The Enemy Love
A Parody off of Divergent
As the stiff walks down the stairs to choose her faction she remembers him. The beautiful guy in the line judging the Abnegation saying that we keep food for ourselves. Is he calling us fat? What was his name? When Tris got to the table with the coal, rocks, water, glass, and dirt she was thinking since I'm not divergent I will pick whatever he chooses. He chose Dauntless, although I don't like dauntless he was just so beautiful I couldn't help myself. As I cut my hand I raised it over the hot coals and watched my blood drip into the steaming coals.
As we were running to the train I tripped and scraped my knee, it was bleeding. I sit down and started to cry. I was poking at my knee. Suddenly the beautiful boy comes up to me, he picks me up and throws me into the train car yelling "MOVE IT STIFF! HURRY UP GOD YOUR SO FAT!" He must love me I thought. I lean in and kiss him; he punches me with a love punch.
As we arrived at the dauntless compound I was just staring in his sexy eyes. He said to me, " what are you looking at fatty?" We jump off the train holding hands. Right after we jump he gets out his hand sanitizer and washes his hands, what a germaphobe, I thought it was cute. I run up to kiss him again and he pushes me into the pit. Then I see Four, god he is ugly.
"Well hello there sexy." He says to me in a manly voice. I kick him in the balls. "Get away from me you pervert!" After I say that I turn around right away and kisses Peter. He kicks me where my cut knee is, it hurt. I smile he must really love me.
When we get to the room I sleep in the bed right next to him. He kicks my head in my sleep. When we went to go eat, he threw potatoes at me. I yelled to him, "Thanks for the food, ill savor it forever." Good thing I brought my video camera along with me, I will watch him and video tape him while he sleeps. We all went to bed, he fell asleep first, I kissed him. He punched me.
I woke Peter up in the morning kissing him. He asked me what's wrong with me. I don't think anything is wrong with me. I just sit in my bed eating pretzels and watch Frozen. "Can I watch Frozen with you? I love that movie." He asked. " I was just kidding." I said laughing. It seems like we were starting to bond. He kicks me again and walks away.
Then Four comes up to me and asks if I want to go to his room with him. I said no and walked away sassily. A girl named Christina came up to me and asked if I wanted a cookie. I denied her. I grabbed the cookie and gave it to Peter. He chucked it at my face. "is that a love cookie?" I ask sweetly. Peter looks at me in disgust before following a dauntless leader to the training room. I follow him. In the training room there is a black board with our names on it. Ill be fighting peter today. I hope hell go easy on me.
My fight comes up with peter. I step onto the platform. Peter is staring at me. He aims a punch at me but he misses. Probably on purpose. I giggle and kiss him. He kicks and punches me again. I beam at the catcalling crowd. Four shakes his head and leaves the room. Peters face is read with love for me now. He launches a hug at me, fist punching the air and screaming on the top of his lungs. I run at him too holding out my arms for a hug. Peter goes right by me and hits the wall. His face is stuck in the wall.
I hang out with Christina and will and al. peter is trying to make me jealous by hanging out with other people. Like molly. She's really fat and smelly. So is will in fact… al keeps on flirting with me. I wish he would stop. Can't he tell I'm with peter? What. A. Weirdo.
The first day goes by, and I get a tattoo of peters face over my heart. I love him sooooo much. Peter has moved his bunk away from me. I wonder why. Maybe he wants to get a better view of me from the other side of the room. No.. then he wouldn't have put up those curtains. Al moves to peters old bunk. NO! I want peter! Not stinky old al! he smells like crap.
That night I take my perfume and spray it all over al. now he smells a little better. But I drop my bottle of perfume on the floor and it shatters on a butter knife that someone left there. Someone should really pick that up, someone could get hurt, I think as I climb into my bed.
I wake up to a scream and see Edward lying on the floor, a butter knife in his eye. He must of slipped in the perfume. I sighed. Why did no one pick that up? People are such idiots. I got up and went to go get Four, he thought I wanted to sleep with him. I denied him and told him to go get Edward away from my bed. God I am a tattle tits. They emove Edward from the room. I thought to myself he got all of my perfume. I needed that to impress Peter. Al came up to me and asked if I wanted to share a milkshake with him. I said no and stuffed the straw down his throat. He starts to choke. I started to yell at him saying," GO AWAY NOBODY LOVES YOU! YOU ARE JUST A FATTY! U SMELL LIKE POOP GOING INTO THE BLENDER!" He falls on the floor and dies.
I go into the training room to look at the scoreboard and I am number 3. I must have really been loving Peter that they put me as number 3. I got rewarded with a Justin Timberlake doll. Peter walks up to me and hugs me. He says im sorry for hitting you. Eat this cake for me. I eat the cake and realize that he poisoned me. I fall on the floor and die. Peter goes and gives cake to everyone else but the trainers. For some reason everyone dies. He starts to laugh. I come back to life and kiss him with glory. He still wants to make out with me I thought. He asked me why wont I die. He grabbes a gun and shoots me in the boob. I fall to the ground and die.