On Her Wedding Night
Summary: One shot, introspective, drabble-ish piece. Millerna, on her wedding night, among a multitude of wounded which includes her new husband, reflects on what might have been and what is. Fits just after her wedding in the series (about episode 20 or 21?).
Rating info: Not smutty in the least, despite the title. The three-letter "S" word is a topic, NOT an event. If you have some idea of what's "supposed" to happen on a wedding night, I think you'll be okay. Even if you don't, you won't see anything shocking, but you might be a bit confused ;;
Disclaimer: Escaflowne does not belong to me, and the only profit I reap from this is the joy of paying tribute to something I love--and feedback.
Before, she had been a little worried bit about it.
Okay, that was a lie — it had been a big worry in the days preceding her wedding, but, of course, there were so many big worries that to spend a great deal of thought on this one wasn't possible.
It could not be denied that Dryden was a healthy young man. And with him wanting to get married early and all — well, why should he wait on this matter, even if she was six years his junior, only fifteen, and still so emotionally confused besides?
Still so hung up on her dead sister's ex-lover, her thoughts added unbidden.
At first, after she had finally agreed to marry Dryden, she had seen no issue. By agreeing to marry for her country, wasn't she also agreeing to produce an heir to the throne? It was simple mathematics: King plus Queen equals Prince ("Princess" being not an option after the obvious disaster of her own family). But in her empty moments, the times when the bigger concerns had been shoved into the corners of her mind, she realized that she just couldn't. Not yet, not something so intimate.
Hadn't she hoped — prayed, pleaded with whatever gods might be listening — that he would understand why she wasn't ready for this final commitment? After all, he claimed to love her, didn't he? He wouldn't lie — would he? And if he truly loved her, surely he wouldn't. . . .
Now, of course, it all seemed very foolish.
Zaibach attacked Asturia, interrupting her wedding day — her wedding day! — with fire and brimstone from the heavens, a mockery of her prayers. Dryden had saved his new bride's life from the towers she had pulled from the sky, and in doing so endangered his own. He would have the scars to prove it, provided that he lived long enough for his wounds to become scars.
Now, her only worry about what happened in their bedroom was that his face would freeze in that half-pained expression, in an eternal sleep instead of the temporary one he was now in, that the slow rising and falling of his chest would still.
Now, after tending to so many of the bleeding and broken people of her country who were injured in the attack (because there were not enough doctors to help them, even she was called upon, and part of her heart leapt for joy even as the rest of it felt heavy as lead), she just wanted to crawl into her bed — no matter who else occupied it — and sleep long and deep, to wake up to find it had all been an awful dream and it was all over.
Now, in these few spare moments she had been allowed to sit with her new husband, her only hope was that on their wedding night he wouldn't die, though it would free her from the life she hadn't really wanted.
Now, as his eyes fluttered slightly and he reached for her hand — which she gave with only the slightest hesitation — she still could not say that she loved him. No, and perhaps she never would, but maybe, just maybe someday … someday she would be ready to.
The sky outside was beginning to lighten with the dawn. Delicate shades of mauve and orange crisscrossed the clouds before giving way to blue, a perfect, beautiful blue. She could almost see the sun.
He saw it, too, and he looked at her, his eyes bright as if with fever but shining with recognition. "Some wild wedding night, huh?"
She smiled slightly. "Yes, I guess it was."
FIN
A/N: What did you think? This story's been sitting in my journal for going on three years, but I found enough to like in it to post. I'd be much obliged if you'd leave a review with your opinion on it Thanks for reading!