Title: Pity
Author: Loki40766
Pairing: Mention of Kikyo/Inuyasha and Kagome/Inuyasha
Point-of-View: Kikyo
Notes: I wrote this to try to put the fact that Kagome and Kikyo were different into perspective. Have fun. This is a companion fic to my fic Replica, which is in Kagome's POV.
Summary: Kikyo muses on Inuyasha, Kagome, death, love, the gift of being remembered.
Disclaimer: The characters are in no way mine. I just play with them. I in no way claim them.
Inuyasha laid with me again last night. Ever since I retured to this farce of a life my sense of smell has increased, and that enabled me to scent the girl on him. That wretched girl, my foolish naive little incarnation. How dare bed that little whore? That filthy little slut that pants for, and would give herself to him for only an encouraging smile from him, how dare that bastard bed her, and then come to me. Me!
How dare I allow him into me? How can I settle for a man that will not hold himself faithful to me? But then I must remember that Inuyasha is not a man. The blood of a murderous demon runs through his veins. He can not be blamed for the sins of his parents. What was the slut who mothered him thinking when she took her pleasure with a demon? Of course, perhaps it was not consentual. Perhaps the demon saked his lust within her and left her little choice in the matter.
Those are the only possible explanations I can think for Inuyasha's existance. The woman must have either been a whore or have been taken unwillingly. But if it was the latter, why did she keep the child that grew inside? A few certain herbs and the life would have ended with little consequence for the woman, and the world would have been spared another halfbreed.
Inuyasha never bothered to mention his parents. He was most likely ashamed about his ancestry. After all, it is obvious neither he nor his mother meant anything to the demon, otherwise he would have kept them near him. The demon would have protected him.
Once upon a time, I loved Inuyasha. Or rather I love him still, but back then I was blind to his foul blood. Oh, I knew he had it, but I believed that I could cure him. A wish to eradicate the demon blood would have destroyed the Shikon no Tama, and I would have been free to explore my own pursuits. Inuyasha and I would have married and had several children to carry on my family name.
He would have had to take my name, after all he had none of his own, and my parents had had only females. My line would have lived on instead of it dying as it will with my younger sister's death. That death will probably not be long. Her youth is long over, and her body is weak.
I was naive back then. I believed that Inuyasha and I would have had a happy ending. Together forever, what a childish notion. Naraku's trickery came to some good in the end, because it showed me what a fool I was to believe in love. Love means nothing, only power is ever heard. I will eventually destroy Naraku, and the I will kill my incarnation, reclaim my soul, and use the Shikon no Tama to strip my Inuyasha of his demon blood. And after I remove that flaw, I will take Inuyasha with me to hell. In that way I can keep him with me, and never need lose him again. In a few centuries I will remove any adulterous thoughts, and make sure he never has a though to anything, but serving me.
The girl, my incarnation, is a fool. In the few times I and Inuyasha's companions have crossed paths, I have assessed her. My conclusion is that she is a fool. She trails after Inuyasha, even knowing that when he takes her it is not her that he is thinking of. I know this, becaused I have watched them in secret, using magic, so that I would not be noticed. I have heard my name on his lips as he fills her. If I heard, I know the girl did as well.
Even now, Inuyasha with his adulturous actions, still loves me, and only me. He does not see the girl, and thinks of her as only an extension of me. The girl knows this, and yet she still pants after him. She is an idiot child, but in a way, I envy her naivity. She believes that love will save her, that Inuyasha will turn to her, and they will defeat Naraku. It is a foolish belief, and it will bring about her death.
She will die without anyone truly loving her, except for maybe that fox kit (another foul demon). That is sad, and in odd moments of contemplation, I will pity her. I will pity that when I kill her, she will have no one to look into their memories and remember love. I will kill the kit with her. It will rid the world of another demon, and a dangerous possible enemy. Kitsunes are known for their trickery, and their long memories. I will also kill the others, the monk and the demon slayer. They both sullied themselves and ther respective professions when they took in with a halfbreed.
When I died, I had a whole village to remember me with love. I was their protector. They loved and respected me. The girl will have none to remember her with love, and that is why I pity her. I pity her, the monk, the demon slayer, and the kit. But I also pity myself, and even my Inuyasha. We will all die unremembered in everything except hatred. My sister will probably dead by my next death, but she will die like me with a whole village to remember and love her.
I pity us all. I pity how we will die unremembered.
That is sad. Everyone should have someone to think on them with love after they are gone. Oh well, we will most likely all be going to hell. Even the girl, are soul will become one again after her death. My personality will be dominant, though, I will make sure of it.
I pity in this also. I pity how she will not exist anymore after her death. Only I will exist.
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