Disclaimer: I own nothing
You ever wonder what the world would be like if everyone's gender was switched? I sure do...
Gender Swap
"Ah…" A seventeen blond male wearing a tight white shirt and blue pants sighed. "Life sucks…"
"What's wrong, Luigi?" Markus Strauss, the white haired waiter wearing a white suit, smiled at his friend.
"I'm poor. My rent's due, and I don't have the money to pay!" Luigi Heartfilia banged his head on the table.
"Then why don't you just take a job?" Markus questioned kindly.
"Because Natsa, Gray, and Elijah keep destroying everything in their path! I don't get any money from my missions!" Luigi shouted.
"Then why don't you go on a job yourself?" Cain Alberona asked. The shirtless drunk with a short gruffy beard lifted his barrel of alcohol and took deep gulps.
"They keep following me on my jobs!" Luigi scowled. "They say that the team needs to stick together, then thy blow everything up…"
"Maybe you could talk to them?" Markus suggested. "I'm sure they would understand."
"Er…Onii-san…" Lucas Straus raised an eyebrow at his older brother. "Have you met them? I mean, Natsa is great and everything, but…she's kind of hard to control."
"Oh, she's not that bad…"
"What's up, bitches!" A pink haired girl wearing a large coat over her chest bound with cloth. Despite her beauty and rather generous curves, Natsa Dragneel always wore clothes that weren't all that flattering. In fact, if people didn't know better, they would think she was a guy considering her short hair and violent behavior.
"…Okay, she's that bad…"
"Must you be so vulgar, Natsa?" Elfwoman Strauss frowned at her friend. She was dreassed in a dress that did not show any skin, but still revealed the tanned woman's figure. "A real lady needs to be polite and hold her tongue while kicking ass."
"Er…" Luigi frowned. "I…I was with you up til the point where you said 'kicking ass'…."
"I say whatever the hell I want, bitch!" Natsa glared. "And there's nothing you can do about it."
"Natsa…" Elijah Scarlet approached his long time friend. He was a tall man wearing armor. His short straight hair was crimson in color. "Don't speak that way."
"Y-yes, Eli…" Natsa paled. "It was impolite of me to fuuuuuuuuuu-freaking cuss at everyone like that. I'm sorry."
"Aye!" Happy, the blue cat with a pink bow on her head, cheered from her spot by Natsa's feet. "Now Natsa is Eli's bitch!"
"Traitor!" Natsa glared down at her companion.
"What? It's true!" Happy frowned.
"Happy's completely right, Natsa." Gray Fullbuster smiled from her table. Her long dark hair almost completely hid her eye, but you still see the woman's smirk.
"AH!" Juvio Losker looked on in awe at Gray's beautiful face. The blue haired man wearing the dark coat blushed and gushed over his love. "Gray-sama is so cool! Please, Gray-sama, will you marry me?!"
"No." Gray answered without even a moment's hesitation. Even before meeting Juvio, she was used to turning down guys. To her, this was nothing.
"A swing and a miss!" Cain laughed.
"Oh! Gray-sama's words hurts Juvio so…" Juvio wasn't too upset, though. He merely bowed before the ice user. "Juvio will prove that Juvio is worthy of Gray-sama's beauty and love."
"You're annoying…" Gray sighed.
"Ya need to shut up, Gray." Natsa glared at her rival. "This isn't any of your business!"
"You make it my business with you screaming so loud…" Gray growled.
"Well, I may be loud, but at least I don't have to take off my clothes to get attention, you stripper!" Natsa glared.
"You take that back!" Gray stood up from her seat.
"I would…but you're taking your bra off right now!" Natsa snorted.
"What?" Gray looked down. Her shirt and pants were on the ground. In the ice user's hands was the woman's dark blue bra. In shock, she instantly covered her exposed chest. "Kya!"
"Hahahahahahhaha!" Natsa fell to the floor in laughter.
"A lady should never expose herself in public like that!" Elfwoman said in outrage.
"Geeze…way to give people the milk…or meat without buying the cow." The pierced dragon slayer of iron mumbled. Geneviene glanced to her companioan. "Right, Levi…Levi?
Levi McGarden did not answer. The blue haired boy was openly gaping at Gray. The book in his hands slid out of his grip onto the ground. He wasn't the only one that was doing this, though. Every man in the guild was basically gapping at Gray's exposed chest and body. Even Elijah was mesmerized by the creamy flesh.
"Geeze…those men have no shame…" Laxas Dreyer frowned. She was a tall blond woman with an impressive figure and a lightning bolt scar across her right eye. Despite this, it did not interfere with her beauty. "Just put them away, Gray, before they die from shock."
"You are so right, Laxas!" Freeda nodded at her role model. "She's shameless!"
"Hahahahahaha!" Bickslaw laughed. "This is hilarious, though. Just look at Everson! He's dumbstruck like the rest of them!"
"I would put my clothes back on…IF NATSA WOULD GIVE THEM BACK!" Gray was completely crimson in the face.
"No way! You made your bed, so lie in it!" Natsa used her fire dragon slayer magic to burn Gray's clothes.
"No!" Gray's eyes widened. "Quick! Someone give me their shirt, so I can beat her up!"
No one did so. Not even the completely loyal Juvio would give up his shirt. The men were all still in shock, and the woman were too ashamed.
"You think I'll be like the other guys when I hit puberty?" William Marvell questioned his companion.
"Kami, I hope not…" Charles the cat frowned. "I might have to tear your eyes out."
"Don't be so mean…"
"Traitors!" Gray growled.
"Gahahahahahahaha!" Natsa laughed.
"Laugh while you can, Natsa! You'll die alone at this rate. No man is willing to even look at you. You're more man than woman!" Gray snapped.
"What?!" Natsa scowled.
"Yeah! You already have one cat! In forty years, you'll be that weird old cat lady that everyone's afraid of!" Gray argued. "What man would want a man girl freak?"
"I don't need a man, but I can tell you this…" Natsa glared. "I'm more woman that you are, whore! I just don't need to objectify myself to get attention!"
"Please! We all know you're flat as a board, ugly as a bat, and got the body of a gorilla!" Gray smirked despite her nudity.
"Oh, yeah!?" Natsa ripped off her unflattering coat and loosened her bandages. Her generous chest was revealed to the world. Everyone could also see the woman's smooth skin and slick curves.
It was too much for the men in the room. Every one of them quickly gained a nosebleed. Blood flied everywhere as they fell to the ground. In an instant, every male human in the guild (even William) was unconscious.
"See!" Natsa glared. She didn't seem to care that she was naked from the waist up. She only wore clothes out of necessity. To her, they meant nothing.
"Ha! Who's the whore now, scank?" Gray smirked. "It was so easy to make you take off your clothes. You must spread your legs for everyone."
"Shut it, stripper!" Natsa's hand erupted into fire. "I'll burn you alive!"
"You can try, hoe!" Gray readied herself to use her Ice Make magic.
"Enough!" Makala Dreyer roared as her fist grew to gigantic size and rammed down on the girls. "Put clothes on now, brats! Otherwise, I'll make you clean the entire guild with your tongues!"
"…Yes, master…" They both obeyed.
It took a few more hours before the men of the guild reawakened. By that time, however, the guild was ready to close for the night, and Luigi didn't have the chance to obtain a job that day. Needless to say, he also didn't get his rent money that day.
For some reason, though, he wasn't all that upset by it...
The multiverse is huge. This merely one of the possibilities...
This is my attempt to make a more humorous story...or series of one-shots at least. Most of my stories are relatively serious and somewhat depressing. I add humor in my stories, but it's not the main focus. Tell me what you think. I have other one-shot ideas I would like to try, but this idea was in my head for a long time. After all, a lot of the mannerisms from the Fairy Tail mages would be taken differently if they were the opposite sex.
Thank you all for reading and please remember to...
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