appeared to be bleeding. She quickly located some bandages and set to work at wrapping the feline's arm.
Once his wounds were taken care of, Fiona began to gently stroke the cat's head, smiling slightly. Despite the cat having just tried to attack her, she couldn't bring herself to really be angry with him. She had always had a soft spot for cats growing up, but despite that soft spot, she knew she had to keep her guard up with this particular feline in case he tried to attack her again. It was clear she had to teach him some manners.
0oooooooo0
Puss groaned as he came to, momentarily forgetting where he was or what had happened. A delightful scent wafted through his nostrils, and he quickly sat up, the smell energizing him. Looking down, he saw that a plate of cooked fish had been placed in front of him. Immediately, his mouth began to salivate.
"Ah, you're finally awake," came a voice. Looking up, Puss saw the ogress standing in the entranceway of the tent, smiling down at him. He quickly leapt to his feet, reaching for his sword but noticed with horror that it was not there.
"What have you done with my sword?"
"Calm down, it's right over there," Fiona replied as she pointed at the sword residing on a small, wooden table. "Aren't you going to eat? I kind of assumed you liked fish. I know cats typically like fish."
The cat looked back down at the yet-to-be-eaten fish placed in front of him, then at his injured arm, which had clearly been bandaged while he had been unconscious. "What sort of game are you playing, ogre?"
Fiona blinked. "No game. Why do you ask that?"
"I attack you, and then you treat my wounds and offer me food? Why do I feel as though I'm the one who is being set up for a hit here? Perhaps this fish is poisoned?" the feline replied as he poked the fish with his finger.
"I promise you, it's not. I guess I didn't hold a grudge because…well…you're kind of cute, silly as that sounds. I can't bring myself to hurt a little cat."
Puss didn't seem so thrilled by that answer. "Where is the bastard that attacked me?" he growled viciously.
"That was Brogan. Look, don't be mad at him, he's just a little overprotective, and you did attack me first, remember?" Fiona paused for a moment, tilting her head as she studied the feline. "Why did you attack me? I hardly think it was a random act. I kind of find it hard to believe that you just woke up and thought what a nice day it was to go ogre killing."
Puss held his tongue for a moment, still contemplating on whether or not to eat the meal that had been graciously offered to him. "It was my job."
"Job? So…you're a hit man?"
"Si."
"Who sent you?"
Puss refused to answer at that point.
Fiona's gentle expression hardened. "It was Rumpel, wasn't it?" the ogress asked darkly. A knowing look flashed across the feline's face, which was all the answer she needed.
"Rumpel sent him?" a thundering voice interjected. Puss shot his attention over to the ogre who had entered the tent, who was no doubt twice the size of the ogress and certainly one of the biggest ogres Puss had seen.
"Brogan, quit spying on me."
"So it was you who kicked me?" Puss shouted angrily. The ogre turned sharply on the cat, taking a step towards him. "We can't risk him running back to Rumpel and telling him where we are."
Fiona quickly leapt in front of him, blocking his path. "Don't!"
"Fiona, we have to kill it! It's too risky!"
"No!"
"Look, I'll take him away from the camp so you don't have to see."
"I said no!"
Puss quickly seized the opportunity and rushed over to grab his sword, taking a fighting stance. "Just try to touch me and you shall be pulling back a nub!" he threatened. Brogan attempted to advance on the cat again, but Fiona was quick to urge him out of the tent.
"Don't! Let me talk to him!"
The larger ogre threw his hands up in defeat, shaking his head as he walked away. Fiona sighed, turning back to the cat. She studied him as she contemplated the options. She knew Brogan was right. If this cat managed to make it back to Rumpel, their whereabouts could easily be disclosed to him, but she knew she couldn't bring herself to harm a hair on his head. A hit man or not, it just seemed so…low to kill such a little creature.
The ogress's features contorted into an expression of turmoil. She hated the idea of killing the cat, but the safety of the Resistance rested in her hands.
"Well?" Puss asked after a long silence. "What do you plan to do with me?" he asked. Fiona looked at the creature, her heart wincing as she noted the fear in his voice, though she could tell he was trying his best not to show it.
"I…I don't know," she sighed. She began to pace the tent, running a hand through her hair. "Brogan has a point, and I'm responsible for everyone in this Resistance. Their safety rests on my shoulders."
Puss finally relaxed, putting away his sword, though he still kept his paw on the handle just in case. He had never met an ogre like this one. She contradicted every ogre stereotype known to man; the undeserved kindness she had shown him made him rethink his task. "So you don't wish to kill me…but you also need to protect your group." Puss sighed. "That doesn't seem like a fair decision."
Fiona continued to pace the floor, her hand grabbing a hold of a lock of hair as her head threatened to burst under the pressure of the decision she had to make.
Puss closed his eyes, feeling pity for the ogress. "There's a third option," he said quietly. Fiona stopped, turning to face him.
"What option?"
Puss slowly lifted his head to meet her gaze. "What if…I offered myself as a prisoner?"
Fiona's jaw dropped. "W-What? A prisoner?"
"Well, yes. This way, you don't have to worry about me giving away your location, and you don't have to kill me. It's the only way you can have it both ways."
Fiona continued to stare at the cat in shock. Was he being serious?
"I…can't believe you would be willing to do that. But why? Why would you even consider it?"
"Because…I attack you unprovoked, and yet instead of wishing to do harm to me, you take me in, treat my wounds and offer me food.. I therefore owe a debt of gratitude. It would go against my code of honor to not repay you for your kindness in some way." Puss suddenly pulled his sword from his belt and held the blade with his paw, turning the weapon sideways. "So…I give you my freedom," he said as he dropped the sword to the ground in a show of his sincerity.
"But…I don't know if I can do that."
"It's the best option you have."
"So…you really want me to put you in a cage?"
Puss shrugged. "It is up to you. Either a cage, or you could keep me chained to a post outside."
Fiona shook her head. "I still can't believe you'd even offer to do that."
"I have to repay you in some way. I could not live with myself if I didn't."
Fiona bit her lip, running a hand across the back of her neck. "I…I don't know. I can't even think about this right now. I need to get back to the group. I know they're expecting me."
"Then we can discuss everything further when you return. I'll remain here."
"But-"
"I won't run. I promise. You can even have someone stand guard if you wish."
"I…well, all right. I suppose." The ogress looked at the plate of untouched fish. "Well…aren't you going to eat?" she asked as she nodded to the plate. "It's getting cold."
Puss finally gave in, unable to ignore the offer any longer. He returned to the spot from which he had awoken and settled down in front of the plate to dig in. When he took the first bite, he quickly realized how hungry he was. He hadn't eaten all day; he had been too focused on locating the camp to worry about feeding. Within minutes, the fish were nothing more than bones. With his stomach full, Puss felt the first wave of fatigue hit him.
"All right, I'll be back before sunrise," Fiona said as she departed from the tent.
"Well?"
"Oh geez!" Fiona gasped as she stepped outside and noticed Brogan standing off to the side. She placed a hand over her chest, glaring up at the much larger ogre. "I thought you went back?"
"I've been out here waiting for you. You really think I was going to go back and leave you here alone with that psycho?"
Fiona rolled her eyes, brushing past the ogre. "I can take care of myself," she snapped. Brogan quickly caught up with her, walking at an even pace beside her.
"Did you get rid of it? I didn't really hear much in there."
"Clearly you need to practice your eavesdropping a little more. If you wanted to hear anything, you should have put your ear right up to the tent," the ogress replied sarcastically.
"Did you kill it?" Brogan pressed on.
"No."
The male blinked. "So…you tied him up, then, right?"
"No."
"What? You just left him in there? What if he runs?"
"He said he wouldn't."
"Oh well that changes everything! Everyone knows you can always trust a hit man!"
"He offered himself up as a prisoner."
The ogre paused. "Wait...what? A prisoner?"
"Yeah."
Brogan scratched his head, equally as dumbfounded as Fiona had been. "Okay…well, I guess that works. But from what I've seen, prisoners are typically locked up to where they can't escape," he replied, his sarcasm returning.
"I trust him."
"Why?"
"Because I know when someone's being sincere. It's like a sixth sense to me."
"Well, that's not good enough for me," Brogan replied firmly, turning to head back to Fiona's tent.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going to make sure he doesn't run."
Fiona reached out and grabbed his arm. "All right, fine, stand guard if you have to, but you better not harass him, and if I find out you touched him, I'll kick you into a tree, got it?"
"Yeah, yeah, I got it. I won't hurt your precious pet," said Brogan as he shrugged himself out of Fiona's grip and continued on towards her tent. The ogress sighed as she continued to make her way to the camp. Keeping the cat confined here alive was indeed a better option, but she wasn't sure if she could even lock him up, but the moment Brogan had referred to him as her 'pet', immediately she found herself pondering a new idea.
Author's Note: You know…I honestly would have liked it if Puss had played the Pied Piper's role in Shrek Forever After. I mean, it just seemed like such an obvious setup. Puss was an ogre hunter before he met Shrek, so then if he doesn't meet Shrek, you'd think he'd continue hunting ogres, and considering ogres are HUNTED in the alternate universe, it would seem like a more realistic scenario that Puss sort of becomes the villain. I think it would have been kick ass if Rumpel had hired Puss to hunt down Shrek and Fiona. But maybe the fans wouldn't have liked seeing an evil Puss. But I certainly would have enjoyed it!
Also part of the series:
"Anything for a Smile"
"Swear on Your Nine Lives"
The next chapter of "BtN" will probably be posted sometime around mid-July. I'm going to be busy for the next couple of weeks, so I'm not going to have time to do anything.