It was lunch time. And as we all know, all the important things happen during lunchtime. Whether it's breakups, get togethers, major friend feuds, betrayals, back stabbing, accusations...OH! Sorry, there: the author-ess got sidetracked by the real world. Anyway, where was she? Ah yes. But none of that was happening today at lunch. Instead, the group of (the author-ess pauses to count) fifteen was sitting around, eating, gossiping, complaining, and reminiscing. Just the type of stuff that normal teenagers do, except for the whole BACKSTABBING things, ya know, but hey! They haven't had need for all that, yet: they just tell each other what they think to their faces.

"Bastard with a stick up your ass who thinks everyone but him is insignificant!"

"Pompous pretty boy who cares for his hair far more than his boyfriend!"

See? But with the bastard and pretty boy from above, well, they are too arrogant to care what others think of them.

So what are these fifteen wonderful, intellectual, gifted, focused students doing at lunch this very moment? Well, the math geeks are over there studying, if you need them. Over there, in the reject corner. The fifteen delinquents that we are focusing this story on however, the author-ess has already mentioned: eating, gossiping, complaining, and even reminiscing. There was also some perverted jokes being exchanged, but what else was there to be expected?

"Om nom nom nom." Yes, that was Chouji, chowing down on Neji's, Tenten's, Shikamaru's, Naruto's, Kankuro's, and his own school cafeteria pizza. Now, why did only Neji, Tenten, Shikamaru, Naruto, and Kankuro give their pizza to Chouji? Well, they were the only ones who bought their lunch at the school. Everyone else either brought theirs from home, or bought theirs at Mickey D's, or some other fast food joint their peers worked at. Why did Chouji have the food? Well, one couldn't really call it food...and only Chouji could stomach it.

"Uggh! How can you eat that crap? Just think of all the calories, and fatty juices, and radioactive sludge that those shifty cafeteria workers could have accidentally spilled into the mix!" And that was Tenten, grimacing as she watched the younger teen shovel the suspicious pizza (which didn't even look like pizza should, by the way) into his mouth by the second. Ino had long since turned away to prevent herself from spilling the lunch she had bought at Subway.

"Oh, my, GOD! I heard that Hayate and Genma got together!" squealed Sakura, the official unofficial president of the unofficial yaoi lovers club, as well as school gossip queen.

"No, way!" screamed Ino in her highest, yaoi fan girl slash school gossip co queen voice as her eyes widened, like her grin. However, the news was, in fact, 'way', and Ino knew it.

"Okay, so Mary and Allen are in bible school. Mary has fallen asleep and Allen is poking her in the back repeatedly with a pencil. The teacher says, 'Mary, who created the universe?' At that time, Allen has poked her especially hard in the back. She wakes up and says, 'God, Allen!' 'Correct, Mary,' the teacher says, and so Mary falls asleep again. Allen continues poking her in the back with his pencil. The teacher then decides to say, 'Mary, who sacrificed himself to save us all?' Allen once more decides to poke Mary extra hard with his pencil. Mary wakes up again and says, 'Jesus Christ!' 'Good, Mary,' the teacher says. Mary falls asleep again, and Allen resumes poking her with his pencil, only this time in her ear. The teacher says, 'Mary, what did Eve say to Adam after their last child was born?' Allen practically jams his pencil in her ear, and Mary wakes up and screams, 'You stick that thing into me one more time and I swear I will break it in half!'"

The end of the joke was met by ramen being spewed across the table, milk being squirted from noses, and wild guffaws from every which direction. Kankuro grinned proudly at having completed his joke correctly. Little did he know, he used the word 'says' too many times.

To wash the rest of the ramen that had not been spewed across the table, Naruto began taking several gulps of his chocolate milk, causing it to dribble messily down his chin. Seeing his opportunity, Sasuke pounced at his dobe and immediately began 'cleaning him up'. Yes, the author-ess means that Sasuke began licking the milk off of his boyfriend's face.

Seeing the outcome of Naruto's mess, Gaara immediately picked up his strawberry mouth and splashed some on his face. He turned to Neji and said, "Clean me up." When Neji reached for a napkin, Gaara grabbed his wrist and growled, "Without using you hands." Neji looked over at Sasuke and Naruto, then dawned the 'Oh!' face. He then proceeded to clean his own boyfriend up.

All the while, Tenten had quietly stood up and slunk off stealthily (like a ninja, OMG!) to only Sasuke knows where. But seeing as he is occupied at the moment, the author-ess will tell you: the teacher's lounge. Where 'Kakashi-sensei' is.

But what of the other couple, Shino and Kiba? Well, as much as Kiba would have loved to lick flavored milk off of Shino's face and or mouth, Shino sadly was not one for public shows of affection (though rumor has it that he more than makes up for it in bed, but that's only a rumor, silly!). So the dog lover and bug lover decided instead to reminisce.

"Hey, Shino! Remember when I found the Pink FlexiRuler of Love in my binder?" Kiba asked, bringing up the groups favorite/ most despised topic, the rose-colored bendable measuring instrument of affection. That's the Pink FlexiRuler of Love fore anyone who didn't catch onto the fact that the author-ess was using synonyms.

"..." replied Shino. Now to anyone who did not know Shino would have thought that the young man was ignoring them, or asleep. Those who did, however, would have known that he quite clearly said, "Yes, I do. Honestly, Kiba, how do think I could forget THAT?!"

And now, with the help of this conveniently placed flashback, the story of Shino, Kiba, and The Pink FlexiRuler of Love will be explained to the readers, courtesy of the author-ess.

Flash!Back

Kiba was sitting at his desk, the one in the very back and behind his best friend Shino's, petting his smuggled-in pup, Akamaru. However, Kiba was not smiling. In fact he was not doing a lot of things. To start a list of things one would do in school, but Kiba was not, the top several would have to be learning, listening, writing, reading, and arithmetic-ing. Definitely not arithmetic-ing. In fact, no one ever did the arithmetic-ing. So what was the point in teaching kids to do arithmetic-ing? That's right. There was none.

Anyway, what was Kiba doing, you may ask? Well, he was arguing. Arguing with Shino, to be more exact.

But what was he arguing over? Well, Kiba had accused Shino of giving Akamaru fleas. Which was not very nice of Kiba. Not very nice at all. Bad Kiba! No doggie treats for you after dinner!

And of course, Shino had denied this accusation with a firm, "..."

Thus the argument had started, and so far had not ended. It was a very loud argument. Either the teacher was deaf, or he just didn't care, because he hadn't told the two of them to shut up yet.

And Sasuke really wanted the two pals to shut up. And when the author-ess says really, she means it.

As most have observed, Sasuke is the kind of person who is very alert to details and subtle hints. Thusly, he knew that deep within himself, Kiba liked Shino. Very muchly. Okay, so maybe not that deep. The same could be said for Shino. Even with his high collar of his shirt, Sasuke could see the bug lover's blush whenever Kiba touched him.

Therefore, Sasuke decided to actually do something about it.

And that's where the Pink FlexiRuler of Loves falls in.

So, while Kiba was too busy ranting about his precious pup and the abominable fleas from hell, aka Shino's coat, and Shino was too busy rolling his eyes from behind his dark tinted glasses for either to notice anything, Sasuke slipped out of his chair, and slunk beside Kiba's desk. Once there, he stealthily slid the precious ruler of all-knowing into the canine lover's notebook. Then, he returned to his chair to resume operation HUKAS. Or to all those who has little creativity and or patience, Hook Up Kiba and Shino.

"Kiba, pass me a piece of paper, will you?" It was a demand, and everyone knew it. Screw manners.

"Sure," Kiba said absently, his attention still focused on his best friend. AND SECRET LOVER! No, just crush. For now. Anyway, despite lack of focus, Kiba still opened his binder...

...and let out a shriek that would have put an opera singer to shame. For what he saw was none other...

...than the Pink FlexiRuler...

...(dun dun dun) of Love!

No one saw that coming. Seriously.

Kiba grabbed the ruler and began screaming again, waving it around like a maniac. In retrospect, that was really stupid of him: it's not like he knew the true powers (which are in fact so important that they need to be capitalized, therefore being The True Powers) of the Pink FlexiRuler of Love were.

Shino, now being to get a migraine, grabbed the ruler out of his buddy's hand and clamped his other hand over Kiba's mouth. That action made both blush. Haha. Secret lovers...

Now Sasuke, as soon as the ruler was in Shino's hand, had pressed a button on his cell, causing a certain song to play. And what might that song be?

Why, it was 'Secret Lovers,' of course!

Which made Kiba open his mouth to retort. But he forgot that Shino's hand was over said opening. So what happened? Well, let's just say that a certain (wet) limb from within the dog-boy's mouth passed over a certain part of the bug-boy's body which was covering said opening, causing the bug-boy to let out a lust filled moan.

And what happened after that?

Well, let's just say that the Secret Lovers became not-so-secret lovers and in the end retired to the, excuse me, The Janitor's Closet.

End!Flash!Back

"To The Janitor's Closet?" asked Kiba all of a sudden.

"..." responded Shino huskily, meaning of course, "JANITOR'S CLOSET, AHOY!"

Thus ends another 'special' lunch hour for our (the author-ess pauses to count once more) fifteen (well, technically, now there are only twelve) teens.

Elfling would like to apologize for the probable grammar mistakes she probably made. She would also like to apologize for not uploading this sooner. In fact she didn't even start this until yesterday, due to emo-ness and needing to write pointless fluff. Wait…isn't the definition of fluff, pointless humor/ romance? Huh. Elfling is being redundant today. Oh, right! Elfling would like to mourn the loss of these characters who are not in this story:
-Haku-san
-Deidara-chan
-Tobi-kun
Kthxbai

Elfling would also like to make clear that the song Secret Lovers is not hers, and neither is Naruto.