I've never been the type to talk. At all. Especially not with strangers. I was a good girl; I always did what Mommy told me to. But I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Not now, since she's . . . gone.

But now they've come after me. Damn it! What did I ever do to them? Nothing! This is all his fault. That idiot; why did you leave us alone Father? Was it my fault? Did I ruin your plans? Even if I did, you shouldn't have left her all alone. Being a single mom in Italy... you get belittled. And since I only had her, I'm alone. And running.... from a maniac... that wants to kill me. Gee, thanks Dad.

Well, it's better than sitting at home. What am I talking about? No it's not! I'm getting chased by a psychopath and I'm glad I'm not sitting at home? ... I've gone crazy.

Ouch... What? Why am I lying down? Oh... I must have tripped. Damn it. AH! Shit! That hurts! Get your foot off me, you bastard! Why don't you just stop trying to kill me? This is so pointless. Why am I even struggling...? I have nothing to live for. Mom's dead. Father's missing. I have no one else. I thought I wasn't ready to die... but maybe I am. I don't care anymore. I... I just.... I want my mommy. I need her smile. I'm sorry Mom. I never wanted this to happen. I'm sorry Father. I never meant to ruin your plans. Send me to the people I need, god! Put me out of my misery!

***

"Yea, I just found her like that."

"They why are you all bloody?"

"Well, some guy was beating on her..."

"Voooiiii!! What do you think you're doing? The boss is going to freak! And you'll end up putting the blame on me somehow!"

"Ushishishi. You bet it."

"Voooiiii! You little brat...!"

"Ushishishi. You're just jealous you didn't find her!"

"No I'm not! She's skinny! She'd be of no use to me. To any of us! Voooiiii! Why did you bring such a worthless girl here?!"

Worthless.... That's exactly what I am. Worthless. No one wants me. I bet Mom wanted to die. Just to get away from me. I'm such a screw up. I'm sorry Mom, Dad. I hope you're in a better place. I hope you won't have to deal with me anymore.

"What's wrong with her? Is she having a nightmare?" Someone put there hand on my cheek, "She's crying...."

"Voi! Why do you care?" The other person snapped.

I hadn't even noticed I started crying. Damn it! Why is this happening?!

*"Dove mi trovo?" I asked, not opening my eyes.

"Oh shit... you're awake." The hand retreated from my face.

"Dove cazzo sono io?" I asked, sitting up. I opened my eyes, now looking at a wall.

"Ushishishi. Such a bad tongue for a girl."

I turned to look a blond boy, his bangs hanging in front of his eyes. A small tiara sat atop his head, and a sly grin was spread across his face.

I tried to hide my anger. Why did he bring me here? Didn't he know I wanted to die? What's wrong with him?

"Answer my f*cking question or I'm going to scream." I said feeling tears sting my eyes again.

"You're at the Varia headquarters." Said the other man in the room; his voice hurting my ears.

"Vongola's Ultimate Independent Assassination Team, eh? I really fell into the wrong hands." I said, tears unconsciously spilling out of my eyes.

The blond frowned, "What do you mean? I saved your life!"

"Who said I wanted to be saved?!" I screamed, unable to stop my tears, "I wanted to die! I have nothing to live for! Why did you save me?"

I couldn't see his eyes, but I knew the blond was staring at me. I hung my head, lifting my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

"Like the silver-haired guy said; I'm worthless. Why would you save a stupid, weak girl like me?"

"I could have ripped you apart." The boy said, getting out 3 knives.

"Then what are you waiting for?" I asked, looking at him.

He continued to frown, "You're not worthy."

I let out a wail, slumping over and hitting my head against the wall.

The door slammed open, "What's going on in here?"

"Voi! I don't want to be part of this!" The silver-haired guy said loudly before stomping out of the room.

"Bel?"

"This girl wants to die." The blond said.

"Why?"

The blond shrugged. "I won't kill her though."

"Why not?"

"No point in killing someone who wants to die; there's no struggle."

"I don't care! Just give me a knife! I'll do it myself!" I cried, ripping my head upward, to look at the blond.

He turned from me, "No. Use a kitchen knife, not one of mine."

He walked out of the room, passing a black haired man. I gasped.

Him? Is it him? It can't be! He's gone! Those scars, they look exactly like his! But this is impossible! He looks so old! Mom said he would be.... at least 20.

"Xanxus..." I said quietly.

"How do you know my name?" He asked questionably, raising an eyebrow.

"It's me. Violetta! D-don't you remember?" I asked desperately.

I watched his eyes widen and an outward gasp escaped his lungs. He muttered my name, "Violetta...."

"I'm sorry Xanxus. I didn't mean to come here. Give me a pair of cloths and a few minutes and I'll be out of your life forever."

"What are you talking about?!" He came over, grabbed me and picked me up, "You think I want you to leave now?!"

"But I thought..." My sentence drifted off.

He pulled me close to him, "No way! You're my little sister! I'm not going to let you go now! I just found you! After 15 years! I finally found you!"

I grasped his shirt tightly, my head hitting his shoulder, "Why? Why do you want me? Why didn't that blond let me die?! Why don't you just kill me!?"

"Because you're important, Violetta! I don't want you to leave!"

"But Father ran away!" I screamed, "He never wanted me! I ruined everything for him! And now Mom's dead! I won't see her again unless I'm with her! Please, God! Just kill me!"

"Violetta..." Xanxus said, pulling me down to sit on the bed. I looked down at the floor, my hands clasped tightly to each other. "Look at me Violetta."

I slowly turned to look at him. He had a sad look in his eyes. I choked, tears still coming uncontrollably out of my eyes. I couldn't speak, I whispered one word. "Why?"

"Violetta. Father didn't run away. You never ruined anything. Mother kicked Father out because he was a drunk. I don't know who killed Mother, or why they killed her, but I know that she wouldn't have wanted her little girl to die just because of her."

"I don't care anymore! I don't have anything to live for anymore!" I sobbed, pulling him closer and clinging to him.

"Sshhh... It's alright Violetta. You'll be alright." Xanxus picked me up, standing so I could wrap my legs around his waist. He sat down on the bed, leaning his back against the wall as he held me. He pet my head, his fingers tangling through my hair, then untangling themselves before they got to the bottom of my knotted locks. He kept repeating, 'You'll be alright' until, finally, I decided to believe him.

Violetta. Don't worry. You'll be alright. You have someone to live for.

***

My mother was the most beautiful woman in the world. She had long, flowing black hair and dazzling eyes that could stun anyone from just one look. She was on the pale side, but she wouldn't have looked good with a tan. My Father fell for her with one look. She had been playing the violin outside the Duomo di Milano when he saw her.

It was late at night, said Mother when she told me the story, and not many people were out. But the few people would listen to her play. Some would go over and throw coins at her feet, although she didn't need them. She just wanted to play somewhere where she wouldn't get in trouble for it. In a city this dangerous, she didn't have many places to go.

He had come over and asked for her number, which was weird and kinda creepy. But for some reason, she gave him her number. After a year of going out, he asked for her hand in marriage. She said yes, and after a two months, she became pregnant with Xanxus, my older brother. Since she had married my father at the age of 23, they weren't ready for the child. That's why, after discovering he was so powerful, they gave him to the 9th Vongola boss. When he was 9, I was born, and since my mother was now, 32, she decided to keep me. But she never told me why my father had to leave. She just said he left, and wouldn't say anything else.

Now, I'm back in Xanxus' arms, and I don't think I would've lived unless he had been there. But I doubt the rest of the Varia like me much. I could feel them glare at me as I walked down the hallway or something. I reverted back to my old self, the one that didn't talk much. I only ever spoke to Xanxus, and that was only if he asked me something. His frequent question was 'Are you alright, Violetta?' Of course, since I was still recovering, my answer was always, 'Of course I am. Don't worry about me.'

Turns out, Xanxus only knew I was related to him because the adoption papers said that he had a sister, and it showed a little picture of me when I was five. I guess I still look the same; still childish and young. But he's helped fill in the gaps; why the 'birthmark' on my back look so much like one of the scars on his face; why Father 'ran away'. I've found that my life has been riddled with lies; holes in the story that are now all patched up. But I'm not sure what I like more; holes or patches.

***

It was late, midnight maybe, when Levi, Lussuria and Bel came walking into my room. I had been asleep until Lussuria let out a squeal. I turned to look at them as Bel touched my cheek gently.

"Are you awake Violetta?" He asked. I could almost see his eyes, since his bangs were hanging down, moving slightly from his face.

"Mmmm..... Now I am..." I said, rubbing my eyes tiredly, "What are you guys doing in here? Why aren't you asleep?"

"Come on. We want to show you something." Bel said, taking his hand off my face.

I yawned, sitting up. "But I'm in my pj's.... Shouldn't I-"

"It's alright. Just put a sweater on or something. No one is going to see us." Bel said, grabbing a sweater off my desk chair and handing it to me.

Lussuria squealed again, "Oh! This is so exciting! We've never brought a girl there before! Oooohhhh!!"

"Shut up Lussuria. You're going to wake Squalo up." Levi said from the doorway.

I got out of bed and put the sweater on. Bel ushered me out the door and softly closed it. I noted that the other three were also in their pj's. Well, Levi and Lussuria were in pj's... Bel just had his boxers on. I was quiet, just like always as we silently made our way out of the headquarters. Lussuria squealed again as soon as we got outside.

"Stop it you idiot!" Levi hissed at Lussuria as he turned on a flashlight.

I looked at Bel, "Can you at least tell me where we're going...?"

Bel shook his head, then grinned, "Ushishishi. You'll just have to wait and see. This will be interesting to see."

"If you guys do anything bad to me, I'm going to get Xanxus to beat you up."

Lussuria laughed, "Oh Vio! It's alright! We won't hurt you!"

He placed his hand on my shoulder and smiled.

I looked up at him; he looked like a nice enough guy. I gently smiled back. We continued to walk down a path in the woods, Levi leading us further into the darkness.

"Violetta...?" Bel asked after a while.

"Yea...?" I said, glancing over to him,

"How come you never talk?" He asked, looking at me.

"I don't really need to, do I?" I said as something rustled in the bushes. I moved closer to him, "Oh my god!"

"Ushishishi. Calm down. It's just something small. Nothing's going to hurt us." Bel said, chuckling slightly.

"Shut up! I don't like getting scared!" I said, linking my arm with his, "These woods are so creepy."

"Oh! You're so cute Vio!" Lussuria said, jumping up and down a few times.

"We're here." Levi said, turning his flashlight off. It was suddenly pitch black.

"Gwah! Turn the flashlight back on, Levi!" I said, panicking.

"Ushishishi. It's alright, Violetta. We're all here. Nothing's going to hurt you. And you won't need the flashlight." Bel said, taking my hand in his.

"What do you mean?" I asked as we passed through an entrance in a bush.

"Look." Levi said, pointing up.

I followed his gaze and gasped, "Oh my goodness."

The sky was littered with stars. Some brighter than others, but all amazing; I guess out here in the Italian country side, you can really see the stars. I felt Bel squeeze my hand tighter. Out of reaction, I sat down on the rock we were standing on. Bel slowly sat down beside me, my hand still clasped in his.

"Oh! I love coming out here!" Lussuria said, sitting on the other side of me.

"How did you guys discover this place?" I whispered, not wanting to break the magic.

"I couldn't sleep one night and started wandering around. I found this when Lussuria pushed me through the bushes and I fell backwards, seeing the sky." Levi said. "It's still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Gosh. I wish they had this sky everywhere." I said, subconsciously leaning my head on Bel's shoulder.

"They do. It's just because of the large amount of light pollution." Bel said quietly.

We all didn't say anything for a minute.

"Look!" Bel said after a second. His hand moved from mine to wrap around my waist. He pulled my slightly closer and he lifted his other arm to point at a cluster of stars. "That's Scorpius."

"Oh! Oh! Over there is Canes Venatici!" Lussuria said, waving his arm towards another clump of stars.

They all started pointing to different groups of stars and naming the constellations. I lay my head on Bel's shoulder, following the fingers from one constellation to another. Once they ran out, we decided to head back.

But, unfortunately, the clouds rolled in and it started pouring. We had to run through a forest, in the dark, in the pouring rain. What fun!

Thank god we didn't get lost. We almost got attacked by a racoon or something, and we ended up getting very dirty and wet, but we got back to the headquarters alive.

When we stepped back in, Lussuria let out a squeal, "Oh! I hate being wet! I have to go change!"

He proceeded to his room while I rung out of my sweater. Levi hung up his jacket and Bel did the same. Bel looked over to me, "Do you have anything else to sleep in tonight?"

I looked at him and frowned, "No."

A sudden flash of lightning and a crash of thunder caused me to scream.

"Hey! What are you screaming for?" Levi asked, baffled at my sudden outburst.

Another flash of lightning and wild crack of thunder gave me another loud scream.

"Ushishishi. What a storm!" Bel said, grinning as he looked out of the window.

I ran to my room, slamming the door closed as I let out a sob.

Don't think I'm a wuss or anything. I was –am- terrified of lighting storms. I was little when I almost got crushed by a tree during a lightning storm. Just rain is fine, but when the lightning starts, I start freaking out. Mother, for some reason, was often out during these storms, so I was left alone. She told me to get over it, be a big girl and stand tall. But I... I just couldn't.

I covered my ears, my tears flowing down my cheeks. Another lightning bolt and crack of thunder filled my ears and I screamed a third time. God! Why does this always happen? Why am I so scared?

"Violetta? Are you alright?" I heard Bel ask from the other side of my bedroom down.

Why is he here? Why is he being so nice to me all of a sudden?

I sniffled, then whispered, ever so quietly, "No..."

This one was the loudest. It must have been over 1000 decibels. The lightning and thunder came at the same time. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was terrified. I was going to die if I didn't find somewhere to hide. I crawled away from the door and hid under the bed.

"Ushishishi. That was loud." Bel said, turning the doorknob and stepping into my room. When he looked around and didn't see me, he got confused, "Violetta?"

"Go away." I sobbed. "Leave me alone."

He got on his hands and knees and bent down to look at me. I hid my face, not wanting him to see my weakness. I sobbed, "Go away."

"You're scared..." He said quietly. The tip of his finger touched my nose, "It's alright. I'll protect you if you're afraid."

"I don't need you!" I cried as another wild crack of lightning lit up the sky and a thunder loud enough to beat 100 Squalo's echoed throughout the house. I screamed and crawled out from beneath the bed, flying into Bel's arms.

"You'll be alright Violetta. I'll protect you. I promise." Bel said, petting my head softly, "I will."

* She's talking in Italian. She's asking, Where am I, and then she addes the F word. -.-"