Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach...although I wish I did. Doesn't everyone? Alas, some wishes will never come true...
I hope you enjoy this. Soul Shuffle is something I came up with...just for fun...try to R&R. It is a little weird.
Summary: Mayuri asks Yachiru to test an...experiment on the shinigami of the Soul Society. Yachiru decides to try it on the Shinigami Women's Association; afterwards, they find themselves not themselves at all...what will happen next?
Soul Shuffle
As usual, Matsumoto was out drinking, Renji was looking for someone to pick a fight with, Byakuya was messing around with his hair (Yumichika was too), and Hitsugaya was buried under heaps and heaps for paperwork...
So it was a typical day in the Soul Society...
Yachiru skipped lightly over to the 4th division, looking to annoy Hanataro. She had always found him hard to annoy. Most of the 4th division was hard to annoy anyway, but Hanataro was one of the hardest.
"Hana-chan!" she chirped as she broke through the window. Hanataro looked up from filing some papers. "Ohayo, Yachiru." Yachiru frowned. He hadn't noticed that she'd wrecked his window? This guy was dense. Or totally oblivious...
She began bouncing around, messing up the papers, accidentally-on-purpose knocking books off the shelves. Hanataro only smiled with that foolish grin. Darn! Time to start a different tactic.
"Haaaaaaaaanaaaaaa-chaaaaaan, play with meeeeeeee!!! Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase?" She giggled and smacked his head after crawling to a high bookshelf. She kicked a book off it so that it hit him over the head. "Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Pleeeeassssssse?"
"I'm sorry, Yachiru-chan. I'm a little busy," apologized Hanataro, gesturing toward the mess that she'd made. "I have to clean up, and then file some things."
No avail. Yachiru decided to leave Hanataro for some later time, when she had enough annoyingness stored up. She ignored Hanataro abruptly and went to find someone else to annoy. Maybe Bya-kun, or Mayuri. They were easier cases than Hanataro.
She found Mayuri testing out one of his experiments with a lizard. He wafted a fume over the lizard just as Yachiru skipped over. She covered her mouth and nose to be safe. "Ohayo, Mayuri-taicho!"
"Go away, little brat," snapped Mayuri, seeming too absorbed in his experiment to do anything nastier than he would have. It seemed that he was in a foul mood.
"No. Whatchya doin'?" Yachiru said goadingly as she watched the lizard's tail blow up.
"Nothing that concerns...." a thought seemed to have struck him as he tailed off with the sentence. Immediately, he said in a falsely bright voice, "Yachiru, do you want candy?"
She instantly distrusted the tone, but played along. "Yes..." she said, stretching out the word into two syllables.
He handed her the flask of the weird fumey thingy. "Take this and tell every shinigami you see to sniff this." He racked his brains to come up with something to placate her before she told everyone about the experiment. "Think of something to persuade them to do that, then come back to me to get your...er...candy." Noticing her suspicious look, he added,"It has entertaining results when it is not used on animals!"
"Okay," she finally agreed. Mayuri gave an inward sigh of relief, and hoped that Yachiru would not see the label on the side that clearly stated, "Soul Shuffle: Do not use on Animals. Human use is okay, for best results, use on shinigami". Below that was the ingrediants.
.o0O0o.
"I'll try this on...the Shinigami Women's Association first. They won't kill me if they get hurt, right?" Yachiru mused as she bounced her way over to the meeting rooms.
"OHAYO!!" greeted Yachiru, brandishing the flask in her hands. All eyes turned towards her. Good, now she had everyone's attention! She skipped her way over to the front and half-shoved Nanao off the platform. Nanao glared. Yachiru smiled. She knew a good story on how they should take a whiff of the fumes.
"Attention ladies! I have come up with a new...er, invention!" She gave a small pause for dramatic effect. "Take a good sniff, and you'll find either what you like, what appeals to you most, or what you dread! The image will uh, automatically rise to the surface of your brain!"
'Nice word choice,' Yachiru thought to herself. 'Good job, Yachiru!'
The shinigami looked rather interested. Matsumoto, holding the sake bottle sauntered forward. "Okay, Yachiru-chan, let's take a whiff of this thing," she slurred. Rukia, always ready for a challenge, although this wasn't really a challenge walked toward the flask too. "I'm in," she said. Looking at Rukia's example, although Rukia never really was a part of the association, decided that her decision was good enough.
"Are you sure that this is fine?" whispered Nemu to Hinamori.
"It should be," Hinamori replied, eyeing the bottle doubtfully. "Rukia-chan agreed..."
'Oh, what the heck,' thought Yoruichi, who was dropping by for the meeting also, not really a member at all, as she leaned forward towards the flask.
'Hmm, maybe I should do this too!' decided Yachiru.
She leaned in and sniffed.
The room exploded in a giant puff of blue.
.o0O0o.
Hitsugaya looked up from his giant pile of paperwork, not to mention Matsumoto's as well. A distraction, he had heard a giant booming sound...
Glancing out the window, he saw a mushroom shaped cloud of blue coming from the area of the meeting rooms. Probably the Shinigami Women's Association doing something stupid. He turned back to his paperwork.
Wait.
Shinigami Women's Association...
Hinamori!
Without another hesitation, he swung on his Captain's haori and sprinted out the door.
At the same time, Renji and Ichigo stopped from their sparring. They had heard a loud, thundering sound. A haze of blue clouded their vision.
"Oi, Ichigo," wheezed Renji, as he coughed in the blue smoke. "Was that your Bankai?"
"Hell," said Ichigo. "Hell, no!"
"Don't--" cough "--lie!"
"It wasn't," coughed Ichigo, "me!"
The blue haze started to clear up and they were finally able to speak without hacking up their lungs.
"So what was that, then?" grunted Renji.
"It came from that area," said Ichigo, gesturing toward the meeting rooms. The Shinigami Women's Association's meeting rooms...
The same thought seemed to have hit Renji. "Rukia's there!"
"No, duh!" replied Ichigo. They were about to shun-po over, when they caught a glimpse of white and green.
"Oi, Hitsugaya!" The blur of white and green stopped, and Hitsugaya spared them a glance.
"What do you want?"
"What was that, the blue stuff?"
"The haze from the dust of an explosion," Hitsugaya replied shortly. He seemed to be itching to get over there.
'Probably desperate for Hinamori,' thought Renji, smirking.
Hitsugaya noticed. "You might want to take off your foolish smile and get over to where Rukia is," he said before speeding away.
Renji and Ichigo apparently noticed and followed suit.
A little while after this, Byakuya, Hanataro, Kenpachi, Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Kira half-flew to the scene of the accident.
.o0O0o.
"Hinamori? Hinamori!" called Hitsugaya into the rubbish that had once been a meeting room. A few of the Association's members had already stood up and started dusting themselves off. Ignoring them, he found Hinamori's body (thankfully, no injuries, he gave an inward sigh of relief). "Hinamori. Hinamori. Wake up."
She opened her eyes slowly. "...Huh? Jeez, why the hell are you here?"
"Hinamori?" asked Hitsugaya, confused.
"Hinamori? I've never really seen any captain this dense before. I'm Rukia Kuchiki, Hitsugaya-taicho."
He jerked back from Hinamori's body that seemed to have Rukia's soul.
Renji and Ichigo were looking for Rukia, and found her body, checked her face and arms for injuries. None. "Rukia, oi, wake up," Ichigo said loudly in her face, shaking her a little. Her eyes popped open immediately, and she slapped across the face. She got up, dusted herself, and walked away, before doubling back and shrieking, "My glasses! Where are my glasses?"
"Rukia, you never had glasses," said Renji, puzzled. "Of course I have glasses! You must be blind to call me Rukia! I look nothing like Rukia!" the girl snapped back.
"That sounds like...Nanao..." said Ichigo, rubbing his jaw. "Only Nanao can slap people so hard..."
At that moment, Hitsugaya strode over. "What the hell have you done to Hinamori?!" he yelled at Ichigo. "Hinamori thinks she's Rukia now!"
"How should I know? Rukia sounds like Nanao! She slapped me, when she normally would have kicked me, and then she started yakking about her glasses!" Ichigo held up his hands in bewilderment and then let them drop. "She doesn't even have glasses," he muttered.
The figure of Nanao stood up. She was grinning. "That was fun! I want to go tell Ken-chan all about the explosion! It was awesome!"
Byakuya, who had...elegantly...arrived at the scene looked at Nanao. "Yachiru," was the only thing he said.
Yumichika and Ikkaku were right at Byakuya's heels. "What's...what's going on?"
"Bya-kun!" shouted Nanao and she rushed at him, hugging him. "Eh? When did you get shorter, Bya-kun?"
Byakuya turned a strange shade of puce. Hitsugaya's eye twitched, and Ichigo and Renji's jaw dropped. Ikkaku and Yumichika stared and gaped.
"What's wrong?" asked Hinamori, in a very Rukia-like way. "Nanao, why are you hugging Nii-san?"
"Who're you calling Nanao? I don't have glasses!"
"Yes, you do," said Hinamori, who was Rukia in a way. "Why are you acting so weird, Nanao?"
"Stop calling me Nanao! I'm Yachiru! Momo-chan, you've been hanging around Hitsu-kun too long, now you're all cold to me!"
"I am not Hinamori Momo," said Hinamori. Or rather, the person who looked like Hinamori but acted like Rukia...
Rukia walked forward, and caught sight of Nanao. "M-m-my body! That's--that's my body, and someone took over it!" spulttered Rukia, who sounded like Nanao. "Body! Why are you hugging Kuchiki-taicho!?"
"I am not Nanao!" said Nanao, but was definitely Yachiru, angrily. "If you say that one more time, I'll tell Ken-chan!"
"This is getting confusing," muttered Renji.
"Erm...excuse me," said a voice that belonged to Yoruichi, but the tone was way to soft to be her at all.
They looked around to see Yoruichi. "Yoruichi seems okay," said Ichigo doubtfully. "No, she sounds like Nemu," snorted Hitsugaya.
"I...I am Nemu," said Yoruichi. She politely tilted her head to the side.
Total silence.
Ok, Yoruichi would so not do this type of thing. It was definitely Nemu. But it was so strange, because the image of Nemu had just walked forward. "Hitsugaya-taicho!" squealed Nemu. Who sounded like...Matsumoto. She fell forward to hug Hitsugaya, and her eyes widened. "This...this doesn't feel right. Where are my--" her statement was cut off by an ear-piercing scream.
"My chest!! Where are they?!!! Where are my precious twins?!!" shrieked Nemu, or Matsumoto. "Hitsugaya-taicho! Someone did plastic surgery on me! They removed my beloveds!"
"Oh, shut up," muttered Hitsugaya, who couldn't look Nemu/Matsumoto in the eye. A vein throbbed in his forehead.
The sound of quiet footsteps reached their ears and they turned around to see Matsumoto, who looked timid. "Shiro-chan?" she asked tentatively.
Again, total silence.
Ikkaku had a nose bleed, and Yumichika's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "That's...that's Hinamori," said Hinamori/Rukia weakly. Hitsugaya's face drained of all color and his eye twitched uncontrollably. Matsumoto, or shall we say, Hinamori, bit her lip uncertainly. Nemu/Matsumoto turned around. "My breasts!" she shouted enthusiastically, but then her face fell. "That's me, though, why..." her voice tailed away.
The silence was broken by a pink-haired bouncing little girl. "Oi, what the fuck is going on here? Yachiru tells me to take a whiff of a fume, I wake up here in a pile of debris? I expected better of this meeting! Plus, Urahara promised me 3 bags of catnip if I came here to run an errand!"
"That's Yoruichi for sure," croaked Renji after a minute.
Well, I hope it was...entertaining. I'm not a very good author ^.^ I just like writing.
Should I make a second chapter? Please review!