This is how I live my life. I wake up every morning and get out of bed. I stay up late at night trying to forget all of my haunted memories and my horrible past. They always tell me, go get help. They always tell me, just forget it all, it's easy. Truth is, it's not, and maybe I don't want to forget. Maybe I want to remember what happened because it makes my mind sharper. I become more prepared for the future and the obstacles it throws my way.
Every morning when I wake up I glance to the pictures on my nightstand and for a second I feel like she's back. She won't ever be back. My little sister Serena is dead, and I was suppose to be there for her. I was suppose to watch over her. I did everything I could but it didn't feel like it was enough. She died due to running in front of a car. Nobody ever understood why she did it, nobody except me. I don't approve of it, honestly I don't. She should've lived through it, held her head high, stuck up for herself. Yet she didn't... I have nothing against her for doing it, I just wish she hadn't...
After she died, Liam, our oldest brother lost his mind. The only person I have left in this world is Fennec, my other brother who's older than me but younger than Liam. My name is Astrid Heatherine and I'm fifteen. I attend Woodhaven high school and I'm in tenth grade. Today is just another day of going through torture, a murderous torture called high school. You must be thinking, come on, high school can't be that bad. Well, when everyone hates you and you have absolutely no reason why so you just go your own way alone, it is.
I slip out the front door and walk along the sidewalk. I really don't care if I'm late for school anymore, so I think I'll just avoid the bus. It'll be lonely here when Fennec graduates and goes off to college. It's still one more year but... you know how it is. Then something hits me, what if I don't have to live my life this way? What if I can start all over? What if I can escape... That would be nice except for not having Fennec around. I don't know what on earth I plan to do. I walk along more broken concrete and puddles of water from the downpour that we got last night. I'll be at school soon, part of me is yelling to not go, and I don't know why. I guess I'll find out...
"Astrid!" A voice behind me bounces and echos. I can tell they're running to catch up to me.
"Hello, Danielle." I say without turning around or stopping.
Danielle is one of my friends, aside from my brother Fennec. I think if I decide to leave she'll understand. Although, I'm not running away until I'm given another reason to.
"What're you up to? You didn't take the bus." She says.
"Neither did you, what's your point?"
"Well, Astrid, your..."
"Different? Weird? Insane? Stupid?"
"No... I was going to say you're you and unpredictable."
"My bad." I sigh.
I hop and skip across pieces of sidewalk and randomly jump around for fun.
"You seem glum." She tells me.
"Aren't I always? After all, look at me."
I wave my hands at myself pointing from my black lace-up sneakers to my black ripped jeans, a looped chain belt, and a neon blue tank-top that says 'Save me, I don't wanna be sane' in bold lettering. Then I manage to point out my black eyeliner, no I didn't use a ton of it either, black mascara, and light brown hair with black streaks in it.
"There's nothing wrong with the way you look, it's cool."
"Goth?" I say in a strange tone.
"No, you're not goth. Most of your outfits have black yet a lot of color. Also you don't go overboard with dark makeup either, so I'd go with describing you as emo or perhaps you just love that style."
"Heh," A laugh escapes my lips, "I suppose I could be considered emo, except one day I could wear this, or I could wear all color."
"Exactly!"
"Dani, we're gonna be late ya know."
"I don't think either of us care."
"Nope," I smile, "No we don't."
We continue walking until we reach the school. As I predicted, we were late by fifteen minutes. I don't think anyone noticed when we slipped into class though. I don't know why I came, I'm not going to be listening anyways. I know it sounds crazy but I already know everything and it's funny when the teachers ask me something, and I'm clearly not paying attention. The funny part is I reply without thinking, and it's always right. The teacher just grumbles and moves along then, leaving me alone for the rest of the period. I took a seat in a desk by the back of the room and got out my MP3 to listen to music. My choice, "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance.
"Miss Heatherine, what is 4.12562980 X 2.56742178? You have ten seconds to answer me or it's detention for you, due to your little hijinks of being late without an excuse, and listening to music in class."
I let out a sigh and think in my head through the problem.
"10.59223180473704 is the answer." I say without looking up from my MP3.
I hear the teacher drop her remote to the smart-board and I finally look up.
"Is something wrong, Miss Schultz?" I ask innocently.
"How did you..."
"Just don't question it, now may I please be left alone?"
"Don't question it? Miss Heatherine you have a remarkable ability in mathematics! Are you this way in all of your classes?"
"Ugh..." I moan, " Yes."
"Interesting... Class dismissed!"
Okay... That was weird. I walk to my locker and realize a new locker beside mine is open and I can't see who's beside me, due to them bending down. I can see their feet and from what I can tell it's a guy. He's wearing guy's black sneakers. The locker shuts and I finally see him.
"Oh... Uh hey." He says.
He has black hair and his bangs are above his eyes and swept to the side a bit. He's wearing an All American Rejects shirt and has a chain belt like me, with dark blue jeans leading to his black sneakers. His eyes are a strange shade of brown that could keep you staring at them and never figure the tone out.
"You're new here, aren't you?" I ask.
"Yeah, my name's Morrison."