Hey, this a standalone story and I'm not sure where it came from. The rhythm that I used is one that I remember from when I was younger but I couldn't find out when and where it was from. So, lets just pretend it was around during the 50s in America if it wasn't. Also, I don't remember anything ever being mention about Frank's kids but sorry if I'm wrong. Please review and let me know what you think!
Good Deed
"Hey, Hawk...Look at this." B.J said, as he entered the Swamp, holding up a small home-made clothe doll.
"Uh, aren't you a little old for dolls?"
B.J rolled his eyes. "It's for Erin."
"Oh, then it looks perfect." Hawkeye stood up to get a closer look. "What's the occasion?"
"No occasion...One of the locals made it... I thought it was cute."
"Well, she'll be the most envied kid in all of Mill Valley." Hawkeye told him. "Now, if you'll excuse me...I'm late for a very important date!"
B.J shook his head slightly as he watched as Hawkeye danced out the tent.
"You better watch it, Hunnicutt."
B.J turned and looked over at Frank. "And what would that be, Frank?"
"Buying presents for no reason." He stated. "You keep doing that and you'll have a spoilt child on your hands."
"It's a doll, Frank...Not a pony."
"It all starts somewhere."
"You have children...Don't you ever just want to buy them gifts?" B.J questioned. "Don't you just see something, that you know will be so perfect for them that you have to buy it there and then?"
"Hmmp, what could a child need that badly?"
"Forget it, Frank." B.J gave up. No matter what he thought of Frank, he never actually believed that the man had no feelings for his children but maybe he was wrong.
"Anyway, it's the women's job to buy the gifts."
B.J shook his head in disbelief. "You've never brought your children a present? Not a birthday present? Christmas?"
He had missed Erin's first Christmas but had still managed to send both her and Peg presents he brought in Tokyo. He just prayed that this war would be over by the time, her first birthday came around but it was not looking very hopeful.
"What would I know about what they want?" Frank asked, defensively. "Besides, they like their Mother better anyway."
B.J paused, suddenly feeling sorry for the Major. "I'm sure that's not true."
"Well, why shouldn't they? She spends more time with them."
"You could have spent time with them too, Frank."
"I had to work."
"You could have made time for them."
"Listen, Hunnicutt just because you're the perfect Father..."
"I never said I was..."
"With buying the little presents... with all the photographs..." Frank rambled on. "But some of us live in the real world, where the women look after the children and the men do the work."
"Frank..."
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish polishing my boots."
B.J hesitated slightly but decided to drop it. He carefully put the doll away before laying on his cot; thinking about the conversation he just had. He could never work Frank out...He knew Hawkeye believed that Frank was useless and had no heart but B.J sometimes wondered whether Frank put up a front to protect himself. He always had this obsessive need to be better then everyone; maybe he was trying to impress them all.
After a few minutes of silence, B.J decided to see if he could get Frank to open up a bit.
"Tell me about them?"
"About who?"
"You're children."
"What's to tell...They're just children."
"What's their names?"
"Oh...Well there is Nancy and Karen and then there is Connie." Frank told as he continued to clean his boots.
"All girls?" B.J smiled slightly. "How old are they?"
"Nancy and Karen are nine..."
"You have twins?"
"Yep, we have to dress them differently so we can tell them part but I still get them mixed up." Frank put his boot down and looked over at him. "They were always trying to trick me."
B.J rolled his eyes; he even thought his own daughters were out to get him.
"What about Connie?"
"She's five." Frank shrugged a little. "She doesn't to do much except read her books and do her colouring."
"I would imagine a lot of five year olds like doing, that sort of thing."
"She used to make me read the same book over and over again."
B.J sat up and looked across at him. He suddenly felt elated. Frank Burns used to read his daughter stories. He knew deep down inside, there was a human side to Frank. Even if he did just show at night time, at least it was to someone important, his daughter.
"What book?"
"A book of nursery rhythms... she used to really like the Dolly one."
"Dolly one?"
"Y'know, Miss Polly had a dolly who was sick, sick, sick..."
"So she phoned for the doctor to be quick, quick, quick..." B.J continued, remembering the rhythm that he had heard Peg sing to Erin.
"That's the one... I don't know why she liked it though." Frank picked up his boots again. "And she always asks for a new doll for her birthday."
"She sound sweets, Frank." B.J replied and he began to wonder what Erin would be like at that age. "Do you have a photo?"
"Of course we have photographs!" Frank snapped a little. "We're not poor!"
B.J rolled his eyes. "I meant, here with you."
"Oh." He frowned then opened his footlocker and started searching.
B.J crossed the tent and watched him. There was a lot of strange things in Frank's footlocker; things that he didn't really want to know about either. What B.J just couldn't understand was how he could bury any pictures of children underneath a pile of rubbish.
"Here!" He pulled out a tatty photo. "It was taken when Connie was a baby."
B.J smiled as he looked at it. He liked to think that the reason it was so worn was because it had been taken out and looked at so many time; not because it had not been taken care of.
"Do you know a recent one?" He handed it back.
Frank shook his head and started putting his things away again.
"So, the only picture you brought with you was from five years ago?"
"Six years ago." Frank corrected. "Connie will be six next month."
"It's her birthday?" B.J questioned. "What are you sending her?"
"Sending her?" Frank repeated. "Why would I spend her anything?"
"It's her birthday! You need to send her a present!"
"Don't be a sappy-simp! Louise will be buying her gift."
"You could at least send her a card!"
"I suppose I could always write her a letter, wishing her a happy birthday."
"I bet it would mean the world to her." B.J told him, knowing that was the best he was going to get from Frank.
"Okay, I will." Frank grabbed his note pad and pen.
B.J smiled to himself as he went back to his own cot. He wondered what Hawkeye and the others would say about all this.
"Right, that's that done." Frank put his pen down just three minutes later.
"Already?" B.J sat up quickly. "You can't be!"
"Shows what you know!" He held the paper up and B.J saw there was just a few lines written.
B.J sighed, he felt like he was hitting his head against brick wall. Before he could say or do any more the P.A crackled to live.
"Attention all personnel, sorry to interrupt your boredom but incoming wounded."
"Well, lets get to it!" Frank said cheerfully as he stood up. "You know, Hunnicutt you're not too bad when you're not around Pierce."
"Thanks, Frank..." B.J rolled his eyes again as they left the tent.
XxXxX
It was eleven hours later when B.J returned to the swamp. Hawkeye had headed straight for the mess tent and the last he saw of Frank, he was bugging Margaret. Before he sat sat down, Frank's notepad caught his eye. Looking around to make sure no one was watching, he picked it up and read the short note Frank had wrote for his daughter.
Dear Miss C Burns,
I would like to wish you many happy returns on regards to your day of birth.
Yours Faithfully,
Major Frank M Burns.
B.J throw it back down and moved back to his side of the tent. His heart went out to those little girls back in the states and he wondered whether they actually missed their Father or not.
"Oh good, it's just you." Frank greeted him as he entered the swamp. "I've had just enough of Pierce's smart mouth."
"Whatever, Frank." He mumbled, pouring a drink from the Still.
B.J silently watched as Frank hummed to himself, while writing his home address on a envelop and then slipping the note inside.
"Well, I'm going to give this to Radar to mail." Frank stood up again. "If I post it now, it might just get there on time for her birthday."
B.J frowned as he watched him leave. He actually seemed happier because he wrote his daughter a birthday note. Maybe the problem wasn't that he didn't care, just that he didn't know how to interact with his children.
Opening his own footlocker, he got out the doll he had brought for Erin. He carefully wrapped and then picked up his notepad. He tried to work out what the best thing to say was when he suddenly got an idea. He grinned to himself as he wrote, quickly.
Miss Connie had a dolly who was sick, sick, sick.
So she phoned for the doctor to be quick, quick, quick.
The doctor came with his bag and hat,
And knocked at the door with a rat tat tat.
He looked at the dolly and shook his head,
And said "Miss Connie put her straight to bed."
He wrote a pad for a pill, pill, pill.
I'll be back in the morning with my bill, bill, bill.
Happy Birthday, my dear Connie.
love,
Your Father, Major Frank Burns.
He decided to leave the way Frank signed the letter so that his wife would believe it was from him. Reading the rhythm again, B.J couldn't help wonder whether the reason, Connie liked the song was because it reminded her of her Dad. The ending certainly sounded like Frank; he would bill a child for treating a doll.
B.J then made his way over to Radar's office, hoping he would not get seen by anyone and was disappointed to see Radar sat at his desk.
"Oh, do you have something to post, Sir?" Radar asked, spotting the package in B.J arm.
"Uh, yes, sort of."
"Major Burns just brought this by." He held up the envelope and then leaned closer to B.J to whisper. "It's address to his daughter."
"Can I just see that?" B.J took the opportunity to snatch the mail out of the younger man's hand.
"Hey!" Radar tried to take it back.
"I'll just be a second."
"Hey! You can't do that!" Radar exclaimed again when he saw B.J opening the envelope. "That's Major Burns' personal mail!"
B.J quickly replaced Frank's note with the one he wrote and re-sealed it then secured it to the parcel.
"There you go, Radar."
Radar took hold of it but he continued to stare at B.J in shock.
"Radar?"
"Sir, that... you can't do that to a Major's mail...I mean, to anyone's mail but Major Burns' mail..."
"It's fine, Radar."
"But Sir, I don't want to get into trouble and you and Captain Pierce are being sneaky..."
"No, not Hawkeye just me." B.J told him. "And I'm not being sneaky, I promise."
"I don't know..."
"Trust me, Radar."
"Okay, fine but if anyone asks, I know nothing about this." Radar placed the parcel on the table with the rest of the mail.
"Thanks, Radar." B.J grinned.
When he reached the swamp again, he found Hawkeye stood at the Still.
"What's got you so happy?" He asked, handing his friend a drink.
"Nothing, just did my good deed for today." B.J replied, holding his glass out for a silent toast before taking a sip.
"What? Saving the life of those boys in OR not good enough for you?"
"Alright, my twelfth good deed for today..." B.J laughed a little as he sat down.
"What is it today? Am I the only that's tired?" Hawkeye questioned. "I just saw Frank and even he's happy!"
"I don't know what to tell you, Hawk...Even over here, you sometimes just get a good day."
"Yeah, well cut it out...You're scaring me!" Hawkeye grumbled as he led down on and pulled the covers over his head.
XxXxX
"Mail call!" Klinger announced as he walked into the Mess tent, interrupting the meeting Colonel Potter was holding.
"Nice dress, Klinger." B.J commented.
"Thanks, I made it myself!" He beamed, smoothing down the pink and white fabric. "It's perfect for summer!"
"Colonel!" Frank exclaimed.
"Klinger, hand out the mail," Potter rolled his eyes. "Radar, lets take a break."
B.J tore open his letter and was so engrossed with what Peg had wrote about that he almost missed Father Mulcahy comment to Frank.
"That's a lovely picture, Major."
"My daughter sent it to me." Frank replied and B.J could hear a pride his in voice.
"She's quite the artist, Burns." Potter added, as Father Mulcahy held it up.
B.J smiled at the bright, colourful, squiggly lines made from crayon.
"She sent a photograph too!" Radar added, standing behind Frank, causing the Major to turn and glare at him. "I mean, I think she might have sent a photograph."
"Well, come on, Major...Let's see it!" Potter ordered, taking an interest since this was the first time, he heard Frank mention any of his children.
"Here you are, Sir."
"Oh, she is a beautiful little lady." Potter said before showing it around the table. B.J smile got bigger when he saw the girl, hugging the doll tightly.
"She must get it from her, Mother." Hawkeye quipped causing Frank to snatch the photo off him.
"Twerp!"
"Hang on, Frank...Let me see that again."
"Fine but no more, smart comments."
"Smart? Me?" Hawkeye said innocently as he looked at the picture again. "That's a nice doll, she's got there... Looks home made."
"Well, my wife always picks out the best birthday presents." Frank claimed, taking the photo back as he stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have Post-op duty."
"Who would have thought it? Y'know a part of me never believed that he actually had children, I thought he may have made them up as an excuse." Margaret said.
"That doll look very familiar." Hawkeye looked at B.J.
"What's with you and the doll?" Margaret questioned.
"Nothing, it just looked Korean."
"Hawk..."
"I thought you brought that for Erin?" Hawkeye cut B.J off. "Did Frank steal from you?"
"No, I sent it." B.J informed him.
"Wait, a minute? You sent Frank Burns' daughter a doll?" Potter asked. "What's the joke? I don't get it."
"There's not joke." B.J told him. "He just mentioned it was her birthday coming up."
"But he thinks his wife brought the doll." Father Mulcahy pointed out.
"We were talking and I persuaded him to write her a letter to wish her happy birthday but I bet there has been more heart warming letter sent to people on death row." B.J explained. "Frank said she like dolls, so I thought I'd send that and sign his name."
"What about Erin?" Hawkeye frowned and he was a little surprised how concerned he was about a little girl, he had never met.
"Peg tells her how much I love her, at least once a day..." He shrugged. "If Frank never buys his daughter a gift for the rest of her life, at least she'll always remember one birthday that he did."
"You have a good heart, B.J..." Father Mulcahy patted him on the shoulder.
"I think that's the nicest thing I've never seen!" Radar added.
"Hey, I have some material left over! I could make Erin a dress just like this to make up for not getting a doll!" Klinger said.
B.J laughed. "Y'know, I think Peg would love that!"
"I'll get right on it, Sir!"
"I think this meeting is over." Potter stood up. "Let head over the O club...Hunnicutt, I want to buy you a drink."
"And I'll buy your second." Father Mulcahy smiled.
"I got the next two." Hawkeye added.
"I should do good deeds more often."
"I'll never understand what the Army thought when they drafted a man who is so good at being a Father, even to kids that aren't his." Hawkeye said quietly to Colonel Potter as they followed the others out the Mess tent.
"Maybe they thought we need men like that over here too." Potter replied, thinking back a few weeks to when some of the locals had got burnt and it had been B.J that managed to get the baby to drink some milk. "Don't worry, he will probably be an even better Dad when does go home."
"I just hope for everyone sakes, that it's soon." Hawkeye sighed.
"Me too, Son...me too."
The End
Please review and let me know what you think!