Phoenix Rising
This takes place sometime after Tsunade is brought back by Naruto….no…let's say it takes place in the Shippuden series. At the moment this is pretty much a crack adventure comedy story with my OC, Pyro, in it. It may develop into something more. I apologize for this first chapter being so short, but it seemed a good place to cut off. Hopefully, as I continue to write, the chapters will get bigger and bigger. The rating for this story is Teen for language for now. It may change. I don't know about a love story though. Maybe in the future. But enough of this! On with the CRACK! I MEAN STORY! ON WITH THE STORY! Oh yes, my OC, Pyro, has brown messy hair, blood red eyes (not a vampire) and a stamina that rivals that of Luffy from One Piece. Steal my character and I will come after you like Luffy after a meat thief or Naruto after a ramen thief!
I DO NOT OWN NARUTO! (PYRO IS MINE AND MINE ALONE, HOWEVER!)
Kohona Village, 6:30 am:
"WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" A teenager with brown hair and blood red eyes laughed like a lunatic as he ran down the streets of Kohona, ANBU chasing after him. "GET BACK HERE YOU RED-EYED FREAK!" One yelled. "I never thought that there would be someone worse than Naruto," another ANBU couldn't help but say to another has they jumped across the rooftops.
PAUSE!
Some, no, MOST, if not all of you may be wondering what the hell is going on. Let us rewind things a bit, shall we? (Heh, like you have a choice in the matter. *Grins like a maniac*)
REWIND!
…*rewinding*…
PLAY!
Hyuuga Compound, 6:00 am, Hiashi Hyuuga's bedroom:
Hiashi Hyuuga was quietly sleeping, peacefully, serenely, in his large four poster bed. Birds were singing, the sun was shining in through the window, sparkling off of the silvery speakers…?
Hiashi doesn't own speakers…
In front of Hiashi's bed was a large portable stereo system. With an evil grin on his face, Pyro maxed all of the volume settings, than turned the master volume control down. (Hint for some of you, think opening scene of Back to the Future…) Pyro put a cd into the music player and hit play. Right after the intro, he turned up the master volume to the max…
Hiashi POV (sorta)
(American Idiot by GreenDay starts playing softly)
'What is that sound? It sounds like…. that disgraceful rubbish they call, what was it…"punk rock," I think?' Hiashi wondered…
Suddenly everyone in Kohona was jolted awake by a wave of sound. The Hyuugas were flattened against their bedroom walls. Hiashi was forced through the wall of his bedroom, out, past the compound's outer walls, and sent flying across Kohona as the words blasted out at an insane level, and a manically grinning red eyed menace sang along.
"DON'T WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT,
ONE NATION CONTROLLED BY THE MEDIA,
INFORMATION AGE OF HYSTERIA,
IT'S GOING OUT TO IDIOT AMERICA!"
By now everyone who wasn't stone deaf was aware of what was going on. Except for a few odd people:
-Kakashi, who continued to snore.
-Hanabi Hyuuga, who, though awake, was wide eyed with fear. What is going on? Is the world
ending? Tou-sama, Nee-chan, where are you!
-Naruto Uzumaki, Kiba Inazuka, Gai, and Rock Lee, who were too busy rocking out/screaming
about the "YOUTHFUL MUSIC" to care about what was happening.
-Tsunade, who had gotten drunk last night (again) and couldn't think through the combination of
noise and a hangover the size of Choji. *Gasp*…
Oh yes I did….
Choji bursts into the Author's room, eyes blazing white. "ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?" The Author, caught up in his moment of insanity, shouts back: "FAT? FAT? CALLING YOU FAT WOULD BE LIKE CALLING A SUMO WRESTLER ANOREXIC! Oh shit, what the fuck am I thinking…." He trailed off realizing his mistake as Choji advanced on him. "AUTHOR STYLE: CRACK-POWERED-DISTRACTION-NO-JUTSU!" A giant piece of pork appeared in front Choji and began to run away. "MEAT!" cried Choji, running after the pork with a blowtorch in one hand and a bottle of A1 Steak Sauce in the other….
Another Universe:
"Hm? Meat?" A teen wearing a straw hat perked his head up.
"THERE ISN'T ANY MEAT LUFFY, YOU ATE IT ALL ALREADY!" Shouted a teen with a nose like Pinocchio as he smacked Luffy on the back of the head. Luffy jumped up and yelled back at the speaker.
"SHUT UP! I KNOW SOMEONE MENTIONED MEAT!" The two started brawling.
Oh, wait….this is a Naruto fanfic, not a One Piece….where was I again?... OH! The prank on the Hyuugas! Right….. MOVING ON!
Back at the Hyuuga compound:
Neji Hyuuga, flattened against his bedroom wall, managed to use his chakra to claw his way to his door. But when he reached the hallway, he found himself unable to advance. "Urgh….must…protect…main…branch….stop…evil….sounds…."
The veins around his eyes bulged out of habit as he gathered and focused his chakra. "Eight Trigrams: 128-palm floor walking!" He stabbed his hands into the floor once, twice, and pulled himself further. "Two palms!" He pulled himself further along. "Four Palms!" He began to gather speed, crying out, "Eight palms! Sixteen Palms! Thirty-Two Palms! Sixty-Four Palms! One Hundred Twenty Eight Palms!" With his arms a blur of motion, Neji shot across the compound into the main branch building. Straining, he managed to reach Hiashi's room. After a moment of rest (well, clinging to the door frame while panting) Neji managed to sever the main power cable with a Juuken strike. Gasping in relief, he sprawled on the floor, joined by the rest of Konoha. (Except for Kakashi, Naruto, Kiba, Lee, Gai, and Tsunade, who were either asleep, disappointed that the music stopped, still screaming about youth, or too hung-over to care.)
Pyro stopped singing. Frowning, he looked at Neji's limp form. "Aww man, I was having fun." Neji turned his head up to regard the red eyes with a twitching white one. "Are you possessed, drunk, an idiot, or are you just fucking out of your mind?"
Pyro pondered the question. "I prefer 'inspired by God and Satan to punish mankind' to 'crazy', thank you." Neji sweatdropped, thinking, "that's the same as possessed, not crazy. No, when you think about it, his belief makes him sound more crazy than possessed. But that would mean he was calling himself crazy, and to think one is insane and be insane is impossible because of the cognitive-" Neji's increasingly complicated thoughts were cut off by a heavy wave of killing intent. Pyro and Neji turned to the Hiashi shaped hole in the wall. No it was not Hiashi, (he can't move due to his balance being knocked to hell and back by his eardrums bursting) but rather it was roughly 80% of the Hyuuga Clan (minus Neji, Hanabi, Hinata, and Hiashi) glaring through the hole at Pyro., who looked confused. "Only 80%? Let's see…, 2% are gone on missions, so where are the other 18%?" He turned around to look the doorway. "Oh, there you are. Hi!" He waved, "Did I wake you or something?" Veins throbbed as the killing intent increased. "Oh well, gotta be going," Pyro grinned again, "Bye!" He disappeared in a cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared, a yellow ball with a (:P) face was revealed. The ANBU where called, and that brings us to where we are now.
"HAHAHA! LIKE YOU IDIOTS COULD EVER CATCH-" Pyro was cut off as he slammed into the clenched fist of an angry blond drunk. "SHUT THE HELL UP, BRAT!" Tsunade bellowed as Pyro crumpled, before turning on the ANBU, who began to quiver. "I don't want to know what he did at the moment. Just lock him up, I'm sure someone will barge into my office with the story soon enough." She turned and began to stomp back to the Hokage Tower, ignoring the shouts of "Hai, Hokage-sama!" from the relieved ANBU. "I need another drink…" She mumbled.
Hokage Tower:
Unfortunately, Tsunade's drink had to wait, as the elders of the Hyuuga clan called a meeting of the council. Pyro was brought into the council chambers by the ANBU and placed in the center of the room under restraint. He looked around him, bored. There was a Hyuuga elder standing in for Hiashi. All the civilians were glaring at him, along with most of the clan heads.
Tsunade called the meeting to order.
"We are gathered due to the accusations leveled against Pyro by the Hyuuga Clan and the citizens of Kohona.
She unrolled a scroll and began to read from it boredly. "The charges are as follows: Trespassing on private property, assault and battery against a clan head, disturbing the peace, resisting arrest, disrespecting authority and superiors, corrupting the minds of the children….." She paused, scowling, as she took in the rest of the details in the scroll. "However, charges such as 'existing,' 'being a freak' 'looking like a vampire,' etc are NOT valid." A few of the civilian council members looked a bit disappointed at this. Tsunade turned to Pyro, "How do you plead?"
"Zzzzzzzz….."
…
…
Yes….Pyro had fallen asleep….
Tsunade remained impassive, though inwardly she was chuckling at the looks on the Council's faces.
"That kid has balls," Tsume Inazuka muttered, grinning a bit.
"Pyro," Tsunade called out.
"zzzzzzzz….."
"Pyro," she said again, a little louder.
"ZZZZZZZZZ…."
"PYRO!" She roared, and was rewarded with an eye opening.
"…eh?"
"How do you plead?"
"Well, first you get down on your knees and put your hands together like so and-" He was cut off as one of the council members lost his temper. "This insubordination has gone on long enough! This boy is a threat to the security of our village!" He proceeded to rant and rave for a minute about the things Pyro had done. When he was finished, everyone turned to look at Pyro.
"Zzzzzz…"
Now Tsume was openly laughing and Tsunade was smiling.
"DON'T GO BACK TO SLEEP!" The council member bellowed.
"But you're so boring," Pyro whined, pausing to sniff a nearby flower in a vase.
"Pyro, how do you plead?" Tsunade intervened before things got any worse.
"Not guilty." There were open cries of outrage.
"IT WAS OBVIOUSLY YOU!" Shouted a council member.
"Prove it." Pyro replied.
"Oh we have the evidence, plenty of it, here in this folder," The Hyuuga rep said smugly, patting an oversize folder he had pulled out.
"ATCHOO!" Pyro sneezed suddenly. (maybe on purpose) When he did so, a burst of fire shot out of his mouth, incinerating the folder.
….
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" People simultaneously shouted. Pyro looked sheepish.
"Sorry, I'm allergic to this species of flower," he pointed to the one he had recently sniffed.
"LIKE HELL YOU ARE!" People replied. Tsunade held up a hand, trying not to laugh, while Tsume was trying to control her guffaws.
"Actually, he is, it's registered in his medical file."
"THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU SNIFF IT IF YOU ARE ALLERGIC?" Another person bellowed
"I forgot." Now Tsume was rolling on the floor, struggling to breathe, howling. Tsunade was openly laughing.
"LIKE HELL YOU DID!"
"Prove it." Tsume and Tsunade laughed harder as veins throbbed in others, remembering what had just happened when the Hyuuga had tried to prove Pyro did something. Even the ANBU were snickering.
"WE CAN HAVE INOICHI SEARCH YOUR MIND, BRAT!" Inoichi paled at the mention of this.
"Oh, HELL no!" He stated flatly. People looked at him in surprise.
"The last time I went inside that kid's mind, I had to be in therapy for months. No one can enter his mind without going insane." Pyro grinned broadly at this.
"Thank you."
'That wasn't a compliment…' everyone thought, sweatdropping.
"Wait, what about witnesses?" another council member asked.
Shikaku shook his head. "Due to the Hyuuga clan's… history… with Naruto and Pyro, I wouldn't put it past them to commit perjury. The witness would have to come from outside the Hyuuga clan." He paused a moment. "However, it is obvious that Pyro was trespassing on private property, and did resist arrest. But, we cannot punish for 'resisting' if all he did was run away."
The Hyuuga clan rep was glaring at Shikaku now.
Tsunade managed to stop laughing. "Since there is no evidence to support the accusations – excepting that of trespassing, I hereby dismiss the other charges."
She turned to Pyro again as Tsume got up off of the floor.
"Pyro, seeing as you were… asleep… when the charges were listed; does your plea of 'not guilty' stand for the charge of trespassing?"
"Dunno."
… "What?"
"It's not like they have any right to take me in anyways." Now everyone in the council was confused along with Tsunade.
"What do you mean? The act of trespassing is punishable by law." Stated Shibi Aburame.
Pyro stretched his arms. "I was never read my rights." More confusion.
"Your rights?"
"Yes, I was never read my rights after being taken into custody and brought to trial."
"What? There isn't a law for that!" shouted a civilian.
Pyro sighed, bored. "Put into law in the time of the Nidaime by the Uchiha Police Force, Section 12, Article 4, Rights of Suspects, states clearly: 'In the event that any valid citizen or citizens of Kohona are taken or to be taken into custody, the person or persons responsible for apprehending them must remind them of the following: They have the right to remain silent, anything they say may be used against them in a court of law, they have the right to waive a trial and accept whatever charges are against them,' etc…" Pyro continued, "'In the event that the suspect or suspects are NOT read said rights before being taken into custody, or in the event such a thing is not possible at the time, as soon as said rights can be made evident to them, before any trial is held, a mistrial is to be declared and the suspect or suspects are to be released from custody.' We are in a trial right now, and I never heard my rights being given to me." Pyro finished, yawning. Normally a great deal of shouting and accusations of lying would follow such a statement, but after previous incidents of finding themselves in the wrong, the council had learned not to underestimate Pyro's knowledge of Kohona Law. Instead, they all turned to Inoichi and Shikaku, who were the closest thing to lawyers they had. "Is does such a law exist?" Another civilian asked them. Shikaku, after thinking for a moment, nodded. "Yes, though it hasn't been brought up in a while, the law, known also as the Miranda Rights, was made to protect the people from an abuse of power by law enforcement, and while it was intended for civilians, it does not exclude shinobi." This was greeted by moans of defeat and Tsunade declared a mistrial and the Anbu removed Pyro's restraints. Then the Hyuuga rep remembered something. "But it DOESN'T say that the person is pardoned of the charges! The removal of his restraints constitutes release from custody! ANBU! Arrest him!" Everyone turned to where Pyro was…only to find that he wasn't there anymore, having taken advantage of the outburst to make his exit unnoticed. Shikaku chuckled. "You would be better off just dropping the charges," he drawled. "By now he is undoubtedly well hidden." The Hyuuga groaned and looked to Tsunade, who shook her head at him. "We can't continue to waste our resources trying to find a person merely to charge him with trespassing." Tsunade said, shrugging as she got up to leave. The others followed suit. The Hyuuga could be heard muttering, "The elders are going to kill me for this." It should be obvious by now that this is not the first time something like this happened. UP NEXT: Drunken Lee, running Pyro
So, what did you think of my first time? Huh? Huh? I remembered a fanfiction called Naruto: One Man Team, (EXCELLENT story) and how the council would pull Naruto in to charge him with something only to find he was within the law and they had messed up. I took that idea and applied it to Pyro. I am afraid that I am unable to write a story with Naruto as the main character, because I am afraid I will turn him into a virtual copy of Pyro. The two are actually very similar based on personality and… other…things. I gotta ask you guys though: Would you like for me to post more information about Pyro in the next chapter, such as what he looks like, his powers, etc. On second though, I will tell you more about what he looks like anyways. But would you like me to explain his abilities? I spent some time developing his character in Gaia. Please review and comment on this, even if it is just a flame. Some of my inspiration for Pyro came from a character named Natsu (guess where he is from for a free cyber cookie!). Anyways, thank you for reading. I hope that this story will grow into something great!