Reishin-sama hadn't spoken to him in three days, and Kouyuu was starting to think that perhaps it was not a coincidence the silence began the morning after the not-so-innocent night Shuuei spent in his room.
He thought he was used to silence between them. Conversation with Reishin-sama was so far and few between that it seemed they rarely conversed at all, but now it seemed that perhaps they talked more than Kouyuu realized. Words dabbed in between places; a few complaints in the office about the work he eventually pushed all to Kouyuu, a few mockeries in the corridor about Kouyuu's lack of direction that he always laughed about but never left alone. And the silence, in which all these things were absent, was unbearable.
There was a knock. Kouyuu started from his contemplation, and gave a soft "Enter."
A servant, Reishin-sama's personal steward, stood in the doorway, and bowed. "Danna-sama sent word that he wishes to stay the night at Kou Kijin-sama's residence. Does Kouyuu-sama wish to proceed with dinner?"
Kouyuu sighed, a touch more of resignation than he usually allowed in his voice. "Yes, start dinner. Something light will do."
The servant bowed again and left.
"Well, you are abnormally quiet tonight. It's rather disturbing." Houju remarked.
Reishin snorted a soft, mocking laugh, but didn't speak.
Houju had only seen his friend like this on one other occasion, and that was when Shouka, practically the god of Reishin's universe, started distancing himself from the young Kou clan leader.
"Has Shouka-dono finally figured out that you are a selfish, cold-blooded devil incarnate and left you for good?" There was only a touch of mockery in his tone.
Reishin didn't even turn to look at him when he replied, "No."
"I suppose that's well. He might not give me Shuurei's hand if he and you are in discord."
Reishin didn't respond.
Houju frowned. Now it's really disturbing; Reishin always exploded at the mention of his beloved niece.
"Has something happened? This is not like you." Houju asked at last, sighing.
Reishin continued to stare out the window, his chin resting contemplatively on his hand. "I caught Ran Shuuei coming out of Kouyuu's room early morning a few days ago." He said softly, at length.
"So?" Houju retorted. "I'm sure that was not the first time Ran-Shogun has spent the night."
There was another pause, during which Houju could distinctively see that Reishin could not meet this gaze.
"No, it was different. His expression, it was different." Reishin breathed.
Houju looked away, and followed Reishin's gaze. The moon, it was waning. "That is your problem, you can't express yourself properly in front of those you love."
Reishin's brows knitted. "And that's relevant, how?"
Without his mask, it was plain that he rolled his eyes. "With the way you treat him, you can't honestly expect him to stick around forever. Love has its limits, even a love as deep as the one Kouyuu has for you."
Reishin could not refute this. He was stuck. He had always been stuck. It was as though there was an invisible constraint imposed upon him by his position that limited any and every aspect of his life. He could not express his love for Kouyuu, he could not be selfish and let the black grasp of his clan claim the person most precious to him. Yet now, despite his efforts, Kouyuu was going to be taken away.
"If I'm not Kou Reishin, I would kill Ran Shuuei." He whispered.
Houju chuckled. "If you were not Kou Reishin you could not kill Ran Shuuei." Then the humor seeped out of Houju's voice. "But, if you were not Kou Reishin, you wouldn't need to kill Ran Shuuei."
Kouyuu stood outside Reishin's study, his weight shifted from one foot to the other as he tried, for the thousandth time, to get up the courage to knock.
Would Reishin-sama be angry if he just barged in like this? It was probably a sin of insubordination. What right did he have to go inquiring after Reishin-sama the reason that they haven't spoken in a week? It was perfectly within the boundaries of decorum for Reishin-sama not to speak to him if Reishin-sama didn't wish it. It would not be within decorum, however, if he tried to question Reishin-sama on this behavior.
"Kouyuu-sama, is there something wrong?" A passing maid, who had seen Kouyuu standing, rooted to the spot, in front of the master study for the last five minutes, asked.
Kouyuu started violently, and turned to her, an expression of soft resentment hanging on his countenance.
"Oh, no. I'm fine." He murmured, trying vainly to lower his voice.
The sound of doors being opened sounded behind him. Kouyuu winced, and turned around slowly.
As expected, Reishin-sama's face, which took that expression of critical distain, loomed before him.
The maid curtsied and left. Kouyuu suddenly wished he had the gift of invisibility.
"What are you doing standing outside my study?" The tone of the question was harsh.
Now Kouyuu wished he had Shuuei's gift of coming up with a convincing excuse for any awkward situation on the spot.
Reishin rolled his eyes at Kouyuu's attempted stammering. "Come in, you are embarrassing yourself in front of the servants."
Almost imperceptibly, Kouyuu winced. Not only was he embarrassing himself before the servants, he was also embarrassing Reishin-sama. That was the part Reishin-sama left hanging in the silence.
Kouyuu watched in rigid apprehension as Reishin-sama took a seat behind the regal, oak desk. He stood in front of it, shifting form one foot to another as he ransacked his brain for an excuse, any excuse.
Reishin stared, waited, with his hands lying over each other, silently.
The summer heat, which a moment ago had seemed trivial and insignificant, flared in the silence between them, and became oppressing. Their robes, elaborate as they were, felt excruciatingly tight against their bodies in the heated, shimmering silence. The sound of cicadas chirping in the bushes by the pond pressed upon them, filling in the blaring, uncomfortable quiet. Carefully, Kouyuu avoided Reishin's eyes. Carefully, Reishin kept his eyes trained on Kouyuu. Neither spoke.
The warmth of an early summer afternoon collected in the room, spacious as it was, and pooled around them. Glaring, yellow sunshine filtered through the rice paper windows, and fell on the floor.
"Are you going to stand there all day?" The sound of Reishin's voice, though soft like usual, seemed to boom in the stillness.
Kouyuu started, and jerked his eyes toward Reishin. He opened his mouth, and tried to speak, but could not find any words that could alleviate what was, to him, an insufferable position of embarrassment. He stammered incoherently for a second, then hung his head, and murmured, "I'm sorry, Reishin-sama."
Reishin's eyes narrowed. The nameless, unfounded rage he had tried so hard to still, fired up again. The heat was unbearable. The sight of Kouyuu, bowing before him, was unbearable.
He rose abruptly, and came toward Kouyuu. The latter looked up in surprise when the hem of Reishin's robe suddenly came into view. The spine of a fan tipped against his chin, forcing him to focus on Reishin alone.
His fingers wrapped around the fan tightly, too tightly to keep a composed front. Their bodies were inches apart, and between them the air seemed opaque with steam. With the fierce, shimmering heat , the burning gold of sunshine, Reishin's fury paced ever more uncontrollably inside the crumbling cage of his sanity.
A faint blush flooded Kouyuu's cheeks, and an expression of fearful unease entered his eyes. The flaring rage suddenly condensed in Reishin into something recognizable and comprehensive, and his eyes, which were glazed over with a restraining uncertainty before, cleared abruptly and became sharp.
"Why are you sorry?" He hissed.
The look of fear in Kouyuu's eyes intensified, and Reishin's fury burned even more. Did he show that expression of terror when he was with Ran Shuuei?
"I…I…uh…" Kouyuu stuttered, his chin uncomfortably tilted by Reishin's fan so that he couldn't help but stare directly into the latter's eyes. "I'm sorry…for…intruding—"
"Wrong!" Reishin barked.
Kouyuu jumped at the sharpness of Reishin's tone. The anger concealed thinly beneath the veil of aloofness was betrayed ruthlessly by that tone. "I…I...don't understand…"
"Isn't it normal for anyone to resist when something invades their…space?" Reishin would've said 'territory', but the vulgarity of which was too much for him, even in his current state of mind.
Kouyuu stilled and shook, his bangs falling into his face so that his eyes were obscured. Reishin-sama shouldn't say things like that; things like that gave him hope where he knew there was none, and made him even more incapable of dealing with his disappointment than he already was.
"I don't understand what you mean."
Please, if my hopes must be shattered in the end, I'd rather not have them at all...
Reishin's fan tipped slightly higher, and his voice became quiet. "Did you really think I would do nothing after seeing Ran Shuuei" He spat the name spitefully. "come out of your room at such inappropriate hours?"
It's all the same, just a series of disappointments in an endless stretch of unfulfilled want.
The though brought a wave of frustration to Kouyuu. He snapped away from Reishin's fan, stumbling backwards as he shouted, "What is it to you if Shuuei came out of my room at dawn? I have the freedom to bed whom I choose, do I not?"
…Because you don't want me, you don't take what's yours, I gave it away, because only then could the pain of abandonment be lessened…
Reishin's eyes narrowed sharply. The little idiot, he did bed Ran Shuuei after all…
This feeling exuding from within, this strange, forlorn disappointment lurking quietly beneath his anger…what can it mean?
At length, Reishin collected himself, and, with a voice saturated by a feverish chill, hissed, "You have transgressed against me, Kouyuu, for the act of which you shall be punished."
I know I gave you the choice to choose between me and the world, but I'm retracting that now, because I'm not strong enough, because I'm a very selfish person, because I'm afraid you will abandon me.
The expression in Reishin-sama's eyes, that foreign and forcefully suppressed sadness, terrified Kouyuu.
"Reishin-sama…" He murmured as Reishin advanced toward him, backing him against the wall beside the bed.
"I will not give you to Ran Shuuei. I will not give you to anyone!" He leaned close, so close that Kouyuu could smell the faint scent of plum blossoms on his guardian's hair. "You may thrash against me, but I will not let you go."
The last word died in the air, like the mist that may or may not have been there in the first place, as Reishin's lips closed unexpectedly over his own. All thoughts became a murky pool of smoke when Reishin's tongue breached Kouyuu's lips. He could not understand what was happening, only that he was taken by a sensation particular to that of having a long yearned-for desire suddenly satisfied.
Reishin's kiss was unlike Shuuei's, they were elegant, like Reishin, but that elegance had an edge of savagery, of fiercely asserted possessiveness that belied a most violent passion.
"You belong to me, Kouyuu." Reishin, with a voice so uncharacteristically hoarse, whispered against his ear when their lips finally parted.
Kouyuu shuddered in Reishin's arms, his body half limp from the kiss.
"You have belonged to me since you first took my hand." Reishin rested his head on Kouyuu's shoulder, breathing the latter's familiar scent. "And you absolutely do not have my permission to leave me."
Indulge me, Kouyuu, just this once, because I cannot let you go.
All this time, I could not see through your intricate mask, but now I will show you, that I can meet all of your petty, insecure demands.
"Reishin-sama," Kouyuu purred on an exhale, his breath tickling Reishin's ear. "I've never belonged to anyone else." He slid his arms around red, silky robes. "And I would never be with anyone, but you."