The line was long. Hundreds and hundreds of witches waited to get into Witch-Con 2009. Crona the swordmeister stood with her master, Medusa the witch, to get tickets. Crona's partner, Ragnarok popped out of her and yelled, "Are we freaking getting in or not? This is so-" He was cut short by a newspaper flying through the air and smacking him in the face. He got mad, grabbed Crona, and told her, "Listen! Get this newspaper off my face or I'll shove it up your ass!" Crona sheepishly responded, "No! It would itch all day and completely distract me! I don't think I could deal with that!" Medusa grabbed the paper. The headline said: "Avengers Defeat Terrorist With Cube!" (You might not know this if you didn't see Thor, but the "terrorist" is Loki. He's the villain for the new Avengers movie. The "cube" is the Cosmic Cube from Captain America: The First Avenger.) Medusa pulled Crona and Ragnarok out of line. She opened a portal to somewhere else. "Come. We have work to do."
At the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, the Avengers' base, Hawkeye the archer and Black Widow the spy were working out while Hawkeye told Black Widow his troubles. "Narrator, don't make me look like a whiny little girl." Okay, but who else am I supposed to tease? You're the most laughable, anyway. I mean, look at your costume. "Don't talk crap about my costume! Why can't you laugh at Iron Man?" He pays me to not. "Okay, what about Hulk?" Sure. I love committing suicide on a daily basis. "Um, what about Widow?" Ur... well... we're actually kind of dat- "SHUT UP! THE STORY'S BEING HELD UP!" Widow interrupted me. All right, resume. "Thanks. So, where was I, Natasha? Never mind, I remember. So Fury told me, if I didn't like my costume, grab the purple one he had made. This or that." I'd have chosen the purple one. Hawkeye was about to throw some colorful language at me for that last remark when Medusa's portal from before opened up... and out came the terrible trio.
"Well, well, well. Where can I find the Avengers?" Medusa inquired. Hawkeye replied, "We're the Avengers. Well, two of them, anyway." Medusa laughed, "Ha! No, really. Where are they? You're clearly no superhero. I mean, look at your costume." "WHY THE COSTUME? Everyone has to pick on the goddamn costume, don't they?" "I have no need for this. Crona!" Ragnarok turned into Demon Sword mode. Crona ran up to Black Widow, who pulled out a sniper rifle. Crona spazzed, "No, she's got a giant gun! I can't deal with that! Resonance scream!" Ragnarok unleashed sonic waves that made the helicarrier's engines blow out, as well as knocking Black Widow and Hawkeye unconscious. "Crona, carry these two back to our base." Crona nervously said, "I can't carry both of them, they're too heavy! I don't think I could deal with a hernia!" Ragnarok just scooped them up and brought over to the portal.