"Things break, but they can still grow" - Rick remembered when his dear friend said those words to him. That was a long time ago, yet they still resonate now as he and Michonne face a separation. Will Rick be able to move past his covetousness to make changes in order to repair the rift between them? Will his jealousy and anger get the best of him? Was his friend right, can something continue to grow after it has been broken? Join us in answering these questions as the ever-talented and charmingly witty RichonneLvr218 on Tumblr (MsWriterTee on FF) brings the first chapter of this saga to you.

Be sure to check out her other works on her FF page. You can find her at MsWriterTee.

-We're The Ones Who Write

Chapter 1

"What are you doing?"

Rick entered the bedroom, closing the door behind him with more force than Michonne found necessary. She stuffed the extra pairs of jeans and shirts into the faded orange backpack, ignoring her husband's question. Some inquiries just didn't warrant a response.

"I see Carl found you," she said instead, hating that things had come to this, but seeing no other recourse.

"Yeah, he found me." Rick stomped over to the bed, and snatched up the backpack. "You can't be serious. You're taking him and Judith and leaving me?"

"We're giving you space."

"Don't want it," Rick tossed the bag to the corner. "I want you here, in our bed, in our house with our children. That's what I want."

"And you want Negan in that cell, you want to play protector of me because I took a beating when I was caught off guard, and you want to pretend everything is a-okay when it's not. I don't want or need any of that, Rick. I want things the way they used to be."

"It can't be that way anymore. Too much has happened and we have to adjust to the changes. That's what I'm doing."

Expressive blue eyes swept up and down her body. Michonne shuddered, feeling exposed and aroused by his pointed ogling. An enticing combination of reverence and pure lust. That look was Rick's personal switch that turned her on at will, and if there was anything that could combat it, she hadn't found it yet.

"One thing that hasn't and won't ever change is us. What we have and how we are. He pushed her locs off her shoulder. "I need you."

His lips worked their magic, trailing gingerly up and down her neck, suckling and nipping her earlobes and throbbing pulse points. Delightful shivers raced up and down her spine and goose bumps sprang.

"I love you so much, Michonne."

"I love you, too. This isn't abo…"

His tongue in her mouth served as an effective muzzle, silencing her words with its seizure of hers. Coherent thought abandoned her mind. Rick pulled her close, grinding against her, his hands molding her backside. His arousal pounded with salacious intent. Her body burned and wetness steamed her panties from the fire he ignited in her.

A single look and touch and she was putty in his hands. One of those capable hands had found its way into her jeans and between her slick folds. Her breath hitched and knees buckled with the brush of his finger against her clit. Before she knew it, their jeans were around their ankles and she was bent over the bed with Rick's rigid cock slamming deep into her heat, bringing them both to a swift, loud, and thunderous release.

When her breathing normalized and she felt her weakened legs could keep her upright after the awesome quickie, Michonne pushed her booty against Rick's pelvis and stood straight, releasing his softening member from her dripping walls. This was another reason why she had to go. Their intimacy was like a bandage that covered the wounds they didn't want to see. Their love and attraction were strong and their sex life thriving, but finding dizzying pleasure in each other's arms only prolonged avoidance. They couldn't do that anymore.

Rick groaned and pulled his face from the crook of her neck, ending his kisses.

"Where are you going?" he practically whined.

"First, I'm going to clean up, and then I need to grab a few things for Judith."

Stepping out of the jeans, she retrieved some fresh underwear from the dresser and headed to the bathroom.

"Grab a few – You're still leaving?" he said, staring wide-eyed as he pulled up his pants.

"Yes." Needing to put distance between herself and Rick's stupefied expression, Michonne closed the bathroom door behind her and washed up. Once refreshed and in her undies, she returned to the bedroom and Rick's myriad of objections.

"After what just happened here, you're just gonna walk and take Carl and Judith?" He tugged at her underwear and snaked his hand under her shirt, squeezing a satin and lace covered boob. Her nipples ached for attention, straining against the soft cups. "Give me a few more minutes and I can change your mind. I know I can."

She swatted his busy hands away, unable to concentrate with his touch adding unwanted distraction.

"You're confusing things, Rick." He snatched up and inhaled her damp panties as she reached for her discarded jeans. He stared at her intently, saying not a word, just breathing deeply while she pulled on the jeans. Michonne shook her head, he wasn't right. Rick made her like a dripping faucet. Why did she even bother putting on more panties?

She fought the urge to throw him on the bed and go for round two, and instead grabbed the backpack from the corner. They needed verbal talk, not body talk.

"What we have and how good we are together is not the problem. The problem is the choices you've made that are becoming a bigger problem for our family and could come between us. I know this, and you know it, too."

Rick stuffed the panties in his shirt pocket and plopped on the bed, scratching his fingers through his hair.

"I didn't make the choice to leave Negan alive for who knows how long before we could kill him."

Michonne lowered the bag and sat next to him.

"I know that." As the community leaders, Maggie, Ezekiel, and Natania had joined Rick in agreeing on death for Negan. That was easy. However, the additional members of the newly formed council, two members from each community and a former worker from the Sanctuary who was added as sign of good faith and inclusion, felt that killing Negan when they were all so angry and bloodthirsty would make them all no better than him.

With the start of a new civilization and no interest in being likened to this man who got such obscene pleasure in killing, a period of calm before the execution was suggested and agreed upon. With thirteen members, there would never be at tie and the majority would rule.

They were building a new world with rules they had all agreed to abide by. A return to a semblance of normalcy. But this new normal had brought on some unexpected challenges for the two men in Michonne's life, especially in regard to Negan, and she had to rein it in before it was too late.

"You didn't choose to keep him alive, but you are choosing to keep him here."

"The cell is here."

"That's an excuse. There are cells at the Sanctuary. Daryl and Sasha were held in those cells, so that doesn't work. He didn't have to be here."

"I wanted to keep my eye on him."

"Obviously, but there's more to it than just that. We talk, but not directly about this issue with Negan. Maybe it's the fact he's a dead man walking and he's done so many horrible things, but you are wrestling with something when it comes to him. I've seen it for months."

"I'm wrestling with the fact I want to kill him now. He beat Glenn and Abraham to death. He had Olivia shot dead on a whim, and though Spencer was a piece of shit, he disemboweled him right on the street." Rick pointed to the window facing the front yard. "Right outside this house, and he did all of these things in front of Carl. I want to kill that son of a bitch." Rick clenched his fingers. "I want to choke the life out of him, bring him back, and kill him again!" He pounded his fist on his thigh. His nostrils flared. "But I have to wait until I can somehow hide the glee killing that murdering bastard will bring. I swear, I don't know if that day will ever come!"

"Do you see it?"

He huffed, "What?"

"The anger. You are so angry, and you won't talk about it. Why?"

"Because it frightens me. The anger he makes me feel frightens me, and I don't want to frighten you with it. I'm dealing with it."

"Are you?"

"I'm trying. Finding out my wife is taking our children and just leaving me doesn't make it easier," he said with a sideways glance.

"This isn't easy for me, either, but it's necessary. Carl has been visiting him. Did you know that?"

Rick's wide eyes and sharp breath confirmed he didn't.

"What?" he barked.

"Yeah. I can't say how long it's been going on, but I saw him walking out of the cell, and he admitted it wasn't the first time."

"Fine. I'll talk to him."

"And say what? Carl thinks of himself as a monster. He said that about himself. And he does things, dangerous things, to prove to himself it's not true."

Michonne recalled Carl's desire to aid the stranger surrounded by walkers when they were on their way to Terminus, sneaking on the truck and riding into the Sanctuary to confront Negan, and how he almost got himself killed helping Siddiq save the souls of walkers. The souls of walkers! When Carl told her about that and then swore her to secrecy, she had never been so angry. He could've gotten himself killed and for what? Now was the time for action.

"Carl is a wonderful young man who has been forced to do some unimaginable things, and those things haunt him, but they don't make him a monster. I don't want him to think he is anything like Negan or have that thing put nonsense into his head. Negan is evil incarnate. He is the worst of the worst, and there is no good reason for Carl to be seeking him out for anything."

"Is this why you're leaving?"

"That's part of the reason. Even with Negan locked away, I cannot have Carl and Judith around that man."

"What's the other reason?"

"You. Rick, you need to confront this anger Negan is fueling. It's about more than waiting for his death. We all hate him, but he is going to die. That's done. This should be bringing you peace, but it's not, and that tells me it's not just about Negan. I think it might be about Shane."

Rick sighed deeply but said not a word. His silence spoke for itself. She was definitely on to something.

"You've only mentioned him to me once, the day Negan first showed up here, and I don't think it was by chance. I wish I could help you with this, but I know I can't. What I can do is give you space. You need it. We need it."

"Why do we need it?"

"Because you once said we could lose each other and still go on. This separation will test that."

Rick groaned. "Come on! When I said that…"

Her grunt ceased his words. "It doesn't matter why it was said, you needed to say it, and now we need to put everything on the line in this fight for us that we did in our fight with Negan. You've been hovering over me since the beating, and while I appreciate your concern, I don't need to be coddled or protected. It was a little sweet at first, but it stopped being that a long time ago, especially when you strut around like some prize rooster."

"You're punishing me for loving you?"

"This is not punishment." She gazed at his crotch. The recent memory of his thick cock sliding in and out of her throbbing pussy so tangible it felt like it was still happening. "You would know punishment, Rick Grimes, and this is not that."

He swallowed audibly. "Why does that sound like a threat?"

Michonne shrugged. "You tell me." Several quiet seconds passed. She enjoyed their lovemaking way too much to ever use holding out as punishment, but if he could have his 'turn on' switch she needed something to balance the playing field. "I'm doing this for the children, for you, and for us. Carl and Judith need to be away from Negan, you need to shine some light into the darkness you're battling, and you need to get a hold of your over-protectiveness of me so I can be me. It's overbearing."

"Are you going to the Kingdom?"

"Uh-huh."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"I am working closely with the rebuilding and defense efforts, so it's the logical place. I can get up early, finish late, and not have to worry about driving back. It gives you less to worry about in regard to my well-being."

"Is that the only reason you're going there?"

She laughed derisively, shaking her head. "I am not doing this with you. I explained why I'm leaving."

"Why don't you see it?"

"What?"

"The way men look at you. Especially that new guy over there. The way they undress you with their eyes." Rick grunted. "You say I strut around like a prize rooster, and you're right, I do. Because I have the prize and they don't. So, yeah, I'm proud and cocky as hell. I have reason to be. But if you leave…"

"I am leaving."

Rick winced. "Michonne."

"But I'm leaving for our good. I don't want anyone but you, but I also know we need this time apart," she cupped his cheek and raked her fingers through the thick stubble of his beard. He sighed, nuzzling her hand. "I love you, Rick. This will make us stronger."

"Being away from you doesn't strengthen me, it worries me."

"Carl being near Negan worries me. I need to focus on him, and you need to focus on your demons."

"And if I can't?" The moments of silence spoke the possible fears neither wanted to vocalize. "I love you."

"That means you can do it," she softly kissed his lips and held him close, fighting the tears burning her eyes for release, "We can do this."

"For how long?" Rick clung to her, his voice low, raspy from the tears he was sniffling away.

She held him tighter, succumbing to her tears. "Not a minute longer than necessary."

~*~*~*~/~*~*~*~

"Are you okay?"

Michonne kept her eyes on the road as she considered Carl's question. The simple answer was no, but this family didn't do simple.

"I'm dealing," she said.

"That's not an answer."

"But it's the truth."

"I'm surprised we left. I thought Dad had changed your mind. It sounded like…" Carl stopped abruptly and cleared his throat.

Michonne turned to him, his flushed cheeks giving away what his words didn't. She turned back to the road. It seemed Carl had heard them. She had been absolutely mortified when Carl and nearly a half dozen of their friends saw her and Rick stumble out of his bedroom half dressed after their first night together, but they were married now and she'd long gotten over it. Now Carl was the one always embarrassed. She and Rick tried to keep things down, but they clearly weren't having a lot of success.

"I'm not angry at Rick. I just…We need some time apart."

"Because I visit Negan?"

"I don't understand why you do that."

"You want me to explain?"

Hell yeah! Michonne nodded.

"I would love some clarity, yes." She checked the rearview mirror. Judith had fallen asleep. A couple of minutes in the car was better than a lullaby for that little one. The drive to the Kingdom would be at least another hour, so they would have some time without the three-year-old interrupting.

"It's not out of respect or anything and it's only been a few times," Carl said. "I want that to be understood."

"Okay."

"A few weeks before the world changed, there was a special assembly at school where prisoners came to visit. They'd shared stories and talked about how life was before and how it was for them now. They wanted us to see what could happen if we made the wrong choices. I thought I would never forget it, but then the world changed, and I not only forgot, I changed with it. I talked back, wandered off, lied. Losing Mom made doing the wrong thing easier to do. But I had Dad and then you came along, and you both guided me. Still, even with you two, sometimes I'm afraid I'll choose the wrong path again. Negan is horrible. He keeps me scared straight. I don't - I don't want to be a disappointment to you and Dad. To embrace the monster in me."

"Carl?" Michonne brought the car to stop, remembering Judith sleeping in the back the one thing that kept her from slamming on the brakes. She threw the car into park. "Listen to me right now and don't you ever forget this. You are not a monster and you can never and will never be a disappointment to your father and me. We love you." She brought him into her arms, holding him close, kissing his forehead. "You and Judith are everything good and wonderful in this world and nothing will ever change that." She pulled away, holding his face. "Do you hear me?"

Carl nodded. "I hear you. I don't need Negan to remind me of what's right, right?"

"You will never need him for anything ever. Tough choices are a way of life now, but your goodness will direct your choices, because that's what's in you," she said, tapping her finger into his chest. "Evil is what's in Negan, he's going to die, and the best of this world will continue."

"If we're going to continue with the best, does that mean we're going back home?"

Michonne put the car in drive and continued down the road.

"Not yet. There's work to be done at the Kingdom, and I want to help get it done."

"Without being under Dad's or someone else's watchful eye, you mean?"

"You've noticed?"

"I only have one eye, but, yes, I've noticed. It's because he loves you so much, Michonne. I was with him when he thought you'd fallen from that roof."

"But I didn't die, and I'm okay. I need him to see that, and this time apart will do it. There are a few things Rick needs to deal with by himself, too. You don't worry about us, Carl. Everything will work out."

"Will it?" he said, neither looking nor sounding very confident.

"Yeah." She nodded and then nodded more. "It's gonna be fine."

~*~*~*~/~*~*~*~

Rick stayed rooted in the same spot beside the gate for who knows how long. He'd watched Michonne and the children drive away from their home and him. It needed to be done. Michonne had said that several times. Hearing those words from her beautiful lips had been hard, it cut him to the quick, but living with this new reality would be his biggest challenge. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out those black panties, breathing in her scent. He grew hard and sad.

She was right. He'd been overbearing, but he was motivated by love. Those horrifying moments when he'd thought she'd fallen to her death continued to haunt him. The short-lived relief at discovering it wasn't her was replaced with the new horror upon finding her nearly beaten to death. She was fierce and capable, he knew that, but he also knew those close calls had been too much. He couldn't risk losing her, so he held on too tightly. As a result, here he stood all alone, with only Michonne's panties and her scent his comfort. He sighed. How the hell did this happen?

Negan. That bastard had taken so much from them, and as he awaited death, he was still taking. Again, Michonne was right. He saw shades of Shane in Negan. Not the old friend he'd loved so much, but the lost soul Shane had become at the end. The crazed man that Rick had been forced to kill when his dear friend confronted him with a loaded gun and plans to take Rick's place as husband, father, and leader. Negan encompassed who Shane was at the end. A man who thought he had all the answers and wanted what he wanted when and how he wanted it.

He didn't want to kill Shane, if he could've waited, if he could've put it off, he would have, but he had no choice. Shane had forced his hand. And here was Negan, a man Rick knew he needed to kill, yet he had to wait to make it happen. To find a way to lessen the thrill ending this man would bring, to somehow find it as simply a duty and not an anticipated honor. Unlike his response to killing Shane, Rick knew he wouldn't shed a single tear for this man. Negan wasn't even a man. He was a heartless snake in the grass who had killed indiscriminately.

Rick had killed many people over the years, but he had never gotten pleasure in taking a life. Negan had changed that. Rick relished the idea of killing him. That was a fact. So, what did that make him?

Getting joy in killing was Negan's wheelhouse, and here he was walking that same road. He had never seen this waiting period as anything more than torture. But when Michonne left with Carl and Judith, forcing him to confront these feelings and Negan's role in their lives, he reasoned this torture could be salvation. The thing that would keep him from going down the rabbit hole and becoming the evil he sought to end. Rick returned the panties to his pocket and started walking and thinking.

The day Negan entered their lives with his full force had started like a normal day. Rick had woken up with Michonne in his arms and life on a string. His family and friends were close and safe, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so carefree. It seemed the moment Michonne left their bed that things started to unravel. One thing after the other. Fear and uncertainty had plagued him throughout the day, what had already happened and the unknown on the horizon that was sure to make things worse, and when the sun rose the next day, life as he knew it had been forever altered. Gone was carefree living, Negan was in charge.

The days that had followed had passed like years. Rick had never been so broken, so completely hopeless, but like the miracle she was, Michonne had reached him when he was at his lowest point, making whole his broken spirit and reigniting his will to fight.

Later that same night, before Gabriel and with Carl and Judith, they'd promised themselves to each other forever. Michonne always knew what he needed, even when he didn't. She was right; he needed this space she'd given him. This time, that had seemed like forever, had already made things clearer. Rick stopped walking when he found himself at Negan's cell. He knew what needed to be done.