Hope. Freedom. Security. Comfort.

These are the four words I've been dreaming of my entire life. My whole life however has been filled with the opposite.

Hopelessness. Captivity. Sorrow. Pain.

My life could have been worse but It could have been much better too. My mother died when I was 7, my brother was 8. That left us with our cruel father Marcus. Since I can remember I've always associated the word father with cruel. He's a evil man and I can't pretend differently. Ever since I was 6 my father has beat me and my brother. He's sexually abused me multiple times but that didn't start until I was 10 1/2. The only light in my world of darkness and pain was my brother Tobias Marcus Eaton.

I always called him Toby. He was the only person, who I thought , in the world loved me. He would always be there for me and he promised me when I was 9 that he would never leave me.

"I'll always be there for you Am. I'll never let any serious harm come to you. I promise."

When I was younger I believed him but now I can see that was a lie. My brother promised me that'd he would always be there but he left me when I most needed him. When he was 16 and I was 15 he left Abnegation for Dauntless. With my brother no longer around Marcus's attacks on my quickly escalated and became worse. After my brother I vowed to never trust anybody.

I'm jolted from my memories and thoughts though when a light flickers on in my room. Marcus walks in and shakes me, "Amarie! Get up I said. You've got 5 minutes or else your backside will be raw for a week." He gives me one last shake and exits my room.

I nod and get up quickly, throwing on my grey Abnegation clothes that barley fit. Marcus hasn't gotten my clothes since I was 14 and though it's only been a year I was what you call a late bloomer. Once I turned 15 though I filled out plenty quick. The clothes still fit but just barely. I then brush my hair and my teeth and rush downstairs.

Marcus isn't down yet and that's a blessing. I quickly put breakfast on the stove and begin cooking it while making him some coffee. He comes down a few seconds after everything is ready. He's fully dressed and shaven, the perfect Abnegation. He seems perfect but I know what cruelty lies beneath his fair and trustworthy façade.

I quickly serve him breakfast and head towards the door. I have to walk to school since Marcus forbids me to go on the bus. Before I leave though I hear him from behind me. "Amarie! Aren't you forgetting something?" he asks.

I turn and realize his shoes aren't tied. I give a small sigh and walk over. I bend down and tie his shoes quickly. "Now may I go?" I ask a hint of impatience in my voice. Which was my second mistake of the day.

He promptly smacks me on the cheek, "You will be respectful towards me young lady!" he tells me, a glare in his eyes. "Try again."

I roll my eyes. "Can I go?" I ask the sarcasm clear in my voice. Something about today was making me hate him more than ever and my spitefulness was coming through. Marcus proceeds to slap me twice more on both cheeks and it stings like hell. My third mistake of the day.

"Amarie." He tells me, "I'll give you one more chance to ask me politely."

"I'm going." I tell him curtly and walk towards the door. Which was my fourth horrid mistake.

Marcus grabs me before I can take two steps and throws me down on the couch. So my back is towards him and my face is down towards the cushion.

"Amarie you should know better than to speak to your father like that. He pick's me up off the couch and throws me to the ground. "I have a meeting to go to but as soon as I get back you're getting your backside whipped. And if you move an inch I'll beat you till hell won't have it."

I nod "Yes father." I say in my most respectful tone. I've gotten myself into enough trouble as it is. "Good." he nods at me.

He proceeds to get all his materials together and heads out of the house, not even giving me a second glance.

As soon as he leaves I burst into tears. I'm angry at him for forcing me into this situation. I'm angry at myself for getting into this situation. And I'm angry at my brother for not being here to prevent the situation. As I sit there a memory resurfaces.

A younger Marcus stand over me. "Really Amarie I don't understand you sometimes. Now sit on the ground and don't move until I tell you." I nod my head and he walks upstairs. I can hear the faint sound of his door slamming shut. The instant his door is closed Toby comes out from where he was hiding underneath the kitchen table. He rushes forward and quietly hugs me. I let out a small cry but he quickly silences it. "Am you gotta be brave." he tells me, "You have o be strong." he says again, locking eyes with me. I nod my head and wipe the tear away.

"No tears." I tell him. He nods and wipes at my eye again. "No tears." he confirms. We sit there for a while. Me and Toby on the ground, Toby with his arms wrapped around mine in an embrace. We sit in silence but we both took comfort in each other's presence. We were both essential to each other then.

We don't hear Marcus as he comes downstairs. I don't remember exactly what happened but I can recall bits and pieces.

Marcus yelling, Toby yelling, Marcus grabbing Toby. I remember Toby screaming and me screaming, calling him a monster. The beating is just a blur of whipping, bruises, and small screams and whimpers. I can remember though after that. Marcus grabbed me and hauled me upstairs to his bedroom. Putting a blacked out Toby on his bed. That was the first time he violated me. I had been 10.

As I sit and think I remember memory upon memory all involving Toby.

As I sit there all day you may ask, what was mistake one?

Mistake one is one I make every day, over and over. Mistake one is not telling anybody about my father and the monster that he really is.

Sooo This is a remake and sorta updated version of the original story. I fleshed it out a little and I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter and sorta a sneak peek at this new story.

I hope I get positive feedback and comments from you guys and feel free to post criticism as long as it will help me and it's stated in a polite way.

Again I hope you enjoyed!

~Cio

SxKxBxH