Beca couldn't understand it. She felt like she had been kicked in the stomach. It had gone from the best night of her life to the worst in only a matter of minutes.
A mere ten minutes ago she was up on stage singing with her Bellas. It was supposed to be all about her but it didn't feel right, she needed the Bellas with her, they were her family. It could not have been more perfect, she had sung George Michael's Freedom. She had chosen that song because for the first time she felt totally free. Free of whom she had thought she was, and free from what people wanted her to be, she was now free to make her own choices. I felt great.
It had felt so great that she thought now would be the perfect time to tell Chloe just how much she loves her. She could offer Chloe a future with her, not where Chloe would be dependent on her because Chloe had also found her own footing by being accepted to vet school. But together they would be stronger because they had always been stronger together.
After talking to some people about her performance she had only one thought on her mind and that was to find Chloe. She raced around and asked Aubrey who was talking with her father if she had seen Chloe, and Aubrey directed her towards outside. Beca headed that way and as she rounded the corner she stopped in her tracks, feeling like she had hit a brick wall. She had found Chloe alright but the problem was Chloe seems to have found Chicago's lips first.
She stood there in stunned silence watching, trying really hard to keep the bile that rose up into her mouth from making its way out. Her focus was thankfully pulled away from the sight before that happened when she heard someone speaking to her. Unfortunately for her it was Theo, can this guy not take a hint or what, she thinks to herself. She wasn't really listening to what he was saying but she's was pretty sure he had even made a stupid comment about how cute Chloe and Chicago were or something like that. She didn't care, she needed to get away. So she used him as an excuse to walk away from the heart break she was feeling.
She gets back to her and Chloe's shared room and looks around. She figures that she would be there alone tonight. Chloe would surely not be coming back here. Tonight would be spending her night in other room and in someone else's arms and probably someone else's bed.
The tears she had been holding in until she was alone start immediately. First they start with a slow flow from her eyes that she is easily able to wipe away but as the scene that is now burnt into her memory keeps playing over and over the tears come more freely and her body collapses on the floor as sobs overwhelm her.
She doesn't know how long she lies on the floor crying but she starts feeling dirty. With what little strength she has left she pulls herself up from the floor and makes her way to the bathroom. She turns on the shower and undresses. She slips in under the water and turns up the heat until she can feel it burn her body. She stays there crying until the water grows too cold.
She makes her way back into the bedroom, finds her suit case and chucks on a t-shirt and underwear. She climbs under the covers and prays that sleep comes quickly.
Sleep must have come at some point because she is woken by the feeling of arms snaking their way around her waist. At first she welcomes the warmth of the body she feels behind her. Leans back into it. It was a feeling that she was used to, it was a feeling that she had learned to love. Still half asleep she feels the arms around her shakes her little "Bec? Beca are you awake?"
"mmmmmm" Beca replies
"Oh my god Beca wake up. You were amazing. I can't believe how fantastic tonight was. You looked beautiful and sounded like an angel." Chloe says
"mmm Thanks Chlo." Beca replies
"God don't go back to sleep, wake up and tell me how it felt." Chloe says as she continues to slightly shaking Beca
Beca who had managed to forget what had happened earlier in the night turns her body so that she can cuddle Chloe better. When she does she is hit with the full smell of the cologne that is on Chloe's clothes, it's not Chloe's normal smell and that's when it hits her. The flash backs start, seeing Chloe in his arms and kissing him plays on repeat in her head. She pushes Chloe away from her and jumps out of bed to makes it in time to throw up in the toilet.
Chloe follows quickly behind and kneels down beside Beca to hold her hair back. "Becs are you ok?" Chloe asks with concern
Beca can still smell the cologne of Chicago and throws up again. Chloe reaches up to the nearby sink and wets a hand towel and puts it on the back of Beca's neck. "What can I do?" asks Chloe
"Nothing." Replies Beca
"Bec?"
"No, I am fine Chloe just leave me be."
"Beca let me help you?"
"No Chloe just back off." Beca shouts
"Beca?" Chloe says sounding hurt. She stands up and backs away from Beca
"Chloe look I am ok. Just, just give me a few moments please?" asks Beca
Chloe nods her head and walks out of the bath room. Beca spends a few minutes trying to clean herself up and heads back into the bedroom. Chloe is sitting on Beca's bed playing with the ring on her thumb, she looks up when she hears Beca come into the room.
Beca can still smell Chicago on Chloe and turns green. Chloe gets up to walk towards Beca but Beca puts up her hand to stop Chloe getting any closer. Chloe stops in her tracks, looking at Beca confused. "Can you please have a shower Chloe?"
"Why?"
"Please Chloe?"
"Tell me why I should have a shower?"
"Because you smell Chloe."
"I do not."
"Yeah, you do."
"What do I smell like?"
"Nothing don't worry about it." Answers Beca
"No, tell me. What do I smell like?" Chloe asks angrily
"Him. You smell like him." Yells Beca
"What?"
"Look don't worry about it, I'll just... I'll just go for a walk."
Chloe stands there stunned. Beca walks over to her suit case and grabs a pair of jeans out and a hoodie and starts to dress. Seeing Beca fully dress and headed to the door of their room makes Chloe move and she grabs Beca's arm. "What the hell is happening?" she asks Beca
Beca doesn't turn around but her heads drops and she stops walking. "Chlo can we not do this now?"
"Do what exactly because I have no idea what the fuck is going on."
Beca knows she's really pissed off Chloe because Chloe doesn't swear unless she is super pissed. Beca turns around with tears in her eyes and looks at Chloe. "Please Chlo, can we just forget this happened?"
"No... No we can't because I don't know what is happening and you are not going anywhere until you tell me."
Beca can still smell Chicago on Chloe's clothes and the smell is still making her feel sick but she is also feeling sick because she has opened a can of worms that she swore to herself when she went to bed that she wouldn't. "Chloe can you please just go and have a shower and we can talk when you are done."
Chloe looks at Beca, just stands there and stares. "Ok, I will go and have a shower, but so help me Beca you better be here when I get out."
Chloe knows her too well, she was going to make her escape while Chloe was in the shower but she nods to Chloe to let her know she will be still there.
Chloe has the quickest shower she has ever had in her life and finds Beca sitting on her own bed looking out the window.
"You're still here? States Chloe
Beca just nods but doesn't turn around to look at Chloe.
"Are you going to tell me what is going on?" asks Chloe
"I really don't want too." Replies Beca
"I think I have a right to know what the hell is going on since being near me actually makes you physically sick."
Beca finally turns around. She gets up and walks to Chloe and walks her backwards until her knees hit her bed and she gently pushes her down so that she is sitting and then she walks back over to her bed and sits facing Chloe. She doesn't say anything for the longest time because frankly she doesn't know where to start.
"Beca." Chloe tries "Beca tell me what's wrong."
Beca takes a deep breath. "Tonight was such an amazing night. I don't know when I had ever been so happy. I mean thought when we won the first ICCA championship I was happy, don't get me wrong I was happy and then we won every year after I was happy then too, but then when we won the worlds I thought life couldn't get any better than that."
"Beca you're rambling."
"Yeah, sorry. So where was I? I was really happy at those times and I was again really happy when we moved to New York, you know me, you and Amy. I was really happy. I had my two closest friends with me and I knew that with you by my side... and Amy, that I would be able to achieve anything."
"That's really nice Bec, and I feel the same way but that does not explain what happened tonight." Says Chloe softly
"OK so tonight was brilliant. I was up on stage singing with you guys, my family and I was singing and you guys were singing. I knew that I wasn't going to have to make bad music with bad musicians anymore..."
"Rambling." States Chloe
"Right well, so you know how I sang Freedom?"
"Yeah."
"Well you know it was George Michael's coming out song?"
"Yeah."
"Well yeah well I was using it and my coming out song too."
"What?" screams Chloe
Beca flinches at Chloe's volume but says "Yeah, I am kinda gay. Actually a lot gay. Really, really happy. GAY GAY GAY."
"Bec you never said anything."
"I was actually going to tell you tonight."
"Well why didn't you?"
"I went looking for you but when I found you, you were busy." says Beca softly
Chloe blushes "Yeah I was talking to Chicago."
"You were more than talking." Beca says with a bit of snark
"What's that suppose to mean?" Chloe bites back
"I don't know how you were talking to him when it looked like he was trying to eat your face off." Beca bites back
"What the fuck Beca?"
"Nothing, don't worry about it. It's stupid. I am really tired and I just want to go to sleep." Beca gets up to get into bed.
"Rebecca Mitchell don't you fucking dare."
Beca slowly turns around and sees Chloe standing there with her hands on her hips and fire in her eyes.
"Look Chlo, I don't want to fight. I just want to sleep and forget today all together."
"I don't really care about what you want at the moment. What I want is answers."
"I have no answers to give you."
"What's your problem with Chicago?"
"Nothing he seems like a really nice guy."
"But?"
"But nothing Chloe. I am really happy for the both of you."
"No you're not."
They stand there staring at each other. "Fine you know what" Beca starts "No I am not happy about you and army boy."
"Army boy?"
"Yeah Army boy, I means who is he? Do you even know anything about him? Are you going to become an Army wife and move all around the world when he gets redeployed?" shouts Beca
"First off" replies Chloe "I don't know a lot about him but that is what dating is for and if it comes to a time where his is redeployed and we are still together it would be looked at then."
"So you would just pick up and follow him to god knows where? Beca counters
"Well I have done that before." Says Chloe
"What?
"Nothing" says Chloe looking away
"No what are you getting at? Asks Beca
"I followed you to New York." Answers Chloe
"You wanted to come to New York."
"Yes, because that was where you were going." Answers Chloe
"Really?"
"Really you dumb arse. But that doesn't explain how you have acted tonight."
"I don't know that I can." Offers Beca
"Well how about you give it a try." Suggest Chloe
"OK, I didn't like seeing you kiss Chicago."
"Why?"
"Because..." Beca pauses for a few seconds and then storms forward and wraps one hand around Chloe's neck and puts the other hand on Chloe's waist and pulls her forward and kisses her. She stands there for a few seconds and realises that Chloe is not kissing her back.
Beca lets go of Chloe and takes a step back. "I'm so sorry Chloe" she mumbles as she keeps moving backwards away from Chloe.
Chloe raises her fingers to touch her lips. She can't believe that Beca just kissed her. She had dreamed about it for so long. It had been so long that she had figured that it was never going to happen. That was the only reason she had opened herself up to something with Chicago.
Chloe sees Beca retreating, apologising for the kiss but she can't let that happen, not after so long of waiting for it to happen. So she follows Beca until she reaches her and kisses her with so much force that Beca's knees hit the bed and Beca falls backwards on to it. Chloe just allows herself to fall right on top of Beca. The kiss gets more heated and Chloe's hands start to roam Beca's body. They undo the zip on Beca's hoodie and then she reaches for the hem of Beca's shirt and runs her hand underneath the fabric and starts to palm Beca's boob.
Beca pulls away as she moans at the feeling of Chloe laying heavily on her and going for second base. 'God that feel so good Chlo"
"You think that feels good?" Chloe mumbles against Beca's lips. Chloe raises herself just enough so that Beca can feel Chloe unbuttoning her jeans.
Chloe twist her hand around so that she is able to slide her hand into the front of Beca's underwear and plunge two fingers straight into Beca's wet folds.
Both Chloe and Beca mumble "Fuck"
"Do you have any idea just how long I have wanted to fuck you senseless? Chloe asks as she pumps her fingers inside Beca.
Beca can't form words. Having Chloe talk dirty to her while she pumps, curls, twist her fingers in ways that Beca has only dreamt about is driving crazy. With each thrust Chloe expertly palms her clit. Beca knows she won't last long.
"I have always wanted to know what it would sound like having you pinned under me helpless and screaming me name" Chloe says as she feels Beca's walls tightening around her fingers that she is thrusting deep into Beca as the jeans allow.
That does it, Beca falls over into the pure bliss of her orgasm calling out Chloe's name. Chloe slows her pace to help Beca ride out her orgasm but never pulls her fingers completely out. When she feels like Beca's breathing starts evening off, she starts again pumping hard and fast into Beca and all Beca can do is digs her nails into Chloe's back as she holds on as a second climax jolts through her body.
Chloe takes her hand back and makes a show of licking her fingers clean. Beca watches and moans again as she feels the want in her to build for a third time. Chloe smirks as sees Beca watching her lick her fingers clean of Beca's juices.
"Fuck Chlo."
"You taste so dam good Beca. I need you naked right now. I need you to ride my face." Chloe says as she gets off Beca and starts to undress Beca.
"Fuck "is all Beca can say as she tries to help Chloe undress her. But before Chloe positions herself at Beca's entrance, Beca stands and pulls at the bottom on Chloe's shirt and lifts it over her head. She then puts her hands on either side of Chloe's sleep shorts and yanks them downwards, ensuring that the underwear was gone too.
Once Chloe is naked she pushes Beca back down on the bed, kneels in front of Beca's knees and spreads them open. She places one knee over her shoulder, leans forward and takes one very slow, long hard lick.
"Chloe I need you."
"I love it when you beg." Chloe takes another slow long lick and pauses at Beca's engorged nub and sucks on it hard. She starts rolling the nub around with her tongue. Every now and then taking another long lick, she starts plunging her tongue as deep into Beca as it can go, making sure she gathers as much of Beca's juices as she can.
Chloe starts to feel Beca buck up into her face, and she loves the feeling of Beca's juices covering her face. She enters one finger inside Beca as her tongue concentrates on the vibrantly red nub. She adds another finger and then finally a third. It takes only a few strokes and Beca is squeezing her thighs together so tight Chloe's head it caught between them. It doesn't stop Chloe from licking and sucking the gift that is right there. It isn't until Beca is pushing Chloe's face away from her entrance and pulling her up into a searing kiss that Chloe stops.
"Fuck Chloe, I can't move."
"I told you I dreamt of fucking you senseless"
"Well congratulations, you have succeeded."
"I don't think I have because obviously you can still give me sass."
"I can show you exactly what I can give you once I regain the ability to move my limbs."
"It seems to me that there is still a mussel that is working fine and would do nicely." Chloe suggests
Beca moans again as scoots her way back on the bed. Chloe follows Beca and places her knees on either side of Beca's face. She grabs on to the head board with one hand as she looks down at Beca "Are you ready? Asks Chloe
Beca doesn't answer, she just reaches up with both arms and guides Chloe down on to her face. Beca could smell Chloe the closer she got to Beca face and she could tell that she was going to love the taste of her. She was right, after the first few licks of Chloe's wet folds she moans and plunges her tongue as deep into Chloe as she can.
She feels Chloe starting to ride her tongue. Having Chloe ride her face was amazing, nothing could had made her happier until she felt Chloe's free stroking through her on folds and lightly pinching her clit. She starts bucking her hips up to meet Chloe's fingers, Chloe takes the hint and leans a little back until she was able to push three fingers straight into Beca dripping cunt.
Beca tries really hard to ignore the building climax, so she concentrates on pleasuring Chloe. She swaps her tongue for three strong fingers and uses her tongue to stimulate Chloe clit.
"God Beca. So close don't stop." Beca doesn't plan on stopping. She feels Chloe tighten around her fingers and works harder, twisting and curling her fingers and then she feels it, Chloe's juices running down her hand and face. Chloe stills as she comes all over Beca's face, which causes Beca's own climax to hit for a fourth time.
Beca collapses back on the bed and Chloe shifts herself backwards and sits on Beca's hips. Chloe lazily runs her hands softly over Beca's ribs and palms Beca's boobs but Beca is to sensitive that she reaches up and grabs Chloe's hands and intertwines their fingers. "Chlo stop, my body can't take anymore." Beca says with a smile
"Are you sure? Chloe asks with a smirk
"God yes. I already think I won't be able to walk for a week."
I really don't mind the idea of you being bed ridden for a week." Chloe says with a wink
Beca looks up at Chloe and smiles "What now?" she asks
"What do you want to happen now?"
"I really didn't like seeing you kiss army boy."
"Chicago, him name is Chicago and he is a really nice guy." Answers Chloe
"Well I didn't like seeing you kiss Chicago."
"And I didn't like watching you kiss Jesse."
"What's Jesse got to do with this?"
"Well" Chloe says rolling off Beca to lay beside her. "Well the night you first kissed Jesse was the night I was going to tell you how I felt."
"What?"
"It doesn't matter now." Replies Chloe
"Yeah it kinda does." Answers Beca
"Ok then, well I supposes it started right at the very beginning, the Activities Fair. I knew I was attracted to you then, which is why I was trying so hard to convince you into joining. But then you singing my lady jam, naked in the shower, I was sure I had met my soul mate, your voice just did things to me.
And that first year was my happiest, we had gotten so close and I had finally convinced myself that you felt the same way. So I decided that regardless of the outcome of ICCA's I would tell you how I felt. I tried to catch up to you after we left the stage but you ran straight into his arms. I was shattered. But I couldn't believe that you didn't feel the same way, so I failed Russian Lit to give us more time."
"You failed three times Chloe."
"I know." Shrugs Chloe
"But why would you do that?"
"It just got to a point where I couldn't bring myself to leave you. I was your best friend, I still am. I guess being with you as a friend was better than not having you in my life at all. So who really cared if I stayed at Barden an extra couple of years, I didn't. I wasn't all easy though, actually a lot of it was hard, watching you be with him. But even though you were with him, when we were with a group, you were always, always with me. So I hung on to the belief that you really did love me but didn't know what to do about it. I needed to give us more time."
"I'm sorry Chloe, I never realised that I was hurting you. "
"You weren't hurting me. You didn't know. I was the one who put myself through it. I could have left at any time and I chose not to. You do realise that I speak fluent Russian don't you?"
Beca laughs "No"
"Well I can, I have always been able too."
"You're a nerd, you know that right?"
"Maybe. So anyway then we move to New York and your single, for the first time in years and I was so excited. I thought finally now we have a proper chance. But even after months of sharing a bed in our cramped little home, nothing. Sure we cuddled at night, came home to each other every day, but it really hadn't changed. You were still as far away from me as you were the first time you kissed Jesse,"
"I wasn't you know." Beca starts "I had known for a long time that I had feelings towards you. That confused and scared me so much. It had never occurred to me that I might be gay. So I stayed with Jesse, he was safe, simple nothing that would rock my world if things fell apart. It was easy. I still had you and I had Jesse and I am not saying that I strung Jesse along or that I was stringing you along because I wasn't. I didn't know. I didn't understand what my feelings for you meant. It wasn't till you went out on that date, you know the one just after we arrived in New York. I had never felt such jealousy in my life. That's when I realised that there was no mistaking I was gay and that I was head over heels in love with you."
"You're in love with me?" asks Chloe
"Well yeah that's what I have been trying to say."
"You suck at words, you know that right."
"Yeah I do, which is why I have always preferred music."
They lay beside each other playing with each other's fingers. Not saying anything just letting everything they have said sink in.
"So what about Chicago?" asks Beca
"Chicago?"
"Yeah I mean, was this just a onetime thing or..."
"You mean a four time thing." Laughs Chloe
Beca blushes "You know what I mean."
"Do you want more?" asks Chloe
"I want it all." States Beca as she sits up to look at Chloe. "I want to wake up with you every day, I want to come home from anywhere and know that you will always be there."
"I always have been Becs"
"I know and I am sorry ..."
Chloe cuts Beca off "There is nothing for you to be sorry for. I made my choices. But now you know my choice has always been and will always be you."
"So were a thing now?" asks Beca
"We are definitely a thing." Answers Chloe
Beca leans down and captures Chloe's lips, her hand coming up to cup Chloe's face. "I seem to have gotten my strength back" Beca's mumbles against Chloe's lips
"Yay for me." Chloe laughs as she pushes Beca onto her back.
"Yay for me too" Beca says as she guides Chloe into straddling her.
Chloe enjoys the view of Beca under her and grinds herself down onto Beca. Beca moans because she can feel just how wet Chloe is. As Beca starts to buck up into Chloe to get some friction Chloe puts her hand on Beca's chest to slow her down. Beca looks up in confusion as to why Chloe is slowing things down. "Bec, we need to get a bigger place?" says Chloe
"A bigger place, we are going to talk about that right now?"
"Yes because no matter how much I love Amy, I will not be doing this (Chloe grinds her hips down on to Beca) while Amy is in the same room."
"Fine, we will get a bigger place. But tell me are you going to be having all our serious conversations while you're sitting on top of me?"
"I seemed to have worked out pretty well, so probably." Laughs Chloe
"What have I gotten myself into? " Beca laughs back
"Me, definitely me?
"I love you awesome nerd." Beca whispers
"I love you too." Answers Chloe