Jace sat up against his pillows, panting. He was bathed in cold sweat and his sheets and blankets were all tangled around his feet and legs. His heart was racing and he just couldn't think straight. Then, the nightmare responsible for waking him up in such a start began to recall on his mind. He had been in some kind of dark forest, firstly alone. Then, a giggle sounded from behind him and, as he turned around, Clary was there. She smiled for him and moved forward, taking his hand and entwining their fingers together. Jace smiled back and she pulled him down for a kiss, her hands playing with his hair as their tongues collided and fought for dominance. His hands found their way to Clary's waist and he held her tight, fingers sometimes grazing the bare skin of her arms, then sliding back to hug her closer to his body. Clary's hands traveled down from Jace's hair to his neck, then his shoulders, collarbone and chest, where she took her time to feel each of his muscles and trace his runes with her finger tips and nails. Jace made a sound from the back of his throat when her hands traveled further south, reaching his belt. He smiled against her lips as Clary reached between them and her fingers unbuckled his belt and tossed it on the ground with a thud. Soon, his smile turned into a groan as she caressed him through his pants. His hands fumbled to remove her top and he gasped at the sight of his Clary standing in front of him with only a bra covering her small, perfect breasts. She bit her lower lip and her green eyes found his golden ones. Jace took his shirt out and pulled her for another kiss, groaning in pleasure as Clary wriggled her groin against the bulge on his. He pushed her until her back was against a tree and her hand found its way on his body again... And then, Jace suddenly had blood on his hands. Clary gasped and tears welled up on her eyes as her hands pressed her stomach and she fell to the ground. Jace knelt beside her and pulled her into his arms, unsheded tears burning his eyes as a sob escaped his lips.An arrow, covered in blood, was sticking out of Clary's abdomen."No, no, no... Clary! Stay with me!" Jace said, his voice a mix of despair and worry. He rocked her back and forth, holding tight as if this only action could save her. "please don't leave me, I love you, stay with me Clary, I need you"Clary said nothing. The fear in her eyes had faded to a calm that unfortunately Jace knew well. The calm of those leaving forever. Clary smiled up weakly at Jace and then closed her eyes, to not open them again.
Jace shook his head in a failed attempt to get his mind out of that terrible dream, but he simply couldn't. He reached a hand out and got his phone from the nightstand to check the time. 3 am. Great.
With a sigh, he kicked his blankets and got to his feet, then left his bedroom. The Institute was dark and quiet, and Jace walked carefully to not wake anyone with the sound of his steps. He barely jumped out of his skin when his body bumped into someone as he entered the kitchen. He swore under his breath before stretching a hand and flicking the light switch on.
"Clary?" Jace asked, blinking at the sight of the red haired girl in front of him. He had completely forgotten that his girlfriend would expend a few nights at the Institute in order to train with him, Alec and Isabelle.
"Jace, oh my God, you scared me!" said Clary, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"Are you okay? You look a little, I don't know, shocked" she asked, touching Jace's arm. Before she could notice, he had engulfed her into a tight hug. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply, taking in her sweet scent. Slowly, Clary's arms came around Jace and her hands rubbed his back, feeling him tense and then relax under her touch.
"Hey, you're scaring me. What's wrong?" she said, "Jace, you're shivering! Are you cold? Talk to me"
Jace shook his head and took a deep breath.
"You died. You died in my arms, Clary" he said, his voice muffled against her skin.
"Bad dreams, hun?" said Clary, "it's okay Jace, it was just a nightmare, don't worry, alright?"
Jace remained quiet. Clary gently pushed his shoulders, making him step back slightly, enough for her to look into his eyes. Jace didn't let her though, he was staring at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. That was the moment when Clary noticed the dark bags under his golden eyes and just how tired he looked.
"Jace" said Clary, "you really should try and go back to sleep, it's late and you have training tomorrow"
"I know" muttered Jace, his eyes still focused on his feet. Clary opened a cabinet and got a glass, which she filled with water and then handed to Jace.
"Drink" she said simply, wrapping Jace's fingers around the glass. He stared at her for a moment, then took a few sips of the water and rested the glass back on the counter.
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep now" said Jace, "I don't think I want to sleep"
Clary stepped forward and took his hand.
"Come on" she said, walking out of the kitchen and pulling Jace by the hand. He turned the light off and followed her into the darkness, until they stopped in front of his bedroom's door.
"Clary, what are you doing?" asked Jace.
"Helping you" answered Clary, pointing him to the bed.
"And how exactly are you going to help me?" asked Jace, flumping down on the mattress and wriggling his brows at Clary. She grabbed one of his pillows and hit him on the head.
"Ow!" exclaimed Jace, hiding his face with his arms.
"You're so silly. And a perv. Just shut up and let me help you, yeah?" said Clary, picking up the blankets from the floor and rearranging them over Jace's body. He sighed and reached a hand out to turn the lamp on.
"Okay now, scoot over" said Clary, lying down beside her boyfriend and covering herself. Almost instantly, Jace changed his position so his cheek was resting on Clary's chest and she started to run her fingers through his hair.
"You wanna talk about it?" she asked.
"You told me to shut up" mumbled Jace. Clary smiled and shook her head.
"Don't be dramatic" she said, "you know I didn't mean it for real"
Jace hummed sleepily and Clary's smile widened.
"You're almost falling asleep" she said.
"Am not" mumbled Jace.
"Yes, you are" said Clary, kissing the top of his head. "Goodnight, Jace"
"G'night" he whispered, closing his eyes.
Clary woke up again in that night. She'd heard her name and at first, she thought she was dreaming, but then her sleepy eyes fell on Jace. He was squirming and mumbling in his sleep, calling for her.
"Jace" she said, "Jace, baby, wake up. It's just a dream, I'm right here"
Jace jolted awake and buried his face in the crook of Clary's neck, one arm encircling her waist as if to make sure she was there. Clary threaded her hand into his hair and massaged his scalp, pressing soft kisses on his temple.
"Shhhh, it's okay. I'm here" she whispered, her lips brushing his skin as she talked. Jace sucked in a shaky breath and raised his head. As he did so, Clary got shocked at the realization that tears were falling from his eyes. Her Jace was crying.
"Oh, Jace" she whispered, wiping away the tears from his cheeks.
"You always die" whispered Jace, "in these dreams. We're always together and something bad happens to you. Then, you die in my arms"
"They are just dreams, Jace. I'm right here, with you. I'm okay. Shh, take a deep breath" said Clary, as Jace lay back down on her chest.
"Sorry" he whispered.
"For what?" asked Clary, petting his face.
"For crying" answered Jace, still whispering.
"Don't be sorry for that. Those dreams made you scared and sad, you just needed to let it out. Crying is good sometimes, it's relieving, okay?" said Clary.
"Okay" said Jace, "I'm trying, but I can't forget all the blood, your blood, pooling around us and you, and..."
He trailed off, burying his face on Clary's shirt, his tears staining the cotton fabric.
"Shh, it wasn't real. Try to think about anything else..." she soothed, hugging him with one arm. Slowly, Jace began to calm down.
"Talk to me" he pleaded, looking up at Clary.
"I can tell you a story, you wanna hear it?" she asked. Jace nodded.
"Okay, close your eyes. Once upon a time, there was a little girl—" started Clary. Jace interrupted her immediately.
"A Shadowhunter girl?"
"Yeah. But that's another story. Continuing, there was this girl and she was very curious. She also had quite an imagination, what sometimes wasn't that good. Every night, she would call her mother and say that there was a monster under her bed or something like it. The girl had a best friend, but he mocked at her for believing in monsters..."
Jace yawned and snuggled up on Clary's chest.
"Anyway, she kept believing. The monsters would haunt her dreams and many times she would wake up crying and scared. She used to draw those monsters, each one of them. You see, they were pretty different. One for each of her fears. As the girl grew up, the monsters stopped haunting her. Actually, they changed. Changed into worries from her life, into accumulated responsibilities and things like that. But still, one monster would never leave her. This monster was the fear of loosing her loved ones, the fear of being unable to protect those who were important for her..."
Clary looked down at Jace's face and found him fast asleep. She kissed his hair and arranged the blankets around him, then whispered into his ear:
"I fear loosing you too, I need you too. I love you, Jace. Sleep well"
