Challenge: Random plot. Less than 500 words.
Robert Langdon had had his fair share of weird shit happen to him in his lifetime but nothing compared to his current situation. The tall, handsome man with thick brown hair and intelligent blue eyes was sitting awkwardly on a tiny stool in a grand hall of sorts. The ceiling somehow created a bizarre optical illusion giving the appearance of a night sky. A few hundred or so school students wearing a strange uniform of black robes watched him from their seats at four long tables. Though at the present moment all was shielded from view by a large patched, frayed and pointed hat which sat upon his head and covered his eyes.
Where am I? he thought despeartely.
It seemed like some really weird cult or religion or something but he recognised none of the symbols he'd seen and if anyone knew symbols it was Robert Langdon.
Light suddenly invaded his vision.
"Put it back on," said Professor McGonagall irritably.
"He's not a wizard," replied Professor Snape holding the hat out of reach as she snatched at it. "Plus he's a full grown man. Why are we even doing this?"
"He arrived on the Hogwarts Express with the other first years," squeaked Profressor Flitwick.
"Did he row across the lake?" countered Snape quickly.
"Enough!" interrupted McGonagall. "Look at his clothes. No muggle dresses like that! He must be a wizard."
"Hey," piped up Langdon finally. "Don't knock the Harris Tweed. It's awesome."
"He's not even British," exclaimed Snape angrily. "I say toss him in the lake!"
"Why can't I join in the argument," said Professor Sprout sulkily. "I'm head of Hufflepuff house and we always take the ones that don't belong anywhere else."
"I belong at Harvard in the United States of America," said Robert Langdon.
"Sherbet Lemon anyone?" asked Professor Dumbledore, blue eyes twinkling.
A moment later they were all sucking away of the citric candy.
"Now it seems to me," said the headmaster. "That we should allow the Sorting Hat to do it's job. Severus."
He put his hand out and Snape, rolling his eyes, relented handing the hat over.
Dumbledore placed the hat upon Robert's confused head once again. He sat there for ages, what felt like days and nothing happened.
"Ah maybe he is a squib after all," sighed Dumbledore after three days straight of sitting and watching the Sorting Hat do nothing upon the head of the overgrown "first year".
"Ha!" exclaimed Snape as he stood by yo-yoing, something he often did while bored. "That's what I said right from the beginning!"
"Oh shut up," snapped McGonagall ripping the hat off Langdon's head. "Let him be Filch's assistant for all I care!"
"Excellent idea Minerva!" said Dumbledore clapping his hands together.
And that's how Robert Langdon became the underling of Argus Filch.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review :)