A/N: So this is one of those stories i need to write for my own sanity. I will be getting back to all my other stories just need some time but there not forgotten. This is a very special story please review. There is a youtube video i made on this song so please go check it out the link is on my profile.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters or the song Just a Dream by Carrie Underwood.

Just a Dream

Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

He had been there along her side since they met when she was only eighteen barely taking in what life actually was what her life had in store for her. She had left, of to Yale like she worked so hard for and she met him. He was all she could think about yet she made the mistake of thinking he was only a friend a best friend she wasn't ready for such a relationship not yet. She was just starting to live she couldn't find a reason to settle down before she even lived.

And know there she was standing in the church. Twenty years later ready to say the most important words any one could say to another, 'I do' it was one thing to say them but to mean them. Was a whole other story and she meant it like nothing else. For better or worse but she was going to stand by him. Erick Petrova she had laughed when they both realized that they shared the same initials.

Erick was an army Colonel even though they had met at Yale he had dropped out to join the army promising to stay in touch. He was everything a women could want he was perfect, both physically and mentally. He was tall, piercing blue eyes, a golden blonde hair and a smile so radiant it could make everyone around you drop what they were doing just to reciprocate it. And mentally he was serious and determined when it came to work, but outside of it he was fun, loving and overall caring he cared about everyone and everything he would take away every doubt Emily ever had about her own self or the world. He showed her how there were still good people in the world. He had everything to be a egotistical, selfless ass but he wasn't he had grown up with a rich father owning law firms and managing manufacturing companies, his mother had been a private school teacher and had a selfish little sister. Yet he had devoted himself to fighting for what he believed in what they both believed in.

Emily was an FBI agent that was still part of the government on the country that brought them both up and now both were ready.

As Emily walked into the church she couldn't help but smile at her friends who had taken the first rows on her side of the church. She remembered how JJ and Garcia had gone with her to buy a beautiful blue pin that went with her dress, something blue. And then how could she forget Hotch, he had lend her his grandmothers gold locket, the last memory he had of her and he was letting her borrow it for her wedding. Emily had decided to ignore the other two; something old, and something new.

Erick was being deployed to Afghanistan in only two weeks and she knew that in only two weeks she would go back to catching serial killers, bombers and so on. But in the meanwhile they both would enjoy every second of their lives together and once he came home she would too and nothing would ever separate them.

Rossi being the father figure he was to her led the way to were Eric was standing waiting for her. Waiting so that they could finally live their lives together.

Emily felt the tears run down her face and onto the letter, the letter she cursed so damn much. A letter that she would never forget. The officer who handed it to her just simply gave his respect and turned back to go to his car.

Emily had been getting ready to go to the office. JJ had called telling her they had a case and to hurry, she had been running a bit late though that was the only reason she was still home when the door bell rang and she saw him.

An elder man dressed in his uniform and his pins proudly displayed on his suit, white hair and wrinkles from all the stress the job must cause. All he had to say was, "I'm terribly sorry for your… our loss." And handed her the note. He had said more but all she could hear was her sobs braking out of her chest and the tearing of her heart. She could swear she felt her chest tighten up and she couldn't breathe it was all too much.

It seemed like days, months that she was on the door frame of the house her and Erick had bought, a simple very typical American home she had always dreamed of one and he had always loved the simplicity in things, but it had only really been about an hour. That was when they arrived.

The team had all been waiting around for her to arrive they had a serial killer in Arizona and needed to arrive there as soon as possible or at the very least send team B in for them. Normally Hotch would have had the team leave without her, they had left Reid once before and even Rossi. Yet Hotch couldn't bear to leave her. Erick had trusted him enough to ask him to care for Emily while he was gone and as much as it pained Hotch to see the women he had fallen in love with, with another man he was happy to follow through, for his sanity and because Erick Petrova made Emily a very happy women much more than he ever could.

That's why when the team, especially Hotch saw their crumpled agent on the hard wooden floor of her porch of her home; they all felt something break inside them.

As soon as Hotch recovered enough from the initial shock of seeing Emily Prentiss on the ground crying and sobbing looking so vulnerable, he began barking orders. "JJ, call B team now! Tell them that we can't go and to take our case. "

JJ snapped out of her own mind as Hotch's orders rang in her head all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around her best friend and let her cry into her shoulder be a pillar of strength like Emily had been countless times for her.

Hotch quickly looked at the other men that were all ready approaching the brunette that hadn't even noticed them. Morgan had a lost with no direction look that normally would be on the young genius's face but not at that moment. At that moment they all seemed to be wearing it all the same except only Morgan had given up in trying to mask it. Reid had a sort of pained look if someone at all would take seeing Emily that hurt as bad as Hotch it would be Reid, Emily was a mother figure he never wanted to see her hurt, none of them did. Rossi looked shocked still as if the ground had just split in half and he was walking on air. He had no idea where or what to do. None of them did. Hotch quickly cleared his throat to get a hold the other men's movements as he went forward he knew it would be best if only one of them reached out to her at that moment.

He kneeled down and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. Her head snapped up to see him. He looked lost, hurt, pained countless emotions were running through his usual stoic face. And at that moment all she could think about was how much that face reminded her of Erick. She wrapped her arms around her un-expecting supervisor almost causing him to stubble back if it weren't because he reached out for the door frame for support he would be on the ground. Hotch was motionless he had given her a pad on the back and even a weird looking hug on her wedding day but never a full on hug. He felt out of place yet his instincts told him otherwise and he too wrapped his arms around her shaking body.

Eventually the team all moved closer, all trying to regain their own compositions. Just watching as their supervisor tried to sooththe sobbing brunette they had all grown to love. Emily's sobs finally came to small whimpers and soon hiccups until they came to a complete stop along side with her tears.

Hotch took this as an opportunity to ask her what was wrong and said, "Emily… Em… come on Emily… what's wrong? Emily please…. Answer me please…" Hotch begged as she acted like he had never spoken.

A few minutes after she abruptly pulled away. Leaving Hotch and the team all dumbfounded not understanding what had just happened. And when they saw her… her eyes they saw it. She was all ready putting on her façade ready to face the world with it. Yet it was off, it was slowly slipping off once again.

"Em? Are you all right?" JJ asked knowing full on that it was a stupid question obviously she wasn't all right.

"He… he…" Emily began but never finished her husky voice was weak and filled with pain she still couldn't hide so all she did was extend her arm with the letter in hand for one of them to grab.

Hotch was the first to react and take hold of the letter but as he tried to pull it away Emily would hold her grasp on to it as if the moment she let go everything around her would once again burn down. Hotch noticed and stopped tugging at the letter but never relinquished his hold on it simply let her do it on her own. The team all stared at them for a moment as neither let go yet neither tugged on it.

Morgan was about to snap at Hotch for causing Emily more distress when Emily let her hand slip down her side and she turned as if to let her tears fall freely without judgment not that anyone would have judged.

Hotch pulled the letter slowly to his view as if waiting for her to snap it out of his grasps. But she never did on the contrary she had her back turned. Hotch finally grabbed it firmer and began reading it;

'Department of the Army

Washington DC

Dear Mrs. Emily Prentiss Petrova

The department of the Army deeply regrets to inform you that your husband, Erick James Petrova, Colonel of the US Army was killed in the line of duty and in the service of his country.

The department extends to you its sincere sympathy in your time of grief. "

Hotch felt his world shake under him they all knew the risks he took the risks Emily took but this just made it all more real. He was lost for words so simply passed the letter to Rossi who to would feel every crash in him.

Everyone had been more than supportive they had helped plan everything that was not all ready being planned for the funeral. For the past week Emily had only been able to sleep for a few minutes as all she could remember was his brilliant smile and it was the best dream ever to see him, touch him, feel him, yet it was just that just a dream.

Hotch had been her greatest life support he had helped her through so much. He had himself been through it he lost Hailey and even though they were separated at the time he loved her like he would never love again and he would forever miss her. But Hotch was there for Emily like she had been there for him.

It was finally the day, the day a part of her died the day that her world would forever change and not for best like it had last time she had been in that church. She had stopped attending church for years and Erick had helped her see that light once again and she had began to attend just to ask that he remain safe. Yet it seemed her praying had gotten her nowhere. She knew those were the moments that made someone doubt faith and believes but not that day she was a shell that day.

She was dressed in a beautiful black knee length dress with black nylon stockings and her black hair down, Garcia had curled it she had no energy to fight her on it, so it was wavy. Her black eyeliner was much darker than normal and she used black mascara. That just made her look paler in complexion.

As she entered the church this time she wasn't led in by Rossi but by Hotch and she wasn't bright and happy but dark and sad. The guests weren't smiling and crying tears of joy but looking lost and crying tears of pain.

She took a seat on the front porch and soon began the sermon but she drifted off as she saw his mother in tears, his younger sister crying and shaking her head violently against her father's arms. Then she saw some of his closest friends and fellow officers, sitting up front next to his family trying to keep the composure they had. And behind the intimate family, her, his parents, sister, closest friends, and Hotch, was the rest of the officers that were friends, and workers, and the team.

As they walked to the last place he would be put to rest Emily felt her feet stop and she didn't know how she was still moving until she realized Hotch was helping but soon he was gone and the gates opened to the cemetery. And in walked six officers and Hotch and Rossi carrying the casket that held the man she loved so much. She felt herself drift off and blend into the crowed as if she didn't matter or belong there.

Soon the preacher man asked all of them to bow their heads and pray. "Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt." And soon the congregation all stood up and sang. As she heard the song she could feel her heart break as if the lyrics burned her heart with acid, the sadness the pain in the lyrics killed her even more.

She soon saw the seven gun men form and aim their guns to the sky, she had been told that Erick would receive a full 21 gun salute. If it was supposed to make the pain in her heart ease it didn't work it just seemed that every shot was going to tear her apart. It was a great honor and she knew it but it still didn't bring him back which was all she really wanted.

She felt a tear roll down her check, and the first gun shot rang in the sky, first shot.

She heard her mother in law fall to the ground in sobs for her baby boy and her own sobs broke loose, first set of seven.

Emily was in Hotch's arms crying as she wished so desperately that one of those shots had hit her because it seemed that they had all ready had hit her, in her heart the pain was there, last set of seven.

As the last shots rang she could feel everything in her break. He was really never going to come back. Last six shots.

And as she was on the floor crying and sobbing she saw as they began to lower the casket down. As someone began folding the flag, every fold holding its meaning. Yet she was focused as the remains of her husband were brought down to the ground to be turned into nothing in the course of the years.

Then one of the officers walked over to her and kneeled down and handed her a folded up flag. The last thing she would have of him. She held on to it as tight as possible as if it was him and he was there with her. She heard the officer's words the words he had probably said at other funerals yet she didn't want to hear it, it would make it real, too real.

"On behalf of the President of the United States and the people of a grateful nation, may I present this flag as a token of appreciation for the honorable and faithful service your loved one rendered this nation"

Emily bit back as sob as she held on tighter to the flag much tighter. It was the last thing that she had of him.

She missed him all ready there would be not one moment were she wouldn't miss him. She had counted on a life time with him. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Oh why had left? Why?

Oh how she wished that she would wake up screaming and it would have all been a dream, nightmare, just a dream that all those beautiful dreams she had were reality and that, the funeral and everything else was the dream. Just a dream.

She turned to see the grave stone one more time, 'Erick James Petrova August 17, 1971 – July 10, 2011 a beloved son, brother, husband and soon to be father.'

"It's like I'm looking? From a distance, standing? In the background
Everybody's saying? He's not coming? Home now
This can't be happening? To me, this is just a dream"

Dedicated to: To all those brave men and women fighting out there, please come home safe for your families, for your friends, sisters, brothers, daughters, and sons and your significant others and any one else.

A/N: So like i said this is an important story for me so please no flames. I was thinking a squeal but I'm not sure so let me know. So please review let me know what you thought.

THUNDER BRAT