Note; I do not own Torchwood, nor do I own its characters. ;)
Can it be? Is this…is this actually a Fanfic? Have I actually updated? xD
I was gutted, to be honest, that Torchwood didn't come back this year, so I thought I'd write a one-shot to try and ease myself back into the mood for Fanfics xD
Inspired by the ending of the second part of Doctor Who's Christmas special of 2009. =)
I hope you enjoy this Fanfic – I'm sorry if it's bad xD
The title is taken from the beautiful song 'Always Attract' by You Me At Six.
~ Dragon
Loosing Sense of Time
Can Time really pass so quickly? Is it such an insignificant thing that it can pass by in a whisper, all the while holding ones fate in its grip?
I once remembered when Time mattered to me – when it held me so tightly I could barely breathe. Now that I can breathe freely, however, I'm not even sure that I want to. To have freedom is one thing, but to be free without ones friends is an entirely different matter. Of course, there are those who enjoy their solitude. Why, some that I've met have never even questioned the matter of friendship. To them, their life is their own, and is not to be shared with any others.
How I wish I could be like those carefree people, without my conscience whispering, taunting, cruelly reminding me of those I have known, and those that I have had to loose inevitably. I have shared myself with those people, and through sharing one divides their very being. I am but a tattered rag of my former glory. Severed ties litter the ground about my soul, bonds with others broken cruelly by Time's immanent passing, leaving me breathless, yet unable to perish to forage for my lost bonds.
The most callous thing of all is that I can never get them back. One person, to a man of my years, is merely a dab of paint across an endless canvas, and yet, one person can change an entire picture. I have shared my heart with so many, but, across the many galaxies I have explored, there has been but one man that has truly changed the picture. To call it a mistake would be to say a swallow cannot take flight; it is, even now, one of the most beautiful – and yet utterly heart wrenching – pictures I have ever seen.
And perhaps it is because of him that I am returning to Earth. That one, small paintbrush stroke across the entirety of my lifetime, whom I loved, and, because of my love, he was taken too soon from me by Time's pitiless nature. How it aches my heart to think of him even after these slow-passing years in space.
Ianto Jones. To me, the name is the steady beat of a ticking stopwatch. To Time, he was merely another name on the list, soon left forgotten as others passed away.
It is odd that I think of that stopwatch now, as I stand, palm raised above my watch, ready to transport myself back to the hill on which I left Earth. I do not have it in my possession – it was always his, really. I could not take it, and nor shall I ever take it. It is but a distant memory to me now, a bittersweet tang to memories that hurt to think of.
One last look around the spaceship tells me it's my time to go. There was nothing here for me, if I really tell myself. I drank myself silly, and had some fun, but nothing ever really changed. The pain is still as raw as if it was inflicted but yesterday, and the memories still flare each time the drink has been drained from my system.
With a tap of my watch, I leave the ship, the cool smoothness of metal replaced by the ridged earth of the rolling Welsh hills, all the while thinking of the life I have lived, and the people that I have shared it with.
And, as I make my way down the hill, I think solemnly to myself that, although Time has been cruel to me, it never really betrayed me. After all, it was I who lost track of its eternal being. It had just been doing what it had been made to do – and that is, perhaps, the worst aspect of all.
"Welcome back, Jack…" I think to myself, before falling to my knees. And, in these moments, I can swear that I feel Time behind me, quietly musing over my being, awaiting the moment where I shall walk from this hill, back to the life I have left behind, and to where it can, though it may take years, ultimately return to taking my friends from me once more, just as it had with Ianto all those years ago.