A/N - Hey you guys! I haven't written in a while and it's been absolutely killing me..but..I haven't really had any ideas. About this story..it's kind of..confusing? I mean, you're probably not going to understand..why this happened..but..it's kind of written just to make you wonder, ya know? Well anywho..hope you like it!
Need to know - Everything in bold is what he is feeling...everything EXCEPT the last verse..which is what she is feeling. You'll understand once you read.
Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star or the song "Through glass" It is by: Stone Sour
Through The Glass
She walked down the long, straight corridor accompanied by a tall thick man in uniform and a few other people, every one of them wearing a frown. She didn't know how to feel. She'd never been to a place like this before..and never thought she'd ever have to.
So much had changed in the last year, especially her. She was forced to grow up and learn to depend on herself and no one else. He taught her that, actually. Her heart turned to ice the moment those tail lights faded into the distance. She shut everyone out..and was never going to let someone back in. Yes, he taught her that.
Finally, at the end of the hall, the man opens the door and guides everyone into a small, white, freezing room. Theres a line of chairs and everyone takes their respective seats..except her. Her eyes are wide with horror and shock, staring..staring at the one and only thing that is able to melt her icy heart.
But he's not looking. His eyes are focused on the round, metal hoops wrapped around his wrists and attached by a chain. She could barely stand seeing him like this, but she had to talk to him..or atleast try.
Slowly she walked over to the empty seat and hesitated a moment when he looked up. His eyes were so dull and full of misery. It brought tears to her eyes and she couldn't look at his anymore.
He saw the sparkle in her eyes and gave her a weak smile and nodded his head for her to sit. So she did.
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Oh, God it feels like forever
They sat there staring at eachother for a few minutes just trying to gather their thoughts. How was he supposed to explain himself to her? He never thought he'd have to. His past was his past..he thought it was over with. And her..how was she supposed to forgive his absence? He left her in the cold. He left her to be cold. He left her with a simple goodbye to remember him by.
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
He finally picked up the black phone..which was their only possible way of hearing eachother through the sound proof glass. She took a minute to calm herself a bit before taking the phone on her side as well.
How do you feel?
That is the question
But I forget
You don't expect an easy answer
"You came." He said, simply. His voice was low and husky..almost a whisper. She looked around at the other people in the room with her. There was no privacy whatsoever.
When something like a soul
Becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect the bitter folks
"Jude." His voice brought her attention back to him. She swallowed the huge lump of fear in her throat and attempted to speak, still not looking him in the eyes. It was too hard.
"Darius told me you wanted to see me." She managed to get out.
He nodded.
Her eyes fell to the table.
"Did he tell you why I'm here?" He asked.
She shook her head.
And while your outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what your staring at is me
"Jude..why can't you look at me?" He asked, his voice straining with pain.
She looked up once again and tried to meet his eyes. This time the tears finally fell from her own.
"Why Tommy? why now? why me?" She cried, wiping the stream of liquid rolling down her cheeks and recieving sympathetic glances from a woman next to her.
His heart started to break.
Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
All I know is that it feels like forever
And no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
"You think this is how I wanted this to happen? You think I wanted to leave you?" He asked, bringing his face closer to the glass.
She sobbed into the phone and shook her head slowly.
"I couldn't tell you what was going on then. And even if I could've..I probably wouldn't have." He continued.
"I cared about you way too much for that girl, and I still do. I know I hurt you..but the truth would have hurt much worse." He said, his voice quivering.
How much is real?
So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
And if that came from the heart
It never did, right from the start
Just listen to the noises (Now I'm more, instead of voices)
"What are you saying Tommy?" She screamed into the phone, clutching on to it for dear life.
"You cared about me so much that you left me with two words that will forever burn my ears each time I hear them. Good bye." She throatily explained. She had now gained an audience.
"One year later I finally hear that you want to see me..and it's not even from you, It's from Darius. You didn't even call." She said, half crying and half laughing at her own stupidity.
"Like always, when it comes to you..Jude jumps." She says, criticizing herself.
Before You tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen
He nods.
"What part of I had to don't you understand, Jude?" He asks, anger rising in his voice.
"Tell me why, Tommy! Make me understand!" She says.
"I can't tell-"
Jude hits the glass seperating her from Tom, making him quit mid sentence.
"Don't tell me you can't. You can." She growls, barely audible.
He stares at her blankly..knowing she's right.
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Now all I know is that feels like forever
And no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
"There's things I did..while I was gone." He starts.
She listened intently, wiping the remaining tears from her cheeks.
"Things that I am not proud of."
His voice lowered and he looked around to see if anyone was listening. Luckily, everyone else had gotten back to their own conversations.
"What kind of things?" She asked, urging him to continue.
His eyes fell on hers once more and he could do nothing but stare. After he told her everything, after this burden got lifted from his chest, who knew if she was even going to talk to him again? She probably wouldn't. How could he make her understand?..how can you tell the one you love..that you're a murderer?
Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Now all I know is that it feels like forever
And no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
Murderer. The word itself..so cruel..so unforgiving..so real.
He closed his eyes, trying to relieve himself of the painful memories. She watched him struggle to find the words, and she wanted to break the glass and hold him close. To tell him everything would be okay..but she couldn't.
And she watched.
He opened his eyes once more.
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Oh, God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
"Come on Tommy..It's just me." She says, holding her free hand up to the glass. His eyes watered with regret. This was going to break her heart.
"It's not that easy, Jude." He says, choking on his own words.
Her hand slid helpessly down the glass as the seriousness of the situation started to grasp her. She was sitting inside of a prison talking to Tommy through glass.
"What did you do, Tommy?" She asked as new tears started to fall.
"I'm-" He started, allowing a single tear to fall down his cold cheek.
He knew he had to tell her. This was it.
"I'm in here for..murder."
She sat there staring, mouth a-gape. The room was spinning and the phone was slipping from her hands, but she didn't have the strength to hold on anymore. Before it fell..the words "I'm so sorry, girl." could faintly be heard. She closed her eyes to everything. To him, to her emotions, to her heart that was screaming his name constantly, to her love for him. She wanted to be blind from it all.
Only a few moments later a huge buzzing sound brought her watery eyes back open and she watched the guard pulling Tommy, who was fighting to stay, out of the room. Time was up.
Her heart sank when she saw him mouth "I love you" over and over again before disappearing behind a wall.
"I love you too, Tommy." She said to herself.
"I love you too."
Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head..
A/N - OH! I took a few of the verses out..for those of you who know the song..you know the main "But it's the stars..etc." yeah..took them out to fit with the story better..I told you..weird..heh. Don't ask how I came up with it..cause I don't even know...but the question is..do you like it:) hopefully you do..please review?