Disclaimer- For. The. Last. Time. This. Is. Not. Mine. Now. Lay. Off! – the songs aren't mine either.
A/N- As I was writing the first draft of The Hills have Eyes I wondered; what happens when Bella has her, you know what, each month?
So, I decided to write this story, bon appetite!
(This is after the Cullens return in NM)
I was enjoying the "wonderful blessings" of womanhood; bloating, cramps, mood swings, and a non-stop craving for Ben and Jerry's and a steak. From my expertise in this area of symptoms I knew my period would start tomorrow.
I wasn't sure if Edward remembered our protocol from last year; that he and his family would basically go for a "camping trip" for a week. Tomorrow would be a Monday, so it would be better if they left sometime that night.
Charlie was gone on the few occasions of my house arrest, and surprisingly left me home with Edward, but Alice was our chaperone.
After, somehow, getting Alice into my bedroom, she paused, seeing what I wanted to ask of her.
"Don't worry, Bella, everything will be taken care of." Thank god I didn't have to tell Edward that, that's another icky situation Alice saved me from.
"Thank you so much! I really owe you one." I tried to say but was muffled as I hugged her.
"But, I'm going to stay behind; Edward would have a cow if we left you alone."
"Are you sure you can handle it?"
"Don't worry; I'll hunt before they leave. And besides, I'll be another excuse for me to sleep over!"
"No, I mean, when was the last time you were with an average human during her period?"
"Umm, well there's always a first." She started shaky and then grew with more confidence.
"Ok, but you may regret this later." That's when Edward came in from the kitchen with my lunch. He paused as soon as my message was sent through Alice.
"Absolutely not! I can't, I won't leave her!" he said in outrage.
"Edward, I don't want you or your family uncomfortable because of my… problem."
"Bella, I went without you for eight months, there's no way I'm going an entire week without you." He put my sandwich on my desk in a flash and next he grabbed my hands.
"Edward, the blood won't only be the problem; I get… weird. I really don't want you to see me in that state." Edward turned to Alice; she held a blank face. Then both of them broke into laughter. What did they see me do from my overactive hormones?
"Bella, I didn't know you could dance like that!" Alice said after they both stopped giggling.
"What did I do?"
"You'll find out soon enough. Edward is going to stay, nothing bad will happen, except a few embarrassing moments." Alice tried to give me a reassuring look, but it didn't work because she was still trying to stifle her giggles.
Edward had to finally dazzle me to make me relax.
"Fine, but you guys must never, never tell anyone else what you witness this week."
"Fine." They both swore.
"Ok, well I have to go to the store to get some stuff. Alice, will you come with me?"
"Of course-"
"May I ask why I'm not invited?" Edward cut off Alice.
"Well, girls only; besides it'll give you a chance to hunt." I said as I grabbed my lunch and walked out the door.
A/N- ok now the fun can begin! Poor Bella… he he he.