A/N: I wrote this a while back. For the sake of Edna's ex husband needing a first name, I named him John.
She couldn't believe it. Out of all the restaurants, out of all the towns for that matter, he had to choose to dine at the Gilded Truffle in Springfield. She was debating on darting out of the restaurant before he spotted her. She didn't want to be seen by him like this; she was alone, she had nothing to show for herself for Seymour had stood her up for his mother once again. She tried to hide herself with her menu, but it had been too late. He had seen her.
"Edna!"
Edna sighed, putting the menu down on the table. "John."
"It's been a long time! Are you alone? I figured you would have someone with you. Word on the street is that you're quite the little slut," John chuckled.
Edna pursed her lips and glared at the man. She knew word around Springfield was as such, but to think it had gotten to him of all people infuriated her. "I'll have you know, I have a boyfriend-fiancee, actually! We're going to be married."
"Oh, really?" He raised an eye. "The same fellow you already ran out on?"
Edna was glowering. How on Earth did he know all of this? Word sure got around. "Just how do you know about that?"
John shrugged. "Word gets around, I guess. There's no shame in being an old maid."
"I beg your pardon!" It was just one insult after another, and she was about ready to slap him. She had been insulted enough by him in her lifetime; she did not need this now. "I suppose you're married again?"
"Of course not. I can't be bothered by marriage. I just don't like being tied down."
"Whatever," Edna crossed her legs and looked the other way.
John sighed. "I'm sorry . . . You're looking good."
Edna's eyes widened and she pulled her outer jacket closed, fearing he was only looking at her cleavage.
"Edna, come on. Can't you take a compliment? I know I have said some nasty things in the past to you, but I'm past that now. I meant that. You're looking good for your age."
"For my age?" Edna glowered.
"Sorry, sorry!" John sighed. "I really am no good at this. You're not just some floozy; you never were. You were special."
"Oh, don't even try to pull that bull crap, John."
John lowered his voice. "Edna, please. You and I both know you're very much alone, and I can't deny I've missed you from time to time. Why don't we try to rekindle what we once had? We don't have to get married; in fact-I don't want to get married. I just want to feel you in my arms again."
"Ha! John, we were over the moment you ran off with our marriage counselor."
"Yes, but . . ."
"Do you know how that made me feel, John? You were too cowardly to even finalize a god damn divorce!"
John looked around, a bit embarrassed and whispered urgently, "Perhaps we should continue this conversation elsewhere?"
"There's nothing to continue, John! It is over."
However, Edna found herself with John in her apartment, talking and drinking wine. She had to admit it felt good to finally be able to get all of her anger out on him. To be able to call him all the names she had longed to, to be able to yell at him to her heart's content. She had to refrain from beating him.
She was on her fourth glass of wine, one over her usual on Friday nights, and she blamed that on her next actions. She was breathing heavily, her hair was disheveled, and her fists were clenched. She loathed this man so much. However, it seemed to be turning him on for he smiled suddenly, pulling her close to him. "You know, you're really sexy when you're angry."
Without a word or second thought, Edna pressed her lips to John's, kissing him with full force. He did not resist; he kissed her back just as fully, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. She was a smart woman, but she had bad choices-even worse choices under the influence of alcohol, and this might've been the worst decision she had ever made. Having sex with her ex husband whom she loathed more than anyone was not on her to do list at all.
Whatever she had with John at the present moment did not last long at all, but it lasted long enough for the dreadful town gossip to catch wind of it.
"Well, well, well. I guess I was right, was I? You really are dragging your ex husband along," the minister's wife let out a condescending chuckle that made Edna's skin crawl.
"Once again, Helen, you do not know what you are talking about. You see things and assume, and if you spread this information, I swear to God, I'll. . . "
"You'll what?" Helen smirked, very interested in Edna's threat.
Edna glared at the woman, thinking quickly before moving closer to the woman, speaking in a low voice. "I will get to your husband."
"Get to my husband?" Helen raised her eyes. "What do you mean?"
"I think you know very well what I mean. I've gotten to him before; I can do it again. No one says no to me."
Helen started fidgeting nervously, getting a worried expression on her face before scowling. "When did you get to him before, you . . . Slut?" she whispered the last part.
"That doesn't matter now, does it? Just keep your mouth shut about this, or you may be in for a surprise."
Of course Edna wouldn't even dream of being a home wrecker. She had no interest in the reverend; she was not a slut like Helen Lovejoy thought, but since she did think that, she was using it to her advantage to scare her. She could tell it had worked for the woman never uttered a word about what she thought she knew. Edna loved having this bit of power over the woman. All that time she had been powerless to her, Helen having had something to hold over her head . . . Now she was the upper hand.
The next Friday evening when she and Seymour were dining out, she noticed John with his arm around a blonde headed woman whose breasts were spilling unflatteringly out of her dress. She rolled her eyes. "Ugh, what a pig!" she muttered.
"Huh?" Seymour raised his eyes.
"Oh, it's just my ex husband."
Seymour followed her gaze and nodded. "I see. What's he doing in Springfield?"
"Probably already slept with all the women in Shelbyville and needed fresh meat. Ha!"
"Well, he won't be getting any from you." He moved his chair a bit closer to Edna and put an arm around her, holding her close a moment.
Edna chuckled a little nervously. "Oh, please, Seymour! Do you think I'd really be so stupid to go back to that thing?"
"Of course not. You stay with this thing!" He grinned, pointing to himself.
Edna sighed. She felt every decision she had ever made was stupid, and she never knew when she was even doing the right thing anymore. Seymour didn't know, but she was indeed stupid enough to go back to her ex husband, just like she was stupid enough to stay with Seymour. Though, she knew that keeping Seymour around was a lot better decision than sleeping with her ex husband.
It was just another regretted decision to keep her up at night.