He catches himself staring at a wall, eyes slowly dimming as he stares forward lifelessly. The soft mumble of words slowed to a stop, silence taking over the room.
'Oh,' Logan thinks to himself. 'This again.'
Again because this isn't the first time it has happened. This all-consuming emptiness that seemed to take over at the most random times. Random because it truly was. There was no pattern, no triggers, nothing. It just appeared and buried itself deep into his very being.
His eyes felt heavy as he stared forward. He forced his eyes to follow his commands, looking down at his hands that were still. The pencil he was using still in his hand pressed against the paper, a word halfway completed.
Logan blinked his eyes slowly, looking up at the ceiling of his room.
He could still control his body, lifting an arm up as the pencil left his hand, but it did not feel like his own. He felt like a puppet, his limbs moving as he instructed them to but it wasn't his body.
He felt nothing. He felt blank. He felt like he was just an empty shell of a human. A shell that took the place of the real Logan.
A knock at the door and a soft voice made him turn his head.
"Hey Lo?"
Patton, it had to be Patton. It didn't sound like Virgil. Roman was loud and would rather use a nickname such as 'Pocket Protector', 'Glasses', 'Nerd' or something similar.
He can't reply though, no matter how much he wants to. Words die in his throat before they can be spoken, his mouth is clamped shut, tight like a vice.
Everything feels empty.
"I guess you're busy..." Patton's voice floats through the door. "Well, I just wanted to tell you that dinner will be ready soon! If you don't come down for it, I'll be happy to bring it up for you!"
Why would he do that? Patton is nice. But why is he nice to you? You're a shell of a human being at the moment, you don't deserve it until you can fix yourself and get back to normal.
The silence hangs in the air.
"I'll, I'll just go then... Just don't overwork yourself Logan!"
Footsteps fade away and he can't bring himself to care.
He needs to fix himself. Acting and feeling like he was right now was foolish. There was no reason why he couldn't stand up right now, no reason why he couldn't open his mouth and let the words come out as he wanted them too.
But every single time, he could never get past this barrier that seemed to keep him locked in.
Every time he would be defeated. Resigning himself to staring at the ceiling until he finally felt alive again.
Because at times like this, Logan was nothing more than a ghost. A memory of what he used to be. The crushing emptiness rose and it ate at him from the inside. And he would submit to it, letting it take it's course until it finally left him alone, let him be human again.