Title: Another Reason to Live.
Summary: The untold story of Percy and Penelope. It was never told how he dealt with his brother's death. Never told that Penelope was his life. Never told why he married Audrey. Do read. (And review)
Percy Weasley looked at the family portrait of his wife and his two angels. It has been ten years since all of it. Since Fred had passed, since…everything. Everybody thought that he dealt with it just fine. They had been concentrating on poor George more. And it was natural. After all, George was his twin. But George wasn't the cause of his brother's death, was he? No, Percy was….or so he thought at the time…
20th June, 1998.
Fred Weasley's funeral was being held today. A crowd had come to pay him homage. The Weasley twins were not only famous in Hogwarts but also in Diagon Alley. George and Fred were known for being kind and generous and for bringing a light in the time of darkness into peoples' lives by their outrageous stunts. Percy smiled a little, remembering their 'U-No-Poo' banner. Yes, it was true that he had not found it funny initially but, thinking about it now, it was a brave act of defying You-Know-Who. He stopped smiling, however, when he saw his younger brother's tomb being carried in and being gingerly set down on the ground; the warm sun shining brightly at them. It was a beautiful weather… Yet, the air was cold and ruthless. Percy's hair stood up eerily at the nape of his neck as he looked at the silent forbidding tomb.
He felt like somebody had punched him when he saw his sobbing mother; Mrs. Weasley had not stopped crying. A lot of times, Percy had tried to console her, but all good that did was Mrs. Weasley mumbling hysterically, "why did you leave me, Percy? Why? Don't you know that I needed you? Why, oh why Percy?"
Percy had jumped away each time, his heart breaking into million pieces. As he had looked at his weeping mother, his conscience had whispered, 'she is right, Percy. You left her because you have no heart, you left her because you are so ambitious that you are willing to sacrifice your own family for it. You, you and you alone, Percy Weasley are the reason Fred Weasley is not here. If you had been in the battle… maybe you could have prevented this from happening. But you came too late. Percy, you destroyed everything! LEAVE them all alone. You don't deserve them. Go away. GO!'
And he had fled. He had left all of them and had run away. He didn't, no, couldn't, make any contact with them. He had broken their heart. He had shattered a family, and the bitter realization had made Percy ….insane. He wanted to stop the feeling of pain, and that hatred towards himself. The urge to just end it all. To…he had twirled the wand between his long fingers, to just…one spell, that is it, one spell. And it will be all good again. It'll all dissolve into nothingness. He played with the idea. The more he had thought about it, the more tempting it had seemed. 'Why not?' he had mused… Where there is nobody there for you, what's the point in living?
'Avada Kedavr--'
No. He had told himself He couldn't just give up like that. But… he could not bear the hate of the family. He had stared up at the ceiling, feeling like as if nobody loved him. All alone. In this world. Nobody. Nobody….
'But, his funeral, I will say goodbye to him. Then maybe…'
Percy watched as everybody gave their speeches. He only really listened to George's and then, quite unlike himself, tuned the rest of them out. His gaze idly wandered over the audience. He saw many people that he knew, and many that he didn't. It was funny, really, how on Fred's funeral, there were so many mourning, but on his, there would be none. That is IF he had a funeral.
He mused darkly before his attention was diverted to a flash of blonde hair. The strawberry blonde curls. Her curls.His eyes snapped to Penelope Clearwater's delicate features. She had been his girlfriend back in his sixth and seven year. He grinned stonily, his eyes sad as he stared at her. He had been the happiest with her. While his mother had pressurized him forever, to become something, a prefect, a head boy, like Bill, she accepted him for who HE was. She had seemed genuinely interested in him. Like as if she had actually cared to listen to what he had to say. Nobody had ever treated him like that before. But… after they had left Hogwarts they had drifted apart, Percy getting more and more immersed in his work while she in her writing.
Penelope felt somebody staring at her; she turned around and scanned the crowd and finally spotted a man who looked vaguely familiar."Why do you look so familiar," she quietly hummed to herself her favorite song, "I could swear that I have seen your face before…"'Who could he be…? Hmm, Weasley; the trade mark red hair…. Percy? No way.' she gasped. 'What happened to his face!?'Her eyes raked his face; he had changed so, so much. The short neatly kept red hair was a long messy shag, the horn-rimmed glasses were still there but the eyes behind them were rimmed in red and puffy. He had dark shadows underneath his eyes, and his cheeks were hollow. He looked really tired; he looked like as if he was withering away. Frankly, he looked ill.
Penelope stared at him in a surprise. She remembered when Percy and she used to date. That was a different Percy; he had always been eager, and very, very sweet. He was also extremely hard working and caring. And the complete opposite of her. While she was an optimist, Percy was a serious pessimist. Lots of times, Penelope would have to console him when he started to panic. She also knew that he had a tendency of taking everything hard. Even Fred and George's jokes. While she would laugh at the outrageousness of them, Percy would make a sour face and looked grumpy. 'The silly old grouch' she would fondly think then. But she knew how much he loved his family. And that is why it had come as a shocking news when she heard that Percy had left his family in their time of need. Indeed, it had made Penelope very angry and sad. She realized that Percy had changed. And so the hopes of ever being with him had been dashed, for, if he could stop caring about his family, why would he care for her?
As she looked at Percy Weasley now, she wondered why he wasn't sitting with his family. She flicked her eyes towards the howling Mrs. Weasley, who was looking pitifully distraught, and then towards the wooden Percy and thought, 'has he no heart? What's wrong with him? He was always Mrs. Weasley's favorite and now…' Even if he wasn't her 'favorite', she knew that the Percy she had known would never leave his mother crying like that. Percy has indeed changed, she sighed sadly.
Percy walked towards Penelope after the funeral. So what if they weren't together, it was just polite to meet an old school friend, he thought to himself as he approached the tall slim figure.
"Hello there, Penelope."
"Why, hi, Perce. What's up?" she answered casually, sticking out her hand so that he could shake it.
"Nothing much, just… getting over my brother's death," he replied sardonically as he shook her soft hands.
She smiled without any humor."I thought that might be. There is a café nearby, would you like to join me there for a cup of coffee?" she quirked here eyebrows, looking at him questioningly.
"Why not?"
So they were seated around a table five minutes later, the silence unnatural to Penelope who was accustomed to a chatty Percy.
"So, truly, how has it been?" she pressed him, sipping her cappuccino.
"I answered truthfully, Penelope, I am in shock and grieving over my brother's death." He replied a bit sadly.
"Oh please I want details. How have you really been over these, wow, five years?"
"What do you really want to hear, Penelope?"
"What's with this 'Penelope, Penelope'? You used to call me 'Penny'!"
"I am sorry…PENNY."
"Better. But what I want to hear is…how's your job?"
"Work? It's been…OK. I guess it's on a good track after what happened back '94."
"What happened?" she feigned innocence.
"You don't know? I thought it was splashed all over the front page of the Prophet! Well, my boss, Mr. Crouch was apparently Impriused by a death eater for more than 6 months. I was being sent instructions by You-Know-Who himself, while I was under the impression that it was Crouch sending it to me. I failed to notice the strange events happening around me… so yes, work has been just fabulous."
"Wow. And what about…personal life?"
"Are you a reporter who is going to print all of these in a newspaper?"
"Haha, no."
"Ah, that is …good, I suppose? I mean to say, what happened to your writing career?"
Penelope recognized the diversionary tactic, but decided to let it go. 'Later, I can find it out later.'
"Well, I haven't landed a job in the Prophet yet, no, but I am gaining work experience through the Quibbler." She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes, knowing what his opinion of the magazine was.
"The Quibbler? Well, I must say that that is a very daring magazine, I for one, read it sometimes. I have also gained a certain respect for it since Harry's interview… If only I had believed it when I had read it…" he said, surprising her.
"Huh?"
"I read the painful interview, but did not believe it since at the time I was…'brain washed' by my lust for my career."
"Yes. So you were with the Ministry?"
"Ah, yes. How I regret it now…" Percy shrugged as if to say 'well, what's happened has happened.'
"I was with the Ministry too. It's just that…what Harry and Dumbledore were claiming was so scary that I tried my best to deny. I didn't want to leave my comfortable position!" Penelope stated matter-of-factly.
"Same as Fudge. And the whole Ministry and possibly, the whole Wizarding world…" Percy smiled.
'He's warming up to me, yay, ask him, girl, go on.'
"And what did the rest of the Weasley family believe in? I assume that Ron believed Harry since he is Harry's best friend."
"The Weasley family believed Harry."
"I see, and then it must hard for you to defend what you believed in?"
"I walked out of the family."
"Oh. And what made you do that?"
"Well, like you said, I had to 'defend what I believed in'. Well, will you look at the time? It's really late. I hate to do this but I got to run. By, Penny, it was lovely talking to you."
"What? Uh, OK, bye." Penny bade him, startled.
'Crap and he never answered my original question. He is still good at driving me crazy…' Penelope shook her head as she watched him revolve on the spot and Apparate with a 'crack'! Humming, she started for her own little apartment in downtown London."I think I like that you seem sincereI think I like to get to know you a little bit more"
21st June, 1998.
Dear Percy,
How have you been? Haha, yes, I know that I ask that question an awful lot but I can't help it. I just wanted to let you know that I would like to meet you again. Is that possible? Suppose you tell me with a reply what you would be doing on 24th? I would like to cook you a dinner here at my London apartment, and catch up a bit. I have been a bit lonely; none of my friends from Hogwarts have really been in contact with me… Do tell me what you think.
Your friend,
Penny.
Dear Penny,
Yes, of course, we can meet. To tell you the truth, I have been friendless as well.I would be glad to meet you. The 24th is absolutely fine. Please don't burden yourself with the whole dinner. I will bring the appetizer and the dessert.
Yours Truly,
Percy Weasley.
24th June, 1998.
Penelope eagerly straightened her emerald green dress. She had earlier in the evening discovered herself making an extra effort to look good and it had puzzled her a bit. Could she still have feelings for Percy? She had asked herself. To that, she didn't know. But still, making sure that you look good in front of an ex is not bad, is it? She had stared confusedly in the mirror in front of her, the lip gloss still in her hand.
'Well, really, Percy. Stop with all the rubbish already.' Percy chided himself as he found himself looking in mirror constantly to make sure that his hair was flat. 'She invited you for dinner as a friend. A friend. So stop.' But yet, for the first time in ages, Percy was feeling a bit cheerful; the prospect of getting out of the dingy, little room was inviting. The thought of spending a whole evening with Penelope, moreover, was just amazing. He unconsciously ran his fingers through his hair again, and wondered if he should finally tell her 'how he's been feeling'. She was the first person in ages who had asked her that, and maybe he should pour his heart out to her. The caring person that Penny was, he knew that she would most likely listen to him. Or at least, he , scared and hesitant, Percy Weasley looked forward to his evening with Penelope Clearwater.
'Ding dong!'
"Coming, I am coming." Percy heard soft footsteps and the door was thrown open by a gasping Penelope.
"Wow, I--you shouldn't have." she croaked out the cliché line as she collected the bouquet.
"I know I should have, Penny, it is just polite."
"But you brought so much as well!"
"Yes, now are you going to invite me in?" he mocked her.
"Oh. Yes! I am sorry, come in, come in." she blushed.
"You look nice."
"Thanks…" Penny grinned.
"Your home is well decorated." Percy noted the neat, small apartment that reflected Penelope.
"Oh this? I did whatever I could afford to it…" Penny laughed.
All Percy could do was smile.
'Same old Penny.
'"So how has it been?" said, you guessed it, Penelope.
Percy laughed and retorted jokingly, "you wouldn't like the reply."
"Maybe not. But I am dying to know."
"Well, you know I walked out of the family, nice me, huh? And then I settled down in London…"
"Uh huh"
"And, I gave my whole family the most brutal treatment a son could give his needing parents…" he whispered softly.
"I… well, back in '96, when You-Know-Who was out in the open, I still made no move to apologize to my parents. And…basically, still remained the bad fruit of the Weasley family."
"And then what? Comes '97 and what's more, I didn't even visit my own brother's freaking wedding!"
Penelope continued to listen intently.
"When the last and the final battle approached, I finally realized what an arse I was being. I could lose my whole family and I was sitting here doing nothing! How could I do that? I should have joined the battle a long time ago and if only, if only…" he choked up.
Penny rubbed his hands. Percy desperately looked in her eyes, scared that she too would berate him for what he did. Condemn him to be all alone and to be the Weasley that nobody liked or cared about. But what he found there shocked him. He found warmth in the green eyes, instead of looking at him accusingly, Penelope was looking at him understandingly; she gave him a soft sad smile and whispered, "go on. Spill it out, love".
He felt a slight shock at the 'love' address but he continued, his brown eyes holding her green ones.
"I have been so alone, Penny, completely abandoned. My own mother hates me, none of my brothers talk to me and my sweet kid sister, Gin, she… she can't look me in the eye! The whole Weasley family is ashamed of me. The whole lot of them! And, really, who wouldn't be? I too would be ashamed of my son if I found out that he was the reason for the death of his sibling!"
Penelope looked up, shocked illuminated in her big green eyes."What do you mean?"
"If only I had joined the battle sooner. If, if and only if I had been there for them, Fred's death could have been prevented! It could have been prevented, Pen…" Percy Weasley gasped out.
"Listen to me, Perce. No, listen to me. You are not the reason for your brother's death. You are not. Do you hear me? You. Are. Not." she said firmly, looking deeply into his eyes. Her confidence started to wavered his belief. He looked at her, afraid to hope but yet he couldn't resist asking, "How do you figure that?"
"Look, what has to happen WILL happen. You and I can do nothing to prevent it. I could feel guilty for not joining the battle but you know what, I had my reasons. At least you came later, many people did not, you know. Many people turned tail and ran. They left their families and went into hiding to save their own arse, darling. Be proud that you never did that. You proved yourself a man, Percy Weasley. Know that you are brave and not a coward, and that you aren't to be blamed for your brother's death."
Percy rocked back and forth; his head in his hands. "Then, then, do you think that I am making a wrong a decision?"
"What decision, love?"
"To…uh…. To um.. 'sacrificing' myself …" he gulped.
"WHAT!? Are beep crazy?"
"Penny!"
"Oh….ugh… Humans. Never valuing what THEY have."
"Pens…"
"Listen to me: I think there's something more, life's worth living for. Who knows what could happen. Do what you do, just keep on laughing. One thing's true, there's always a brand new day... I'm gonna live today like it's my last day ." She sang in her sweet melodic voice to him. "Because… guess what? I have to LIVE IT THIS WAY. My days are slipping by, Percy. I am dying. And I want to hang on to life as long as possible and you are talking about ending yours? What kind of moron are you, really? God gives you this freaking life, this precious life, and you think about killing yourself? How I wish I could live till my 25th birthday, darling. HOW I wish. But, you know what? I won't. I CAN'T….!" she shook her head forlornly, a sad smile on her face; Percy watched as a single tear slipped out. He felt like as if he had lost control over his body; he became very, very cold with fear initially and then he started boiling with grief and embarrassment.
"I… oh Merlin, Penny, honey…" he rushed over and gave her a hug and felt her break down."I was diagnosed with cancer, Percy, two month ago, they tried everything. The wizards way and the Muggle way. There is no solution. I am not going to make it Percy. I will live a year maximum. A YEAR, PERCY, A YEAR!" she sobbed to him.
He stroked her hair and kept saying 'shh' to her for at least fifteen minutes. He felt terrible. Here he was, acting like Tragedy King while poor Penelope was suffering from something so much much worse than him.
"Penny, listen, look, I am going to be there for you, you hear me?"
"But how will you be there for me? You are gonna kill yourself…" she sniffed innocently; regaining her naughty self.
Percy rolled his eyes. " OK, OK, I am sorry, I shouldn't have been thinking like that. OK? I wouldn't 'kill myself' Mercy, girl!"
Penelope broke into a dazzling smile. "Great! So… what do you want to do now…?" she looked at him eagerly.
Percy stared at her, looking lost; Penelope found that he was leaning in, his eyelashes closer than what would have been comfortable; his eyes staring down at her lips…she stared at his as well, gulping loudly…T
he firecrackers do explode loudly in one's heart, Percy discovered….
And they also found out that making out can be certainly a very good past time. And yes, talking as well when they had time or breath.
--
Author's Note: And that's it! Long, I know, I know. But well, I actually planned to make this a one shot originally and then I found out that this would be a really long story, so I decided to compromise and make it a two fic! But writing chapter two will tell me if I this is going to be a two fic or a chapter-fic. Hehe. So…how did you find it? OK, boring depressing, stupid, weird, interesting? ANYTHING is appreciated, just tell me how you found it. , chapter two will be up REALLY soon. :)
Keep Holding On, amigo. ;)
Oh and I have a feeling the dates are a bit…yeah…mixed up. Don't mind them. I need to re-read the DH for the : Who Knows by Avril Lavigne.
The sweet BETA is: Know it all hermione. Thanks SO, SO much!