A/N: Okay so this was an english assignment...she said to write a story using 30 vocab words. She didnt tell if it could be a fanfiction or not (hahhaha) so here it is. I revised it a little for some gramatical errors. Enjoy!! PS the bolded words are my vocab, i was just too lazy to un-bold them
Disclaimer: I don't own RENT. never have, never will. Big suprise. I know...
Surfin' NYC: A RENT Fanfiction
Maureen Jefferson-Johnson awoke in her bed on a Friday Morning. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and it was a beautiful day—on the outside that is. Maureen had a lingering hangover that refused to subside. Maybe, she thought, I shouldn't have downed seven shots in less than five minutes. Maureen's partner Joanne rolled over on her side of the bed still dormant.
"Pookie…" Maureen whispered while trying to succumb Joanne from her slumber, "Pookie, wake up. Pookie!"
"What? Where's the fire!?" Joanne yelled hysterically.
Maureen laughed at Joanne's reaction before leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. "Good morning sunshine!"
"Maureen," the lawyer said, irked that she had been woken up so abruptly, "I was asleep. You know the opposite of awake? What do you want?"
"Some Advil…please," the diva pleaded. Maureen put on her signature put that could get men—and women—all over the East Village to render to her every will. But this was Joanne here; the Harvard grad learned early on never to give into that face. Maureen's attempts were futile on her now. So she did what any other self-respecting woman in her situation would do: she pushed Maureen off the bed.
"Pookie!" Maureen exclaimed in awe, "What was that for?"
Joanne got out of bed ignoring Maureen's question and went into the kitchen to start the tea kettle.
"Honeybear, have you looked outside today? We should go to the beach!" Maureen never was one to hold a grudge and walked into the kitchen of their loft to take a look at the weather herself.
"Wow, you're right Pookie! We should go! Let's call up everyone else and see if they want to go with us!"
Joanne offered to call everyone as Maureen went to go eat a bowl of dry Lucky Charms. As the diva ate she wondered what happy bug had crawled up Joanne's behind. Usually, she had to beg to get Joanne's consent to do anything fun. But for Joanne to even address the idea of going to this venue…well something had to be up. Yet, as finicky as Joanne was Maureen knew better than to argue with a good thing. It was very possible that Joanne could change her mind any second. Joanne briskly walked into her bedroom to call the bohemians. She decided she'd call Roger and Mimi first.
The phone rang. "Hello?" answered Mimi in an annoyingly chipper voice.
"Hey Meems it's Jo."
"Oh hey Joanne, what's up chica?"
"Well Maureen and I were planning on going to the beach today. We were wondering if you and Roger wanted to go too…" Joanne held the phone away from her ear as Mimi squealed with excitement. "I take that as a yes then?"
"Oh, yeah sorry Joanne! Let me ask Roger if he wants to go too, 'kay?" The lawyer held as she heard Mimi screaming at Roger to lull him into coming to the beach.
"Hello Joanne?"
"That's my name darling..."
"Roger's coming too. What time should we be ready?"
"Well it's 11:30 now so how about 1:00. Sound good?"
"Sounds great! See you then, bye Jo."
"Bye Mimi." After Mimi's screams, Advil didn't sound too bad right about now. But the lawyer still had to call the loft so she figured she might as well get that over with first. She dialed the number and as always the answering machine picked up.
SPEEEEEEEAK!
"Hello, is anybody home?" Collins finally picked up the phone.
"Hey Joanne, what's up home skillet biscuit?"
Joanne smiled, "We're all going to the beach today and were wondering if you, Angel and Mark wanted to come along."
Collins thought about it for a second, "well, we do have a Life Support meeting today but I guess we can miss this one. Yeah, we'll be there."
"Cool. We'll be there around one. Oh, and Collins?"
"Huh?"
"Thanks for not screaming."
"Was that why Mimi was screaming? The anarchist chuckled, "Well, I aim to please Mrs. Jefferson-Johnson."
"Alright, bye Collins."
"Peace out!"
Her business finished, Joanne walked back into the kitchen to get a fresh cup of tea. Maureen sat at the table abstractedly pulling on one of her curls while reading the Village Voice. She looked up when she saw Joanne come back into the room.
"So everyone is game I presume?"
"Mmhmm, I told them we should be there around one so you should start getting ready Honeybear."
"Wait, so we are really going to the beach?" Maureen asked.
Joanne slowly nodded, "Did you not just hear me say everyone was going?"
Maureen jumped up and kissed Joanne full on the lips. The diva was elated to say the least.
"Well, that was pleasant."
"It was..." Maureen said nodding in agreement.
Joanne couldn't help but giggle, "We are such horndogs!!"
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At one o'clock on the dot Joanne arrived at the loft in her very out of place Mercedes Benz truck. Maureen leaned over into the driver's seat and honked the horn.
"Hey you bohemians, get you're lazy butts down here!" Mark poked his head out of the window and yelled back at Maureen.
"Collins is getting his weed; hold your horses, jeeze!" Joanne's attitude quickly went from fab to drab as the news arrived that she would have to wait. If anything bothered her it was being late and everyone knew it. She tried to resist the impulse to tap her foot impatiently but it didn't work and soon her sneakers wore a hole through the carpet from tapping so hard. After waiting for what seemed to be an eternity, all seven of the bohemians were crammed into the trucked and on their way to the beach. Joanne put in an Earth, Wind, and Fire cassette and the party quickly began.
"Hey Angel," Mimi said, looking at her best friend, "why aren't you in drag today?"
"See chica, that's where having a man's body can come in handy. While you ladies have to wear a bikini top and get gross tan lines, I can choose to be topless!" Angel said smiling.
"Well aren't you lucky," Mimi said frowning, "I wish I could go topless."
"You know Mimi, I wouldn't mind if you went topless," Roger said to her raising his eyebrows, yearning that she might agree with him.
Mark snorted from his seat while filming all of this.
"Care to share your joke with the class Mr. Cohen?"
"I just find your aspirations for you girlfriend, well, interesting."
"Shut up queer." All eyes turned to Roger. In a truck where he was involved in the only straight relationship, his comment could be taken quite offensively.
"What? I meant strange!!!"
Mark zoomed in on Roger with his ancient camera, "Zoom in on Roger, whose girlfriend's taut lips and surly expression show that he will not be getting any tonight!"
Maureen perked up at the sound of another couple arguing other than her and Joanne and looked back to see what was going on.
"Oh, my gosh Marky! I had a premeditation that something like this would happen! I'm a psychic!"
Collins, being the professor he was, felt the need to correct Maureen. "Mo, I think you mean premonition. Premeditation is a verb referring to a thought before an action." Everyone looked at Collins, "What? I'm a professor at NYU, shoot me! And on that note, Maureen, I also think you mean that you're a psycho, not a psychic." All of the bohemians in the truck—besides Maureen of course—broke into laughter.
"Joanne! I can't believe you're laughing too! I thought you loved me!"
Joanne rolled her eyes, "You know I love you Honeybear. But Collins got you there, you have to admit that."
"Eh, whatever. Angel you better tell your man to watch himself; I won't be able to help it if I 'accidentally' hold his head under the water too long."
Angel kissed Collins on the lips causing him to grin like a mad man. "Don't worry Collins, I'll cover you. I won't let Maureen get you," she vowed. Mark, being afraid for Collins tried to talk some sense into him as he videotaped the entire scenario.
"Oh Thomas, if I where you, I'd be a bit apprehensive. She can become a tad violent at times."
In response Collins proclaimed, "I ain't scared boy!"
"My gosh, there is way too much testosterone in this truck," Mimi conjectured.
"Well," Joanne stated triumphantly, "we females shall have to endure this no longer. We're finally here!"
After the hour and a half of the labyrinth that was the NYC freeway, the bohemians were at the beach at last.
Mimi, Angel, and Maureen ran onto the beach in slow motion as Mark recorded them.
"June 7th, 1990; 4pm eastern standard time: the bohemians are at the beach. Joanne has finally gratified Maureen's need for fun."
"Oh Mark, shut up. I please Maureen plenty. Just because you don't get to watch us make sweet, sweet—"
Roger interjected, "I'm sorry Joanne, did Mark implicate that we wanted to hear about your lesbian rendezvous? Because believe me, we really don't want to hear about them." Joanne squinted evilly at Roger.
"You should run man…" Collins warned foreboding an attack by Joanne. Slowly Roger ebbed away from Joanne before breaking out into a full on sprint away from the lawyer. Naturally Joanne chased after him. Collins and Mark walked to where the girls had a beach towel set up and each took a beer out of the cooler. Collins lay back on Angel's chest and began smoking his joint.
"Collin's sweetie, why do you smoke?"
"If you'd asked me that question 3 years ago, you would have had me duped. But I think it's because I know I'm gonna die one of these day. I'd like to be able to think that I didn't let AIDS turn me into some boring old guy who sat around doing nothing. At least now I can say my last days on earth were exciting."
Angel smiled and stroked his lover's head, "You are such a bright man…now pass the joint. I love you babe, did you know that?"
"Yeah well, I love you too Angel…No day but today."
After about and hour the sun started to set and the bohemians slowly migrated towards their towels once again. They all sat around pow-wow style reflecting on the day's activities.
"Today was fun guys," Roger declared, "We should do it again."
"Yeah…but I don't appreciate being called names Roger," Mark expressed mock seriously.
Roger looked reproachfully at all of the bohemians. "I'm sorry guys, I regret that. I really do…" They all forgave him as good friends do but Mimi still had other plans.
"Yeah I'll forgive you but you're still not getting any tonight."
"What? Why?!" Roger asked flabbergasted.
"I am! How 'bout you Mo?"
"Me too Collins!" Collins and Maureen laughed at Roger's fate and high-fived each other.
"I'm not…" Mark said sullenly.
As they sat on the beach watching the sun set Angel spoke aloud what they were all thinking.
"This is the life…No regrets for me today!" Mimi finished off Angel's thought.
"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss."
All the bohemians grinned as they proclaimed their motto together: "Viva, la vie Boheme!!"
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too
To me, to me, to me!
To you, and you, and you, you, and YOU!
To people living with, living with, living with,
Not dying from disease!
Let he among us without sin be the first to condemn,
La Vie Boheme!!
THE END