A "poisonous" present

With a tasty cigarette in his mouth, Spy makes his way to his office to settle down in his comfortable armchair and enjoy a glass of wine.
His route leads him past the common room, where he sees Scout and Soldier sitting on the couch. Normally, the Frenchman would just ignore that, but just as the two of them are very interested in bending over something, it makes him curious. And indeed, the two seem to read a book.
Since when do the two airheads read?
Soldier starts laughing and Scout grins like a Cheshire cat. It seems to be a funny book.
Maybe Aiméric could also take a quick look. They don't notice him. He positions himself behind the two and looks over their shoulder.
What the…?
The whole text is completely in German.
Annoyed, Spy strikes Scout's back of his head with the flat of the hand. It echoes throughout the room.
"What are you doing there?"
"Oh no… The stick-in-the-mud."
"What is that?" Spy takes them the book away. "Whatever that is, it belongs to Medic. And I 'ardly think 'e allowed you two idiots to read it."
"It's his diary." Scout says that with an almost swollen breast of pride.
"…what?"
"His diary! Come on, read it too!"
"Certainly not!" Aiméric wants to shut the book but something stops him. "What did you laugh about? You two don't understand a word of German."
"Cupcake wants to give the commie a present."
"Or he got a present from him. No idea, it's about a gift anyway."
"Wherefrom…?"
"There's the word gift and Heavy's name. So we just put one and one together."
"Don't talk nonsense." Spy sighs beaten. "All right. Show me the passage."
"There."
It's the last entry. From today.
Contrary to Aiméric's good breeding he begins to read the text in the diary. Because something made him wonder.
He has to read the text several times to understand the content correctly. However, this has nothing to do with the fact that German could be too difficult, but because the English word gift is contained in it. And more often Spy reads this text, the more uncomfortable he feels.

Manchmal habe ich das Gefühl, von meinem Team nicht den nötigen Respekt zu bekommen. Aber Heavy ist da anders. Daher werde ich ihm morgen ein Gift geben. Ich habe mir etwas ganz Besonderes für ihn einfallen lassen.

"Spy? Hey, Spy! What's wrong? What is written there?"
"Spit it out, Frenchie!"
"It just doesn't make sense…"
"What?"
"It says that Medic intends to give Heavy a poison."
"Wat?!"
"He wants to poison Heavy?"
"That must be a mistake. 'e wrote that 'e doesn't feels to be respect by us. Except from Heavy and 'e wants to give 'im a poison because of that."
"Are you sure that means poison? Maybe it has another meaning."
"Imbeciles! There is only one meaning for the German word Gift. Poison!"
"So he really wants to poison him?! That actually doesn't make sense. Or maybe it does."
"And 'ow do you explain this meaning?"
"Sure thing! If Heavy is really the only one who still respects Medic, then he wants to kill him before he loses his respect for him. Do you understand? If he kills him before this happens, his respect for him will always be safe. Or maybe you cannot speak German as well as you always say, Spy."
"Shut up." Spy shuts the diary. "I will bring this back. You can only 'ope that 'e 'as not noticed the absence of 'is diary yet, otherwise the good docteur would divide you into four parts."
"Yeah, yeah. Come on, Solly! Let's hide Demo's alcohol while he's drunk."
Laughing, the two walk away.
Again Spy sighs.
I better bring the diary back as soon as possible, otherwise I'll get into trouble with Medic.
"...there goes my glass of wine."

So Aiméric makes his way to the infirmary. To be on the safe side, not to be discovered, he uses his watch to make himself invisible.
The infirmary is empty, except for the doves, so Spy makes himself visible again. He can only guess from where the two idiots stole the diary from. A drawer of the desk is lightly pulled out. Aiméric prepares to put the book in there but pauses. He has to admit that the writings of Medic leave him no peace. Of course, it's nonsensical to think that he wants to poison Heavy. But…
"Spy?"
Aiméric jumps startled, while the diary slips out of his hands and falls into the drawer. He whirls around to the voice and closes the drawer with a skillful movement of his bottom.
"Docteur!"
"Everything okay? Can I help you?"
Medic approaches Spy at the desk.
"No no. Everything is all right. I just wanted to..."
"Yes?"
"I.. I er… I am looking for my snake. You didn't see her, did you?"
"Your snake?" Medic's voice becomes sharp. "No, I didn't. Because if I had it, I would have slayed her with my reflex hammer."
"But Docteur…"
"You know very well that I cannot stand it when your reptile meanders around here. Especially where my doves are."
"I assure you that she doesn't eat birds."
"She is a tree snake. What do you actually think, why she's named that?"
"Okay, okay. She's not 'ere anyway."
"I hope for her."
With a fake smile, Spy says goodbye and leaves the infirmary. He does not need to worry about his snake. She sits safely in her terrarium in his room. But he's a little worried about Heavy. Poisoning someone doesn't mean that you want to kill someone. You can also poison someone to make them sick, so that you can care for that person. Medic is a doctor with heart and soul. And Heavy and he are indeed best friends. But would he really do that? He doesn't feel well respected by his team, except Heavy. Is Medic so hurt that he is now completely focused on Heavy? Does he wants to distract himself?
Maybe the idea that Medic wants to make him sick and then take care of him is not that outlandish.
Maybe I should keep an eye on Medic.
The entry was from today. So he will poison Heavy tomorrow. If Spy has only one hint of suspicion, he will intervene immediately.

The next day, Medic stays in the kitchen all day. Anyone who tries to enter will immediately be chased out. Every day Aiméric thanks for his watch. There is hardly a better way to poison someone than by food.
Medic cooks some alien dishes. Spy takes a look at the open cookbook. They are all Russian dishes.
Soljanka
Blini
Rassolnik
Pelmeni

Spy isn't familiar with Russian food, so Medic can put all sorts of things in there and Aiméric will not know if it's poison or spice.

In the evening, when it's all done, Medic calls Heavy. This one makes big eyes when he sees all the Russian specialties.
"Doktor…"
"Überraschung!"
"Is that all for Heavy?"
"All for you. Sit down please."
Heavy pleasingly obliges and the doctor serves the first dish. It's a soup.
"I don't think I've got it as good as your mother, but maybe you'll like it anyway."
"Doktor, good intentions always taste good."
"Hahaha!"
Good intentions, hm? We'll see if the good docteur has such good intentions.
Heavy takes the spoon in his hand. Spy gets nervous. Even a spoonful could have fatal consequences for the Russian.
He leads the spoon to his mouth. Medic sits next to him and watches him with a smile. A smug smile? Or is it confidently?
The spoon has almost reached his mouth!
Oh! Mon Dieu!
"No!"
With a powerful blow Spy sweeps the plate off the table. Heavy froze in his movement. Aiméric takes the spoon away from him and throws it down too. The whole soup is distributed on the floor. It's blood red.
Medic shoots up from his chair.
"Spy?!"
The Frenchman makes himself visible and stares at Medic angrily.
"What were you thinking?"
"Excuse me? I should rather ask you that! What is wrong with you? I have been in the kitchen all day long!"
"Yes I know that! I watched you all day after all!"
"And why, if I may ask?"
"Because you want to poison Heavy!"
"What…?!"
Medic looks very perplexed. Heavy on the other hand horrified.
"Whatever gave you that idea?"
"Because I…umm…"
"He has read your diary!"
Suddenly Scout and Soldier are standing in the kitchen.
"You did WHAT?"
"Yeah! And he wanted us to do that too! Right, Soldier?"
"Positive! But we refused. To read the diary of an ally is an act of treachery!"
"Thank you, you dumbbells."
"Doktor, what are they talking about?"
"If I only knew..."
"Okay, I admit I threw in a look. It said that you want to give Heavy a poison."
"What? I never wrote that! Where is that written?"
"Here!"
Scout holds Medic's diary out to Spy.
Spy cannot believe they've ransacked Medic's desk again.
"'ow attentive, you little spitfire. Nothing is sacred for you, isn't it?"
"I'm just trying to help."
"You put me in this position!"
When Aiméric turns back to Medic, he looks very, very angry. He crossed his arms over his chest and rocked his foot up and down.
"We'll talk about that later. First tell me where this nonsense is written."
With a nod, Spy opens the book, finds the passage and slides it across the table to Medic. He leans over it and reads his last entry.
In the kitchen it becomes quiet. Even Heavy doesn't move. You can see that he is more than confused.
"Oh…" An amusing grin scurries across his face. "I actually made a mistake."
"How should that be a mistake?"
"Well, I wanted to write Geschenk, but in fact I wrote Gift. Well, that can happen when you have to speak English day in, day out."
"The whole world should only speak English!"
"Shut up, Soldier."
"It doesn't surprise me that you are not surprised that I wrote that I didn't feel respected by you. But how could you if you just rummaged through my things and shamelessly read my diary."
"Docteur-"
"So, now that we could clarify the fact that I didn't want to poison Heavy, you can wipe away this mess here."
As soon as Medic said that, Scout and Soldier were already gone. Spy wants to use his watch to make himself invisible, but Medic points with a small bottle directed on him.
"This is citric acid, so don't even think about it."

Merde.

While Spy is scrubbing the floor, Heavy enjoys the other dishes.
"Doktor is good cook."
"Oh, vielen Dank."
After Heavy finished his meal, he wants to clear the table.
"No, let it be, Heavy. Spy will do that. Don't you, Spy?"

"And while you're at it, you can do the dishes, too. There is a lot left over."
"Can I at least put some other clothes on before? I don't want to ruin my suit."
"You should have thought of that in the beginning." Medic knocks on his diary. "I had never thought you would."
"Docteur, I…"
"If you want to make amends, spare me with your excuses."

Scout and Soldier. When I get my 'ands on you, I will kill you!

Two days later:

Scout and Soldier sit (once again) together in the common room on the couch and make fun of something. When Spy gets closer in the invisible state, he can watch them play with a crab.
"Don't you think the cattle looks like Spy?" Scout laughs.
"Both are maggots!"
"I think not."
Aiméric now makes himself visible and the two are not very pleased to see him.
"What are you doing here?"
With a big grin, Spy leans over the backrest down to the two and puts an arm around their shoulder.
"Now, now. Why be so inimical all of a sudden?"
"What do you want, Frenchie?"
"Just wanted to see what my two favorite teammates are doing."
Scout and Soldier look at each other skeptically.
"Then look at this."
Scout holds the crab in front of Spy's face. It immediately grabs with it's scissors and pinches Aiméric's nose.
With a cry of pain, Spy moves away from the couch.
Scout and Soldier laugh.
"A-hahahaha. Yes, very funny. So I'll leave you on your own, then. Keep going."
"We will. Now go away! You are annoying."
And Spy is going. He heads for the kitchen where Medic and Heavy are sitting together. Heavy eats a sandwich and Medic drinks a cup of tea.
Aiméric is reluctant to disturb this idyll.
"Hello, Docteur."
"Spy…"
"I'm really sorry I'm bothering, but I 'ave an important information for you."
"Can't that wait?"
"That could be wait, yes. But last time you got so upset about your diary. I just thought it would interest you again."
"My diary…?" Medic's voice becomes sharp.
"Oui. Scout and Soldier 'ave taken your diary. They are currently sitting in the common room."
Without another word Medic is jumping off the chair and rushes out of the kitchen. Spy will not miss out on that and follows him.

"Scout! Soldier!"
The two turn around in surprise to the doctor.
"Hey, Doc! What's up?"
"What's up? I will tell you what's up! Come across with my diary right away!"
"What?"
The two look aghast, but that does not deter Medic.
"We don't have your diary! For real!"
"Ach really?" Medic rushes over to the couch, takes a quick look, and then begins to search. He quickly finds his diary behind a pillow. "Aha. And what is this?"
"It wasn't us! Isn't it right, Solly?"
"Negatory!"
"That… that was Spy!"
"Don't make me responsible." Spy shrugs innocently with his shoulders.
"You've plant this thing on us!"
"'onestly. If you've screwed up, you should adhere to it."
Scout jumps up. "We are innocent!"
"That's enough! No healing for you two for two months! As for me you can croak on the battlefield!"
And that's how Medic walks out of the room. Scouts and Soldiers mouth are wide open.
"Hononon! You've just landed yourself in a whole load of trouble."
"Fuck you, Spy."
Scout throws the crab in Aimérics direction. The animal lands in his face, pinches him again in the nose and this time doesn't let go.
"Ooowwwww!"
"Maggot."
"Yeah…"