Author's Notes: I blame my community for this. Completely. And utterly. This. Is not. My. Fault.
Title: Once upon a time in Baticul...
Summary: ToA characters cast in Aladdin. WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?
Warnings: Crack. Lots. And lots. Of crack.
Pairings: None.
Disclaimer: I... no. Don't own. God be praised for that. Strange things would happen if I did.
- Start -
Once there was a nice, but very silly boy. He was friendly and cheerful, but always afraid of girls for some strange reason. I think he's gay. Anyway, this boy was an orphan and stole from people, not because he was bad, but just because he thought it was great fun. He would do this all day and make the people very mad, he made them so mad that they sent nasty guards after him! The guards were his worst enemy, because the person who led them was a very fierce woman! She was also very nice though, and often pets me on the head when nobody else is looking!
Uhm… anyway, where was I?
So this fierce guardswoman often chased our handsome hero lots because he stole and made people mad, but he always outran her because he's very fast. Then one day while he was out stealing again, he happened to spot a very strange boy. This boy had red hair and was very stupid. He did silly things like take stuff too, but only because he didn't know he had to pay for them. Just as the guardswoman started yelling at him too, the orphan boy gave her a kitty and took off with the red haired boy while she was distracted.
When they got away, the orphan and the stupid boy hid and talked while they waited for it to be safe again. The stupid boy turned out to be very angry, and difficult to get along with. He complained about lots of things, like the heat, his shoes and how dirty it was. At first all the orphan boy wanted to do was beat him senseless, but he was a good person so he didn't. As they got to know each other, the red haired boy learned that the orphan wasn't as poor and stupid as he thought, and the orphan learned that the red haired boy was every bit as arrogant and stupid as he'd thought, but that he was also nice deep down inside. Eventually they had to separate and after going their separate ways, promised to meet again to get some nice, paid for apples.
That night the orphan boy was suddenly kidnapped by an evil, greedy girl who threatened to hug the orphan and give him pigtails if she didn't get him a magic lamp! She cackled and waved a staff menacingly, scaring the poor orphan into fetching the magic lamp in a deep and dark cave filled with monsters. Using all his cunning and speed and tricks learned from years of dodging guards, the orphan made it past all the obstacles and stole the lamp from its guardians and raced back with it, hoping the crazy girl would leave him alone.
As he ran on the way out, he accidentally tripped on the foot of a small creature. The tiny thing gave a wail of "Mieu!" as the orphan went flying into a wall and knocked loose a piece of rubble, which fell towards the small creature. Seeing what he'd done, the orphan used his incredible speed to save the small creature. Safe and sound, the cheagle proclaimed the orphan boy a hero and swore to serve him.
Also, in saving the cheagle, the orphan boy had accidentally rubbed the lamp, and now a great cloud of spoke poured forth from the lamp, releasing a great and powerful force. Its red eyes scared the orphan boy at first, and his cackling laugh and sparkling glasses were also very frightening. As the smoke began to clear, the orphan sat there on the ground, shaking in terror as the genie revealed itself before him.
"I am a genie." It began in its terrible voice. "I will grant you three wishes, and only three. So wish carefully." He told the orphan boy with a cackle. The orphan, being smarter than that, decided not to wish at all. Instead he said "no thank you" and told the genie to go back into his lamp, which the genie wouldn't do of course. So instead the orphan said they could walk back together, and the genie said okay.
Now accompanied by his cheagle and the genie, they walked back the entrance, no longer having to run from the monsters since the genie could zap them away with powerful spells. When they reached the entrance, the orphan handed the lamp over to the greedy girl who zipped away with it cackling, pigtails trailing behind her as talk of riches echoed from her mouth. Sighing, the genie said he had to follow his lamp and left as well.
The next day the orphan met with the stupid boy again and they ate paid for apples in the sun like they'd promised. The stupid boy got mad at the cheagle lots and kicked him, but it was still a pretty nice day. Then the guardswoman showed up! She seized both the orphan and the boy by their arms and dragged them to the castle. The orphan was amazed at the palace, he'd never seen such incredible sights! They were brought into a huge room where a woman sat on the chair. It was the queen of the city who revealed to the orphan that the stupid boy was actually a noble prince from far away! She wanted the boy to marry her but he'd refused and avoided her at all costs!
She then ordered the boy to marry her or she would force him to. The orphan stood there, not sure what to do, when the greedy girl walked in with the lamp, the genie walking in behind her. Quickly seeing a chance, the orphan ran forward and seized the lamp from the girl's hands, even going so far as brushing her fingers. Conquering his fear in the face of danger! He then wished himself, the boy, the cheagle and the genie far, far away from the city.
The genie smiled his evil little smile, and snapped his fingers, landing them in a lake. When they pulled themselves, wet and very unhappy, from the water, the genie asked what wish he would like granted next and the orphan realized that they could never go back, wished that they would be transported to the boy's family, and that the genie would find a master who would control him and keep him in line.
The genie, realizing he had been foiled, frowned sourly and returned them to the boy's family, who were not quite as stupid as him and the genie went and found an Emperor who to this day controls him quite well.
The prince took the orphan on as a servant, saying he was a good friend, even though the cheagle continued to annoy him. The prince's parents never let him out of the house again, afraid he'd get himself into more trouble, but every once in a while the orphan-now-servant would summon his faithful cheagle and he and the prince would fly over the walls of the manor to see the sights of the city.
The End.
"Okay, who taught Florian to write?" Luke demanded irritably, gripping the sheets of paper with a clumsy scrawl on them in irritation.
"Aw, don't be like that Luke. At least he wrote about us." Guy tried feebly, laughing in a sheepish manner as he was aware of just how much pure rage there was in the room. "I mean, he was probably just trying to make the story more interesting. What's it called? Aldin?"
"I believe it's called "Aladdin."" Jade corrected, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, his left eyebrow twitching an ever so miniscule amount as he smiled. A very forced smile.
"I must say, I would not be like that at all! I would never force anyone to marry me!" Natalia snapped haughtily, crossing her arms as Anise pouted, clearly upset with her role in the story as well.
"Yeah right." The redhead retorted sharply, but for all that… Luke paused and turned on Tear who was standing by the wall, not meeting anyone's eyes.
"… you liked your part, didn't you?" The redhead accused. The brunette reddened slightly.
"I did too!" Mieu peeped.
"Shut up thing." Luke snapped with a punt.
"Mieeeeu….."
And little did they know, Florian was currently in the Daath library, reading about a fascinating story called "Cinderella."