Disclaimer: I do not own Supergirl

Author's Notes: Late on my slam submission, lost my job Tuesday, I'm in an angsty mood. Sorry in advance. Sorry also if it's a little lacking in substance. This is by far not my best work, but I can't figure out how to expand further right now.

Dear Diary,

It has been a full year since her death. Why is this day so accursed and filled with turmoil? Why do I have to watch the ones I love die?

I don't know how I have survived this long. But no, no I could never take my own life, that is not who I am, that is one of the first promises I made her, one of the promises I've made everyone in my life. Thankfully, there will be Kal for many, many years to come. And I can watch little Jaime and her legacy, and Carter's continued growth, not to mention my precious little Kairi. Is it favoritism to say she is the light in my life right now? I know she may not live as long as Kal and I considering she is only half Kryptonian but Alex is confident that she will have a more extended life than expected. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone but I will be with her for as long as I can manage to stave off the loneliness in both our hearts.

Eliza suggested I keep a journal in order to share my story, to properly recount my adventures, my life, the lives of those around me. It won't be particularly unbiased and objective but perhaps this will lend a nice balance to being a reporter. She left the company in Carter's name, in Kairi's too, but I sense it isn't the life Carter wishes and have stepped up in his absence for the time being. If he defers to his baby sister, I will take over until she decides, if she even wants that responsibility when she's older.

Astra died on this day. So long ago now it seems.

I hardly recall the anger I once held for J'onn and then Alex after that loss, which I suppose is a testament to the strength of our bond, our relationships. I have improved remarkably in my ability to forgive and forget, to heal from my wounds and mend my relationships. I love Alex more now than ever and J'onn has an integral part in my and my family's life. He's Kairi's godfather and I've never seen him more happy to babysit, enjoying playing with our new super powered addition. It is a relief to know J'onn will be around for as many, maybe even more, years as I, but the thought of losing my human family is heart achingly painful.

It's getting hard daily to be my same old positive, hopeful self but everyone surrounds me with such love and comfort that it helps dull the ache, distracts me and keeps me focused on the task at hand. Support systems are so important, especially for children.

I lost our first child on this day, foolishly believing I could handle that alien on my own.

Despite everyone's wishes, everyone's concern I still stepped into the fray, nearly losing my own life as well. Needless to say I didn't quite get the reprimand I was expecting when all was said and done, the anguish too apparent for even her to chastise me. I saw the brief looks, fear for my life, for being reckless, but always interlaced with compassion and sympathy. We survived and healed, Kairi coming along a few years later, luckily avoiding this cursed day.

And now our precious baby girl is growing up so fast. Faster than I ever could have imagined. She's the perfect big cousin to Jaime, taking her self imposed responsibility very seriously. This little family of mine has shrunk and expanded and traveled over hot coals so many times yet here we remain, just as strong and loving as we could hope for. I never thought I would have this after losing my planet, have this found family growing so large over the years. El Mayara.

Cat Grant's legacy will live on in the lives of her sons and daughters: Adam, Carter, Kairi, and now little four month old Katie.

Kara Zor-El Danvers-Grant

P.S.- I hate Valentine's Day.