Disclaimer: All right, let's get this over with: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion, any other registered trademarks, et cetera. The story may contain OOCs and/or other really weird things (I wrote this ex tempore). Rated T for explicit language and mild sexual content.

This fanfic is my second one, but the first wasn't complete when this is being written as I tend to get fed up with things rather quickly. But this was finished. Yay!

Chapter 1: Bilingual Pleasures

Gendou Ikari's office

Year 2015

Gendou was sitting at the desk in his dark big office. Fuyutsuki stood next to him. They both looked dead serious. Gendou's fingers were crossed in front of his face, as usually. He was peeking out from behind his eyeglasses. Fuyutsuki glanced carefully at him, staying in the vigorous position. Then, after considering the consequences, he dared to open his mouth and yawn. Gendou immediatly turned to the man and looked at him angrily. Fuyutsuki felt how a drop of sweat began to trickle on his forehead. He was looking straight in front of him. Gendou turned away and switched back to the previous position.

The sweat drop was currently travelling on Fuyutsuki's nose. It slowly arrived at the tip and dropped on the floor. Gendou stood up, took out his handkerchief and wiped the sweat off the floor. As he was returning to his seat, Fuyutsuki was preparing to ask a question. 'He's gonna kill me', he thought.

"Um, Gendou...?" he asked. The man didn't take out his gun so it was probably a good sign. "Are you still... mad at me?"

"Yes." Gendou answered immediatly.

"But, it was just a game."

"Nothing is just 'a game' to me. Everything is real, serious and true."

"Come on! We played with Pokémon trading cards. They're so out anyway."

"Still."

"Besides, I beat you fair and square. Pikachu can't possibly defeat Charizard."

"It would have if you had cut me some slack. You're always so serious, Kouzou."

"So, I'm serious now?"

"I'm don't have time for this." Gendou blurted and stood up. "I have a meeting with SEELE."

"No you don't. The annual pool party, remember?"

Fuyutsuki was right. The SEELE committee held a pool party every year in Florida. Usually Gendo was invited, but after the incident in 2013, Gendou was mysteriously left out of it. Gendou had a little too much orange-flavoured sake, and he won quite many tequila drinking contests.

SEELE private ranch, Florida

Year 2013

"What's that noise?" wondered Keel Lorenz while exploring the contents of the smorgasbord. "Look, meringue swans! Caterers have done a great job this year, haven't they?" he asked from one of the guests when he heard the noise again. "Who's shouting there? Go and have a look, my fair lad."

It took a moment for the man to understand. "What, me? Go yourself, I don't know you." he said and proceeded towards the bartender and ordered a screwdriver.

"How rude!" Keel said and began to move to the direction of the sound. When he arrived into the room, he saw Gendou singing karaoke on a bar counter, rather badly.

"What are you doing, Ikari?" he snarled.

"Heey, Keel! Come shing with mee!" Gendou said while stumbling to some glasses which fell on the floor flying to bits.

"Stop that at once!" he demanded.

"But thish ish fun. C'mon, man!"

"Security, there's drunken man here. Come get him."

"Why did... why you doo that...?" Gendou tried to come closer to Keel, but he was grabbed by a couple of security guards. "What kind of... drunken revelsh are theese? Let mee go..."

Gendou Ikari's office

Year 2015

"Those damn hypocrites," Gendou cursed, "Can't a man loosen up for just once a year?"

Fuyutsuki coughed, "Well, you did behave quite -"

"I'm not going to stay and here and listen to you moralizing." Gendou snapped and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"None of your business," he said and disappeared through the door.

Fuyutsuki began to stare at Gendou's chair. He strolled around it, and finally sat down "Whoa! This chair's so comfortable. Maybe I should start planning on how to overthrow Commander Ikari..."

"The intercom is on, Fuyutsuki," said Gendou's voice on the phone. "Take care of things for me there, okay?"

"Yes, Commander."

"And get off my chair."

"Of course, Commander." Fuyutsuki said and rose up.

---

As Fuyutsuki was enjoying the feel of Gendou's chair, yet again, Shinji showed up at the door. "Oh, sorry. I thought I'd find my father here."

"You just missed him. Can I help you?" the older man asked. He saw that Shinji concealed something in his hand. "Say, Shinji, what's that in your hand?"

"Oh, nothing."

"It's alright, you can tell me. I can keep a secret," he said softly and came up to Shinji. He had to back up a bit. "A present for a girl, perhaps?"

'Is this guy really that dumb?' "Yes it is, Vice-Commander," the boy said with an innocent voice.

"Well, sure, you're in the age already. I guess your father hasn't talked about these things, has he?"

'Oh great! He's gonna tell me where babies come from.'

"You can always come to me if you have questions about this stuff. If you think about it, I actually introduced your mother to your father. I'm quite a matchmaker."

"Yeah, sure. Now my mom's dead and my dad's an emotionless monster. Gee, thanks Dr. Love." Shinji said and put his head down.

"But think of the bright side: you were born."

"Sometimes it feels it would be better if I wasn't," the boy said quietly and walked away.

'Strange boy, indeed.'

---

Dr. Akagi was looking tightly at the computer screen. Asuka's synch ratio had dropped again. "Just a few more minutes, Asuka," she said, "Try to concentrate harder, your synch ratio isn't the best."

All of a sudden, Gendou appeared at the door. He walked straight up to Ritsuko and grabbed her into his arms. "Make love to me, woman!" he said with a low dumb voice.

"Not now, Gendou. I'm in the middle of --," she tried to resist but Gendou put his lips against hers and gave her a french kiss.

"What in the name of...?" Ritsuko gasped due to the oxygen deficiency. "Was that your tongue?"

"Yes. I learned the move in a book 'Bilingual Pleasures'. What do you think?" he asked.

Ritsuko was shocked by this. "Um... Well, it was... new."

"Would you like to... you know?" Gendou suggested with a sly smile on his face.

"Not right now. I have to get Asuka's synchro test ready."

"It can wait, Ritsuko."

Entry plug of EVA-02

At the same time

'Great. Just great. I spent another day in this capsule just to be told I suck. I bet Wondergirl and that wussy are happy about my failure. I'm so gonna kick their asses.' Asuka was sitting inside the entry plug, with her eyes closed. She smelt the stench of the LCL.

"Ritsuko, can I go now?" she asked with a frustrated voice. "Ritsuko, are you there?" She opened her eyes and saw one of the most horrifying sights. Asuka couldn't close her eyes, even though she was trying. Someone started singing Halleluja in the back.

"AAAAAAARRRGHHHH!"

If Dr. Akagi had watched the monitor, she would have seen how Asuka's brainwave pattern slowly faded into a straight line.

TO BE CONTINUED...