Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. I would be recording it. Think about that.
Warnings: Swearing, fighting and Draco Malfoy being and (adorable) idiot.
Author's note: I just really want to hug Draco Malfoy and bake him cookies, the poor thing.
If Draco was braver
If Draco was braver, he might not have been a Death Eater.
If he was braver, he would have asked Dumbledore for help.
If he was braver, he would have tried to talk to Potter instead of cursing him.
If he was braver, he would have accepted Dumbledore's offer right away.
If he was braver, he would have looked for Potter and begged him to help him.
If he was braver, he would have run away from Voldemort.
If he was braver, he would have told his father and Bellatrix that that wasn't definitely Potter.
If he was braver, he would have helped Potter.
If he was braver, he wouldn't have brought Crabbe and Goyle with him to the Room of Requirement.
If he was braver, he would have thanked Potter for saving his life.
If he was braver, his hands wouldn't shake every time he caught Potter's eyes.
If he was braver, he would have smiled back at Potter when he invited Draco out.
If he was brave, he would accept it.
But he wasn't.
So he shook his head.
But Potter asked him again. And again. He always smiled. He told Draco he and a few of his friends would go bowling and he though Draco could use some company.
Draco told him he didn't need his pity.
Potter apologized for saying that. He told Draco instead that Potter could use some of Draco's company.
He then smiled.
And Draco smiled back, and his whole body was shaking when he accepted Potter's invite. He almost collapsed when he felt Potter's grip on his shoulder.
With a last flashing smile, Potter left.
If Draco was braver, he would have gotten at the bowling place at time. He eventually did get there, so that was saying something. When he arrived, everyone looked at him with annoyed frowns. He was used to it.
What he wasn't used to, however, was Potter greeting him with a smile and, once again, a tight grip on his shoulder. He tried to smile back.
He later found out that Potter had held the game until he arrived. That was why everyone was annoyed at him. They ordered French fries. Draco wasn't sure those bowling balls were entirely clean, but when Potter shot a reassuring smile at him he could do nothing but go and play. They were playing on teams of two, and of course he was on Potter's team. Potter had insisted, and he was pretty sure too no one would want to team with him.
Weasley and Granger won, but that didn't matter. Potter sat by his side when they had dinner afterwards. Draco tried to talk the least he could, but Potter was always so warm and welcoming. He passed a glass of wine to him and told him it was his favourite.
"See if you like it?" Potter said, his eyes glistening. Draco took a sip and realized that even if he probably had had better wines, that was his new favourite too.
"That's good" He told Potter, and felt Potter's grip on his knee.
He could have imagined it. It was so brief. But he could still feel it a few hours afterwards. Like Potter's hand was still there.
Like it had always been there.
They decided to go to some club. Draco wanted to go home, but he found Potter's supplicant eyes on his again.
He was surprised to find out that the other people didn't despise him. Even Longbottom was being nice to him. But Potter was unbelievable. He randomly touched Draco everywhere, and it seemed as though he was trying very hard to make it seem casual. As if he didn't mean to do that.
Even though people were being nice to him, he couldn't have done it without Potter. It was like Potter was his personal shelter. The warm blanket he could wrap himself with.
Suddenly all of their company were off to the dance floor. They were slow-dancing, and it seemed that Potter was the only one who hadn't brought a date. Weasley danced with Granger, Longbottom with Lovegood, the Weaslette with Dean Thomas, Finningan had a pretty blonde girl with him, and there were other people Draco didn't know. Probably Aurors. Or Gryffindors. Or both.
Potter seemed drunk. That was okay, though, because Draco was also drunk. Not much. Probably a little tipsy.
He was still shaking when Potter started whispering things to his ear. When suddenly Potter decided to join their lips together, he thought something inside him had broken apart. But as he felt Potter's tongue on his lip, he decided to be brave this one time and open up for him.
Potter pulled him so he was on his lap. His hands were on Draco's back. Pressed so tightly. His lips were so gentle. His heart stung when he let himself go.
A few moments later, Potter's hands were on Draco's cheeks. His thumbs gently caressed his face.
"Draco" that was what Potter said when their eyes meet. He felt a flash behind those green eyes that mirrored the flash behind his own grey eyes.
He then claimed Potter's lips again.
A few months later, it was snowing.
There were snowflakes on Potter's nose and he looked like an idiot. He was smiling, though. Always smiling. Always trying to make Draco smile.
And sometimes he did.
"I love you" Draco told him. His hands were shaking. They were always shaking when Potter was around.
They always stopped shaking when Potter grabbed them, and that's what he did.
"Your hands are always shaking when you notice I'm around and you think I don't notice. You don't want me to notice. But I do. And I want them to stop shaking. I want you to trust me. And I love you." He answered.
Draco told him he wished he was braver.
"But you already are" Potter said to him.
Potter's arms were around him. Tight. Comforting. Reassuring. His thumbs stroked Draco again, and he let his head fall on Potter's shoulder. That might have been a little weird since Draco was slightly taller than him, but it wasn't. He held Potter tightly too. And the world was spinning like it had always had when Draco's tears burned his face.
Why was he crying?
Potter had just said he loved him.
He wasn't sad.
Of course he wasn't.
He was relieved.
And with relief, he allowed himself to feel.
As his throat tightened and his tears fell down his cheeks, Potter breathed. He listened closely to Potter's breath. Maybe it was what made the world spin. He couldn't let go. Suddenly he wasn't even crying anymore, because Potter's eyes were staring on his and all he could feel was the dry tears on his cheeks and Potter's lips, so gentle, so kind, on his.
"Draco Malfoy" He said "I want you"
That's what he had told Draco all those months ago, in the club. Draco couldn't ask this question then, but now he could.
"Why? I'm just afraid" Draco replied "I'm not myself anymore. I'm just afraid of everything."
Green eyes studied him. Pale and strong hands caught his. Lips kissed his fingertips.
"Let yourself go" Potter told him.
If Draco was braver, he would have done it.
If he was braver, he would have pulled Potter for a kiss again.
If he was braver, he would have smiled back at Potter when he smiled at him.
If he was braver, he would have started calling Potter "Harry" when he asked him.
If he was braver, he would have returned slowly to his normal self. He would have even cracked a joke or two that year.
Maybe ten in the next year.
In the other year, he would have been himself again.
But he wasn't, so he just ran.
But Potter's hands caught his again, and it was like that fire all over again. This time, however, Potter was saving him from himself.
So he thought, screw it, I'm going to be brave.
And that was what he did.