A/N: okay so I haven't been writing as much as I used to and this idea popped into my head. Actually The Man popped into my head. Anyway, this is the story of The Man, as told to by ILikeScarvesandGuitars. Enjoy!

"So I was walking down the street one day, carrying some jam." The Man tells me to type.

I type as fast as I can, not wanting to let The Man down. Nor do I want him to break any bottles of his strawberry jam.

He watches me type, his legs crossed and sitting in one of those cool office chairs. I show him what I type.

"Not good enough. And change the music. I hate the Go-Go's. Except the blonde one."

I start to argue that I don't think that there was a blonde Go-Go when he hushes me by sticking some jam into my mouth.

Like…actual jam.

I chew on the jam a bit, turn the music to something else, and he nods approvingly.

As I start to type again, he pushes me away from the desk.

"Let me type." He says, handing me his jam.

"But if you type it'll probably take longer." I attempt to argue. The Man likes to have his way, you know.

"Hush. The Man wants to type. Rule One: you cannot argue with The Man. Unless your name is Roger. But look what happened to him."

I nod and I back away from the desk.

"There," he says, "Much better. We begin…."

"From now on, you I will refer to you as The Girl."

The Girl shrugs her shoulders and watches me, The Man, type.

"Why does it always say it's a spelling error when I type my name?" I, The Man asks.

The Girl shakes her head. "No, it says that the 'm' in Man should be a lower case letter."

I, The Man frowns. "But I am The Man. The MAN."

"I don't think the computer knows that."

"Well it should."

I, The man, er, The Man, started to type.

I, The Man sighed. "Now we shall begin my story. And you may ask questions."

"What do you want me to say?" The Girl asks.

"Like you are interviewing me."

"Okay," The Girl said thoughtfully. "Where were you born?"

The Man, as in, me, the one who is typing, smiles and sits back in The Chair.

I mean, the chair.

"Well, I suppose I was born in The House."

"The House?" The Girl questions.

"Yes." I, The Man, answered.

"Okay then." She ponders some more. "Who are your parents?"

"The Old Man and The Old Lady."

The Girl looks at me like she just ate some bad jam.

"Okay so you are The Man now, what were you when you were a little boy?"

"….The Little Boy."

"When you were a teenager?"

"…The Teenager."

The Girl raises an eyebrow.

"Just where were you born?" She asks.

"The--"

"Don't say 'The Town'." The Girl says, cutting me off.

"Yes, I was going to say 'The City', as in…New York City? You know….that's what they call it."

The Girl looks annoyed.

"How about we end questioning for the night, please." She begs.

The Girl looks over my shoulder.

"I didn't beg!"

"Fine fine." I, The Man says, rolling The Eyes. "I'll change it…."

"How about we end questioning for the night, please." She stated kindly.

The Girl nods her head in approval. "Better."

Okay this is close to being a CrackFic but you know. I enjoy it. So does The Man. Please R&R.We promise you some jam.