It had to be done. (Hangs head, ashamed) I admit it, Pokemon was what got me into fanfiction. But hey, it was back when I was like, what, 11? Since I'm not taking this seriously at ALL, it's okay, right? Right? Anyone? Yes? No? Maybe?

Disclaimer: I no own, you no sue.

Author's Note: I know, I know. Who ever thought Rin could write something OTHER than angst? It suprised me too. Does it make me insane to say I still play Pokemon on occasion, or just a dork? What about the fact that I used my Gameshark to actually make a Flying Snorlax, just so I could see what happened when I put it on Stadium? Meh. I love my Fatty.

This fic is a parody. In no way should you take this seriously.

The Flying Snorlax

by Rin

Once upon a time there was a Snorlax that could fly. He was a very hungry Pokemon. He caused chaos all over the land, eating the greenery in one location, and then flying to the next. The people were very upset, especially over their destroyed shrubberies, and demanded compensation. The Police Jennys tried to capture the Flying Snorlax, but he was very, very strong, and very, very fat. The Jennys could not beat him.

Somewhere else, there was a girl who lived in Bodiddlydoo, a town so tiny not even the people who lived there knew its name. This girl's name was Dumpy, and she was not very smart, nor very pretty. In fact, she was not good looking at all. She did not have any money, and the only friends she had were her parents, and they didn't count. What Dumpy did have, however, was very good cooking skills, and common sense – the rarest thing in the world. She was also very strong.

Dumpy turned ten and set out on her Pokemon journey. Because nobody liked Dumpy, she got a Magicarp, which she named Useless. He was as useful as his name. But Dumpy discovered that his scales were very, very hard, and that he was tough to hurt.

And being the sensible girl she was, she realized a way to level up Useless so he could become a Gyrados and kick the other Pokemon's butts. So everytime Dumpy and Useless came across a Pokemon, she threw Useless at it very, very hard. And they always won.

So Dumpy and Useless traveled across the land for two years, getting stronger. By now, Useless was a Gyrados, and he was now very very useful indeed. And because they had beaten so many people and Pokemon up, they now had money. Dumpy was just as ugly as before, and Useless was even uglier than he used to be. But that was not important.

The Flying Snorlax was still causing mass mayhem in the land. But the poor thing had eaten all of the only thing he liked to eat – shrubberies – and now there were no shrubberies at all. This made him very sad.

One day, he smelt a most wonderful smell. It made his tiny nose twitch, his mouth water, and his rotund gut growl. He followed this wonderful smell to a beautiful forest clearing, where it just so happened that Dumpy and Useless were staying. Dumpy was making a breakfast of porridge and boiled Twinkies ™, and it was this which was creating the most delicious smell. The Flying Snorlax gestured to Dumpy that he wished to eat her food, and Dumpy gave it to him. Dumpy had common sense, and it told her that you did. Not. Keep food from a Snorlax. Especially a fat one like this fellow. So the Flying Snorlax happily ate the scrumptious meal of porridge and boiled Twinkies ™. He was so distracted Dumpy threw a Pokeball at him and he was captured.

Everyone was very grateful to Dumpy, and for a short while she was liked by everyone. But then Dumpy gave her Flying Snorlax the name Fatty, and used him in battles. He had a incredibly powerful attack – Acme Drop – by which he would fly above the Pokemon, and then fall, turning the enemy into a very flat pancake. Those smushed by Fatty were lucky to get away alive. Everyone was scared of Dumpy and her two Pokemon Useless and Fatty. Because Fatty killed so many Pokemon, no one even fought them any more, and Dumpy was promptly named Pokemon Champion and Mistress of the World.

Dumpy, Useless, and Fatty lived happily ever after. They were very rich, very strong, and everyone else was terrified of them. Dumpy got plastic surgery and became very beautiful. Fatty was still fat, Useless was still ugly, and Dumpy was still stupid. But that was not important.

Because Dumpy was very sensible, Useless was very scary, and Fatty could squash anyone they wanted. And really, that was all that mattered.

The End! Yay!

Read and Review Please! And if you must flame me, please offer polite criticism, and explain what I can improve in polite, civil language. After all, we're all people here. All violators of this reviewing policy will be vaporized in my BLENDER OF DOOM.

………Thank you.

Okay... not that this fic ISN'T beyond saving...