Disclaimer: I don't own Edgey-poo or dear Feenie. This story is just written for fun and to make people smile. This is my first Phoenix Wright fic and hopefully, I'll do both these lawyers the justice they deserve! LOL! Yes, bad pun, I know. This is a one-shot friendship fic that takes place sometime after the first two cases in Apollo Justice. Two small spoilers for things we find out in Dual Destinies as well. Let me know if I get any facts wrong guys. I refreshed my memory via fan wikis about certain events, but I'm human and there's a lot to keep track of in the Phoenix Wright universe. Now, please sit back and enjoy!
~Vanity, Thy Name is Edgeworth~
~By: Mists~
Phoenix Wright walked away from the bus stop with a slight spring in his step. Today was going to be a good day. Recently, Nick had been informed that his childhood friend, Miles Edgeworth, had achieved his ultimate goal at last. Within the coming week, Miles would be officially sworn in as chief prosecutor.
Wright hadn't been this excited in ages. It was the first time in a long while, that he actually felt like himself again. Nick could think of no better person for the job. And it gave him a great deal of hope that this, 'Dark Age of the Law' might finally be coming to an end. These past few years had been hard to Phoenix, but with this, things were starting to look up again.
Nick merrily whistled as he adjusted his blue knit hat, and the cake box he was holding. As he approached Edgeworth's abode, Wright could tell that he wasn't the only one who had heard the news. There were several reporters and paparazzi camped out at the end of the street, attempting to talk their way around the police barricade. Apparently, everyone was hoping for a piece of the newly promoted man. Phoenix immediately stopped and pulled his black hoodie over his head.
Ever since being disbarred, the ex-attorney had been trying as hard as he could to publicly distance himself from Edgeworth. He was not going to drag his friend down into this hellhole with him. After all, one of them had to keep fighting the good fight, right?
He caught the eye of a couple of officers he knew and they gave him a quick nod. One discreetly reached for her radio and said, "The Phoenix has Landed" and then glanced away, pretending not to have seen him.
Nick was glad he still had friends on the force who believed in his innocence. He quickly took the opportunity to swerve and duck through a few conveniently placed bushes. It was a secret path he'd been using lately to access Edgeworth's property. As he neared the stuffy looking manor, Phoenix could make out the piles of gifts and flowers that had been delivered. There were so many, that a good portion of the front lawn was now covered with them.
Wright smiled as his eye caught sight of a rather large and gaudy arrangement that came with a huge sign saying, "Marry Me, Edgey-poo!" Yeah, he was pretty certain who had sent that one. He'd have to tease Edgeworth about it once he was inside. Nick quickly made his way to the padlock on the fence gate and opened it with his key. He then hastily relocked it and ran up the backstairs. Next, he unlocked the backdoor and ducked into the house as fast as he could.
Once Phoenix had checked that it was securely bolted behind him, the man happily called out, "Hello! Insufferable tight-ass? Your lovable neighborhood vagrant has once again wandered into your home!"
"ACK!" came the panicked cry from the second floor along with a rather loud BANG! and THUNK!
"Edgeworth!" Nick cried out in surprise as he tossed the cake box on the nearest table and snatched up the baseball bat Miles had placed by the front door for protection. Yes, a gun would be far more practical and efficient to have on hand. But at this point, the prosecutor had pretty much had enough of the damn things to last a lifetime.
Nick raced up the stairs and burst through the bedroom door, ready to take on whoever had attacked his friend.
"Oh hell! YES, I'm fine! Calm down!" yelled Edgeworth from his prone position on the floor as his boorish friend kicked his way in.
"Uh..." was all Phoenix could say as he stared confused at Miles laying in a tumbled mess of sheets at the side of his bed.
"Well just don't stand there, you big oaf! Help me up, will you?" Edgeworth snapped at him.
The shock finally wore off and Wright started madly giggling. "Sorry! I heard you scream and I-"
"Yes, I know full well what you thought," haughtily answered the man in silk pajamas. Nick ruefully shook his head as he put down the bat and extended his friend a hand.
Miles simply pushed him away. "Too little, too late," he declared while trying to stand back up under his own power... only to immediately trip and fall back down on his ass.
This set Wright off into another laughing fit. "You sure- about- that?" the ex-attorney was just barely able to choke out between gaffs.
Edgeworth glared at him until Nick finally offered him another hand. This time, Miles gladly accepted it and was able to pull himself out of the pile of bedding.
Once the prosecutor had finally regained his footing, Edgeworth immediately started collecting together the sheets and throwing them back onto the bed. "What on earth are you doing here? Especially this early, I thought you were working late last night at that dive bar."
Nick let out an indignant huff. "Stop calling it that. I play piano for them, remember? That totally makes it fancy."
Edgeworth raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him. "Phoenix, you only know one song. And it's not even 'Piano Man.'"
"Details, details, " said Nick, brushing it off with a light shrug. "Anyway, I knew you were off today and I had to come over after hearing the news! Congratulations! I knew you could do it!"
"Oh... yes, that," replied Miles with a small frown. He then started to discreetly graze his right hand over the bed and the nightstand.
Phoenix blinked for a moment, confused by the action. It almost looked like Edgeworth was searching for something.
"Miles... What are you looking for?" he asked with a curious gaze.
The roaming hand immediately froze. Edgeworth blew out a breath of frustration before answering, "A piece of testimony for a case. I was intently reading it before someone decided to barge into my home unannounced."
"Hey! I totally announced myself," defended the ex-attorney, angrily placing his hands on his hips. "It's not my fault you startle easily."
"Whatever, will you just help me find the blasted thing?" The prosecutor then began to tear through the bed sheets in search of the missing object.
Nick rolled his eyes, Edgeworth would never change. "Fine, I'll-" But cut off abruptly, when he spotted the paper resting in-between the folds of the bed. Phoenix's wide grin returned as he snatched it up and started waving it obnoxiously in Miles's face.
He teased, "Come on, Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth, if you want to do your job right; you have to be more observant than that! "
Miles simply glared at him for a moment before swiping at the page to retrieve it... or at least he tried to; on the first attempt, he missed.
This surprised Wright so much that he actually froze, the split second hesitation allowed Edgeworth to steal the page back from the idiot.
"I see you are once again displaying the depth of your maturity, Wright," he said condescendingly and immediately went back to reading the document.
But Nick continue to worriedly stare at his friend. Something was wrong... Miles's eye-hand coordination was never this bad. It was then that Phoenix's old senses started kicking in. For some reason, Edgeworth seemed to be extremely focused on studying the page... or rather, squinting at it.
The ex-defense attorney looked around the room to see if there were any other clues to support his theory. Nick's eyes narrowed when he caught sight an odd glint of light. It was bouncing off of something that had clearly fallen behind Edgeworth's nightstand.
Nick's jaw dropped open in shock. Since when had he even gotten a pair of those? The spiky-haired man glanced back at his friend, who's face was now scrunched up in irritation as he continued to glare steadfastly at the paper.
With the utmost stealth and care, Wright slowly inched his way toward the glinting object.
When he was sure Miles wasn't watching, Nick reached down and picked it up. Phoenix grinned to himself as he quietly snuck up behind Edgeworth and then tapped him on the shoulder.
"Oh, my apologies, Wright, " replied Miles as he glanced up from the testimony and started blinking like an owl. "I didn't mean to-"
"That's okay, I know how you are," forgave Nick in a teasing tone. "But I think these would be rather helpful in what you're trying to accomplish."
He then held out to the new chief prosecutor, a shiny pair... of black, wire framed glasses.
Miles glared daggers at the offending object before turning his ire fully onto his friend.
"Of course you found them, you annoying fool," Edgeworth grumbled with irritation.
"Ah, ah," corrected Phoenix with a coy wink, "that's an 'annoyingly foolish fool that does foolishly foolish things' to you, sir!"
"Oh, don't you start!" he snapped back and snatched the frames away from Wright. Miles then shook them in his clenched fist. "I'm not wearing these ridiculous things, and that's final."
"Really!" exclaimed Nick as he placed a hand dramatically over his heart. "Vanity, thy name is truly Edgeworth!"
"Enough, Wright," declared the prosecutor with an air of finality, but the ex-attorney was reluctant to let it go.
"Miles, honestly, you clearly need them," he pointed out.
The chief prosecutor let out a mumbled, incoherent reply.
"We're getting older," offered Nick supportively as he placed a hand on Edgeworth's shoulder. "You just have to accept it."
"Wright..." He immediately brushed off his attempt at comfort and took a few steps away.
"Look, if they annoy you that much just get contacts," the spiky-haired man finally amended with a frown. Something else was bothering his friend, other than the blow to his ego. But Nick just couldn't put his finger on what the heck that was.
"I can't," the prosecutor grumbled back in annoyance. "My astigmatism is too severe, even for the most advanced form of contacts. I only really need them for driving and reading anyway."
Miles then carefully removed the glasses from his tight grasp. Gently, he unfolded the pair and stared sadly down into their crystal depths, as if searching for some mysterious answer hidden within.
"Then what is the big problem?" asked Nick who was getting a little frustrated by this point. "I remember your fath-"
Phoenix froze. That was it. That's what was wrong. Edgeworth's father... he used to wear a pair very much like these, right down to the style.
"Miles, I-"
A tremor suddenly ran through Miles as he gripped the sides of the glasses even harder. "I just... I can't stand them, Phoenix. Every time I put them on and look in the mirror... all I can see is his face staring back."
Edgeworth couldn't help but choke-up a little on the last word as a single tear broke free and streamed freely down his cheek.
"I never thought I looked very much like my father... but I can see it now... I keep wondering what he'd think of the man I've become. I-I've failed him so many times that I just..."
At this point, Nick couldn't standby any longer. He immediately jumped forward and enveloped his childhood friend in a comforting hug. Miles, of course, tried to push him away, but Nick only tightened his hold.
"I know, it's okay. It's just me Miles," comforted the ex-attorney the best he could. "You can let it out, I'm here. Everything's going to be alright."
After a few moments, Edgeworth was finally able to regain his composure enough to gently pull out of Nick's grasp.
"Thank you for that Phoenix." Miles glanced away in embarrassment. "It has been weighing on me for a while."
"Hey, no problem. What are friends for?" brushed off Nick easily. "But you know what... I think your dad would be really proud of you."
"Is that so?" Edgeworth inquired back with a light smile.
"Yup! Even though you became a prosecutor instead of a defense attorney, you still hold his key ideals in your heart."
Nick then took the glasses from Miles's hands. With a sly grin, he placed them on his friend's face and gently pushed them up to the bridge of his nose.
Wright simply continued on, "You search for the truth above all else, and in this day and age, the court really needs someone like you."
"I wish you were allowed to be there with me," Edgeworth confessed solemnly. "If you would only let me-"
Nick held up his hand for Miles to stop. "I told you before, don't want you involved in this Miles. It would ruin you. One of us has to keep fighting, and for now, it will just have to be you."
The chief prosecutor let out a depressed sigh. "Very well..."
"You know... if you are really curious about your father..." added Nick hesitantly, already knowing what Edgeworth's answer was going to be. "You could always have Maya or-"
"No," replied the silver-haired man with a slight shake of his head. "The Fey family has already paid enough for doing so in the past, I will not ask them to again."
"Yeah, thought you'd say that... figured I'd at least try though. Anyway, enough with all this sad talk. I came over to celebrate with you, remember? Big promotion? Woo-who and all that? Anywhere you want to go, it's my treat!"
"Phoenix, you and Trucy barely have enough to support yourselves as it is. I'm not-"
"Well then, speaking of Trucy, why don't we go check out her new magic show? It's free; she's putting on part of it at the Crestwoods Mall today as part of a promotion."
"Well..." replied Edgeworth hesitantly.
"Come on, we can totally disguise ourselves," encouraged Nick. "She loves it when you pick apart her tricks! No one will be the wiser. "
"Oh alright, but I get the oddest feeling that I'm going to end up regretting this... And by the way, Wright. We need to have a talk about how you are raising this child," lectured Miles as he pushed Phoenix toward his bedroom door. "A young lady should not be asking random strangers to 'reach into her magic panties!' I mean, honestly, just tell her to use her hat like a normal magician. Now get out while I change! I'll meet you downstairs in a minute, you annoying hobo!"
Nick cackled manically as he walked out the doorway and then back down the stairs. "Whatever, four-eyes! Anyway, you should really see Apollo's face when she asks him to do that; it's freaking hilarious. The poor boy has no idea just how disgusted he should really be! Oh man. When they finally find out, it's going to be SO priceless!"
And with that, Nick and Miles went off to have a day free of random trials and tribulations. Both content in knowing that whatever life had yet to throw their way, in the end, they would always have each other.
~The End~
Author's Notes: Finally! I was able to get this done! I've been trying forever to find the time to write this! So glad I finally did it. Let me know what you guys thought, okay? I love getting feedback! More of the other story I'm working on in the Naruto fandom, "Yes, Naruto, Propose" should be coming out soon too. After a new chapter of that, I've got one more short story I want to write and then all my focus will be to fully complete "Yes, Naruto, Propose." And then after that, I'm going to do my best to finally give "Double Edge Sword" some kind of ending. So lots more coming from me soon people!
Please remember to read and review!