AN: Gentlemen...BEHOLD! My first Minecraft story. This is what I would call, an Anti-CreepyPasta where I will be poking fun at the original horror story of Herobrine. Please do not take this as mocking the fandom, this simply for entertainment value, and it's purely fictional. So sit back, relax, and have yourself a laugh or two. Reviews and constructive criticism is welcome. Flaming or trolling is NOT.
-F-K YOU, HEROBRINE!-
Well...here I go again, playing PC/Internet games that will surely piss me the hell off.
Oooohh, gooooody.
So, I saw some friends from college playing a game we're all familiar with, Minecraft. My impression of it was that it's freakin weird and everything including da PCs and NPCs are made of cubes.
What's the point of Minecraft? Building shit. And surviving at night time I guess.
Well, from this perspective it kinda reminds me of that old pre-school TV show, Out of the Box.
BUT LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT THAT!
I purchased a mod of Minecraft and downloaded it onto my computer. It was quite boring at first, but when I acquired the necessary tools and started building houses it started to get fun.
Then all the sudden I see this lone figure in the fog. Hmmm, another NPC.
I SHALL SPEAK TO HIM!
But for whatever reason, when I got about maybe a foot and a half away from the guy, he runs off.
Da fuck? What just happened?
Oh hell with it, let's just get back to the game.
Hours later, I discover that all the leaves from the trees surrounding me had been cut off. My first thought was that I stumbled upon someone's building territory, but nobody was here. Leaving the bare trees unattended.
FINDERS KEEPERS! DANIEL BOONE WAS A MAN, A VERY BIIIIIIG MAN!
I score a shitload of lumber which enough to build me a freaking mansion. A half an hour later, I decided to take a break from building and go out to hunt for food. When I got close to the base of a mountain, I stumbled across a cave. And because my curiosity was peaked, I decided to go down there to explore.
But then this bitch went on and on and on AND ON AND ON! HOW DEEP DOES THIS FRIGGIN' THING GO? I'M RUNNING OUT OF TORCHES FOR CHRIST SAKE!
Then all the sudden something started attacking me, which I took for one of those zombie guys. Only it was the same dude I saw earlier. His character ID was 'Herobrine'. And before I could fight back...I died.
...
SON OF A BITCH, NOW I GOTTA COLLECT ALL THE CRAP I GOT ALL OVER AGAIN. DAMMIT!
Oh that asshole's gonna get it. It's war now.
So I get more stuff and I head back towards the mountain. Lucky for me I've played long enough to memorize the environment.
To my surprise and devilish delight, the cave is still there.
Come out, Herobrine. I have candy...
Then I saw him again, but before I was able to attack, he did some weird teleportation thing...and killed me.
GOD DAMMIT! F-K YOU HEROBRINE!
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay...this time...that mother fucker's goin' down.
FOR GOOD.
I go back to the cave, armed to the freaking teeth. I set up a whole bunch of torches and stayed in one place.
Why can't Minecraft have land mines?
Then, 'HE' came.
BRING IT, BITCH!
But instead of attacking me, he just stares at me. So I attempt to message him:
'Herobrine Season!'
'...CrankshaftRabbit Season.'
'HEROBRINE SEASON!'
'CrankshaftRabbit Season.'
'FREAKING HEROBRINE SEASON!'
'...Herobrine Season.'
'CRANKSHAFTRABBIT SEASON FIRE!'
...I died.
FUCK!
In a fit of rage I shut off the game and went outside to vent. Later on, I did some research on this...character and I later discovered that dude is supposedly Notch's brother.
OH NOW IT MAKES SENSE. JUST BECAUSE HIS BROTHER GOT RICH AND FAMOUS FOR CREATING A POPULAR GAME, HE FELT HE COULD ROAM ABOUT IN THE GAME AND MAKE OTHER GAMERS LIVES MISERABLE.
FUCK YOU HEROBRINE!
I wrote an angry email to Notch who kindly wrote back.
Notch: Uhhh, I don't have a brother...
...
...
THEN WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY?!
ARRRGGG!
...fuck you, Herobrine.
-THE END-