Dreaming in Digital
A series of one shots
By Bard Child
An: O hai. Know how I said I would never write Zutara? Ok. I lied. I don't know if I am channeling GreenIFYMe or some Zutard. But whatever wrote this because I was watching way too much Ghost in the shell and it got my brain thinking. So I kinda wrote my verison. Hasn't been fully beta'd at all. Probably gonna take it off to get it beta'd
Set one: The Picture,
It's been ten years, a decade. Since we defeated the tyrant, Ozai and seven since I married the Fire Lord Zuko and I, Katara of the watertribe have been his consort. The Fire Nation is thriving and the Four Nations now again live in harmony, but it is all an illusion for I am not happy. I am grieving, I am grieving the lost of the Avatar Aang. Somewhere in my memory I don't remember how I became Fire Lady. I know that Mai grew angry at Zuko for dwelling on his self-pity. Eventually, she told Zuko that she will return to him once he sees the value in his own worth. She vanished, we haven't seen her in seven years. Sokka no longer writes to me, he is wedded to Suki and they have two daughters. Toph has been a vagabond living in Omashu for the winter and then going to Gaoling in the summer.
And Aang? Well...that's the reason I am married to Zuko. Aang has also vanished. But not like Mai, his body rests in the lotus pose in the Southern Air Temple, but his soul has left it. Remaining on his lap was a letter. Telling me that Zuko must wed me and that he is astrally traveling for a few years. I don't know all the exact details. My father and his mother agreed. We were married and Mai vanished and all the family I have created has been turn to dust. I am alone waiting for Aang to return from his traveling.
Zuko thinks he loves me...I think I love him. I try to love him, but either his pity or his temper emerges. Sometimes he is the brave hero that nearly died for me, other times, his cowardice appears like the times he has sought Aang. These are both Zuko, which one I am more in love with is to be determined. I just know now that if I stay beside Zuko. Aang will return, or at least I think he would. Far as I know. Aang could be lost in oblivion and all that is left is a corpse.
Set Two: Visitation
It is late evening and Zuko has not returned from his meeting. I heard that Bumi is ill, and probably dying, but I am not permitted to see him. The summer breeze is not refreshing as I read in the muggy night. Then I turned my head as something flew through the window. I dropped my book, as a pair of shining emerald eyes peered up at me on the burgundy silk bedcovers.
"Momo! Momo, has Aang returned?" The little lemur groomed himself and looked for something to eat. I tried to see if I had a pear in the fruit bowl. When a voice spoke, it gave me the chills as I stood up.
Not quite I am still busy, but I missed you so much, it has felt like aeons since I saw you in flesh, not in the dream-images I use to console myself on. Katara, I am borrowing Momo's body but only for a little bit before his own soul rejects mine.
I couldn't believe it. I stared at Momo, slacked jawed. Amazed and yet profoundly disturbed. I slowly sat down as the distant rumble of thunder echoed in the bedroom.
"You're...borrowing Momo's body? Why? Why couldn't you see me in your own form?
I am not ready to return to my body, but Momo gave me permission to use him for a little bit. Apparently Avatars while astrally traveling can borrow the bodies of their animal guides temporarily, I normally use Appa, but Momo is much more...convenient. Riding him seemed like a better option than Appa. I didn't know what to say, but some how I was grateful to hear his voice again, if only in his form. I picked up Momo and scratched behind his ears and under his chin.
Ahhhh, wow...thank you Katara, that feels really nice. I wish I could take you with me, but the Spirit World is much to dangerous for normal people. Most actually go insane. I could understand that as I stroked Momo, but still I was hurt that he left me behind. Yet deep in my heart I forgave him. I loved Aang, I know I did, Zuko...I am not sure anymore.
"You have been in the Spirit World? I am sure you won't tell me why." I said with wry smile, Momo purred and I heard Aang again.
I can't tell you, but I haven't been in just the Spirit World, I've been in other places, places I can't really put into words, and I can't tell you why I am there. Mostly because the gods of time and conscientiousness, won't allow me. I frowned and stroked Momo's cheek,
"I have been, lonely Aang, I haven't seen you in eight years, and I don't know what to do anymore." Momo looked up and me and touched my cheek with his paw.
I am sorry, I have been lurking through your subconscious, in dreams and daydreams. I know that you use to have feelings for him, or at one point during the marriage had feelings. You still refuse to bear him children. And he is bitter and you are still bitter at me. I almost done, Katara. I have discovered, that the Avatar is more than just a reincarnated spirit. But something more complex, it's collective. A collective of conscientiousness and memories. I...I am learning that I am all of them, and I have all of their feelings and memories. Once I have finished accessing them all and recording what I need to know I will return, and dissolved the marriage and have you come home. Momo got off my lap and skittered towards the window. I got up and headed to the window myself. I don't know what Aang as seeking and I don't know if I want to end the marriage I was building, but at the same time. I wanted to weep, for after eight years of endless longing, I heard Aang again, and part of me knew once he comes back smiling that same wild-eyed grin I could feel happiness again. Maybe, I could even love them both. I waved good bye as Momo took off again disappearing into the moving storm.
Set Three: Lost in Coma
I am breath. I am life, I am sorrow and I am elation. I am all these things. I see the last breath of a starving child the tears of joy of a mother giving birth. Is this what it means to be human? I am a human, or am I the dream of a wistful god?
Aang took a shuttering breath as he was spiritually exhaled by Momo's body and back into the collective psyche of the world. He didn't have a true corporeal form. Just a quasi-corporeal body of light and time floating in the endless sea of the mind. He spent four years in Spirit World, talking to several gods and doing various tasks and then he met wú qióng the god of time. Or one of them, apparently he was the god of the incalculable time. He was the god of endless probability and chance. He didn't serve a particular nation, he often jokes how he is the grandfather of the Lion Turtle who crawled out of the pan-gu, wú qióng, created the cosmic pan-gu egg. Needless to say, he was very ancient being. It was he who taught Aang to release himself into the cosmic consciousness of the world, and for another four years, he has been riding the endless tides of thought, reason, and emotion.
Aang never felt hunger, unless he was experiencing a emotion of a another person he was riding or viewing. Most of his emotions, were not his. Just borrowed from others. Or to him they weren't his, after being here so long he couldn't tell anymore. He didn't know if the lust he felt was his or the lust of the woman making love to her beloved. He could only take in so much into his own consciousness, most of the information he has gained he filtered into other pockets of the Avatar. He learned to separate, Avatar from Aang. It was the first thing he learned as he floated among endless thoughts. In his body they were joined as one, but outside they were separated, well...kinda. Still part of the same whole, but different in feelings and perspective. One was the god, the other was the man.
Floating down he settled on the mind of Katara she was so upset him, at Zuko and at everyone. She didn't know what she wanted or if what she wanted was even real. What is real Katara? I am still figuring that out myself. I wish...I wish I could touch you-kiss you once more.
Katara explained her experience with Momo/Aang who visited while he was away. Zuko undid his long hair, he looked very much like Ozai, but still...there was a bit of 'Iroh' in his expressions. He seemed so interested and yet so tired.
"Katara, I don't want to deny that what you experience isn't real, but...I don't know. I don't what Aang is doing, I want to say that he is running away, but from what?" Zuko tried to rationalize what happened as he took of his outer robes. He approached Katara, and kissed her. His own lips meshed with hers briefly before backing away.
"What we have is real. I love you Katara. I have grown to love you so much." Katara returned the kiss, almost frowning. She knew that that was just half-truth. He didn't love her as a man would love his wife, but as best friends would. Katara felt him breathe a question in her ear. She normally refused, but tonight she accepted.
"Maybe, tonight Zuko, I'll...let you love me." She said her voice low.
Aang observed all of this with the Anja chakra, or the third eye. He inhaled, feeling emotion of apprehension and fear, but of want underneath. Stretching out his arm he touched Zuko's own thoughts. He felt, confusion, lust, and regret. He stroke them, stoking the fire, wanting to ride Zuko so he too could love Katara. He stretched deeper, pushing himself inside, almost feeling Katara's lips on his. But then the Avatar's voice spoke Ask, don't invade...ask Aang grumbled as he asked permission from Zuko's own soul, but he got no reply, not even an echo. Frowning, Aang continued to fall deeper into Zuko's mind. He could taste Katara's lips, feel her hair between Zuko's fingers. He was so beautiful and warm. His heart craved this warth, he could feel both the Anahata and Swathsihana chakras resonate, both the heart and water chakras. His breathing grew erratic and fast, Zuko's heartbeat was quickening. Aang could feel his own emotions surging like a storm.
Oh Katara, Katara, please...just...a lit- At the point of climax, Aang felt a searing heat in his water chakra, something tearing at it, he howled in pain as something threw him out of Zuko. He tumbled out of the both of their consciousnesses and into the collective. As his all his chakras realigned and reorganized he thought he heard the laughter of the Avatar.
Told'ja
whoa, not doing that again.