Title: Pretty
Fandom: Bleach
Pairing: Ulquiorra, Aaroniero
Warning: Alright, since I scarred Taichou for life I should probably add to this that there is some mythical creature death, and general arrancar apathy towards it. . So...yeah.
Summary: Aaroniero has something he wants to share.
A/N: This is OOC, and not betaed in the least. But...it made me! points and ducks. I think KT would be proud of the sheer crack element of it though. He really needs to make with the sharing of whatever he's on! XD Er, minor spoiler for manga chapter 269 and on, I suppose. If you know what you're looking at. Inspired by a friend's LJ layout and the fact that Aaroniero is the prettiest princess of them all. ;)

Ulquiorra was on his way to check on that girl, like he did every day at three o' clock. He let out a belabored sigh as he rounded the corner. He really did do so much for Aizen-sama.

"Ouch!"

"Mmmph," Ulquiorra put a hand over his ribs and glared at the object that had just come flying around the corner at him. Someone was going to die.

"Oh, it's you!" Aaroniero stood up and brushed himself off. He was grinning at Ulquiorra with the face he favored most, the one of that dead shinigami. "I've been looking for you."

Ulquiorra shuddered. "Yes well, I have not been looking for you. So if you'll excuse me." He tried to step around Aaroniero.

"No." Aaroniero reached his foot out so that it was in Ulquiorra's way. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at Ulquiorra. Now someone really was going to die.

"Excuse me?"

"I said no, I've been looking for you, and now I've found you, and now you're coming with me."

Ulquiorra rolled his eyes up so far the pupils almost saw the inside of his skull. He crossed his arms and mirrored Aaroniero. "There is nothing as important as doing Aizen-sama's work." He raised an eyebrow. "And you're telling me you are willing to get in the way of that?"

Aaroniero just grinned again. Ulquiorra sighed. Aaroniero turned on his heel and Ulquiorra followed after him.

…

"What is this…this trash?" Ulquiorra asked. His level voice managed to display his complete and total apathy. Aaroniero was petting the back of something that looked like a horse Gin had showed him once in some pictures from the human world. This thing though, was decidedly not doing what the horse in the picture had been doing.

"It's a unicorn! Isn't it pretty?"

Ulquiorra looked Aaroniero up and down and crossed his arms again. The only two people he had ever heard use that word were Aaroniero and that girl. They probably had a lot in common. His eye started to twitch with the idea of showing Aizen-sama this whole scene later. It would either be very good for him, or very, very bad.

He smiled slowly. "Yes, it is very pretty. I think it could get better though."

"Oh!?" Aaroniero took his hand off the unicorn's back and brought it up to his neck so that his fingers just lightly brushed his collar bone. Ulquiorra would never understand why something as powerful as an arrancar would feel the need to affect human mannerisms. It was all incredibly stupid. Lucky though, as if he hadn't, he might have lost that hand.

In one controlled movement Ulquiorra pulled his blade out of its scabbard and struck the animal through the middle. It didn't make a sound as it slumped down on to its knees. It looked up at him with pitiful eyes. Ulquiorra used the tip of his sword and poked them out. Weakness could not be tolerated. He closed his own eyes and waited for some flamboyant reaction from Aaroniero. He really, really didn't have time for this.

When he heard nothing he opened one eye slowly. Aaroniero was studying the cuff of his dress and straightening the frill with his fingers. His usually white, pristine clothing was splattered in red and seemed to shimmer in Hueco Mundo's unrelenting sun. "I think you're right," he said. "This really is an improvement." A butterfly landed on his outstretched arm. "Oh look! I didn't even know we had these here."

Ulquiorra sheathed his sword and turned on his heel to leave, before he got the urge to make any more improvements.