He embraced her as they fell into the pillowy softness that was his bed. He clung to her like at any moment she was going to be ripped from his sinewy arms. He stroked her soft brown hair, hoping to calm her fears that she was at fault for the death of her intern. How had he ended up where he was in that moment? Why was Seeley Booth holding the one and only Temperance Brennan, in all places his bed? This woman, who he has loved consistently, even with the addition of a girlfriend and after the subsequent break-up, has been his metaphoric rock through everything and now she needed him to be her metaphoric rock.
Temperance Brennan felt people viewed her as cold, calculating and heartless, a lot like the criminals she helped catch each and every day. Booth knew the truth of her though and he was dazzled by it. He saw past the wall she put up to protect herself. He saw her beauty, inner and outer. He saw past the facade of hardness she displayed. He saw the true her. He only wished he could help her see that she wasn't the person she thought she was. She was so much more than just a genius brain with oodles of information. She was everything to him.
As the tears fell, staining his dark t-shirt an almost black color, she buried her face into his chest. She kept imagining how the days events could have ended differently. Booth could have been the one who was dead. What would that have meant for Brennan? What would she have said in his final moments to convey the depth of her feelings for him? Would she let her fear of letting him in block her from telling the truth, even if it meant he would have died never knowing? She couldn't allow herself to hide behind logic and science, because what she feels, what she has always felt, never made logical sense. She couldn't understand why her heart palpitated when he was near or why whenever he smiled her stomach fluttered. There just wasn't a logical reason her body should be reacting the way it did when she was around Booth, that is until she allowed herself to reason that love is a very real thing and the feelings and physical cues logically pointed to love. As Mark Twain once said, "When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain." She couldn't use her brain to explain away these feelings because the brain isn't meant for feelings, it was her metaphoric heart that was the secret to her feelings. Booth was the heart, she was the brain, that was how it always was with them. The close encounter in losing Booth made her quickly realize that she couldn't always use her brain as something to hide behind. Booth was infiltrating her soul and her beliefs about love being ephemeral. She was realizing it wasn't something short-lived because if it were then she wouldn't still have the same feelings that she has had since the beginning of their partnership. She was no longer impervious. She was strong, she always had been. She was a scientist, but she was also in love.
She gripped his shirt in her hand and let out one final sob. "Booth, it could have been you. It could have been you who was shot." Brennan finally said.
"But it wasn't me, so let's not dwell on that." Booth said, trying to comfort her by rubbing his hands over her back and shoulders. "Bones, it wasn't me."
"I can't help but think that if it were you, what would I have said to convey everything I want to tell you, everything I need to tell you and everything I'm afraid to tell you? I don't think I could have lived with myself if you didn't know everything."
"Bones, it wasn't me, you still have time to tell me everything. Broadsky didn't get me, he won't get me. You still have time."
"But Booth, what if we don't? What if Broadsky kills you tomorrow? What if I miss my chance to tell you again?"
"Then tell me now. Tell me everything you want to tell me, need to tell me and are afraid to tell me. We still have time. It's not to late, Bones. I'm still here. We are both still here."
Brennan's chest tightened, her heart sped and her breathing became shallow and quick. "I don't know how my words can possibly express all that needs to be said."
"Start small then." Booth said, trying to encourage her to go on.
Brennan paused for a second and sucked in a breath, she refused to look him in the eye, afraid she would lose her nerve. "Small. Okay, well you mean a lot to me, Booth. I don't know how I could have made it through these last seven years without you. You are so much more than my partner. You are my friend and your friendship has given me much comfort through some very difficult times in my life. I can never thank you enough for all that you have given me." Brennan stopped, hoping to gain some courage to continue and say what really needed to be said. "I'm no longer impervious. I'm open to the possibility of thirty or forty or even fifty years. While it terrifies me to put certainty into the future, especially when we don't know what will come, I feel I'm not nearly as afraid as I thought I would be if I know I'm going to be with you. It terrifies me that I have grown to need you as much as I have, but I don't think I can imagine it any other way. I need you Booth, more than I have ever needed anyone." Brennan finally got up the nerve to look Booth in the eye. He had a somber look as the levity of the conversation sunk in.
"Bones, I'm not angry anymore and I find myself needing you like oxygen. You are the sky, the sun, the moon, the stars all wrapped into one. Essentially, you are my universe."
"What about the dark matter?" Bones asked, earnestly.
"I don't know what that means."
"You can't have the universe without the dark matter, Booth. It makes up most of the universe."
"Okay the dark matter too, you make up everything the universe makes up because you mean everything to me." Booth quickly said before she started talking squinty.
Brennan smiled contently, sniffling slightly from her earlier crying. She nestled her nose into his neck and breathed in his rich, natural scent. She lifted her head again to look him in the eye. "Booth, I can't go another day without you knowing this." she paused, getting up the nerve to say the words she never said to anyone before. "Booth, I love you." the words came out so effortlessly that it surprised her.
Booth smiled and brought his hand to caress her cheek. "Bones, I love you too."
Relief washed over her face. She didn't realize how scared she was about him possibly not feeling the same way until her stomach stopped clenching. Brennan smiled at him once more before she slowly brought her lips to meet his. They created enough electricity to power a small Minnesotan city in just one kiss. Brennan brought her hand up to his face in an attempt to deepen the kiss.
"I love you, Bones." Booth whispered when they broke apart. "I always have and always will."
Brennan laid her head back on his shoulder and snuggled into him, "Thank you for being my dark matter." Brennan said, almost incoherently as she drifted off to sleep.
A/N: The "sky, the sun, the moon, the stars" comment is a take on a song lyric that I recently posted on my Facebook. My astronomer friend then commented about dark matter which then prompted me to incorporate it into my story.