Title: Shattered Doll
Author: LiLAqUaMaRiE
Fandom: CSI: Miami
Pairings/Characters: Natalia Boa Vista
Rating: T or M
Genre: Drama, angst
Spoilers: S.5 – Internal Affairs.
Word Count: 957
Challenge Fic: #3
Challenge Word: #012 – Broken
Summary: She was a broken doll that no one could fix anymore.
Disclaimer: I don't own "CSI: Miami" or anything related to it. So don't sue me please!!!! I'm already poor as it is. Don't need a lawsuit to put me out on the street.
Note: This is a fic for the MiamiFicTalk Community prompt challenge.

SHATTERED DOLL

Natalia...

She closed her eyes in attempt to block out the words that seemed to haunt her mind. But she had no luck, she was forced to open her eyes and face her reality. It was as if she was unable to escape it no matter what she tried.

Natalia Boa Vista...

She pounded the back of her head against the wall that she was leaning on; she pounded harder and harder, not caring if she was causing herself pain. She just wanted to forget.

...you're under arrest for the murder...

In silence, she crossed and uncrossed her arms across her chest. She was trying to give herself some sort of solace in the hell she was currently living in but neither felt comfortable or gave off any small sense of peace. She was too tense.

She moved away from the wall; unconsciously she started to pace back and forth within the small confinement cell she was placed in. She always hated small places; it made her feel as if she was losing air, as if the walls would start at any moment to close in on her. She felt trapped.

...of Nick Townsend.

She took a deep breath. Murder; she was being accused of a crime – murder. It was like a bad mantra in her mind that kept repeating over and over. Natalia blinked as she stared blankly at a wall. The events that had taken place recently were like the icing to the cake in her pathetic life – it was just too much.

She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream in rage, she wanted to defend herself but she did not attempt to do anything. She was too numb inside; it was at time like these that she felt as if she had no more soul left.

Natalia blinked. Correction, she had no soul left, it had shattered a long long time ago and these current events destroyed the last bits she had desperately tried to hold onto. It was a lost cause, she had failed. She lost them and at that moment she had lost her soul – completely.

Nick Townsend was dead.

Nick was dead – gone. Natalia laughed; her laughter was devoid of any humor – it was empty. She was confused. She did not know what to do anymore, she couldn't cry for him, at least not now. She had cried fifty thousands tears for him in the past, she had no more to shed.

He was dead and she killed him. Did she? She was not thinking coherently, she was starting to believe those words they kept repeating to her when they interrogated her. Natalia shook her head; she was so losing her mind within the cell she placed in. The pressure, the misery – it all was too much for her to handle anymore, she was slowly going under and had no life line to cling onto.

Natalia truly felt Nick deserved to die but at the same time he didn't. She had screamed, deceived and bled for him but she had once upon a time smiled, loved and cared for him. She was truly confused and desperately alone. It seemed as if even in death, he was tormenting her again. His words from the past always haunted her, whispering things she wished she had never had heard.

You're useless...

She closed her eyes tightly.

You never were good enough, except for a good fuck...

Tears fell down her eyes; she was starting to believe those words again.

Without me, you're nothing.

Nick was gone. She was useless, insignificant. He was dead. Nick was right, he was always right – no one loved her, and no one defended her when she was arrested. Nick was dead. She was accused and she was alone. Nick was dead and without him she was nothing.

Natalia roughly wiped the tears that had fallen. She was nothing – empty. Empty shells do not cry, they do not live; Nick was dead and she was accused. Everyone will once again shun her completely, but did anyone ever truly care for her to begin with?

She was alone and Nick was dead.

Tears fell from her eyes again; he was dead and she never felt so alone. He cared for her in his own way – she mattered to him. Natalia closed her eyes, her mind was in turmoil. She couldn't separate what was real and what was not any longer. The thoughts in her head were always so confusing; she couldn't even trust herself anymore.

Nick was dead.

...you're under arrest for the murder...

She was accused.

Natalia walked closer to a nearby wall and pounded a fist against it. She was alone – it was a fact that screamed out to her. Tears fell freely as she pounded her fist harder and harder till she started to bleed. Nick was dead. He wouldn't care for her anymore. He was dead.

She stared at her bloody hand in a daze; why was she so alone? Why was she unable to produce even pity in people?

She was accused of killing. She was the first suspect; she wasn't trusted to begin with. She wasn't defended. Nick was dead – she laughed at the knowledge. Slowly she lifted her bloody hand to her face leaving a trail of blood marks.

Was she too lost to be saved?

She laughed again, this time falling to her knees as a sob broke through. She had being lying to herself all this time and Nick was right. She was nothing and would always be nothing.

How could she not be? From the moment she was with him till now, she had been so hollow inside. She resembled a doll that had no use anymore.

She was broken.

FIN.