Author's Intro:
Ello, I'm Toast. This is my lovely little parody I wrote. I love DC, and I would never ever ever ever ever make fun of it...in a serious manner, anyway.
I use English names in the first two chapters for people who watched the dubbed version, and then I realize how dumb they sound, so I changed to the Japanese names in the third chapter.
I do NOT own Detective Conan or its characters.
And so the story begins...
BOOM!
Ms. Robinson hit the desk, waking the random girl who lay asleep at her desk.
Ms. Robinson: Raven! Wake up!
The girl arose, a lazy eye and drool on her face.
Raven: (Wiping off slobber and rubbing eye) Good lord, Ms. Robinson. Why do you have to be such a-
RING!
Raven: YES! FREEDOM! (Runs out of room)
: Ugh. (Sigh) I'm getting too old for this.
Raven, eighteen years of age, jumps in her car and speeds home. She shoves a CD in the CD player.
Raven: Ludo! Woo! (Singing along as she pulls up to her driveway.)
She runs in her mother's house, sets her backpack down, and gets on the computer.
Mother: Raven, what are you doing on the computer? I was on there.
Raven: Mom, talk to the hand, mmkay? I'm on MySpace.
Mother: No, get off it right now before I ground you!
Raven: Shmeh! (Closes out and gets off) I'm going to go get some better clothes on and go for a walk.
Mother: And you have to dress for a walk why?
Raven: Mom I told you I'm freakin' awesome. That's why. (Runs up stairs)
Mother: (Sigh.) Useless.
Raven goes to her closet. All she has are band shirts and somewhat tight jeans. Her being a tomboy, she had no tight shirts. They were all boy shirts, medium to small. Her long, dark brown hair was always in a ponytail, and she always wore a hat, backwards. The tall, skinny girl changed into something casual, thew on some shoes, and walked out.
Elsewhere...
Conan: OWWWWW!
Rachel: Aw, Conan. (Baby voice) put some pressure on it.
Richard: Rachel, don't be a baby to him.
Conan: It hurts, stupid glass cut my finger.
Rachel: Awwwwww!
Richard: Seriously? It's only a cut.
Rachel: Shut up dad he's just a kid!
Richard: More like an animal.
Rachel: You have no right calling him an animal! Animals live in rain forests dad! And you know what happens in rain forests? They get cut down! (hiss, growl)
Conan: (Cowers) Um...Rachel...
Rachel: WHAT? UGHHH (Stomps to room)
Richard and Conan: O.o...
Conan: Uh, what the hell.
Richard: Conan, language!
Conan: Sorry. What the crappin' hell?
Richard: Better.
Conan: Well SOMEONE is on their period this week.
Richard: Indeed. (Sips tea)
Conan feels bad for Rachel, he walks in her room and sees her writing in her diary while crying. He also sees pictures of him as his real self (Jimmy) all over her walls.
Conan: Um, Rachel, what's with the pictures on the wall? (Creeped out voice)
Rachel: (Snatching pictures off the wall) Um, what pictures? (Shifty eyes)
Conan: (Shrugs) Soooo what's wrong with you today? Did you learn about animal cruelty or something?
Rachel: No, I learned about drugs and alcohol.
Conan: Well that explains it.
Richard: Okay there's been a murder everyone get ready to randomly go out there when any other detective could do it but we happen to be like the only ones who get called and everything bad ALWAYS happens to us.
Conan: Didn't someone hire you?
Richard: Huh? What does that mean?
Conan: (Sigh) Nothing.
The three drive over to the murder scene. It's in a dark, creepy, scorn looking lakehouse in the middle of nowhere.
Conan: Wow, it's creepy here. Not a suprise someone was murdered.
They pull up to the lakehouse and park in a handicap spot.
Rachel: Um dad, isn't this illegal?
Richard: Now Rachel, what did I tell you? Do I ever seem like a man who cares about police? I'm a detective, hun.
Conan: (Rolls eyes and thinks in head) What a dumbsh-
Suddenly someone comes and busts a window out in their car.
Conan: HOLY COW!
Richard: (Gets out of car.) Buddy are you crazy? I have a badge, you better drop the bat and run far, far away.
Conan: Um, just arrest him. He broke in our window.
Guy runs away into the woods.
Rachel: Dad, why are you so stupid?
Richard: Huh?
Rachel: Nothing!
They walk out of the car and into the lakehouse. The people that live there greet them. They're all perfectly normal and casually dressed. But there is one different. One all dressed in black, with tight jeans and died black hair and a pale face.
Emo guy: Greetings, new comers.
Richard: Well hello strange dark emo kid.
Rachel: Father!
Richard: What?
Emo guy: Richard is your name right? You, your soul will burn in the fiery depths of hell. (Crazy psycho laugh with flames in background) Ahem..
Richard: ...Okay I think I just crapped myself.
Conan: (Creeped out) Eh, sooo, who got murdered?
The Mom: My son, my son was murdered. (sob, sob. cry, cry)
Conan: I'm sorry for your loss.
Emo guy: Want to come see my temple of death?
Conan: Uh, no thanks.
Annoying Cousin: Hey guys! Oh boy new people! Oh boy Richard Moore! Famous! Oh em gee! Mr. Moore I've always been a big fan of your work I study you everyday and have a poster on my wall of you I know you'll bring justice to my family and my shirt is plaid. I like it don't you?
Richard: ...
Conan: (sweat drop) Lets go to the temple, heh heh.
They walk over to the temple. There, in the temple, there is a well. There is no water, just a bunch of spider webs and dust. Conan and the others approach the well, and are quite frankly freaked out by the way it looks, as they wonder what it could be for.
Emo guy: This well is used for some crazy sh-
The Aunt: What are you doing in here?
Emo guy: I'm showing them my secret world transporting device. I mean my well.
The Aunt: Oh okay. (Walks off)
Elsewhere...
Raven is walking, very nonchalantly on the local sidewalk. Rubbing her chin as she thinks about why people in cartoons wear the same thing everyday.
Raven: Hmm, they must have several pairs. (Shrugs) Well, anyways. (looking around) doesn't look like anything bad or out of the ordinary is going to happen today. Nope, not at all. Everything is going to be just perfect today. No crazy weird teleporting. I am just so happy to live in America. (smile)
Suddenly she approaches a well.
Raven: Oh my gosh, it is a well. I wonder what it is for. Maybe I should go check it out. (stupid, robotic tone to her voice)
She goes towards the well, looking into it. She notices nothing is in there. She thought to herself, after watching previous episodes of InuYasha, that maybe the well will lead somewhere.
Raven: What's life without risks?
She jumps in falling towards the bottom. She hits the bottom, landing on her feet and then falls to the ground.
Raven: Ow crap that hurt. It didn't work! Dang, I'm stupid. (Looks around, and sees a button that says "Press to go to different world.") Ah! I see! Heh.. (Presses)
Then, a bright light comes out of both wells. What could possibly be happening? What could possibly be going wrong? Why aren't the wells full with water? Who was stupid enough to jump into a water well to figure it out? Find out in the next chapter!