Suffer in Silence
The coolness of the bricks he stood leaning against made him shiver. But he didn't care. Levi stared up at the grey sky. Water droplets clung to his bangs, plastering them to his forehead. Other droplets made it down his cheeks. Sliding down until they dripped off his chin. Like tears.
Aren't you going to cry?
He grimaced. Crying would not solve anything. It would not bring them back. Ever. No matter how much you screamed and wailed. No matter how much you prayed and asked. They would not come back. None of them.
All had made a choice, after all, even if it was not really their choice, was it?
"Levi, thank you."
He squeezed his eyes shut. Imagines played back, replaying themselves over and over in his mind. He willed them to stop. But it did not help.
Heh, what was new.
000
It came out of nowhere.
One moment he was perfectly fine, the following moment he was bent over a trashcan. Dry heaving until his meager breakfast came up. It went on until there was nothing left but sour bile. Strings of saliva clinging to his chin.
Fucking disgusting.
He closed his eyes. Trying to breathe through the pain that was setting his chest on fire.
"Levi, thank you."
Huh?
His eyes flew open. The content of the trashcan below his nose swimming in and out of focus.
A new wave of nausea washed over him, and it felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest at any moment. It hurt.
He dry heaved again.
"I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry."
He wasn't even aware of the muttering that escaped his mouth, repeating again and again. Like a mantra.
Neither was he aware of the droplets that were sliding slowly down his cheeks until one dripped off his chin.
He looked down at the dark spot on the wooden floor that was swaying dangerously beneath him.
A sharp intake of breath.
Huh? When had it started to rain?
All the mistakes are mine.