Attack of the Mary Sues
A/N: OK, yeah, I felt a bit weird…maybe I drank too much tea. But this is the story of what happens what a perfectly respectable fanfic writer (moi) loses their mind and begins to put in many self-inserts, OOC sequences, and Mary Sues. Enjoy!
Chapter One: "But everyone calls me Lana!"
Elizabeth Swann ran down the deck cursing to herself, and suddenly (GASP) she stopped. "I feel sullied and unusual," she said. "What the hell?" She scratched her head. "That's Jack's line!" Staring up into the bright blue sky, or as we know it, the computer screen, she shouted: "Hey, fix the stupid story, willya?"
At a computer in an undisclosed location:
"Too many tests!!!!! Losing mind!" I tore the proof worksheet in half and turned to my laptop. My brain felt out of wack as I turned to my latest chapter of POTC: AWE. "Must Mary Sue, must insert self, muhahahahaahahaha!!!!!!"
Back in the story:
Jack Sparrow was drunk. Very drunk, very very very very drunk…but still hot. Suddenly, a girl appeared in front of him. She was pretty, very very very very pretty. He stood up, his head suddenly cleared with thoughts of love.
"Marry me!" he shouted, falling to his knees.
The girl's face turned into a mask of surprised innocence. "But sir, first I must use my amazing swordfighting skills I just acquired and my superpower to fly to save the world! And anyway, that is improper. We must get into a long relationship where I will help you sort out your troubled past!"
The normal Jack Sparrow would push this girl out of the way and walk to Elizabeth Swann, who was cussing and drinking OOC, as she passed by the ship, but the new OOC Jack decided to follow this girl!
"I will wait for you," he gushed. "My angel, my dream, my vision…wait, I didn't even know these words." One look at this girl brought him back to his OOC self. "What is your name, I must know it, to proclaim it to the high heavens as the name of an angel!"
The girl didn't seem at all fazed. "My name is Cerulean Jade Diamond Raven Darken Moon Shine," she said brightly. "I used to live in a rich family, but then my parents were slaughtered by the East India Trading Company, and IbecameapirateafterhavingatroubledchildhoodandIlearnedamazingskillsanddiscoveredIcanfly! But everyone calls me Lana!"
A/N: Yeah, I know it's weird. Don't worry, this won't slow down After World's End, but if you guys would please review more, my brain might start working again!
See y'all later!
-Life Ravenwing