Time is a funny thing
Author: Moggie
Pairing: G/S Category: Spiritual, drama, angst Rating: PG-13 Summary: Sara's in hospital after being shot in the chest by a suspect. Grissom was working with her and while she's in hospital, all sorts of things happen. Time is a funny thing. Spoilers: None Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
Monitors, breathing machines, nurses, doctors, family and friends, filled the small room. All he wanted to do, was be alone with her. She never liked crowds and just because she was unconscious, didn't mean she couldn't have her personal space. He stood outside the door, waiting for doctors and nurses to finish talking to her parents. Friends stood by and listened, all the while, he stood and watched helplessly.
It was all his fault.
Turning quietly, he started walking away. His head down and his hands deep in his coat pockets. He didn't hear the voice calling after him at first, but once stopped at the elevator, he felt a hand on his arm. Turning slowly, he couldn't even look them in the eye.
The older woman squeezed her arm and leaned up to place a soft kiss on his cheek. "It wasn't your fault." She whispered.
He didn't say anything, didn't agree or disagree. She wasn't there, no one was, but the two of them. He entered the elevator when the doors opened. "I'm sorry Mrs. Sidle." He said, the fist words he'd spoken in hours.
Mrs. Sidle watched as the doors closed. Her tears streaming down her cheeks as she saw the pain in his eyes. Something hit her heart and she was hurting for two now. She saw what lied behind those blue eyes and brought her hand up to cover her lips as she hiccuped.
Strong arms enveloped her and she leaned into the warmth. Mr. Sidle had seen what just happened and knew their daughter was loved by many and meant more to one person and the rest. They went back to sit beside their daughter and wait for her to wake.
That could be anytime.
The team left, but Mrs. Sidle reached out and grasped a hand that stopped one from leaving. After the room had only four left, she stood. "You need to find him." She whispered.
"Who?" The voice asked confused.
Mrs. Sidle wiped her tears away. "Your boss Miss Willows."
Catherine's eyes widened as she gasped. "Oh my god!" Catherine sat down. "I completely forgot. Oh no!"
Mr. Sidle placed a hand on his wife's shoulder. "He left before the doctors explained about Sara's condition."
"He's not taking it well." Mrs. Sidle added.
Catherine nodded. "Yes, I'm not surprised. They were working together. He's probably blaming himself."
Mrs. Sidle stopped Catherine before she could continue. "No, you don't understand."
Looking at the two carefully, she looked over at the prone form in the hospital bed. Catherine nodded slowly and stood. "I'll find him." She whispered and left quietly.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
The rain was pounding down on his body. He didn't care that he was soaked to the bone. He stood and stared at the building. It didn't have to be like this, surely it didn't.
He leaned back against his car, hands in his pockets, head up against the falling rain. His eyes closed as the memories came flooding back.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
"Print the table and the doorframe." He order and walked out the room. He'd been trying to avoid a confrontation for weeks now and when Catherine and Nick hadn't finished there case, Warrick went to help. That left Sara sitting in the break room with her nose in a book, oblivious, or so he thought, to the blue eyes on her. Then a break in case came in and that left the pair to work it.
Looking around the house, he came upon a bag in the dining room. It was the stolen money, jewellery and light electronic equipment the owner of the house owned. "Sara!" He called.
"Yeah?" She came around the corner and saw the bag. She got to work while he stepped back and watched her from the kitchen. "Something interesting you Grissom, or are you staring a hole in my back for a reason?" She asked quietly.
He was startled that she'd noticed and looked down at his feet. "Did you finish printing the living room?" He asked, ignoring her own question.
"Wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't." She answered softly.
They were just looking around the bedrooms when Sara bumped into Grissom as she tried to step around him. Grissom looked down at her hand on his arm before looking into her eyes. Brown and blue were entering the battlefield of emotions when Grissom pulled away abruptly, her hand falling heavily to her side. She licked her lips in frustration and turned to leave.
BANG!
It sounded less like a bang, more like a pop, but it got his attention. Swinging on the heels of his feet, he saw the back of Sara's form. She was holding onto the doorframe, looking closer, he could see her knuckles turning white.
He found himself moving closer when she didn't move. Like slow motion she started to fall. Grissom caught her as she fell to the ground.
His eyes on the doorway. He saw nothing, no one was there.
Looking down, he looked into her brown eyes as she stared into his. He saw tears form as she lay, unable to move. His eyes fell on the redness that started seeping through her shirt. He found her eyes again, his were dark with wetness as he placed his hand over the wound.
The police officer outside had heard the gunshot and was now standing in the hallway to the room where Sara now lay in Grissom's arms. The officer rang for an ambulance and searched the house.
Sara's eyes never left his. Time stood still as they got lost in their own world. Just the two remain. No words, nothing. His hand felt warm, coated with her blood, but her body was starting to cool.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Blinking the tears back futilely, he swallowed hard and entered the house. Walking up the stairs, he stood in the hallway. Blood covered the carpet of the bedroom, her blood. He shivered as coldness ran through his already cold body.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Sara's body felt light. She could hear people talking, beeping, and crying. One minute she was leaving the bedroom and the next she couldn't see anything but pained blue. Tears formed in her eyes, but no one seemed to notice.
Now she was standing on a cold floor, looking at someone in a hospital bed. The person looked so pale and small. Machines hooked up and two people sat either side of the bed, holding the small hands. Then she noticed them, they were her parents. She tried to ask them what was going on, but no words came. Looking back at the form in the bed, she gasped when she recognised who it was.
It was her.
A breeze came suddenly and her hair was flying in the wind. Darkness was around her and it was hard to see. She turned and saw someone leaning against a car. They looked so sad, not sad, more pained than sad.
The rain was falling, but she didn't seem to feel it, or get wet. It seemed to go straight through her. Looking over at the person again, she noticed them walking up a path towards a building. A familiar building.
Not knowing what to do, she followed them. When they stopped at the top of the stairs, she saw who it was. Reaching out, her hand went straight through him. Tears collected in her eyes when she realised what was happening. She was now scared.
Through the tears, she looked up and came in contact with the same pained blue. He looked through her, then closed his eyes and sniffled.
She couldn't be dead, could she? Reaching out again, she tried to touch his face, but he started moving. A rush of air pulled at her and she was in a dim room, her room. Her parents were there still. Talking softly to her, but she couldn't make out the words.
Tiredness claimed her as she soon faded into nothing and warmth covered her whole body.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Catherine knocked on his door for the sixth time. Raising her hand of the seventh time, she stopped in mid-air as footsteps came up behind her. She turned and recognised who it was. "Gil, where have you been?"
Grissom walked past her and unlocked his door. "Walking." He answered.
"I can see that, where?" She followed him into the kitchen where he turned the coffee maker on. "Gil?" She pressed.
"Around." He left the room and changed out of his wet clothes. When he came back, Catherine had made two coffees and pushed one towards him. "Thank you." Taking the cup, he sat down on the couch.
"I just came from the hospital." She watched as he stopped from lifting the cup to his lips briefly before continuing. "You left." He nodded and set his cup on the coffee table. "Why?" Catherine asked softly, she also put her cup on the table.
He shrugged sadly. "I was in the way."
Catherine looked at him carefully as he stared across the room. "Gil?"
Grissom turned his head to looked at her. "Yes?"
She watched his eyes as he broke eye contact, then made it again, only to break it and look away. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"What?" He asked, standing and moving to the window, overlooking the street.
"About what happened?" She asked gently, sitting back slightly.
"What's there to talk about. I messed up and one of my CSI's got shot." His voice was distant.
Catherine watched his shoulders slump further as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "How did you mess you up?" Her words were soft, not pushing.
His head dropped as his hands pushed into his pants pockets. "I let myself get distracted."
Pushing her shoes off and bringing her feet under her, Catherine cleared her throat softly. "Distracted in what way?"
Grissom watched the clouds drift away and the rain with it as he whispered. "She distracted me."
Smiling faintly, Catherine reached for her coffee and drank some. "Sara?"
He nodded and turned to her. "If she didn't.If I." He stammered and turned back to the window. Catherine waited for him to continue. Grissom touched the glass and traced the droplets still running down the window pane. "Thinking about it would hurt us, I mean her and me. I can't let that happen."
Catherine didn't understand and she wasn't going to let him continue until he had explained it. "Gil?" He turned to her and walked back to the couch when she patted the cushions. "Start from the beginning or tell me something to make me understand."
Grissom nodded and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "I tried so hard to forget, but seeing her everyday." He paused and took a deep breath. "We were looking upstairs. The bedroom at the top of the stairs was the last we looked in. She moved out of the way and the next minute her hands on my arm and I couldn't look away."
Moving to sit beside him, Catherine gently rubbed his back when his breathing started coming in short gasps. "Go on."
"I don't know, I suddenly felt I should be as far away as possible and pulled away more harshly than intended." Dropping his head into his hands, he let the tears come again. "I turned away. I heard a gunshot and when I turned." He wiped his tears away and breathed in shakily. "She stood so still, her knuckles so white as they gripped the doorframe. I caught her before she hit the ground." He looked up and into Catherine's eyes, she was crying too, but saw something she'd never seen in his eyes before. fear and pain. "No words, no time, no blood." Grissom hiccuped and Catherine pulled him close to her. "Then it wouldn't stop, the blood wouldn't stop. I tried, but I couldn't stop it. Her eyes looked so helpless. I looked into her eyes and saw everything."
Catherine understood now and knew she shouldn't say anything, so she changed the subject slightly. "Did you see the shooter?"
"No!" He exclaimed as his whole body shook with uncontrollable sobs.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Time.
The clock in the room was broken, had to be.
The room was quiet.
No one but the body in the bed was occupying it.
Tick Tock
Ok, the clock wasn't broken.
Sara sighed and grimaced as she looked up at the ceiling. Her chest was sore and her breathing was laboured. A minute ago, she could swear her parents were here, but now she was alone and she was in the bed and not looking down on it. She closed her eyes as strange thoughts, like dreams drifted through her mind. None of it made sense, so she breathed out a shaky breath and grimaced at the pain that coursed through her chest. Her hand came up to lay across her heart and she attempted to rub the pain away, but stopped when it made the pain worse. She groaned and the tears started trickling down her cheeks.
She couldn't reach the call button, her arms felt weak and her head was foggy with the drugs being fed into her system. Her left hand immobile by the drip line. Inhaling very slowly, she opened her eyes and although it still hurt, it was less painful than before.
Hours went by as the clock told her. It flicked the large hand over the 12 and the little hand hovered the 11. It was dark outside the window and the hallway couldn't be seen from her position on the bed. The door was closed, she knew that by the muffled sounds of activity. Even this late and the hospital was fairly busy.
Closing her eyes again, she tried to remember for the hundredth time, what happened?
A case
Silence
Hard tones
Unsettled air
Tension
A bang
Sara opened her eyes and realised she'd fallen asleep as she startled awake and nearly shot up straight, only to fall back and groan loudly in pain. Weren't nurses supposed to check on patients? She wondered angrily as she clutched her chest and lightly sobbed into her pillow. She reached for the call button again, but it was a futile attempt.
A shadow formed on the floor, then over her. Sara turned her head and opened her eyes to see her parents smiling down at her. They called for the nurse when they noticed the discomfort and gently soothed the pain away with distractions of love and soft soothing words.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Sara was sent home a week after being shot. She was to take three weeks off work and take things very easy the whole time. If there were any problems, she was to contact the doctor immediately. Her parents stayed with her for a week to help her get settled.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Things were quiet when she opened the locker room door. She wasn't early, but she wasn't late either. She knew Nick was working tonight, but Warrick was not. They both came to see her and help out, just as Catherine did. They talked and joked, careful not to aggravate Sara's chest. She was still a little wheezy if she got too excited and everyone did there best to avoid anything two stressing.
Walking down the hallway, she talked with Greg and the other lab techs. They came out of their labs to see how she was doing and welcomed her back. She smiled and did her best to not get too worked up.
Stopping in the break room, she leaned against the table as she took a few deep breathes. She could feel the tightening of her ribcage and closed her eyes as she rubbed her scar. Standing by the coffee pot, she poured a cup, with her hand still on her chest. She took a sip as she turned and stopped when she saw who was standing in the doorway.
Grissom stood, staring at her with not emotion, no expression, nothing. His hand held a file, most likely assignments and the other was at his side. He wore a baggy black shirt with making slacks and his glasses were perched on his nose.
Sara put her coffee down on the table and sat down slowly, her eyes dropping from his to her hands. She had pushed the coffee away, loosing interest in it.
He didn't move for a minute, but looked down at the floor as Catherine and Nick walked in talking about a dead body being found on the bleachers at the ice rink. It was all over the news.
They sat down next to Sara and gave her and light hug, knowing she didn't like being hugged too tight. Grissom approached the table and opened the file quietly as he change the mental plan of attack he had already prepared. He didn't know Sara was coming back yet. He'd been told she was coming back next week. It had only been two weeks and a day since she let the hospital.
Nick grinned at his smash and grab solo case and darted out the door. Catherine and Sara grabbed their kits and headed for the parking lot.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Sara looked up at the bleachers. She took the steps slowly as she climbed the 30 odd steps to the body. Catherine was already up there and photographing the body.
Reaching the 24 step, Sara stopped and sat down. She stared at her feet as she took slow deep breaths. Getting ready to stand again, she felt a hand on her shoulder, holding her down. She looked up as Grissom moved in front of her and crouched down.
"You ok?" He asked quietly.
Sara sighed. "I'm-" She stopped when he gave her a stern look. "I'm tired, that's all."
"You weren't suppose to come back until next week Sara." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small plastic bottle. "Take one now and another in 4 hours. It'll help the constriction in your chest."
Sara took the bottle and read the label. Grissom stood and walked up the bleaches towards Catherine. Reading the label again, she noticed it was in her name. Some comfort came from that, but she couldn't keep the feeling that he'd not seen her in three weeks and not even asked after her. The others told her he was quiet and working all hours so he couldn't visit, but they all knew she knew it was a lie.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Greg handed Sara the DNA results and watched as she turned, already absorbing the information. He grinned and turned back to work on Nick's case.
Sara found Catherine and reeled off the results as she entered the layout room. "One match and two unknowns. The victim, Josh Manning was bleeding all over the place. I found blood at the bottom of the bleachers and a trail all the way to the top. Also two unknowns, also trailing in the same direction." Sara sat down and took a deep breath. She placed the prints out on the table and studied them further, while Catherine went through the vics clothing.
"I've got blood, but only the vics. The other two must have been injured during a fight or something." Catherine said a loud.
Sara nodded, but didn't agree. "I was thinking more along the lines that the vic was killed first and the other two went at each other."
Grissom looked up from the autopsy report and stared across the table, thinking over Sara's theory. "Then there's another body out there."
Sara bit her lip and narrowed her eyes. "A lot of blood was found that CODIS didn't have a name for. The missing link must have lost some where near 5 to 6 pints of blood. It was spread across the bleachers and down the far steps." She reached across the table and winced as she pulled a pile of crime scene photo's towards her.
Checking her watch, she pulled out the pill bottle and took another one without water. She stared at the photo's and arranged about 8 in front of her. Grissom watched what she was doing and moved to stand beside her. He pointed to the blood trail. "It leads to the ice, but no more blood was found, just the puddle."
Catherine raised her eyebrows as she shone a maglite through the vics shirt. "Maybe missing link number 3 took the body." Sara looked up at her as Grissom did and both stared at her in deep thought. Catherine felt their eyes and looked up, clearly freaked by the same look they gave her. "What?" She asked.
Grissom grabbed a magnifying glass and looked closer at the photo. "A faint trail leads to the door." He said quietly and lowered the glass to the table. "Sara." He started walking to the door. "Cath, wait for tox to come back and page me if Doc Robbins finds anything else." With that said, he disappeared.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Sara stood, looking over the ice and followed the lines of the frozen court. One body found a half mile from the building. Matched the DNA found on the bleachers and AFIS gave them a name, John King. Brass was looking for King's brother. They share a flat and seeing as no brother was found, Catherine ran King's DNA against the unknown and discovered markers that told them Missing link number 1 was King's brother. They had no name, he had no criminal record and the police were out looking for him. Manning and King were linked together as friends. The theory is, the brothers was meeting Manning and something went wrong. Manning was killed first, but not before fighting back. The brothers start arguing about what they just did and turn against each other, but that's where the case goes cold. No more links, no more leads to follow. Dead end until the missing brother is found.
Now it was past midnight and Sara found herself sitting on the tenth bleacher from the ice level. The exact same position she sat in a few years before. Watching her breath float away with the cold, she stood and walked to the ice. She took a tentative step onto the frozen water and smiled as she gripped with her toes. She walked towards the middle and looked up at the lights. It was dark in the large building, but a few headlights were shinning dimly.
Grissom watched from the corner of the arena as she tucked her hands into her pockets and started walked in no particular pattern, around the ice.
"No set path." He said, startling Sara.
She turned and watched as he walked towards her. "No set path?" She asked confused.
He nodded. "Walking around in no pattern. No set path."
Sara continued to stand as he stopped in front of her. His head down and his arms at his sides, trying to keep balance. She observed his stance for a few seconds and noticed him wobble. "When was the last time you stood unsteadily?" She asked curiously as his arms wavered slightly.
"Every time I see you." He answered so softly Sara strained to hear. Grissom raised his head from watching his feet and swayed slightly.
Sara took at step forward and pulled her hands from her pockets to grasp his arm. He turned to face her completely and grasped her upper arm. His eyes came up and lock with hers. She didn't want to look away, but had to when he stepped closer and slipped. Her hands grabbed his jacket as his gabbed hers and both went down like a tone of bricks. Grissom wrapped his arms around Sara to soften the fall as she landed on him.
"God Sara, I'm sorry. You ok?" His arms held her tightly as his breathe blew at her hair in his rush of words.
She smiled down at him and shrugged. "Think so." She took a shallow breath and tilted her head. "What's wrong?"
Grissom furrowed his brows at her. "I don't understand."
Looking into his eyes before drifting over the rest of his face, she spoke softly. "A few weeks ago I was shot. I don't see you." She winced.
Grissom panicked and rolled them so Sara was beneath him. "What's wrong? Is it your chest?"
Sara looked at his concern with confusion. "I asked you a question." She pointed out. "Did I do something wrong?"
He shook his head slowly. "Of course not, what gave you that idea?"
"Perhaps the idea came from not seeing you when I was in hospital, at home or any other time. No phone call to check up on me, nothing. I must have done something for you to ignore me." She said on a few short gasps.
Grissom looked at her and realised he was in a very unprofessional position with a fellow co-worker. He gave her the same look he gave her the night she got shot and he watched as her eyes saddened and she pushed him away from her as she climbed to her feet. "Forget it." She whispered and slowly walked to the exit.
Trying not to fall, Grissom got to his feet and followed her. His heart was pounding in his chest. Once on solid concrete he stopped. "It's my fault."
Sara stopped walking, but didn't turn. "Don't be stupid."
He took a few steps and stood a foot behind her. "If I was concentrating, none of this would have happened."
"You were concentrating, that's why you didn't hear anything. It's my fault. I shouldn't have." She dropped her head.
"At that time, the crime scene was not even close to being on my mind. I was distracted, but not by the crime scene." He admitted, hearing her put the blame on herself.
She turned, but didn't look at him. "I shouldn't have brought personal stuff to work. I'm sorry and it got me shot. It's my fault for not being careful."
Grissom's eyes lowered to her hand as she rubbed the scar. He reached out and took her hand, pulling it away and holding it in both his. "My fault, your fault. The scene was not secure. That's the police's job and they put us in danger. I put you in danger by being angry and cold toward you. In return, I made you angry and cold toward me."
Sara nodded and looked up. "It won't happen again. I'm sorry."
She pulled her hands from his, but Grissom pulled her against him. "It won't happen again Sara, but I'm sorry too and not just for what happened, all the other times." He buried his nose in her hair as they fed of each others body heat in the cold iced arena.
"Why didn't you come and see me?" She whispered into his ear.
Grissom closed his eyes tight as tears threatened to escape. "I was scared you wouldn't make it and that everyone would blame me. It wasn't just you, it was everyone." His truthful words brought tears to her eyes.
"You saved me." She whispered, turning her head to place a soft kiss on his cheek. "If you weren't there, I'd be dead."
Grissom pulled her tighter as he pulled his head back and gaze into her eyes. "If you weren't in my life, I'd be dead." He dipped his head and brushed his lips with hers.
THE END
(Ah. so sad, then upsetting, sniffling stage, another box of tissues, angst and happiness. Nothing like a good teary story. I'm sorry if I'm costing you money in tissues, but it's just what happens to appear from my mind, onto the computer. Bearing in mind, I cry too, so your not alone. Lol. Hope you enjoyed it.)
Author: Moggie
Pairing: G/S Category: Spiritual, drama, angst Rating: PG-13 Summary: Sara's in hospital after being shot in the chest by a suspect. Grissom was working with her and while she's in hospital, all sorts of things happen. Time is a funny thing. Spoilers: None Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
Monitors, breathing machines, nurses, doctors, family and friends, filled the small room. All he wanted to do, was be alone with her. She never liked crowds and just because she was unconscious, didn't mean she couldn't have her personal space. He stood outside the door, waiting for doctors and nurses to finish talking to her parents. Friends stood by and listened, all the while, he stood and watched helplessly.
It was all his fault.
Turning quietly, he started walking away. His head down and his hands deep in his coat pockets. He didn't hear the voice calling after him at first, but once stopped at the elevator, he felt a hand on his arm. Turning slowly, he couldn't even look them in the eye.
The older woman squeezed her arm and leaned up to place a soft kiss on his cheek. "It wasn't your fault." She whispered.
He didn't say anything, didn't agree or disagree. She wasn't there, no one was, but the two of them. He entered the elevator when the doors opened. "I'm sorry Mrs. Sidle." He said, the fist words he'd spoken in hours.
Mrs. Sidle watched as the doors closed. Her tears streaming down her cheeks as she saw the pain in his eyes. Something hit her heart and she was hurting for two now. She saw what lied behind those blue eyes and brought her hand up to cover her lips as she hiccuped.
Strong arms enveloped her and she leaned into the warmth. Mr. Sidle had seen what just happened and knew their daughter was loved by many and meant more to one person and the rest. They went back to sit beside their daughter and wait for her to wake.
That could be anytime.
The team left, but Mrs. Sidle reached out and grasped a hand that stopped one from leaving. After the room had only four left, she stood. "You need to find him." She whispered.
"Who?" The voice asked confused.
Mrs. Sidle wiped her tears away. "Your boss Miss Willows."
Catherine's eyes widened as she gasped. "Oh my god!" Catherine sat down. "I completely forgot. Oh no!"
Mr. Sidle placed a hand on his wife's shoulder. "He left before the doctors explained about Sara's condition."
"He's not taking it well." Mrs. Sidle added.
Catherine nodded. "Yes, I'm not surprised. They were working together. He's probably blaming himself."
Mrs. Sidle stopped Catherine before she could continue. "No, you don't understand."
Looking at the two carefully, she looked over at the prone form in the hospital bed. Catherine nodded slowly and stood. "I'll find him." She whispered and left quietly.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
The rain was pounding down on his body. He didn't care that he was soaked to the bone. He stood and stared at the building. It didn't have to be like this, surely it didn't.
He leaned back against his car, hands in his pockets, head up against the falling rain. His eyes closed as the memories came flooding back.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
"Print the table and the doorframe." He order and walked out the room. He'd been trying to avoid a confrontation for weeks now and when Catherine and Nick hadn't finished there case, Warrick went to help. That left Sara sitting in the break room with her nose in a book, oblivious, or so he thought, to the blue eyes on her. Then a break in case came in and that left the pair to work it.
Looking around the house, he came upon a bag in the dining room. It was the stolen money, jewellery and light electronic equipment the owner of the house owned. "Sara!" He called.
"Yeah?" She came around the corner and saw the bag. She got to work while he stepped back and watched her from the kitchen. "Something interesting you Grissom, or are you staring a hole in my back for a reason?" She asked quietly.
He was startled that she'd noticed and looked down at his feet. "Did you finish printing the living room?" He asked, ignoring her own question.
"Wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't." She answered softly.
They were just looking around the bedrooms when Sara bumped into Grissom as she tried to step around him. Grissom looked down at her hand on his arm before looking into her eyes. Brown and blue were entering the battlefield of emotions when Grissom pulled away abruptly, her hand falling heavily to her side. She licked her lips in frustration and turned to leave.
BANG!
It sounded less like a bang, more like a pop, but it got his attention. Swinging on the heels of his feet, he saw the back of Sara's form. She was holding onto the doorframe, looking closer, he could see her knuckles turning white.
He found himself moving closer when she didn't move. Like slow motion she started to fall. Grissom caught her as she fell to the ground.
His eyes on the doorway. He saw nothing, no one was there.
Looking down, he looked into her brown eyes as she stared into his. He saw tears form as she lay, unable to move. His eyes fell on the redness that started seeping through her shirt. He found her eyes again, his were dark with wetness as he placed his hand over the wound.
The police officer outside had heard the gunshot and was now standing in the hallway to the room where Sara now lay in Grissom's arms. The officer rang for an ambulance and searched the house.
Sara's eyes never left his. Time stood still as they got lost in their own world. Just the two remain. No words, nothing. His hand felt warm, coated with her blood, but her body was starting to cool.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Blinking the tears back futilely, he swallowed hard and entered the house. Walking up the stairs, he stood in the hallway. Blood covered the carpet of the bedroom, her blood. He shivered as coldness ran through his already cold body.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Sara's body felt light. She could hear people talking, beeping, and crying. One minute she was leaving the bedroom and the next she couldn't see anything but pained blue. Tears formed in her eyes, but no one seemed to notice.
Now she was standing on a cold floor, looking at someone in a hospital bed. The person looked so pale and small. Machines hooked up and two people sat either side of the bed, holding the small hands. Then she noticed them, they were her parents. She tried to ask them what was going on, but no words came. Looking back at the form in the bed, she gasped when she recognised who it was.
It was her.
A breeze came suddenly and her hair was flying in the wind. Darkness was around her and it was hard to see. She turned and saw someone leaning against a car. They looked so sad, not sad, more pained than sad.
The rain was falling, but she didn't seem to feel it, or get wet. It seemed to go straight through her. Looking over at the person again, she noticed them walking up a path towards a building. A familiar building.
Not knowing what to do, she followed them. When they stopped at the top of the stairs, she saw who it was. Reaching out, her hand went straight through him. Tears collected in her eyes when she realised what was happening. She was now scared.
Through the tears, she looked up and came in contact with the same pained blue. He looked through her, then closed his eyes and sniffled.
She couldn't be dead, could she? Reaching out again, she tried to touch his face, but he started moving. A rush of air pulled at her and she was in a dim room, her room. Her parents were there still. Talking softly to her, but she couldn't make out the words.
Tiredness claimed her as she soon faded into nothing and warmth covered her whole body.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Catherine knocked on his door for the sixth time. Raising her hand of the seventh time, she stopped in mid-air as footsteps came up behind her. She turned and recognised who it was. "Gil, where have you been?"
Grissom walked past her and unlocked his door. "Walking." He answered.
"I can see that, where?" She followed him into the kitchen where he turned the coffee maker on. "Gil?" She pressed.
"Around." He left the room and changed out of his wet clothes. When he came back, Catherine had made two coffees and pushed one towards him. "Thank you." Taking the cup, he sat down on the couch.
"I just came from the hospital." She watched as he stopped from lifting the cup to his lips briefly before continuing. "You left." He nodded and set his cup on the coffee table. "Why?" Catherine asked softly, she also put her cup on the table.
He shrugged sadly. "I was in the way."
Catherine looked at him carefully as he stared across the room. "Gil?"
Grissom turned his head to looked at her. "Yes?"
She watched his eyes as he broke eye contact, then made it again, only to break it and look away. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"What?" He asked, standing and moving to the window, overlooking the street.
"About what happened?" She asked gently, sitting back slightly.
"What's there to talk about. I messed up and one of my CSI's got shot." His voice was distant.
Catherine watched his shoulders slump further as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "How did you mess you up?" Her words were soft, not pushing.
His head dropped as his hands pushed into his pants pockets. "I let myself get distracted."
Pushing her shoes off and bringing her feet under her, Catherine cleared her throat softly. "Distracted in what way?"
Grissom watched the clouds drift away and the rain with it as he whispered. "She distracted me."
Smiling faintly, Catherine reached for her coffee and drank some. "Sara?"
He nodded and turned to her. "If she didn't.If I." He stammered and turned back to the window. Catherine waited for him to continue. Grissom touched the glass and traced the droplets still running down the window pane. "Thinking about it would hurt us, I mean her and me. I can't let that happen."
Catherine didn't understand and she wasn't going to let him continue until he had explained it. "Gil?" He turned to her and walked back to the couch when she patted the cushions. "Start from the beginning or tell me something to make me understand."
Grissom nodded and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "I tried so hard to forget, but seeing her everyday." He paused and took a deep breath. "We were looking upstairs. The bedroom at the top of the stairs was the last we looked in. She moved out of the way and the next minute her hands on my arm and I couldn't look away."
Moving to sit beside him, Catherine gently rubbed his back when his breathing started coming in short gasps. "Go on."
"I don't know, I suddenly felt I should be as far away as possible and pulled away more harshly than intended." Dropping his head into his hands, he let the tears come again. "I turned away. I heard a gunshot and when I turned." He wiped his tears away and breathed in shakily. "She stood so still, her knuckles so white as they gripped the doorframe. I caught her before she hit the ground." He looked up and into Catherine's eyes, she was crying too, but saw something she'd never seen in his eyes before. fear and pain. "No words, no time, no blood." Grissom hiccuped and Catherine pulled him close to her. "Then it wouldn't stop, the blood wouldn't stop. I tried, but I couldn't stop it. Her eyes looked so helpless. I looked into her eyes and saw everything."
Catherine understood now and knew she shouldn't say anything, so she changed the subject slightly. "Did you see the shooter?"
"No!" He exclaimed as his whole body shook with uncontrollable sobs.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Time.
The clock in the room was broken, had to be.
The room was quiet.
No one but the body in the bed was occupying it.
Tick Tock
Ok, the clock wasn't broken.
Sara sighed and grimaced as she looked up at the ceiling. Her chest was sore and her breathing was laboured. A minute ago, she could swear her parents were here, but now she was alone and she was in the bed and not looking down on it. She closed her eyes as strange thoughts, like dreams drifted through her mind. None of it made sense, so she breathed out a shaky breath and grimaced at the pain that coursed through her chest. Her hand came up to lay across her heart and she attempted to rub the pain away, but stopped when it made the pain worse. She groaned and the tears started trickling down her cheeks.
She couldn't reach the call button, her arms felt weak and her head was foggy with the drugs being fed into her system. Her left hand immobile by the drip line. Inhaling very slowly, she opened her eyes and although it still hurt, it was less painful than before.
Hours went by as the clock told her. It flicked the large hand over the 12 and the little hand hovered the 11. It was dark outside the window and the hallway couldn't be seen from her position on the bed. The door was closed, she knew that by the muffled sounds of activity. Even this late and the hospital was fairly busy.
Closing her eyes again, she tried to remember for the hundredth time, what happened?
A case
Silence
Hard tones
Unsettled air
Tension
A bang
Sara opened her eyes and realised she'd fallen asleep as she startled awake and nearly shot up straight, only to fall back and groan loudly in pain. Weren't nurses supposed to check on patients? She wondered angrily as she clutched her chest and lightly sobbed into her pillow. She reached for the call button again, but it was a futile attempt.
A shadow formed on the floor, then over her. Sara turned her head and opened her eyes to see her parents smiling down at her. They called for the nurse when they noticed the discomfort and gently soothed the pain away with distractions of love and soft soothing words.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Sara was sent home a week after being shot. She was to take three weeks off work and take things very easy the whole time. If there were any problems, she was to contact the doctor immediately. Her parents stayed with her for a week to help her get settled.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Things were quiet when she opened the locker room door. She wasn't early, but she wasn't late either. She knew Nick was working tonight, but Warrick was not. They both came to see her and help out, just as Catherine did. They talked and joked, careful not to aggravate Sara's chest. She was still a little wheezy if she got too excited and everyone did there best to avoid anything two stressing.
Walking down the hallway, she talked with Greg and the other lab techs. They came out of their labs to see how she was doing and welcomed her back. She smiled and did her best to not get too worked up.
Stopping in the break room, she leaned against the table as she took a few deep breathes. She could feel the tightening of her ribcage and closed her eyes as she rubbed her scar. Standing by the coffee pot, she poured a cup, with her hand still on her chest. She took a sip as she turned and stopped when she saw who was standing in the doorway.
Grissom stood, staring at her with not emotion, no expression, nothing. His hand held a file, most likely assignments and the other was at his side. He wore a baggy black shirt with making slacks and his glasses were perched on his nose.
Sara put her coffee down on the table and sat down slowly, her eyes dropping from his to her hands. She had pushed the coffee away, loosing interest in it.
He didn't move for a minute, but looked down at the floor as Catherine and Nick walked in talking about a dead body being found on the bleachers at the ice rink. It was all over the news.
They sat down next to Sara and gave her and light hug, knowing she didn't like being hugged too tight. Grissom approached the table and opened the file quietly as he change the mental plan of attack he had already prepared. He didn't know Sara was coming back yet. He'd been told she was coming back next week. It had only been two weeks and a day since she let the hospital.
Nick grinned at his smash and grab solo case and darted out the door. Catherine and Sara grabbed their kits and headed for the parking lot.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Sara looked up at the bleachers. She took the steps slowly as she climbed the 30 odd steps to the body. Catherine was already up there and photographing the body.
Reaching the 24 step, Sara stopped and sat down. She stared at her feet as she took slow deep breaths. Getting ready to stand again, she felt a hand on her shoulder, holding her down. She looked up as Grissom moved in front of her and crouched down.
"You ok?" He asked quietly.
Sara sighed. "I'm-" She stopped when he gave her a stern look. "I'm tired, that's all."
"You weren't suppose to come back until next week Sara." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small plastic bottle. "Take one now and another in 4 hours. It'll help the constriction in your chest."
Sara took the bottle and read the label. Grissom stood and walked up the bleaches towards Catherine. Reading the label again, she noticed it was in her name. Some comfort came from that, but she couldn't keep the feeling that he'd not seen her in three weeks and not even asked after her. The others told her he was quiet and working all hours so he couldn't visit, but they all knew she knew it was a lie.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Greg handed Sara the DNA results and watched as she turned, already absorbing the information. He grinned and turned back to work on Nick's case.
Sara found Catherine and reeled off the results as she entered the layout room. "One match and two unknowns. The victim, Josh Manning was bleeding all over the place. I found blood at the bottom of the bleachers and a trail all the way to the top. Also two unknowns, also trailing in the same direction." Sara sat down and took a deep breath. She placed the prints out on the table and studied them further, while Catherine went through the vics clothing.
"I've got blood, but only the vics. The other two must have been injured during a fight or something." Catherine said a loud.
Sara nodded, but didn't agree. "I was thinking more along the lines that the vic was killed first and the other two went at each other."
Grissom looked up from the autopsy report and stared across the table, thinking over Sara's theory. "Then there's another body out there."
Sara bit her lip and narrowed her eyes. "A lot of blood was found that CODIS didn't have a name for. The missing link must have lost some where near 5 to 6 pints of blood. It was spread across the bleachers and down the far steps." She reached across the table and winced as she pulled a pile of crime scene photo's towards her.
Checking her watch, she pulled out the pill bottle and took another one without water. She stared at the photo's and arranged about 8 in front of her. Grissom watched what she was doing and moved to stand beside her. He pointed to the blood trail. "It leads to the ice, but no more blood was found, just the puddle."
Catherine raised her eyebrows as she shone a maglite through the vics shirt. "Maybe missing link number 3 took the body." Sara looked up at her as Grissom did and both stared at her in deep thought. Catherine felt their eyes and looked up, clearly freaked by the same look they gave her. "What?" She asked.
Grissom grabbed a magnifying glass and looked closer at the photo. "A faint trail leads to the door." He said quietly and lowered the glass to the table. "Sara." He started walking to the door. "Cath, wait for tox to come back and page me if Doc Robbins finds anything else." With that said, he disappeared.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Sara stood, looking over the ice and followed the lines of the frozen court. One body found a half mile from the building. Matched the DNA found on the bleachers and AFIS gave them a name, John King. Brass was looking for King's brother. They share a flat and seeing as no brother was found, Catherine ran King's DNA against the unknown and discovered markers that told them Missing link number 1 was King's brother. They had no name, he had no criminal record and the police were out looking for him. Manning and King were linked together as friends. The theory is, the brothers was meeting Manning and something went wrong. Manning was killed first, but not before fighting back. The brothers start arguing about what they just did and turn against each other, but that's where the case goes cold. No more links, no more leads to follow. Dead end until the missing brother is found.
Now it was past midnight and Sara found herself sitting on the tenth bleacher from the ice level. The exact same position she sat in a few years before. Watching her breath float away with the cold, she stood and walked to the ice. She took a tentative step onto the frozen water and smiled as she gripped with her toes. She walked towards the middle and looked up at the lights. It was dark in the large building, but a few headlights were shinning dimly.
Grissom watched from the corner of the arena as she tucked her hands into her pockets and started walked in no particular pattern, around the ice.
"No set path." He said, startling Sara.
She turned and watched as he walked towards her. "No set path?" She asked confused.
He nodded. "Walking around in no pattern. No set path."
Sara continued to stand as he stopped in front of her. His head down and his arms at his sides, trying to keep balance. She observed his stance for a few seconds and noticed him wobble. "When was the last time you stood unsteadily?" She asked curiously as his arms wavered slightly.
"Every time I see you." He answered so softly Sara strained to hear. Grissom raised his head from watching his feet and swayed slightly.
Sara took at step forward and pulled her hands from her pockets to grasp his arm. He turned to face her completely and grasped her upper arm. His eyes came up and lock with hers. She didn't want to look away, but had to when he stepped closer and slipped. Her hands grabbed his jacket as his gabbed hers and both went down like a tone of bricks. Grissom wrapped his arms around Sara to soften the fall as she landed on him.
"God Sara, I'm sorry. You ok?" His arms held her tightly as his breathe blew at her hair in his rush of words.
She smiled down at him and shrugged. "Think so." She took a shallow breath and tilted her head. "What's wrong?"
Grissom furrowed his brows at her. "I don't understand."
Looking into his eyes before drifting over the rest of his face, she spoke softly. "A few weeks ago I was shot. I don't see you." She winced.
Grissom panicked and rolled them so Sara was beneath him. "What's wrong? Is it your chest?"
Sara looked at his concern with confusion. "I asked you a question." She pointed out. "Did I do something wrong?"
He shook his head slowly. "Of course not, what gave you that idea?"
"Perhaps the idea came from not seeing you when I was in hospital, at home or any other time. No phone call to check up on me, nothing. I must have done something for you to ignore me." She said on a few short gasps.
Grissom looked at her and realised he was in a very unprofessional position with a fellow co-worker. He gave her the same look he gave her the night she got shot and he watched as her eyes saddened and she pushed him away from her as she climbed to her feet. "Forget it." She whispered and slowly walked to the exit.
Trying not to fall, Grissom got to his feet and followed her. His heart was pounding in his chest. Once on solid concrete he stopped. "It's my fault."
Sara stopped walking, but didn't turn. "Don't be stupid."
He took a few steps and stood a foot behind her. "If I was concentrating, none of this would have happened."
"You were concentrating, that's why you didn't hear anything. It's my fault. I shouldn't have." She dropped her head.
"At that time, the crime scene was not even close to being on my mind. I was distracted, but not by the crime scene." He admitted, hearing her put the blame on herself.
She turned, but didn't look at him. "I shouldn't have brought personal stuff to work. I'm sorry and it got me shot. It's my fault for not being careful."
Grissom's eyes lowered to her hand as she rubbed the scar. He reached out and took her hand, pulling it away and holding it in both his. "My fault, your fault. The scene was not secure. That's the police's job and they put us in danger. I put you in danger by being angry and cold toward you. In return, I made you angry and cold toward me."
Sara nodded and looked up. "It won't happen again. I'm sorry."
She pulled her hands from his, but Grissom pulled her against him. "It won't happen again Sara, but I'm sorry too and not just for what happened, all the other times." He buried his nose in her hair as they fed of each others body heat in the cold iced arena.
"Why didn't you come and see me?" She whispered into his ear.
Grissom closed his eyes tight as tears threatened to escape. "I was scared you wouldn't make it and that everyone would blame me. It wasn't just you, it was everyone." His truthful words brought tears to her eyes.
"You saved me." She whispered, turning her head to place a soft kiss on his cheek. "If you weren't there, I'd be dead."
Grissom pulled her tighter as he pulled his head back and gaze into her eyes. "If you weren't in my life, I'd be dead." He dipped his head and brushed his lips with hers.
THE END
(Ah. so sad, then upsetting, sniffling stage, another box of tissues, angst and happiness. Nothing like a good teary story. I'm sorry if I'm costing you money in tissues, but it's just what happens to appear from my mind, onto the computer. Bearing in mind, I cry too, so your not alone. Lol. Hope you enjoyed it.)