Part 3 of the Solecism Series
Oh, gods.
Yuma's palms slow their roaming on her back, but they stay there even as she draws away from him. Gumi feels a grimace trying to fight its way onto her face as she places her hands between their chests. Shit.
He stares in silence, waiting. His pink lips parted and swollen, blown pupils peeking through his messy locks.
This all should be attractive.
Nai thinks she feels like it is as she gulps, the fieriness of her cheeks suddenly coming to her attention. She looks away quickly, flustered as her heart thumps harder against her chest. And yet…something has a hold of her, is keeping her from being swept off her feet, warding off the blur of euphoria that she thinks would follow when in a compromising position.
Was it nervousness? Was she tired? As soon as she considered it, the feeling just grew stronger.
Self-respect. comes a snarky reply in her head, speaking in her own voice. She tries paying no mind to it, but she ends up worrying if he noticed her flinch.
"Um…" Gumi begins, eyes meeting anything but his. She hesitates as she tries looking at him again, somehow disappointed that this all wasn't a dream. A sigh escapes her, causing Yuma to (finally) removes his hands from her back. He slips them into his jacket pockets, moving away. But not far enough.
"You okay?" He asks. His voice is the kind of husky that is described as 'sexy' in all the romance novels. It grates against her ears. She tenses up as he tries reaching for her shoulder. "…Sorry."
There it was. The dammed slump of his shoulders and the frown that she tried for so long to get rid of. She feels guilty, but it doesn't weigh her chest down as much as she thinks it should.
"Yeah," she manages, voice cracking as her cheeks burn, "I'm fine."
He doesn't seem convinced, eyebrows furrowing, frown lines etching into his forehead. Did you just say that? You're not fine. You're not-
Gumi shakes her head, grabs him by the tie and pulls him closer again. It helps little to dismiss her thoughts. She momentarily wonders in amazement at how quick his arms are around her again. Their lips meet. Gumi tries so hard to listen for fireworks, to feel butterflies in her stomach. Her cheeks don't feel warm, her heart isn't beating like it should…like how his heart is.
When will it go blurry?
(When does it stop?)
When will it feel good?
They part for air, and she can only briefly commend herself for the gasp she makes when he moves down to her neck. But then she can see everything. What she's doing with whom and where they are. She feels like the tie of her uniform is strangling her even as fingers work to loosen it. Her fingers, because she's supposed to do something, not be a cold fish.
She feels cold without her jacket, scared without it covering all of her. It feels like everything is screaming at her to stop him. Make it stop-
The bell rings.
Yuma moves away abruptly, clearing his throat. He scrambles to fix his shirt and ties his jacket around his waist over his-
Gumi blinks owlishly, almost choking on air. She pretends to look outside to see if anyone was about to open the door. Nai zips up her jacket all the way up for good measure, offering a forced laugh when he smiles and says "Cute," She doesn't remember if she smiled wide enough when he opens the door for her, but knows just how she hugged her bag tighter than usual as she walked past the principal's office.
Never again. Never, ever, EVER. Gumi's shoulders slump, cold hands of disgust and shame wrapping around her throat as she slings her bag over her shoulder. She checks the time on her phone, seeing his face on the lock screen while she does. His smile lights up an entire room, she once thought. Well, it still does but…
She still feels his hands around her, but finds herself smiling when she recalls the twinkle in his eyes. Ironically so, he looked like a little kid winning a prize. Nai ignores the other things that being a "prize" could symbolize (an object-), and deliberately focuses on the one that boosts her confidence. It makes her feel better when she remembers how he smiled at her before she left. She decides she can feel better about it if he smiles. She hates it when he's frowning anyway.
It felt good. She tells herself. This is fine. If he's happy, I'm happy.
Gumi nooo...
Those that have read my other works will know this is very, very different to what I write. Lemme know what you think.
- Jae