Disclaimer: I do not own Moonlight. The way it takes over my head, it must own me.

This is a real departure for me. It's my first attempt to write in the first person. And I have always been a big Mick/Beth fan, but Coraline got in my head the other day and demanded to be heard. Since I haven't been nice to her in the past, I let her speak. Please read and let me know what you think. I always felt "The Mortal Cure" showed us a different side of Coraline.

White Flag

I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender. There will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be. White Flag by Dido

I stepped out of the elevator and into the hallway lined with oversized portraits. It was unnerving to have them all staring at me. What was I doing here? Did I really think I would be welcome? I had a strong urge to press the button for the elevator and leave. But I didn't.

Lance had warned me that this was an unwise decision, but when did I ever listen to Lance? I knew that I was taking a huge risk here, but here I was, Coraline Duvall St. John, standing outside my husband's apartment. Well to be honest, my ex-husband. I know Mick chose fire to put an end to our marriage but I survived, so I'm not sure where we stand on that. I prefer to still think of him as my husband. He does not. And now here I was standing outside his door, waiting. If I looked up I know my image would be captured by the camera and Mick would be warned I was here. I didn't look up, he would know anyway. I know he's home, his car was in its parking place. And I could hear jazz playing from the other side of the door. It worried me that Beth might be here but I couldn't detect a heartbeat. I knocked.

Seconds ticked by and then I could pick up his scent on the other side of the door. Oh, how I loved his scent. Then the door swung open and Mick stared at me warily.

"Coraline. What are you doing here?" his deep voice was tinged with suspicion.

"Hello Mick. May I come in?" I asked. I tried to quell the quiver in my voice. What if he refused?

Mick stepped back and allowed me to enter. I hurried past him before he changed his mind. I had a strong desire to throw myself into his arms but I knew that would not be well received. I took a seat on the couch in the same place I had sat the last time I was in this apartment.

Mick closed the door and casually came to sit in a chair near me. I know if I had a heart beat it would be pounding erratically. I looked at him and thought he would always be the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on. I had to get a grip on myself, these thoughts were not helping.

"Why are you here?" he asked again. At least he didn't sound hostile.

"I had to see for myself that you survived Lance's beating. I had to come Mick," I said shakily. I looked into his eyes. He still looked suspicious.



"You seem to have survived all right," he stated.

"Lance got what he wanted. He has the compound. I can't do any more research. I'm sorry Mick, it is over," I told him. The plain truth, Lance won and I lost. "Lance delighted in telling me some of what happened after he took me away."

Mick took a few minutes to study me silently. I could feel his distrust.

"Did you expect me to come after you?" he said harshly.

That wasn't a question I was expecting. I know that surprise was written all over my face.

"No," I stammered. "You were human. You couldn't have stopped them. I gave you the compound to give back what I took, even if it was temporary," I tried to explain. "I only wanted to give back your humanity, if just for a while."

"Why did you sacrifice yourself?" he asked in a gentler tone.

He just didn't get it. It was no sacrifice. I could not have let Lance kill him. I looked down at my intertwined fingers.

"I could not let Lance destroy you. I had no choice Mick, it was the only thing I could do," I answered. I didn't know if he could understand that I hadn't been thinking of myself for once.

"I'm sorry you were hurt," he said uncomfortably.

"It's over," I shrugged. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to remember. I wasn't being brave; I just wanted to hide from those memories.

"Lance said you had Josef turn you back almost right away. Why?" I asked. My brother had fed me information in small doses.

"I did it to save Beth. I had to be what I am to protect her," he said, his voice rough with emotion.

I felt the knife of jealousy twist inside me. Beth. The reason he did anything these last twenty-two years.

"I really hoped you could full enjoy your touch of humanity. You were so excited as the compound took effect," I said with a smile. I remembered his joy as the compound had taken over his body. It was like a child on Christmas morning. I had surprised myself by getting caught up in his excitement. Why had I taken him with me into the night? I had put him in danger. I should have known he reverted for Beth. It always came back to Beth.

"I'm sure Josef makes an interesting step-sire," I said trying to lighten the mood in the room. I had always had a fondness for Josef. He so loved being who he was.

Mick smiled in spite of himself.



"He's rather proud of himself," Mick admitted.

I fell silent, for once at a loss for words. I had always felt in control but not tonight.

"Coraline, why did you come here?" Mick asked his tone kind.

I swallowed and knew it was time to take a chance. I looked into his eyes.

"I love you Mick. I needed to say that to you once more," I said going for broke.

His hazel eyes looked disappointed and he shook his head.

"It's too late," he said quietly. "I love Beth."

There, he said it. I knew he would. Another twist of the knife. I had set myself up for that.

"I know," I whispered. "She loves you too. I could tell when she thought I was Morgan. I'm sorry Mick, I did so much wrong."

I could see his pain written on his face. I had stolen so many things from him, inflicted so much pain. I didn't think I could repair the damage.

He must have sensed my feelings.

"It's okay Coraline," he said in a low voice. "The past is past."

"Is it?" I asked hopefully.

"I've come to terms with it," he said shortly.

I couldn't do this anymore. Part of me was screaming to do something, anything to make him reach out for me. I did not want to repeat past mistakes. I had driven him away before trying to manipulate him. It had never worked for long.

"Tell Josef I am glad he survived the explosion," I said getting to my feet.

"Why not tell him yourself?" he asked rising also.

"I'm not staying," I answered. Inside I was dying to have him ask me to stay. I knew the words wouldn't come.

"Where are you going?"

Anywhere but here ran through my head.

"I don't know. Maybe London. I really don't know," I confessed. I tried to sound nonchalant, I'm not sure I succeeded but Mick didn't press the matter. The look on his face caught me off balance. He looked like he cared.



I could feel the moisture building in my eyes, but I would not give in to it. The moment was becoming awkward.

"I shouldn't have come," I said suddenly. "I'm sorry Mick." I moved to the door and Mick's hand shot out and caught my arm.

"We both made mistakes," he told me. His voice was rough. "We weren't right for each other."

Oh, that hurt. More than anything else he could say, that was the worst. He was right for me, I just did everything wrong. I had destroyed my chances when I took that child. Beth again. I had introduced Mick to the person who would take my place in his heart. I guess I had never appreciated the irony before.

I sniffed back the tears and gave him a tight smile.

"I will always love you. And always is a long time," I whispered and pulled out of his grasp. I walked to the door with him following. I paused at the door and looked back at him over my shoulder. He was so close. Tall and handsome, he was the perfect man who had asked me to be his wife. And I had ruined everything by being impatient. If only I had wooed him into the vampire life. If only l had made him want it. If only would get me nothing, I had few regrets in my life but this was the biggest.

On impulse I turned back to him and took his face in my hands. I leaned against him and pressed my lips to his. He stood impassively and then for a brief moment I felt him respond, only to push me away quickly. But a small flicker of hope came to life inside me.

"Goodbye Mick. Take care," I said gathering my pride around me. I don't know how but I walked out the door with my head held high. I heard the door click closed behind me.

As I waited for the elevator my mind whirled. Always was a long time. Mick may have come to accept what he was but he was not ready to turn Beth. He might never be ready. She would age and die, and I had time. I would not raise the white flag and surrender. Someday he might come back to me and I could learn to be patient. What was it that Scarlett O'Hara said at the end of "Gone with the Wind"? Oh yes, "After all…..tomorrow is another day". I could wait for tomorrow.

The end.

Okay, this was my gamble. Did you like it? The show never gave us a lot of Coraline to go on. We only had Mick's memory of events. Please review, I am begging you. Thanks.