STORY!-Bachelor #1

Chapter 1- Meet Ranma… the stoner.

A/N- HHHHIII! Slap Adam 91, Nyx Vasquez, and I LUV Anime O.O Are coming at ya with a FUNNY story on Ranma and Akane… and a roach.

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Ranma was walking down the street, eyes blood shot being dragged by his father.

"I Wanna meet MMMEEEE!"

"Quiet boy! AH! The Tendo Dojo!" Genma said barging in and yelling. "TENDO!"

All the tendo girls and father came. Akane looking at druged out Ranma asked. "Who are YOU?"

"I'm uhh… uhhh Whats my name HAHAHAHAHA!" Ranma asked.

"RANMA!" Genma shouted

"AHAHAHA! RANMA! I have A FUNNY NAME BWAHAHAHAHA!" Ranma then passed out.

"Um… Is he drunk or something?" Akane asked while magically grabbing a stick and pocking him on the side.

"uhhh, Try stoned." Genma shook his head disipointedly.

"LIES ALL LIES! I didn't sleep with the hooker on 32nd street!" Ranma shouted in his stoned sleep.

"Well, I need a drink." Genma drug his stonner boy into the Tendo dojo, Akane still poking him with a twig.

After Genma had ten gin and juices before Ranma started to wake up.

"Uhhh, where am I….Who's the Hottie with the boobies?" Ranma looked over at Akane.

"Why I never! You stoned pig!" Akane punched the stoned black haired boy.

"wooo-hooo! Boobies and she can fight!" Ranma hit the ground laughing.

"PIG!" Akane started to kick the half baked boy.

"Pig? ME HUNGRY!" Ranma screamed, having a seizure on the ground.

"SHUT UP YOU IMBECILE! I SHOULD KILL YOU!" yelled Akane, going red in the face and pulling out her mallet.

"Im… something. Must remember that. Pork… yum. You look yummy. Can I roast you over a fire?"

Akane began to repeatedly smash the boy into the hard ground, but apparently he thought it was a roller coaster or something to that effect, because he began screaming and yelling "WOO-HOO!"

"THIS IS NOT A CARNIVAL RIDE!"

"I can't feel a thing! Literally! Hit me harder! Wheeee!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Wanna go make out?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Ranma is humping Akane's leg. "Unprotected sex rocks."

"DIE YOU BASTARD!"

Akane smacks him with her steel, Totosai-forged mallet into LEA (Lower Earth Atmosphere).

Somehow, he thinks this is a merry-go-round, and begins yelling "FASTER HORSIE FASTER! RIDE 'EM, COWBOY!"

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Ranma, finnaly returning to earth unconscious is sleeping in his room. Well… it actually Akane's but he fell through the roof into her room.

Akane came in screaming. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!"

Ranma still passed out turns around saying. "NOT THE pretty pony MOMMY! It will hurt ME! PPOONNYY! PRETTY PONY!"

Akane started to laugh her ass off. "AHAHAHA! So you DREAM OF PONYS!"

"THE STRIPPERS ARE ON THE PONY! THEY SCARRREEE ME!"

"PERVERT!" Akane yelled waking him

"What…. What happened?" Ranma asked waking up. "Why does my head hurt? OH CRAP! I got TO stoned! POPS GONNA KILL ME!"

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Ranma sat on the bed, his blood shot eyes Scanned over Akane's back side, smirking lightly as he got to her ass.

Ranma stood up and patted her ass, and walked out of the room before she could react.

Akane stood there stunned, a cutie stoner boy had just grabbed her ass…"Pervert!" Akane stormed out of the room after Ranma, the hard core stoner, ready to kick his ass.