THE 5 STAGES
**Please pardon the random appearance of multiple, and I seriously mean multiple alliterations throughout this chapter. It most definitely wasn't done on purpose; I have no idea why my mind is thinking in that way whatsoever. **
WARNING: Hermione might possess a wee-bit of a sailor's mouth, but that's mostly the alcohol talking. (mostly)
"The five stages after the end of a relationship that will lead you to a better and happier you - each with its pros and cons, its trials and tribulations - The most important being the acknowledgement of the tragic end of said relationship which most likely, if not, brought pain and sorrow to both participants…Which brings us to the first stage …"
Hermione scoffed as she tossed the rubbish that was trying to pass itself off as a self-help book into the rubbish bin next to her. She for one definitely didn't need any of this explained to her, or at least that's what she thought, she didn't need this-this trash. Finishing off the last of her elf wine straight from the bottle, she smiled drunkenly, overcome by a fit of giggles as she semi-analyzed the situation she found herself in: sitting at her kitchen counter drinking a bottle of wine, no glass needed (on a Friday night no less) in old sweats with no company other than that of her pet goldfish, Charles. Unfortunately, her sorrows couldn't be drowned in wine; they'd learned to swim a long time ago.
At this rate she was going to become an alcoholic with all the elf wine she'd been ingesting the last few months. If someone were to see the numerous empty bottles under her sink they would think she already was.
Sighing bitterly Hermione looked over at her faithful companion and asked quizzically, "Charles, how is it possible that at 28 years old I have managed to acquire a high position in the Department of Law Enforcement, a decent flat, and your most gracious acquaintance, YET at the same time manage to fuck up every single romantic relationship I have ever had?"
She tried to focus her clouded vision on her handsome black goldfish by squinting as she awaited a response to her loaded question.
Who knows, maybe Charles has all the answers to her questions but seeing as he is nothing but a common goldfish he couldn't exactly voice them to his owner quite as clearly as she would have liked him to, because as of right now all she was getting back was a blank stare and air bubbles as he swam around in his big bowl. That seemed like a clear enough response to Hermione's question; then again she wasn't exactly in her "sober frame of mind."
Hermione nodded in mock-seriousness, swaying slightly in her seat. "Alright then Charles I'll give you credit where credit is due. I'm dull- a-a-a plain Jane with-with nothing to offer. No surprises there, no sir! Those are just two of the obvious reasons I've managed to fuck things up every- every time. You know you're pretty smart for a goldfish Charles, pretty smart indeed."
Her speech was beginning to slur, the alcohol now fully taking effect over her motor and speech skills. Not caring what time it was, Hermione decided sleep was what she needed most. She made her way slowly to her bedroom, stumbling here and there until she made it to her bed. Once on her fluffy crimson covers she grabbed the spare pillow and hugged it close to her chest like a child would a teddy bear.
Turning off the lights in her flat with a flick of her wrist, she called out lovingly.
"Goodnight Charles thanks for hearing me out. I owe you one buddy."
BLOP…GLUG…BLOP…BLUG…BLOP…BLOP.
"Hermione! Hermione, where are you?… Please tell me you're at least getting ready!"
Hermione groaned as the voice calling out to her got louder as the person got closer to her bedroom door. She was definitely not in the mood to deal with another living soul at the moment, hell she could barely deal with herself and the persistent headache that was making it very hard to think.
"Hermione! What are you still doing in bed! Is-IS THAT AN EMPTY BOTTLE OF WINE?!" agitation clear in the persons voice.
Smothering her head with the pillow that she'd previously been hugging protectively, Hermione raised her hand and waved pathetically at whom she finally identify as Harry, his voice finally close and loud enough to decipher.
"Hello to you to Harry." She mumbled into the pillow, smothering her face harder into the pillow, hopefully it would swallow her up into a parallel dimension or something- kind of like Alice in Wonderland.
Alright I am most definitely hung-over, there is no denying it now. Drawing parallels to a fairytale about a child whom consumes questionable beverages and foods in a strange world is way beyond my normal thoughts. Best I get up now, unless I want Harry to drag me out and continue to look like someone has committed a crime or something…
Groaning she removed the drool coated pillow from her face and looked over at Harry, an expression of complete shock evident on his face.
"Are-Are you hung-over?" He cried incredulously.
Raising an eyebrow at one of her closest friends she chuckled hoarsely.
"Are you going to faint if I say yes?" Hermione said sarcastically. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, wiping her messy curls away from her face along with any remaining drool. She couldn't care less if Harry saw her like this.
Truthfully, she'd probably looked about ten times worse when they spent a year in a small tent on the run trying to keep the wizarding world from falling into the hands of a prejudice madman.
Shaking her head at her derailing thoughts she turned her attention back to her best friend - who still looked dumbfounded.
She chuckled at his expression; the hammering in her head got stronger.
"Uh-uh no. Why would I?" Harry replied with a failed attempt at nonchalance.
"Because you look like you're about to, did you forget that I'm an adult, just like you actually? Who can make adult decisions, like the decision to drinking profusely?"
She shrugged slightly as she turned away from Harry and made her way into her bathroom. Once she closed the door, she quickly stripped and entered her shower, the warm water cascading down over her body, working the kinks out of her neck and shoulders and easing her headache.
Hopefully there was still some hangover potion along with a Pepper Up Potion left in her kitchen cabinet from a few weeks ago.
Once completely showered she shut off the water and dried quickly, changing into some jeans and a maroon sweatshirt she found in her closet. Wrapping her wet hair in a towel, she returned to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She washed her toothbrush and looked at her reflection into the mirror.
Hermione looked not only paler than usual but there were also dark bags under her eyes along with her cracked and dry lips.
Smirking at her grimacing reflection, she winked and said patronizingly, "Looking good you, just as always I suppose huh?."
The reflection raised its thin eyebrows at her; it crossed its arms over its chest. "You're sense of humor sucks, I hope you know that."
Hermione shrugged, she wasn't about to get into a debate with her reflection, it was too early for that. Why'd she even let Ginny convince her into buying the charmed mirror a few months ago, at an antique store of all places, was beyond her? All she did was argue with it, it pissed her off immensely. Hermione promised herself to toss it out as soon as possible.
She had enough "self-issues" to deal with; she didn't need her reflection doubling them.
Making her way into her bedroom, she became aware of the fact that Harry was no longer there.
Guess he's made himself comfortable in the living room then, she reasoned.
"Harry?" She called out.
"In the kitchen!" he hollered back.
She walked barefoot towards the kitchen, finding Harry making both of them tea along with, 'lo and behold, a Pepper Up Potion and a Hangover Potion.
"Have I ever told you how much I love you Harry." Hermione quipped lightly, reaching for both potions. She swallowed them quickly one after the after trying to only have to suffer through one bad after taste rather than two separate ones.
He chuckled at his best friend, her facial expression one of disgust, no doubt due to the potions, those things tended to taste worse than dirt.
"You may have mentioned it once or twice before, now that I think about it." He bantered.
Harry passed her a cup of tea which she graciously accepted; Hermione wrapped both her hands around the warm mug. He stared point blank at her as she simply blew softly over her hot tea.
He knew she was avoiding his stare and, well, there honestly wasn't a surprise as to why. It wasn't everyday one was caught sleeping with a firm protective grip over a pillow and an empty bottle of wine at 10 am on a Saturday morning.
"Hermione." He said lightly, as if she were a baby deer that, if not spoken to cautiously, could be startled away.
She cautiously glanced over at him, her face flushing a bit.
"Yes, Harry?" She replied.
He finished off the rest of his tea and turned to face the girl with the towel hat standing next to him.
"Do you want to maybe talk about what I just saw a few minutes ago?" He raised his eyebrows lightly at her, worry evident in his tone of voice.
Hermione rolled her eyes and faked nonchalance.
"It-it was nothing, promise. I just decided to host myself and Charles a pity party." She pointed over at Charles who as usual appeared completely unaware of everything happening around him.
What more could there honestly be expected of a fish…
Harry tried desperately to wipe away the amused smile that was creeping onto his face. No matter how old they got Hermione still managed to retain some childlike quality if only for the amusement of herself and others. Pretending Charles was as human as either of them, was just that, an amusement.
Clearing his throat lightly, Harry crossed his arms over his chest and asked objectively, "And the reasons behind the pity party were what, exactly?"
She stared blankly at him, pretending to not know what he was referring to and simply replied in mock seriousness,
"Well I only had one bottle of wine left, what other kind of party could I have hosted for myself with just that? – oh and Charles too." She added jokingly, she returned to sipping on her warm tea.
Harry tried to take a calming breath, so far he was getting nowhere with her. He knew there was something wrong, or maybe there was more than one thing wrong, but he couldn't be sure. Hermione tended to make her problems just that: hers and hers alone; she never wanted help from anyone even if it were offered a million times. It infuriated him, how she couldn't just take his or anyone's help. She saw herself as the one that has to always help people, yet she couldn't accept any in return. What was all that about?
He closed his eyes to regain his composure, seeing as going off on a tangent wouldn't get him anywhere with her, especially with what he had to tell her in a bit. He looked at her solemn face and said, "Hermione stop answering my questions with questions." She sighed, setting down her now empty mug she reached into a cupboard for Charles' fish flakes.
Sprinkling a few bits of it into his bowl she turned her focus on watching him swim around eating them happily, one flake at a time. Not a care in the world, ah the life of a goldfish. She rested her chin on the palms of her hands as she leaned lazily on the bar.
"I'm serious Hermione." Harry said.
"Are you?" She replied distractedly.
"Hermione! We aren't children for Merlin's sake." He stomped his foot childishly, proving his statement wrong. Hermione snickered lightly at the realization, choosing not to point it out to him. That wouldn't move the conversation along and she was getting real tired of it already.
She sighed; turning away from Charles she placed her hands on his shoulders and squeezed lightly in reassurance.
"Harry, you're my best friend and I know that you worry but like I said before, I'm an adult. We both are, and seeing as we are, we can make adult like decisions, example being drinking profusely and accepting the consequences of doing so, which is the hangover you just cured with those nasty potions. I'm only going to say this once more. I am fine. And I promise you, you will never find me again asleep and snuggled up to an empty bottle of wine ever again." She giggled lightly.
At that, Harry sighed, the tension finally leaving his body. She smiled lightly as the worry ebbed away from his stare; she hated seeing like this. There was no point in burdening him with her bloody problems and screw ups. He'd had plenty to deal with years ago, she could handle it. She was handling it.
"Alright Hermione, I believe you. It's just that I worry about you. I kinda feel like you never tell me anything anymore." He pouted.
Hermione laughed lightly, shaking her head at his expression. "That's because there isn't much to tell Harry, trust me. I know that you worry, you have your hero complex to blame for that."
Harry rolled his eyes, pulling her tightly into a hug.
"Yeah, I know." He mumbled into the towel still atop her head.
Feeling warmth envelop her, Hermione tried to not let the tears forming in her eyes slip out, or else there would be no end to this conversation. She simply hugged him just as tightly as he hugged her.
She silently thanked whatever deity or being that allowed Harry to be one of the people to save her from the troll in first year, because if that hadn't happened she wouldn't have had the chance to have him as a friend, as practically a brother.
Giving her a final squeeze, she felt him let her go and look at her, a bright smile taking the place of the frown that was previously there.
"Now, go finish getting ready. I'll wait for you here; we have 15 minutes before Mrs. Weasley expects us at the Burrow for lunch." He said hurriedly, pushing her out of the kitchen back towards her room.
Lunch… At the Burrow? What the fucking-
She froze in her spot causing Harry to bump into her, turning slowly she scowled at her best friend as she said stoically, "What did you just say?"
He visibly took a step away from her and with good reason, too. "Well it's been more than two months Hermione and I've managed to cover for you but-but you know Molly - she's fed up with the excuses she wants you over for lunch. She-she-she's even started to believe that you're upset with her or something."
Hermione growled, "I knew it! There just had to be another reason for you to have come here. I shouldn't be surprised."
Turning away from Harry she stalked back to her room, pulling the towel off her semi-dry hair and shaking out the curls furiously
"I'm not going, Harry, and that's final." Hermione said harshly.
She heard Harry walk into her room as she brushed the knots out of her hair in the bathroom.
"Oh come on Hermione, please. Molly is driving me crazy asking about you. Plus-plustheywontbethere." He said quickly, urgency clear in his voice.
Hermione stopped brushing her hair and looked into the mirror to see Harry standing a few feet behind her staring at her pleadingly and understandingly.
"Are-are you sure?" She asked timidly. She swallowed the knot that was forming in her throat.
Harry nodded. She sighed and placed the brush down by the sink. She leaned forward, her long hair covering her face as she grimaced.
"Fine, give me 5 minutes to finish getting ready."
"Thank you Hermione, you- you won't regret it." He said lightly.
She heard his retreating footsteps as she looked at her reflection once again in the mirror.
"I hope not Harry, I really hope not."
She quickly finished getting ready, slipping on her brown knee high boots, wrapping her mustard yellow scarf around her, and applying a bit of make up to brighten up her face; the last thing she needed was more questions. She'd said the phrase "I'm fine" more times than she'd care to admit the last few weeks.
Grabbing her wand and bag she went out to the living room to see Harry sitting on her comfy couch flicking through the channels on her telly.
"Ready?" he asked cautiously as he looked over at her.
She tried not to grimace. "As I'll ever be, it's only lunch right?"
Harry nodded. With that, just as she and Harry were about to leave, Hermione reached into her bag in search of her keys and pulled out last week's Daily Prophet. She had forgotten she had stuffed it in there once she had read the headline.
RONALD WEASELY, WAR HERO, MARRIES PREGNANT FIANCE REBECCA LISSOIE
Gripping the paper tighter than needed, she quickly tore it in two and threw it in the waste bin in the kitchen. Breathing deeply, she went back into the living room where Harry stood by her fireplace awaiting her.
Taking in a shaky deep breath she plastered a fake smile on her face and said cheerfully, "Ready."
Harry smiled back, completely unaware that Hermione was crumbling from the inside out, piece by piece, and eventually she would reach the point where there would be nothing left to crumble.